Idk if I’m thinking too much of it, but the thing is, you could have been it. If how the way it was going before he got back in contact with me were going. I feel like you could have been it. Or at least it could have been something ya know? What’s the point thinking about it now though? You’re no longer here, your time ran out..and I didn’t do anything to apologize. But who would have known ya know? I thought you were going to be able to live a long life, a life with filled with so many experiences you had yet to experience. But in your short life you lived your best life. I mean you made it to be what you had always wanted to be. I ran to something familiar instead of giving myself a chance to move on from that and see where it could go. I didn’t get to know you properly, though I wish I had not ruined the chance to do so like I had. Throughout the passed 4 years I had always wondered how you were doing, so I’d check up on you from a distance. Not in a creepy way of course, just to see if I you had updated your tumblr, which is what happened last night. Which is also how I found out about you passing away, and the hardships you had gone through. I’m just glad you’re no longer in pain, that you had passed on so loved, that you got to do the one thing you had always wanted to do before you left, that you got love and be loved again by someone so wonderful for you as you were to her. You made a difference int the world Ricky, a big amazing difference in every life that got to have the honor of meeting you. Wherever you may be in heaven Richard, I hope you’re at peace. I’m sorry.. I feel like I’m not letting you rest..though our friendship was short, you’ve always had a place in my heart and always will. There’s not a day where I hadn’t thought of you.
I remember when we both had started our new jobs, I had just started at Wendy’s and you had just started at Ross working as a Loss preventions person. I remember when I first started talking to you on here with your smooth self. When I would talk to you after class on Facebook. Those many times you made me smile or when I’d type toooooo much. Sorry if I scared you when I would do that. I’m probably rambling on now, maybe you’re wondering why I’m even giving you a thought but you meant something to me and I took it for granted at the time. I liked you at the time..a lot actually and I panicked and went for something I knew, despite knowing how bad it got before with them. I don’t think I can forgive myself for doing that, at least..not now. I do hope you can one forgive me Ricky, you were my friend despite everything you had been my friend. I’m just so heartbroken, why did you have to go that way? Why did life have to take you away that way? I’m hoping it was quick and painless. It’s just hard to believe you know?
Well..goodnight and sweet dreams
Officer Richard C. Barnett Jr.
May your heart and soul Rest In Peace
It was such a privilege to have gotten the chance to know you.
Maybe one day I'll fly next to you
Maybe one day I can fly with you”
