Name: Dumb Drum
Debut: Donkey Kong Country
This is not a prop. This is not a set piece. This is not even a mere stage hazard. This metal barrel? This is a boss. A gosh darn boss. I'm sorry, but it is time to ROAST this inanimate object.
Have you ever heard people talk about the bosses in Donkey Kong Country 1, besides K. Rool? Probably not. Just somewhat bigger versions of existing enemies... and recolors of those big versions. Sure, Yoshi’s Island may have used big versions of enemies as bosses, but each one felt grand and unique, and of course, considerably silly. But we’re not here to talk about the others... we’re here to talk about this dumb drum, Dumb Drum.
Even the game knows that this thing is dumb. Maybe it was designed and named by two separate people who hated each other and fun. Regardless, the design does little to convey that it’s sentient in the first place. I guess it’s the glowing eyes? The glowing eyes of the skull that is clearly just painted onto this inanimate barrel. Yeesh.
So. The battle. This thing flies for some reason. Why can it do that? Why can it move at all?! It spits out two enemies at a time, which can both be easily defeated in the same roll attack, and then attempts to crush the Kongs, increasing the amount of times after each enemy wave. Once this happens enough times, it dies. Should I even use that word? It... gets destroyed? I guess it slammed down too hard the last time. Is THAT why it’s dumb?
Really, any design trait could have made this a lot more fun. What if it was a drum-based robot? With arms and/or legs, and, dare I say it, eyes peeking out from the darkness inside? Anyway, this has been the first true roast, as I harbor no true animosity toward King Ka-Thunk.
