i missed u - myg x reader
ex boyfriend yoongi...
lately @desertsunflower00 and i have not been able to shut up about an ex boyfriend!yoongi au so here i am trying to bring it to life :')
please be nice! i haven't written (for fun!) in about a year, but it's been encouraged by my therapist so here we are!
not proofread!
pairings: yoongi x y/n
warnings: feelings + avoiding feelings, exes, angst, smut (sex, making out, dry humping, hickies, unprotected sex, light exhibitionism (sorta?)
word count: 3,000
(also noteworthy: when I started this I didn't think it would be angsty, but it got away from me lol. definitely have an alternate ending in my drafts w a not as happy ending lol but I did my best to give these idiots hope in this one)
Yoongi noticed the goosebumps on your arm caused by the cool air blowing from his car. Without a second thought he adjusted the temperature to make it more comfortable for you.
He also noticed the way your eyes glanced from his face, to the hands gripping the steering wheel, and the back up to his face. With that he couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face.
That was the thing about Yoongi. He noticed everything about you. Even after breaking up with him he wasn't able to erase the way he responded to you - or the way he knew you.
You sighed, forcing your eyes off of him and back on the road ahead of you. The pink sky was slowly deepening into dark shades of indigo and violet. Your heart squeezed in your chest thinking of the way things had happened with Yoongi.
"I thought I was supposed to be the quiet one," he looked over at you, soft smile on his face. Your leg continued to bounce in nervousness.
"I'm just thinking," you hope that would satisfy him enough, but just as well of Yoongi knew you - you knew him.
You knew Yoongi probably better than you knew anyone else. Yourself included some may argue.
"Hm," he hummed unimpressed with your response. "Do you want me to take you back home? If you don't want to -"
"No!" you cut him off, looking back over at him. "I want this. I missed you," you admitted. You felt your face warm and you hoped Yoongi didn't notice the nervousness coming from you.
But of course he did.
His eyes met yours for what felt like an entire minute. A million things unsaid in his gaze.
A million things you weren't sure if you were ready to hear.
But he knew that.
Instead of saying all the things he wished he could, he let out a breath he had been holding and steered the car in a different direction.
You knew the way to his house - which is where you thought you were headed - but this wasn't it.
"Where are we going?" you question, watching the tall trees as you pass by.
"We need to talk - really talk," he looked at you when he emphasized the words, "and I can't do that if I'm driving so," he points his chin forward, showing you were approaching the lake nearby. "We're making a pit stop," he smiled your favorite smile. The smile that made his eyes crinkle and his gums show proudly.
He stopped the car after parking it to perfectly face the waterfront. The remaining sun shimmered off the water. Families at the playground were packing up their things and loading their kids in minivans.
"Really talk?" you shift in your seat to face him. "What does that mean?"
"Well," he slowly reached forward and used the knuckle of his index to lift your chin to meet his deep gaze. "When you texted me earlier and said you missed me and wanted to see me..." he let the question hang in the air for a moment, taking in every detail of your face.
"What did that mean?" he finished his sentence.
Was he regretting this? You shouldn't have reached out. Maybe you should have listened to the little voice in your head - he didn't want the same thing you did.
"I do miss you and I wanted to see you." you scanned his face for any sign that he didn't actually want this as much as you.
"Right," he nodded, "But since you got in my car you've acted like I'm some stranger," he chuckled, "It's just me, Y/N."
"Did you miss me?" the question leaves your lips before you can even think to stop it.
"I don't think I'll ever stop." he spoke the words with such reverent force it makes your heart still for a second.
It's your turn to nod - agreeing with all the unspoken words between you.
With as small as the interior of his car is, you still feel him too far away. He's less than a foot away and yet the small distance feels miles long.
"I don't think much has changed," you admit - your mind racing at all the possibilities if you were to try again with Yoongi. Would it even work? Why was your mind already there? You were here with him now. Just... catching up.
"Well, my hairs gotten longer," he joked trying to ease you. He tugs at his new length. His dark looked so inviting at this length. You fought the urge to reach across and card your fingers through it.
Thick dark hair, slightly curing inward at the nape of his neck. It was probably long enough to pull up into a little bun if he wanted.
"I like it," and the urge won - your hand reaches over and caress his locks.
Yoongi halts - letting you touch him. It was the first time you've touched him since you walked away from him over a month ago.
Had it only been a month? Being without him for that long had felt so much longer.
Yoongi grabbed your wrist before you can pull your hand away from him and brings it up to his lips, softly kissing your knuckles.
"You know we don't have to have any answers right now..." he slowly lowered your hand, but continued to hold it - intertwining his fingers with yours. That brought back so many memories.
Locking hands under blankets during movie nights. Secret hand holding under dinner tables. His hand firmly guiding you through crowded streets.
His hands intertwined with yours while his face was buried between your legs.
"I just mean..." his thumb rubbed over the back of your hand in the most soothing pattern, "Let's take it one step at a time okay. This doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to mean."
"Okay," you sigh trying to relax against his leather seat. It was what you wanted to hear, right? It didn't have to mean anything. It could just be.
It could just be you and him.
No expectations. No promises. Just now.
You let out a deep breath again, looking down at his hand holding yours.
"Does that mean we can go to your place now. To do something other than talk..."
That makes him fill the car with the sweet sound of his laughter. Low, raspy, laughter that sends a message right to your core.
You can't help but adoringly roll your eyes at his response. That eye roll made him know you felt more comfortable than when he picked you up. He could almost feel the bleak tension dissolve and be replaced with a different type of tension.
The type of tension that made him stir in his seat.
Yoongi reaches over to cup your face, pulling you in closer. Gently closing the space between you both. Seconds before he presses his lips to yours, his eyes look into yours again wanting to give you all the answers you wanted.
And with that, his pink lips pressed against yours. Gently at first. Testing the waters, kissing you so softly it almost pained you.
And then he does it again, but this time with so much more force. His kiss makes you gasp against his mouth - his lips taking claim over yours. His silky tongue traced your lips until your tongue met his.
All too soon he pulled away. His cheeks were stained pink and his lips were puffy from the force of your kiss. Yoongi's eyes held a devilish glint in them as he pulled back - knowing he left you wanting more.
"I don't think I can make it all the way back home now," he glanced down at the hardening bulge in his black jeans. You could barely make it out now that the sun had set.
The street lamp beside Yoongi's car set a soft glow to everything. The deep waters now a deep shade of black, reflected back the moons radiance.
You glanced around the lake and take in the stillness of it all. The quiet chirp of crickets somewhere in the grassy sedges. The low hum of Yoongi's engine. His soft breath fanning your face. His fingertips tenderly brushing over your lips.
You placed your hand on his crotch feeling him hardening under his jeans.
"Yoongi," your voice came out whiner than you expected. It was also the first time he heard you call his name since things ended. That did something to him he didn't quite know how to describe. But he swore he felt his heart (and his cock) grow three times in size.
"I want you so bad." The soft lighting pouring into the car made his smooth skin appear even clearer and glassier. You wanted to press your lips all over his face. Cover him in berry stained lipstick marks.
He nodded his head slightly pulling away from you to be able to shift the car into reverse. Before he could place his hand on the gear, you wrapped yours around his wrist, shaking your head 'no.'
"Here," you bit your lower lip, glancing out at the empty lake. "No one's here. No one's gonna see us," you urge, bringing his hand to your thigh.
Before he can say another word, you press your lips to his, mumbling an almost incoherent, "I can't wait," against his mouth.
"Fuck," Yoongi groaned into the kiss. "Want you too, baby."
Yoongi doesn't mean for the word to slip out, but it does.
It is messy and a little clumsy - much like how your relationship had been. But it's also what makes you and Yoongi so special to each other. There was no need for pretenses of perfection.
He scooted his seat back giving you enough room to climb over the console and into the safety of his lap. His large hands found their home along your lower back; they slipped themselves into your shirt, feeling your smooth skin all the way up to your bra strap and then back down, gripping your hips. "Y/N," he sighed, into your mouth as you grind your hips down on him.
"Let's get these off." he reached into your skirt to find your soaked panties. His long fingers traced along the wet patch you've left on them from grinding on his lap. "So wet," he mumbled almost to himself.
Lifting your hips to help him, he expertly slid them down your legs, helping you get them off. He tossed them aside before placing you back down on his lap, the steering wheel pressing into your back while he slid his hand up your thigh. Dragging each finger over the smooth surface until he was met with your wet folds. "I need to fuck you," he choked out and smashed your lips with an urgent kiss.
You let him fumble with his pants until he is able to free his leaking cock. You wished there were more light in the dim car to be able to indulge in seeing it again. The thick veins along the flushed pink shaft, the prominent head, now leaking with precum. You wanted to take it all in.
Yoongi grabbed his length in his hand guiding you as you align yourself with him. He stroke his cock along your pussy, teasingly tapping it against your clit a couple of times.
"Yoongi, please," you whined at the sudden contact, "I need you,"
"I know, baby," he shushed you, pulling you in for another kiss. He caught your lower lip between his teeth, tugging on it gently before slipping his tongue in your mouth. He grabbed your hips and pulled you in closer and you slowly sank down on his aching cock.
You winced at the stretch of his head pushing inside of you. Your arms grabbed on to the headrest behind his head and gripped it tightly as his cock stretched you open.
"Fuck," the word slipped out of your lips against his hot mouth as you felt the fullness of having his cock inside you again.
"You okay?" Yoongi pulled back and scanned your face.
"Mhm," you nodded your head. "It's just so... big," you let out a weak chuckle.
He rubbed circles along your back until his hands found their way to grip your ass.
You began to lift your hips and rocked your body on him. His large hands caught your movements as you ground yourself down on his length. Slowly at first, but quickly picking up momentum you started to ride him.
Completely feeling lost in the bliss of having so close - a part of you wished the skin of your chest could touch his. Everywhere he touched you felt like a familiar flame licking away at the time spent apart.
Like he wanted his hands to erase every minute he spent away from you.
He found his way further into your shirt, cupping your breasts in his hold. His thumbs finding your erect nipples as you bounced up and down his shaft.
The sounds of the chirping crickets and low hum of his engine - sounds that felt so loud in the stillness of the evening were now drowned out by something much more titillating.
Your breathy moans and his low groans were creating a symphony of pleasure - in that moment he swore he'd write a song someday about just how good it felt to have you in his embrace.
"Yoongi," you choked out, your legs trembled beneath you.
"Let me hear you, baby," he said into your ear, peppering sweet, wet kisses along your neck. "Who's making you feel this good?"
"You..." you tilted your head back providing more access to your neck. He sank his teeth into your skin, making you hiss in pleasure.
"You... you're making me feel so good. No one else..." you babbled as he sucked on the most delicate part of your neck.
The spot on your neck that made your thighs squeeze together - but he knew that. He knew every spot that made your heart race.
"No one else, hm?" that smug smile spread across his face again. You wanted nothing more than to kiss it off of him.
He noticed your hands gripping the back of his headrest and frowned. He grabbed your wrist and placed your hands in his hair. His eyes silently begged and you complied.
You tangled your fingers in his dark locks and tugged at the root of his long hair as you chased your orgasm.
Yoongi's moan mixed with yours as you pulled on his hair the closer you got to cumming on his cock.
"Keep going, you're doing so well..." his eyes rolled back and his hands gripped on to your hips tightly. You sensed the bruise of his fingertips engraving into your skin.
Just another way Yoongi left his mark on you.
But bruises and hickies fade over time - you weren't sure if the mark he made in your heart would ever really go away.
Not when he looked at you like you hung the stars for him. And you would. You'd give him the stars and moon and everything he asked for if he wanted.
"Gonna cum," he groaned, hiding his face in your neck peppering the skin with little kisses, moaning against your collarbone.
He felt your nails dig into his shoulders as you came undone along with him. Your fluids mixed as he filled your cunt with his cum. You collapsed forward onto him, resting your head on his shoulder as he held you. Your legs twitched as your orgasm hit.
Yoongi held you until your breathing returned to normal. He idly rubbed up and down your back, softly kissing your temples every now and then whispering sweet praises to you.
"I don't wanna move," you mumbled, your eyes closed just listening to Yoongi's soft, even breaths.
"Then don't move," he brushed his hands over your cheek. "Just stay like this with me."
You let out a tired laugh - could it really be that easy? To stay with him?
You knew there was so much that was still left unsaid.
"I should go home," you sat up straighter on his lap to take a good look at him. You hated how it felt like another goodbye.
"Y/N."
You shook your head and started to lift yourself off of him. you both winced at the feeling of his cock leaving your pussy. Yoongi did his best to help get you clean, wiping up your thighs, silently cleaning you up before you crawled back to your seat.
"Are you regretting it?" his lips were set in a straight line and his tone shot an arrow to your chest. The last thing you wanted was to hurt him.
"What?" you met his fixed look, trying to read behind the hardness in his eyes.
He lifted an eyebrow waiting for your answer. He didn't bother repeating the question he knew you heard.
"No," you reached for his hand, using both of yours to cup one of his. "Just... not knowing what happens next makes it feel like goodbye again and... I don't think I'm ready for that," you admit.
His eyes soften hearing you admit you don't want to say goodbye to him again.
You didn't know if a relationship with Yoongi would work out or not at this time. Really, what growth could have happened in the month apart to make him ready?
"One step at a time, okay?" he reminded you gently.
You nodded your head, allowing him to pull you back into another kiss.
"I wanna be someone you deserve," he whispered against your mouth.
Every part of you wanted to ignore the ways he had fucked up in the past and tell him it was all okay - but you couldn't lie to yourself or him. You both needed time.
"One step at a time," you repeated those words to him before kissing him back again.
--
THANK YOU FOR READING! was vry nervous to post bc I haven't done it in so long, but this was really fun to write! I didn't realize how much I missed it and ofc I feel so rusty so I hope you enjoyed <3
tagging some of my fav creators on here: @gimmethatagustd @raplinesmoon @wonhosmistress
(also pls lmk if you don't wanna be tagged! last time I posted I was in a writing network and it was shut down so now idk what the etiquette for sharing/tagging is im sorry fdkgjd ily I haven't been on here in a while but can't wait to catch up/re-read some of my fav fics too)
