In collaboration with @desperatejoys. We had an insanely fun time with this and hope you enjoy!!
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What if our favorite evil guys got plopped in a mansion a la Big Brother and had to coexist in a cutthroat competition to win an elusive prize? Get ready for the Absolute's Next Top Chosen! In this gripping comedy event of the century, alliances will be forged, secrets will be revealed, and the crew on set realize that they have bitten off a bit more than they can chew. (Rated TV-14)
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Some notable appearances include: Gortash as an NFT tech bro, Durge as the lead singer of a death metal band, Ketheric as a washed up vet, Balthazar as the owner of a definitely above board 'island resort,' and the ever enigmatic Orin as... herself.
Interviewer (off screen): Cyril, you're the current lead singer of the cult-classic death metal band 'The Unholy Assassins', heir to the Bhaal family fortune. I think the one question that we all have on our minds is–
Cyril: As I told your producers, there is no provable connection between the recent disappearances and our shows. We are not responsible for the activities of our fans inside or outside the venues. You will drop the subject or you will hear from my attorney.
Interviewer: I was going to ask what a man of your means would gain from winning the prize? I'm sure the winnings are dwarfed by your personal fortune.
Cyril: Our music seeks to bring people together. In a world full of division brought about by previous generations, we ask our fans to "give their lives," so to speak, to a new purpose. One of togetherness, committing to raze the world to the ground so that a new world can spring forth from the ashes. Being here further spreads this message, and I plan to give all of my winnings to my father's charity, Bhaal's Embrace. Everything I do is for my fans, and I–
[Z'rell cautiously approaches mid-interview, holding a tour poster that has seen better days. Unlike her previously confrontational attitude, her approach seems tentative as she edges closer to the man on camera. Cyril notices her, raising his eyebrows, but does not look at her directly.]
Z'rell: Uhh, excuse me? Hi! I'm, um, well I guess it doesn't matter who I am. I've been a fan of yours for ages, but I've never made it to a meet and greet because stupid Balthazar doesn't pay me– Anyway. I was wondering if you could… and I understand if you're busy so I'm sorry if this is a bad time. But could you maybe… sign my–
[Cyril abruptly turns toward her, snatching the poster. He grabs Z'rell's wrist and slashes a small cut into her forearm with the kitchen knife, then dips his sharpened acrylic nail into the blood and draws out a polished, practiced signature on the paper. He gives her a patronizing, if not indignant, smile before turning back to the camera. Z'rell's face darkens several shades and she leaves the room hurriedly.]
Cyril (to camera): If she's a fan of mine, I'm not entirely sure how she's lasted this long… That is to say, The Unholy Assassins' fanbase is fickle and monstrous. It is rare to see a fan survive for more than a couple tours.
