Summary: After finding out the news of being adopted, Duncan goes to Y/N for comfort.
Warnings: Third person POV, fluff, angst, sad! Duncan, some swearing
A/N: I’ve never been interested in watching House of Cards, but I just watched season six, purely for Duncan, and even then I skimmed through and only watched the Duncan scenes loll. So if anything seems off from the actual story, pls forgive
Also will post the next chapter of Innocence Meets Corruption sometime next week hopefully!! :))
“You know, she told me to ask you something,” Duncan spoke towards his mother. “She told me to ask you where I came from,” he adds, an expression of hesitation and potential betrayal registering on his face.
The look on Annette’s face was all it took for Duncan to realize the reality. The confirmation of what Claire's questions meant when telling Duncan to ask Annette of where he came from; asking him of the first memory he had of his mother.
He knew now. Especially as Annette stalked back down the hall into the other room, demanding Seth to put out the headline of Claire's abortion of sixteen weeks, completely ignoring Duncan’s questioning.
Duncan was as put together as he looked. He was confident, composed and self-assured. He was handsome, intelligent, smooth and charismatic. He knew how to do his job and he knew how to do it well. He knew all of this about himself. He might come off as arrogant to some, but he was just self-aware, humbly enlightened of his wealth, power and position.
But one seemingly little mistake, and it was desolation for him and his so called family.
Just before questioning Annette of where he came from, his “uncle” Bill was throwing a tantrum of sorts. Duncan was being insulted, not just of his intelligence and choices, but whole being it seemed. It wasn’t like Duncan to get caught up in the emotions. But he couldn’t help that his uncle’s prior words of saying, “This towel is smarter than you,” “Seth is smarter than you,” “The sweat on my brow is smarter than you, Duncan,” seemed to hurt him in a way that normally wouldn’t have.
And now to add to that was his family was not even his actual family. Not really, not anymore, it seemed.
It was taking a difficult toll on him. His “uncle’s” words, plus finding out this family secret within such a short about of time was upsetting him more than he liked to admit. He wasn’t sure how to handle or react to any of it.
The only thing that came to mind regarding all this was he wanted to talk to a friend of his. Sort of a friend. The only person he could think of wanting to confide to that could be of any help or comfort was Y/N.
He’d met her a few years ago when out with a mutual group of friends for the evening. The friend group had planned on going out for a good time, wanting to get some drinks, relax and have fun. Y/N shared the same friends Duncan had, though the two had never personally met before until then.
Once out that night with their group of mutual friends and meeting each other, they hadn’t exactly clicked as everyone might have hoped. Duncan and Y/N were sarcastic and feisty towards each other, firing comebacks constantly back and forth, seeming to argue on everything: Which restaurant to attend, which bars to hop, what round of shots to order.
Their bickering was endless, but it somehow worked. Their constant back and forth was amusing, obvious teasing, though you’d never catch them sitting side by side or having just a friendly chat. Not when there was always something for them to argue about. You could say they were “frenemies,” having a love/hate relationship.
Nonetheless, no matter the amount they argued, there were times they could be civil and tolerate each other. Duncan also knew how kind and compassionate Y/N was. And this is what made him want to reach out to her in this distressing time of his life.
~
Taking a drive over to Y/N’s apartment once Duncan left the presence of his “mother” and “uncle”, he realized an impatience growing in him. He hurried, wanting to arrive to her doorstep as soon as he could, wanting to speak with her quickly. He felt himself deteriorating mentally over all that had happened to him within the last few hours and felt Y/N was his only outlet.
Duncan found himself knocking on her door quite frantically as he arrived, recognizing he needed to try and contain his composure before being greeted by the girl. He didn’t need to hear any teasing or bickering about his desperate knocking. Any teasing for that matter was the last thing he needed at this moment. But it was a risk he was willing for to see Y/N.
Duncan held his breath when hearing the locks of the door being unlocked. Whatever breath he held escaped his body when she answered the door. Though she narrowed her eyes at his presence, obviously confused, he couldn’t help but find her so gorgeous where she stood. Wearing a black over-sized band tee and black leggings, she looked adorably comfy and alluring all at once. It wasn’t unusual that he found himself drawn and attracted to her, but he always had to keep himself contained considering the type of relationship they had.
“Duncan Shepherd,” she spoke, almost sarcastically. “To what do I owe this,” she looked him up and down. “Pleasure?”
It’s caught her off guard with seeing Duncan, standing with his obvious fit and tall frame, broad shoulders, and brunette hair pushed back in a way that always had her trying not to stare for too long. She usually liked a clean shaven face, but the stubble on Duncan’s face always had her stomach flipping, and she dreaded the day he would shave it off, if ever. The way he carried himself, with such a dominant confidence, she often found herself trying not to blush over his handsome looks. Not to mention his gorgeous blue piercing eyes that always took her breath away.
“Thought we could have a bit of a chat,” Duncan spoke collectedly.
“A chat, really,” she starts, not believing him.
He stared back at her casually.
“I know you better than that,” she crosses her arms. “I know there has to be some ulterior motive.”
Duncan shakes his head nonchalantly.
“What is it? Need extra people to attend some charity ball your family is holding? Or need more support for a Shepherd’s Foundation project? Because if so, I’m not interes--”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Duncan waves off. “I, I know this is.. out of the ordinary, but I thought we could.. hang out?” Duncan says laid-back.
Y/N narrows her eyes. “Hang out,” she repeats confused.
Duncan nodded.
“Uh.. Are you sure there isn’t some other reason?”
“Why? Is it so hard to believe I’d want to hang out with you?” Duncan asks questioningly.
She laughs a bit, “You’re kidding, right? You know how we are with each other.”
Duncan doesn’t say anything.
“Uhm,” she looks behind her as if she were to be looking at someone.
“Am I interrupting anything,” Duncan asks, pushing sudden disappointment and even slight jealousy down his throat.
Looking back at Duncan, she shakes her head. “No, no. I was just, um,” she pauses. She sighs. “Okay. Don’t laugh, but.. I was watching Twilight,” she drops her arms.
“Twilight,” Duncan actually laughs genuinely.
“It’s my guilty pleasure, alright,” she defends. “I always liked the movies when I was younger. Everyone hated on it to just be ‘cool,’ and I don’t know, the story isn’t that bad.”
Duncan raises his eyes like he’s calling bullshit.
“Shut up,” she glares. “I said don’t judge me.”
“I would never,” Duncan says teasingly.
“Whatever,” she waves him off. “You want to come in then, or not?” She stands back, gesturing inside for him.
Duncan gladly steps in, Y/N closing the door behind as he enters.
“I’ll turn the movie off now, for your sake. But I hope you realize you’re cutting into my ‘me time.’ So you owe me,” she points, walking off into her living room and turning the movie off.
“I’m so flattered,” Duncan retorts sarcastically as he follows her.
“You should be. Of all the people to show to my doorstep, and it’s you,” she adds, shaking her head as she walks again towards her kitchen.
“Oh come on, Y/N. You know you like me,” Duncan teases as he continues to follow her.
Y/N walks around to the far side of her kitchen, rolling her eyes. “You are my least favorite human on the planet, Duncan.”
“Then why are you allowing me into your home and letting me disturb your beloved Twilight time?” He asks as he stands at the door frame of the room.
“Because I’m a nice fucking person, Shepherd,” she fires back.
Duncan grins, their banter and disputing always border-lining playfulness, therefore he knows that if he annoys her profusely, she still doesn’t hate him, even if she says she does.
“Anything you’d like to drink,” Y/N asks, reaching for her cabinets and opening them to grab some glasses.
“Whatever you’re having,” Duncan says as he steps further into the kitchen and pulls a chair out at the counter bar in the middle of the room.
“How about a shot of Whiskey,” Y/N offers as she places the glasses on the counter in front of him.
“I’ll definitely have a glass,” Duncan explains, sighing out discreetly.
Biting her tongue, she can see that there’s something bothering Duncan. She heard it in his tone. She curiously wonders to herself what it could be, wondering if that’s why he’s actually come over to see her, maybe to talk to her about it. It would make more sense somehow compared to Duncan just wanting to “hang out” so suddenly.
Pouring Duncan a shot of whiskey and sliding the glass over to him, he gladly takes the cup, downing the drink in one swallow. She pours herself a glass too, and takes a seat beside Duncan at the counter where he sits. She refills Duncan’s glass again but tells him to slow down with a soft laugh.
“So what’s bugging you,” she asks, holding the glass in her hand but not drinking as she looks over at him beside her.
Looking at her with a narrowed expression, he shakes his head a bit. “Bugging me? Nothing’s bugging me,” he lies.
“Oh please,” she rolls her eyes. “Yes there is. I can read it on your face.”
Duncan looks over at her with an impassive expression.
“Don’t try and hide it now. I know something is bothering you,” she points out.
Duncan came over here in the first place wanting to confide and vent to Y/N, knowing she’s a good listener and nonjudgmental. But as he sits with her now in her kitchen, he can’t bring himself to utter the words he wants to. So he pushes it all down, trying to drown out the day’s events instead.
“Nope,” Duncan says as he downs the second shot of whiskey, letting out a deep sigh afterwards. “Just, coming to hang out.”
“Seriously,” Y/N mutters, not believing him.
“Yep.”
Y/N sighs, “Alright. Whatever you say, Duncan. Cheers then,” she raises her glass and brings it to her lips, drinking down her whiskey shot.
“I thought you didn’t like whiskey?” He questions as he watches her drink.
Y/N hated whiskey, actually. The smell, the taste, the burn afterwards. It disgusted her. It didn’t make her feel good or give her any way of relaxing. She despised the liquor. But she always had a bottle around now because she knew Duncan liked it, and when their friends would come over to hang out for whatever reason, she wanted to have the bottle just in case Duncan showed too, like last time.
She wasn’t going to admit this to him though.
“It’s alright sometimes,” Y/N grits, trying to hold back on giving a disgusted face over the taste and burn of the whiskey. She looks over at him. “It’s an acquired taste that not everyone appreciates.”
“Didn’t I tell you that after you had a sip of my drink once and threw up over it?” Duncan asks, smirking lightly.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” she scoffs. “I didn’t throw up.”
“You were practically dry heaving,” Duncan rolls his eyes.
“You’re exaggerating. I had never tried it before, I just needed to get used to it.”
“Mhm,” Duncan smiles. “Whatever you say, Y/N.”
“Bite me, Duncan,” she rolls her eyes again, looking away.
Duncan doesn’t say anything as he grins and looks her up and down in her seat, taking in her outward appearance. Finding her as a mix of adorable and sexy, and loving how sassy and full spirited she could be with him, yet there was a sweetness to her too.
Looking back at Duncan, she asks, “So what actually brought you over here?”
Duncan’s grin fades, looking down at the empty glass of whiskey in front of him. He had almost forgot what was bothering him.
Pushing the glass away, he sighs, and pushes a hand through his brunette locks. He wanted to speak to Y/N so badly of the day’s events, but something in him had him refraining because he didn’t want to seem weak, or even unlovable, with telling her about the news. He wouldn’t want Y/N to think of him in those ways as it would potentially ruin any positivity she had for him, if there was any at all.
He shrugs, “I told you. Just wanted to hang out.”
“Don’t give me that. We’re not exactly two peas in a pod,” she says. “Out of all the friends we have, and you decide to show up to my doorstep? To hang out?”
Duncan brings a hand to his mouth, wiping away as if something were there. He looks away, trying to think of an excuse he can come up with that isn’t the truth.
“Duncan,” Y/N says, bringing his focus back to her as he looks back at her. “What’s going on?”
“I hadn’t seen you in awhile,” he tries to play off.
She sighs out again. “Fine. Okay, I won’t pry. You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, why you showed up,” she starts. “But you can talk to me, about whatever, if you need, you know,” she adds, tone softening.
He knew he could talk to her, which was the whole point of why he showed up. But he became more fearful in telling her what was going on the longer he sat there in front of her. Part of him desperately wanted to vent to her, to let out everything, but the other part kept him on lock down, refusing to let him speak.
His mind seemed to be racing with conflicting choices, adding to his distress of the day’s earlier events. “I think I need another shot,” he laughs lightly without humor, reaching over for the bottle of whiskey on the counter in front of them.
“Dude,” Y/N says, stopping his hand and pushing the bottle further away from him. “No, chill. Take it easy. Let me get you some water. I don’t need you to be the one dry-heaving after too many glasses.”
Duncan can’t help but smile a bit over her words as she in-directs about her first experience with the drink.
After getting him a glass of water, Duncan thanks her, appreciating the refreshing drink and taking a long sip of the cool beverage, breathing out after.
“What’s going on in that head of yours? I can see how whatever it is that’s bothering you is getting at you more and more the longer you’re here,” Y/N points out, trying to coax it out of him.
Duncan holds his breath for a moment. He did come all the way over here to vent to her, but should he really open to her, he wonders to himself. He knows he has nothing to be apprehensive about, but he can’t help but worry about what she will ultimately think. Yet, he knows he can trust her.
He sighs out after a quiet moment. He looks over at her, his eyes looking clouded and somewhat dispirited.
“Duncan,” she speaks softly, narrowing her eyes with sorrow, seeing a transition in his eyes. Usually his eyes are so lively, enticing, and ready to fire back with a comeback to match hers, but they’re dismal now. She reaches a hand over, covering his as it rests on the counter. “What’s going on? Are you okay?” She asks, her tone genuine and gentle.
He glances at her hand on his before he shakes his head. Her touch is warm and caring, and it causes a stir in his chest. He looks back at Y/N, half-shrugging, “No, not really.”
“What’s wrong,” she turns to him in her seat, facing him. “What happened?”
He sighs out.
“You can talk to me,” Y/N assures.
“I know. I know I can,” Duncan begins. “It’s.. why I came over here,” he admits.
Y/N nods a bit. She’s upset Duncan is obviously upset and has something bothering him. But she can’t ignore the fact that it makes her happy that Duncan chose her to trust with confiding to.
“For some reason,” a reason Duncan wasn’t ready to admit, “I knew out of everyone in my life, you would be the most trustworthy and honest, actually,” he shakes his head again, looking away.
Y/N thinks over his chosen words. “Did someone you trust betray you,” she asks.
“’Betray,’” he laughs. “That’s a word for it.”
“What is it? What is it that happened? Did someone do something?”
“It’s what they didn’t do,” he looks back at her, scrunching his nose as he sniffs.
Y/N looks at him, keeping quiet, but her expression encouraging him to talk.
“I, um,” Duncan starts.
She raises her eyes, her expression tender as she waits for Duncan to continue speaking.
Duncan bites his tongue, but then sighs out. “I found out I.. I’m adopted,” he states sorrowful.
Y/N’s eyes widen a bit, taking in the sudden words from Duncan. “Oh, wow. Um,” she trails off, trying to figure out the proper response to give.
“It’s not that. Not completely,” Duncan leans back in his chair. “It’s the fact that my own ‘mother’ didn’t have the audacity to tell me herself, and that when I did find out, she didn’t bother explaining or, or... or to even console me about it,” he looks at her despairingly, “like it meant nothing,” Duncan breathes out.
“What do you mean,” she narrows her eyes, trying to make sense of his words.
“Fuck,” Duncan mumbles, closing his eyes for a second. He hates how vulnerable he is now in front of her. Looking away, he stands up. “I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have shown up, told you anything. I’m sorry, I’ll go,” he says, walking out of her kitchen without another look.
“Duncan, wait,” Y/N stands up too, following after him. “Hold on Duncan,” she calls.
Rushing after him, she grabs his shoulder before he reaches the door, turning him back to her. He looks away like he couldn’t care less. “Give me a minute, give me a second to listen to you, okay? I’m not judging you, I’m not gonna tell anyone anything about your business. You know that.”
“That’s not my concern,” he looks at her. “I just know it, it’ll give you more of a reason to hate me probably. I mean, my own ‘family’ doesn’t care about me apparently, so why would you?”
“Duncan, of course they care, they,” she trails off, stopping, trying to find the right words to say. “I, I can’t understand what you’re talking about unless you tell me everything that happened.”
“I don’t want to talk about everything that happened. I’m trying to block it out of my mind, Y/N,” Duncan exclaims.
Y/N nods, “Right, okay, you’re right, I’m sorry. I know. I should know that. I just, I don’t know how to help without knowing the full story.”
“You don’t have to fucking know everything,” he calls, gesturing a hand out. “Maybe just, I don’t know, just,” he trails off, shaking his head. He just wanted to be told he was worth an explanation, told it would be okay, to just be held, to have someone to hold onto. Releasing a deep breath, he brings his hands to his face, trying to hide the fact that his eyes are beginning to water.
“Duncan, hey, it’s okay,” she speaks softly, stepping over. She reaches up to grab his wrists, pulling gently on them until he drops them with hers to expose his sorrowful face. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, we don’t need to talk about it. I’m here. I’m here for you, whatever you need. I’m here.”
With her hold still on Duncan’s wrists, she brings them to wrap around her shoulders as she closes the space between them and wraps her arms around his torso.
She hugs him, her hold tight but not constricting, her hands trailing gently along his back soothingly. Her hold comforting, and safe, giving Duncan a sense of security he didn’t realize he had been craving.
He begins to wonder if this is how all her hugs felt. The two always greeted with a snarky hello or teasing wave. They were never close enough to be personal with each other, much less to even hug. It’s why this whole situation was confusing and a bit difficult, to be unguarded like this.
Tightening his own hold around Y/N, he nuzzles his face into her hair and the crook of her neck, as if he’s trying to hide away from the world. He sighs into her hold, taking in her embrace, feeling a solace in Y/N that he had never felt before with anyone. Not with any of his “family,” past relationships, other friends, no one. It confused him, adding to the bewilderment of why something in him wanted to reach out to her in the first place. But ultimately, Duncan was more than thankful to his own self for making the decision to come see her.
~
Duncan was still perplexed at how Y/N had managed to calm him down. He seemed to be breaking down earlier when starting to shout at her a bit. The day’s events were starting to overcome him. But once he had her hold around him, it was like a release, a breath of fresh air for him. He could breathe again, think clearly, felt he was alright and cared for.
Y/N lured him to the couch, causing him to sit beside her while she tucked her feet underneath her. She let Duncan take his time with opening up to her.
As he gradually began to open up, he felt more of a relief flooding him, finally letting out everything that had happened. He told her how once actually asking his “mother” where he was from, he knew it was true he was adopted from the way she reacted. It hurt him to know that he had been lied to, but it hurt more when Annette didn’t bother to talk to him.
“She didn’t even fucking say anything to me. She just stormed off to Seth and yelled about wanting to put out the headline of Claire’s fucking abortion. It was like she didn’t even care how it was impacting me, just wanted to get her stupid revenge, or whatever,” Duncan glared, fighting back tears for a minute as he recalled the earlier events of the day.
“You deserve better,” she tells him. “You deserved more respect, and reasoning, more than what you got,” Y/N explains, holding his hand in her lap.
The comforting touch of her hand with his had him hesitating on what to say next. She rubbed soft circles against his skin, her warm-hearted spirit coursing through his mind as he imagined his next move.
Glancing from their hands to her face, he studied her eyes, desperately wanting to know what was going through her mind as all of this unfolded. Her eyes were pure, showcasing an emotion he didn’t know how to interpret.
Even as his eyes flickered around her face, glancing over her lips on more than one occasion, he didn’t know how to read her expression. But he started reading more into his own feelings instead, figuring he should discover what he’s feeling instead of trying to figure her out first.
“I’m sorry this happened to you, in this way,” Y/N added apologetically. “If there’s anything more I can do, let me know. I’ll listen to you all night if I need to.”
Duncan’s eyes glance over her face again for a moment before he forces himself to look away. The kindness in her voice, the beauty she radiated, he had to look away from her in order to not lean over and kiss her. The crave he felt in him, of wanting his lips against hers, it was an unending greediness he realized he had always felt for her but was too afraid to think upon.
“Does this mean I can start campaigning for you to be more liberal now,” Y/N says teasingly.
Duncan laughs a bit, smiling as he looks back at her. “Really? That’s your concern now?”
Y/N grins a bit, “No. I just wanted to make you smile.”
Duncan rolls his eyes, still smiling.
“See, it worked though,” she points, laughing a bit as she looks over at him with a look of fondness. “You have a great smile. It lights up any room,” she breathes out sheepishly.
Duncan’s smile fades a bit, only because her words catch him off guard. The compliment causes his heart to beat faster inside of his chest. “You’re one to talk. Your smile is beautiful, really it’s my favorite thing about you.”
Y/N raises her eyes.
“Well. One of my favorite things about you,” he adds.
Y/N flushes a bit, biting on her lip as she fights her own urge to lean over and kiss him, too.
“I should probably get going,” Duncan says flatly. “I don’t want to take up too much of your night,” he stands, knowing he needs to leave before he does something stupid, like kiss her, considering he really wants to.
Y/N stands up too. “It’s not really a big deal. You’re always welcomed over here,” she explains with a casual tone. She didn’t want Duncan to leave. But she couldn’t show any disappointment or honesty about it. She didn’t know Duncan didn’t want to leave her either.
As Y/N walks him to her door, she crosses her arms as Duncan opens it, but turns back to her.
“Thanks for tonight. I.. really appreciated it,” Duncan tells her sincerely.
Y/N nods, “Of course. I’m here for you, whenever. About whatever.”
Duncan nods too.
He looks over her frame, wishing he could stay longer, wishing she’d ask him to stay, wishing he would just admit the feelings he has for her as he’s starting to accept them as the seconds pass.
As his eyes look over her face, an unintentional smile grows on his face.
“What,” Y/N asks, raising her eyes.
Duncan hesitates, shaking his head. “Nothing. Just.. You’re really great,” he says, looking at her adoringly.
Y/N smiles. “Get home safely. Call me if you need anything.”
Duncan gives a nod. “I will.”
“Good night,” she adds.
Duncan takes a step away, Y/N stepping forward to close the door after she sees him off. But as she looks up at him as he steps back over to her she looks at him confused. Duncan leans over, and smoothly presses his lips to her cheek sweetly.
The simple, innocent touch of his lips against her skin, the feel of his stubble along her, has her heart fluttering in a way she never figured possible.
“Good night, Y/N,” Duncan smiles as he pulls away, a hint of a smirk residing on his face. He steps away, heading for his car, leaving Y/N with prominent rosy cheeks that were impossible to miss, even in the nightfall.
Watching Duncan leave, she knew deep down that the feelings she had for him were far more than just friendly or playful. It worried her as she felt Duncan wouldn’t ever return the same feelings.
But she still couldn’t help but wonder that maybe if she filled the cracks in his heart, he would fill the same cracks in hers too someday.
