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It's simple:
You can't have healthy kink without full and active consent.
You can't have full and active consent without the right to remove that consent at any time.
You can't have the right to remove consent without a method to do so.
You can't have healthy kink without safe words.
Listen y'all, CNC is edge play. It's inherently dangerous. We don't worry about damage from edge play, we actively anticipate damage from edge play. That damage may be predominantly mental with CNC, but that doesn't make it any lessor.
CNC, as in all edge play, is for a ridiculously small group of people that are a rare combination of interested enough in it, healthy enough for it, mentally strong enough for it, experienced enough for it, and in a trusting enough relationship for it. It's probably not a good idea for you, whoever you are.
Stop throwing CNC around like it's nothing more that some light kink play. Stop glamorizing something you probably have zero real life experience with.
And, to the big mean Tumblr doms posting about CNC, trust me, we can tell you've read about it in online smut and that's it.
"but it's between two consenting adults*
The number of times I see that line thrown out like it's some instant excuse for any and all behavior legitimately shocks me. The idea that everyone is supposed to just smile and nod at any and all behavior as long as the parties involved are consenting adults is simply ridiculous.
Just because that 18-year-old girl consented to being with that 48-year-old man, we're supposed to act like that's okay? Just because the guy that's been exposed to nothing but abuse and sexual trauma his entire life consents to engaging in permanently damaging edge play, we should be fine with that? Just because someone didn't have the experience to understand what they were really consenting to gave their consent anyways, we should ignore the way they were taken advantage of?
We won't even get into the massive amount of times that people are consenting to kinks to please a partner, not because they actually want to engage in those kinks.
Consent is crucial, but consent is not a fucking get out of jail free card. If you're having to lean on consent to excuse your behavior... there's a problem.
I have no idea exactly when the online BDSM community decided that CG/L was the norm for every 18 to 24-year-old female presenting submissive, but it's fucking weird, and we need to stop.
For one, we're opening them up to the 70% of the men calling themselves daddies that are just using that as code meaning they're looking for especially young submissives to prey on. (Let's be honest, it's probably a lot higher than 70%)
CG/L is a small subset of D/S. It used to be very small. I find it nearly impossible to believe that such a majority of young women identify with the lifestyle.
Online BDSM has group thought itself into some really weird areas, and this is definitely one of them. Stop assuming anyone is a little unless they tell you otherwise. Definitely stop assuming every small, young, woman is a little.
