Apr 20, 2020
Preta
What dogs have you lain to rest
To warn me of letting them lie?
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Preta
What dogs have you lain to rest
To warn me of letting them lie?
Exulansis
“I am young, I am twenty years old; yet I know nothing of life but despair, death, fear, and fatuous superficiality cast over an abyss of sorrow. I see how peoples are set against one another, and in silence, unknowingly, foolishly, obediently, innocently slay one another. I see that the keenest brains of the world invent weapons and words to make it yet more refined and enduring. And all men of my age, here and over there, throughout the whole world see these things; all my generation is experiencing these things with me. What would our fathers do if we suddenly stood up and came before them and proffered our account? What do they expect of us if a time ever comes when the war is over? Through the years our business has been killing;—it was our first calling in life. Our knowledge of life is limited to death. What will happen afterwards? And what shall come out of us?”
--All Quiet On the Western Front: Erich Maria Remarque
“I thought it interesting, you know.”
“What?”
“That they could photograph death, like that.”
“Albert...Albert, it was a photograph - just a picture of a plane. Just a burning, crashing plane.”
“Hmm, but isn’t that what death is?”
“I...guess so.”
“I don’t understand it, Ellie. I can’t.”
“Don’t understand what, Puca?”
“Don’t call me that -”
“But-”
“You know what it means, don’t you? You know why you chose that name, don’t you?”
“Albert I-”
“How could you do it? How could you just capture it? How could you just immortalize the dying of the world?”
In which a character and I have a long discussion about death, among other things. It is the first time one has ever been angry with me on their own death. He wants to live, more than the others. He is fighting for his life, for his right to live.
Oh, the weight and sins of playing creator.
Fifteen years for fifteen hours
You thought the world at your feet.
But your reflection stares back
The void and the black
And it suddenly feels like defeat.