So I really need some help...
If you don’t know, I have been in two serious car accidents in the past 4 months and it has left me a little frazzled at the very least. While recovering from the 2nd accident has been going MUCH MUCH better than the first I have been having a pretty serious time being a passenger in the car.
After the first accident was a 3 time roll over (with stelacestine), it took me 3 weeks to get back into my car and drive. Even then I only did it because I needed to go to work. After I got into my car and got comfortable with it again though I was fine. I can remember fondly the weeks after the first accident when I would freak out in the car because of my mother’s (in my opinion) poor driving skills. But my “Please. Don’t. Please. Don’t. Please. Don’t.”s is NOTHING compared to how I have been reacting since after the 2nd accident.
The 2nd accident was 2 weeks ago and was a head on collision with a woman who didn’t understand how to road on a particularly winding, hilly, narrow, road. I thought I was alright after the accident but I just got worse and worse and even though now I am just starting to get better physically; I have been in a car as few times as I can count on both my hands. I really really really do not like being in a car. Things I have been observing myself doing are things like; Thinking the other car is going to hit us, closing my eyes and having my heart jump when I think this, tensing up when this happens as well and just like preparing for the hit. Once it was so bad my chest got really tight and my mind went blank and I couldn’t breath and I started sobbing. I was pretty sure that I was going to die at that moment, it was horrible.
I haven’t had as serious of reactions since that one time but today my mom asked me; “Is it that you are scared to drive or that you don’t want to?” and I didn’t fully comprehend what we was trying to get at. For me it’s that because I am scared to drive I don’t drive. I don’t really know what to tell her other than that. So I am feeling the need for help because I know I need to get back into a car because it would be very very unreasonable of me to just go on having my friends and parents tote me around places. But the only physiologist that will be able to see me and accept leans from my case from my attorney is only able to see me for the first time in June. So... I really need some help trying to get back into it way WAY before that. Not to mention that I will be leaving for NYC in July and it wouldn’t even matter after that. I would have no need to drive in NYC...