Discover Top Posts Tagged with #drunkfight

#ItsTheLiquor #DrunkFight 😂😂😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bop6kKJhbEu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wojmbkbxr5b9

View this post on Instagram

"When a Mf had 1 too many"😂 #drunkmf #drunkfight #justcoolin

it is all GUNS DRAWN and shit and the WALMART door greeter saves my life...

This is a transcript of a true story I heard in chat tonight, completely unedited for your enjoyment.

[23:09 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So I am be=boppin around walMart, I stop and grab some ear buds, and then I goto the baby section becaut I have a new niece whose likle 8 months old...

[23:10 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So I grab some little 2-piece bathing suit for her cause we got this new water-park in town and my MOM, MY MOM her NANNY want to take her to it this summer...

[23:11 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So these trio of fucking faggot rednecks, and I am one but these ass-clowns do us a dis service...

[23:11 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: They all like... NICE SHITMAN!

[23:11 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I am all... yeah, for my niece...

[23:11 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: They all like, YOU A FUCKING KIDDY FUCKER!

[23:12 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I am all... Uh.... Dudes... I am like bigger than the three of you combined.

[23:12 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: They all like.... YEAH, YOUR LIKE SMELLIN' THAT BATHIN' SUIT.... FUCKER.

[23:13 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I am all... ok... I am just gonna go buy ice cream and leave.

[23:14 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So, I MUMBLE something like... SEE YOU BITCH FAGGOT ASSLIXKERS IN THE PARKING LOT IF YOU GOT THE FUCKING STONES CAUSE YOUR MOM IN THERE AND SHE IS FULLA MY CUM!

[23:14 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: ........Or something liek that.

[23:14 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: so I grab my ice cream. Butter Pecan.[23:14 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Cause it is my total fave!

[23:15 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Next thing I know these three faggots are in line behind me and they have one item, a bottle of water....

[23:15 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: so, I get it... Ok, I gotta fight now.

[23:16 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: My Jedi shit and the fact that they are saying... WERE GONNA FUCK YOU UP IN THE PARKING LOT FAT BOY.

[23:16 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I'm like,OK... COOL...

[23:17 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I buy my 7 dollar gallon of cream, they pay for the 1 buck water, and they are bumfizzled that I am standing and waiting for them to pay for it...

[23:17 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: GUESS they thiought I was gonna run....

[23:17 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: ........so we start walking to the lot...

[23:18 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I am of course walking backwards.

[23:18 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: They all of a sudden have SLOW MAN SYNDROME.

[23:18 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: me, being the di[plomat I amk talking them down on the way out, like... DICKSUCKERS!

[23:19 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: THREE OPN ME!

[23:19 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: DYING TO BITE YOUR EAR OPFF FAG!

[23:19 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: ...looking at the biggets... which aint saying much...

[23:21 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: ...so we get that place in WALMART that section where you are not mortal or immortal, the limbo, you klnow between doors.

[23:24 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So me and these 3 dick sack are in that WalMart doorway, where you are not out of the stor nor in it, but LIMBO... and I stop.

[23:24 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: They stoip, and I say, make your move... they surprisingly surroundme .

[23:25 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I kinda fart a tad... cause it is 3 on 1...

[23:25 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: And these fag bag did in fact take a triangle around me...

[23:26 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Now they are about 5'10 to 6 foot, 175 to 200 between the three versus me 6'3 near 300...

[23:26 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: so, I go "FUCK...really"...

[23:27 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: They GIGGLE, in unisun, really, in the same they all snicker...

[23:27 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So I drop my sack of ice cream, which is in a square tub and would have been a great weaopon.

[23:27 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: TO THE FLOOR...

[23:28 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: But I smile... and step out of my Croc's...

[23:28 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Yes, I rock the Croc's.

[23:28 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: You could have heard a pin drop...

[23:29 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Then I launch at one that wa near me, he was wearing a I SHIT YOU NOT METALLICA SHIRT!

[23:29 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I tackle him into a bank of Gumball machines...

[23:30 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: we hit the gumball maching, you kn ow them, all red and shit... we crash and tumble through them,... I am BIG, Carrie know, so does BEN, HE MET ME!

[23:31 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: They smash... gumballs and little footballs helmets everywhere....

[23:32 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I drop a couple elbows into this fuck nuggets mouth, he is whistling.... GET THIS FAT FUCKER OFF ME.....

[23:32 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: I am getting peppered in the back of my head, by his buddies...

[23:32 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: All I hear is WAL MART MANAGER!

[23:33 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: WAL MART MANAGER. over and over........

[23:33 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: And I got some fucking tie in my eyes!

[23:33 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Hit in the back og my svelt bald head and a tie blinding me...

[23:33 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So. I roll over and start tossing shit to everyone./......

[23:34 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: TIE goes down, and the other two are now grabbing a bench, yes a bench.,

[23:34 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: My WALMART has these fucking benches for old people to wait for the transit or shuttle.....

[23:36 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Now I got this tie wearing faggot, with a swollen lip, in front of me, a due in a Metallica shirt KO'ed on the floor, and two fucking shit suckers in Joun Deere shirts grabbing a bench and tossing it at me...

[23:36 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Now, here is where it getsb funny, to me...

[23:37 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: A guy walks between the flying bench and me and gets CREAMED by it.

[23:37 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: He is down, I LOL, and fly into the duo..,.

[23:38 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: FISTS and KICKS and shoes, my CROC's are gone, I bite one, some one grabs my balls...

[23:38 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: It is FUN AND GAMES for like serious 2 minutues.

[23:38 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: ........then everything turns red.

[23:39 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Like cloudy red.... and spicy!

[23:39 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Now I like spicey food, so I love it, but it is like, OMG SPICE!

[23:40 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: ..turns our DUE that goit hit with the bench, is a Sheriffsn deputy from the next county over and unleashed his pepper spary.....

[23:41 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Cause he was a total fag and lost where his GUN was, cause it went flying from his pants when he got KO'ed by a bench....

[23:42 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: so, he "WOKE UP". and sparyed his pepperr Spray... which I LOLed AT and sucked up and was Knocking OUT fuckers left and right... The two fuckers, I hit him, and some old m,an walking out with a bag of Cat Food that got caught in the middle....

[23:44 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: So, ten minutes later and the whole PD of my town rushes in, I am covered in red shit and smell like a bowl of Texas chili, but still standing, and there are five people laying around me, flopping around... and it is all GUNS DRAWN and shit and the WALMART door greeter saves my life......]

[23:46 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: ..........and I walked out with a BLUEBERRY GUMBALL BUBBLE GUM in my mouth./ and three dude went to jail!

[23:46 PM]FAT DRUNK STUPID: Now, I gotta go piss.

#walmart #fight #drunkfight #chat #truestory