#dungeonmasterbater

[kataclystic]

whos the cutest blogger u follow??

You can’t be serious! I can’t possibly give one blog! 

dungeonmasterbater (She’s a real cutie! Her face and fashion sense are cute and totally on point Nonnie. And shes really sweet! Has amazing music taste and I know I can count on her if I ever needed someone! Go follow her blog!) 

theravingcelt (He posts enough selfies, so you never forget just how much the Gods have blessed his everything. He’s really brilliant! And always has something really interested posted on his blog. I’ve learned a lot since we became mutual’s. Totally follow him, you won’t regret it!) 

masterofstars: (He’s totally cute and always has really cool hair styles and colors in it and I’m jelly that he can pull it off! Plus he’s a really talented writer, total sweet heart and always up for keeping me busy when I’m bored. He’s a good person, he honestly doesn’t get enough credit for it. And you better go follow him Nonnie.) 

these are just a few blogs of people I’ve come to be really well acquainted with and whom I feel need more attention. 

[smilesandvials]

8? :)

What was your biggest achievement of the year?I don't know that it was one thing in particular but maybe the process of my research and that ongoing journey. Basically, our lab used specialize in another polymer but my professor wanted to try some work on one we'd never worked with. So, I set up interviews with other professors and read a lot of journal articles and ordered the materials and that has all gone shockingly well, especially because I found out later from a textbook that this particular polymer is "notoriously hard to work with." 

[smilesandvials]

Geese a-Laying

Six quirksI don't imagine myself as a quirky person. Hm.1. Blue hair? Hair dyeing all the time.2. Play with candles while they're burning which is not good for my candles. 3. I hate burrito ends.4. Eat shredded cheese out of bowls as a snack...a lot.5. Glitter eyeshadow regardless of how fancy where I'm going is.6. Tend to make up words or murder existing ones, such as asking my roommate what she was making for brookfassen. Breakfast.

[kataclystic]

dungeonmasterbater

Lol, that's legit when people decide to give out their last posts before heading off. So it's really active and come 10:00 it's all dead. 

and now it's 12:41 at night and I'm getting late night tumblr posts already XD

[kataclystic]

dungeonmasterbater

Haha, thanks! I kinda don't really care if people do unfollow, it's whatever. Up until now no one seems to be bothered by it, so it's all good *shrugs* 

:3 Besides, so long as the rad people like you stick around, I'm perfectly fine with others leaving. 

[kataclystic]

dungeonmasterbater

So... I was planning on pulling an all nighter for my assignments and I went to buy a monster and some gum... and i meet a guy while waiting in line ('cause apparently the cash register ran out of money -they don't keep as much money at night than they do in the day; due to it getting robbed all the time- *snort*) and he sees my band tea and he's like "Oh man, you like Brand New?" And I'm all like "Hellz yeah, dude!" and we're waiting for the cashier and we talk about their music and I see that he keeps squinting his eyes and me being the very paranoid person I am I'm ask "is there something on my face?" and he shakes his head and tells me I have nice coloured eyes and I kinda chuckle and say "Thanks, they're just coloured contacts though." And for some reason that pisses him off and he's like "What a let down, you looked really cute." and at this point you can just see he's upset because he moves away and turns his back to me like our convo is over and then he turns around and says "You really shouldn't go around making guys like you for fake reasons." 

And I'm so confused I just say "What?" and he just goes off, "Don't act like you don't know guys would think you attractive if you changes bits of yourself. I bet you like getting compliments for your lies." And something I really am not okay is guys pretty much calling me out on the spot... like I dealt with that in middle school... and I became bulimic... I still struggle with that shit... and my entire identity is skewed, so I struggle with accepting myself and I really haven't felt like I ever fit in... so I just stick to myself and keeping quiet... and this guy acted as if I'd been lying to him his whole life, like i did it diliberately to piss him off... 

In reality I've been wearing coloured contacts because I don't like my natural eye colour and because my eye-doctor said they'd go well with my prom dress (I've been wearing them for over a year now, I got them specifically for prom)... and I did like being complimented... I  really did... Iiked feeling pretty and appreciated like all the other girls in my highschool who were skinny and tanned and have fat in all the right places... 

so to be accepted, fuck yeah I did it for the comments... and when he said that I did it for that... it struck a chord, because I realized a part of me did do it for the attention... but then I realized... my mum spent 800 dollars on a years worth of these contacts, and they're prescribed for my horrid eye sight and what the fuck is wrong with wanting to feel beautiful?

So I just lost my shit and I tell him, "So what? So what if I like wearing coloured contacts to make me feel pretty?! What gives you the fucking right to call me a liar, I told you right off the bat they were fake and I could have lied and said they were my natural eye colour. Shut the fuck up! Just shut up! I don't owe you anything, you and I talked to each other off our own free will. So you can go piss off and die!" and I just left everything on the counter and ran home... because the guy really was upset over it... 

I rarely get such negative responses... 

I mean, last week I had a guy ask the same thing and he said "Oh, you nearly got me! Man, you would have been pretty." like wtf... you're basing my quality of beauty over eye color? who the fuck is more superficial here?! 

I'm just so done... So done with guys approaching me solely based on the color of my eyes... 

If I take them off no one even stops and stares, but if I have them in I always get at least one comment on how nice I look that day... 

and it both pissed me off and makes me feel worthy of something... and I already told my mum I'd be buying glasses because I'm just done with struggling with feeling pretty... 

Besides, sooner or later I'm going to run out and my sight get's worse each year (I think i'll be legally blind by the time I'm in my late twenties *shrugs* so the doc says)... and they don't make color contacts for my poor sight anymore... 

Gotta deal with reality sooner or later y'know?

But yeah... I ran home and I was shaking because I was both sad and scared by the reaction and occurrence... 

it's really nothing... just stupid people I guess... 

I just took the long rant response ^-^ sorry...

[stsathyre]

toshkathemarowak replied to your post: People keep bringing me plums and not ...

That’s a beautiful thing though. I love it when people bring me food (even though I’m allergic to so much that I often have to pass it back off)

dungeonmasterbater replied to your post: People keep bringing me plums and not ...

Plums go out of season in October, I think. Maybe they own a plum tree and are giving away the extras because otherwise they’d go bad.

The reason it strikes me as odd is because throughout my combined 9 years at my current work place, no one has ever brought in plums. Now suddenly, people are just randomly appearing with plum trees I've never heard of.

I do enjoy receiving food gifts. It's very heartwarming.

[kataclystic]

dungeonmasterbater

AWE! You're so sweet! I probably overreacted though XD But it really is a good anime... despite it being considered a yaoi... there's no actual anything of the sort... except for like one small scene in the actual manga... but it wasn't a big deal... 

I'm just glad I found it! 

And thank you :3 

Also! 

I saw your posts about what your mum said and gave you... It's not my place to say anything but, unless you feel you absolutely should change your physical aspect you should try to embrace your body. There's definitely nothing wrong with wanting to reach a certain body image, so long as it's healthy and realistic. 

You are a very beautiful person and I know things can get rough and even when parental figures try to encourage you to try and change yourself, you shouldn't do it for anyone but yourself... 

And it's late.... I should probably go to bed... I have work in the morning ^-^'