#drunkstefan

[rip-her-blog]

Humanity has its disadvantages

Hangovers being at the top of that list. How long was I out?

[rippahstefan]

☎ (cause, Yolo.)

GURL

GURL

I just saw this ahmazing video on line

and this guy this guy this guy was like yelling at this girls butt

and was alll

HAYYY SEXY LADAY

so now

so now

so now

whenever I see you

I'm gonna air bite your bite and sing that

okay?

okay.

[rippahstefan]

☎ ('Cause I can.)

Hey remember that one time we had sex?

You screamed my name

The neighbors were knocking on the door

cause you were so loud that even they knew my name

but we didn't stop

....

or maybe that was a Trey Songz song...

awkward...

um...

ignore this 

[rippahstefan]

☎

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I DID TODAY

I FUCKING DOWNED DOOOOWWWNED A BOTTLE OF BOURBON 

then I masturbated for FOUR HOURS

thats

thats not okay

WHY IS NO ONE HAVING SEX WITH ME

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

if I was dead I wouldn't be sexually frusturated

why am I alive

what is happening

watishappeninn

[rippahstefan]

☎ (I can't resist. Sorry, not sorry)

Why

Why didn't you call me

We spent a beautiful night together

...

Is it because I cried? Is it...is it because I told you I loved you?

Klaus

Klausy

Klausypoo

Little Stefan wants to play 

He missessesses you

I miss you

Klauuuuus

Babyy

*hiccups* *hiccups* 

I HATE YOU

*silence*

No I don't

I'm sorry

Call me

[rippahstefan]

☎

WINNING

get it? get it? do you see what I did there?

you are gonna be one hot mama

that baby is gonna pop out of your vahjayjay and your body is still gonna be banging. 

*pauses*

I'm all alone

I don't know where I am

There's a lot of grass...is that an alien?!? OH MY FUCKING GOD THERES AN ALIEN IN FRONT OF ME

OH MY GODOH MY GOD

wait

wait wait

it's just a cow 

[rippahstefan]

☎

Hi this is the telemelemarketers office

Is your refrigerator running? Then you better catch ittttt

*laughs, for a while* 

Oh oh oh

Hi, this is the vet. You left your dog here. He died. Our bad. 

*silence*

I'm not a vampire. Bye.

[rippahstefan]

☎

I was talking to Klausypoo

and he was telling me how you guys almost had sex in the forest

how come we never had sex in the forest

and he was saying how you wanted hot hybrid sex

but I'm not a hybrid

so then I got sad

and Klaus cheered me up with his penis

but I'm not supposed to tell anyone