🖊 your boy dexter
Dex. You hear me sob about him constantly on Disc i know but GODDD MY BABY
This man, this absolute fucking NOODLE of a man, has gone through 10 years of absolute nonsense, only to become the local gay cryptid. and GOD do i love him.
FO3-era Dex, he’s mad Dad Neeson fuckin bailed out on him and left Dex to handle all the mess. Dick move, yet he still falls apart when James actually does kick the bucket. He helps take out the Enclave in the Capital Wasteland, he steals a baby from a slave/slaver dispute, he gets abducted by fucking ALIENS, and nearly gets his shit kicked in by a brain in a jar. And that’s when he’s nineteen.
Fast-forward four years, he’s 25 and now just a mailman out west. Easy shit, right? WRONG. He gets the wrong kinda package and gets his shit kicked in by (and i wish i were making this up) a cube-headed fuckbastard of Chandler from Friends. He wakes up, now one-eyed and twice as upset - but hey, he’s still got one of his boyfriends! Sure, he fucked off and became a cyborg (since @ft-frolic only plays New Vegas for OWB anymore bwehehehe) but that’s ok BECAUSE HE HAS A SOFT AND WONDERFUL FRIEND and it’s his STEALTH SUIT.
and then like, fuckin, he’s just floofin his feeties across the desert tryin his damn best to figure out shit about dick, all he wants is to suck dick and go back to sleep. Then they meet Arcade - John remembers him, sure, but Dex is still about as aware as a brick in a Wendy’s. That’s not very aware. What he does know tho is that Arcade is one FINE snacc of a fella, and John agrees. So they all team up together, kicking ass and taking names and taking ass and screaming names and– look they do a lot of stuff but mainly each other.
THEN THERE’S FALLOUT 4. Six years, now this man’s 30 and his posse is playing sidekick to the actual Sole Survivor, my buddy’s big manlet Burton, but he’s still got his own thing going - he helps Arcade set up a Followers outpost in the Commonwealth, he helps the Sole find his kid (and a new boyfriend, soz Nora), and that’s fuckin damn wonderful. I love Dexter so FUCKING much
AND THIS IS JUST WITHOUT THE FIC STUFF - HE HELPS DYCE WITH HER SHIT AND HELPS LUMEN MAKE PEACE WITH THE REMNANTS AND HNNGJNDFGFHNFHGHHH