DSC memorial: why Damon Salvatore is, and always will be, more than just a fictional character.
So I should start by saying I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that Damon will be back. Ian is contracted up to S6, and let’s face it: there’s no show without him. But that doesn’t mean his death hasn’t hit me hard, and I’m taking advantage of the fact there is the Damon Stan Club’s memorial to get this out of my system.
Damon Salvatore is more than just a fictional character. Yeah, I know, you’ve heard that before, right? But for me, he has represented everything. Mostly, hope. Now he’s gone, for a while, that hope was extinguished.
I’m going to tell you a brief overview of my journey with TVD and mainly, Damon. As many of you might know, I suffer with several chronic illnesses which cause me to be in severe pain 24/7, suffer with extreme fatigue, feel like I have flu all the time and sometimes causes paralysis, to name but a few symptoms. I’m not going to go into detail about all of that, because a lot of you have probably heard it all before - and if you haven’t, look in my FAQ or just ask. I won’t bore you by talking about these Illnesses too much.
But bottom line is, I turn 18 in a few months and I have been sick since I was 10 years old. It isn’t easy. I have depression and anxiety too - correlated to, but not caused by, my health conditions. So yeah, things have been difficult at times. But I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for TVD and Damon.
I first read the books In the January of my last year of school - not far off two and a half years ago. I was in a very bad place. I had been In the hospital through the previous September and half of October, and when I’d returned to school in the November, I was having to use a wheelchair. Up until then, I’d loved school. But being in a wheelchair changed everything. I lost my friends. I was bullied more than before. The learning support assistants used to forget to push me to each class. I was 15, studying for the most important exams of my life, and I hated everything.
This was my first battle with depression, I know that now. I wasn’t diagnosed back then, though. I just used to sit and try not to cry every lunch time as I was shoved in a corner, blocking out the bullies. I used to read and keep my head down, counting the hours until I could go home, be free; and counting the days until I never has to come back.
Then I started reading TVD. I fell in love straight away, and even more with Damon Salvatore. and then my online friend, and future Delena role play partner, who got me reading the books, told me to watch the show. I wasn’t a tv show fan at all, but I loved the books so much I had to.
That’s when my obsession began. It brought me to Tumblr, it brought me to the friends I made on here, it brought me to other shows and books which helped me deal with life, and most importantly, to discovering Ian Somerhalder. He got me through that time almost as much as Damon; I’d watch his interviews when I got home, and I soon set myself a goal of going to a TVD convention to meet him the following year.
I left school in the June and things looked up, but it was still TVD that got me through it. I fell in love with Damon even more by watching the show, and he was almost like my light in the darkness. If thinks were really bad, I’d think, “What would Damon do/say?” and thinking of all the outrageous things managed to cheer me up, just like watching and rewatching the show and waiting for a new episode every week. Just like I read the books over and over and also continued watching Ian ’ s interviews.
Summer came. I’d finished school and was trying to build my confidence up for college - as well as working towards walking on crutches instead of a wheelchair. During the summer and TVD hiatus is when I really got into Tumblr. The fandom made me realise I could be likeable, and my blog was something I was actually good at - well, at least enough to have followers. Headcanons and fanfics got me through the hiatus. Then I started college - without my wheelchair.
Things were better at college, but it was still hard. But I had a huge goal in mind - meeting the TVD cast in the following June. That got me through it, as did weekly episodes and Damon. My first year of college came and went quite easily; I managed to meet the TVD cast, which was amazing. During summer hiatus, I started slipping back into depression. When I went back for my second year of college in September 2013, I only managed a few weeks before I was overcome by depression. I went back after two months but soon I ended up coming out of college due to the fact I had an emergency operation. I lost my friends again.
But TVD and you guys got me through - Damon got me through. And even though there was a time I almost stopped watching, I never stopped loving Damon. He got me through so much. He will always be my hope.
I’m on my way to feeling a lot better mentally now, starting a new college in September and feeling more positive and that’s largely thanks to you guys who I’d never have met without TVD and Damon. Damon was - is - my light in the dark. Something I remained passionate about even when I wasn’t even enthusiastic about living. He’s so much more than a fictional character and always will be.
