#dwarf rave

[ardinwriter]

Bilbo should definitely be glad that Gandalf told the dwarves there was food and plenty of it.

Just imagine the state of his pantry all those months later if there had been any food left.

[freed-finch]

The Skype Thing I Regret

[12:16:33 AM] Ash: you're reading a fanfic [12:16:36 AM] Ash: let me tell you a fanfic [12:16:43 AM] Ash: once upon a time there was a cat named java [12:16:49 AM] Ash: java was the cat of bilbo [12:16:52 AM] Ash: or no wait [12:16:54 AM] Ash: ori? [12:16:57 AM] Ash: or whatever [12:16:58 AM] Ash: anyways [12:17:01 AM] Ash: one day [12:17:32 AM] Ash: ori [12:17:42 AM] Ash: and java were just kind of sitting around and shit [12:17:45 AM] Ash: and then like [12:17:49 AM] Ash: gandalf came in [12:17:50 AM] Ash: and was all [12:17:57 AM] Ash: 'man we gotta plan a dwarf rave' [12:18:07 AM] Ash: and so he and ori started planning [12:18:10 AM] Ash: cuz he and ori are bros [12:18:30 AM] Ash: and then java wandered off and found bilbo and was like 'mewo moew meow godam thats hard to spell at night' [12:18:43 AM] Ash: and bilbo was all like 'oh waht ac ute cat' pets pets pets [12:18:53 AM] Ash: and java was like 'yeah pet me im an attention hog' [12:19:16 AM] Ash: and then ori came in like hweres his cat gone off to and there was bilbo and ori was like yo sup and bilbo was like where are the quotes and ori was like damn im tired [12:20:26 AM] Ash: and so then bilbo was like 'so man dwarf rave right' [12:20:36 AM] Ash: and he was like 'yep all the boys are comi over' [12:20:39 AM] Ash: *coming [12:20:47 AM] Ash: and bilbo was like 'well we better make food' [12:21:00 AM] Ash: and ori was like 'yeah get yourself to the kitchen' and threw him [12:21:21 AM] Ash: so bilbo was like all cooking in the kitchen and java was in there getting hair everywhere [12:21:33 AM] Ash: and gandalf was off in thebathroom doin magic shit [12:21:46 AM] Ash: and ori was all sittin by the door [12:22:01 AM] Ash: and he looks out and is all 'OH HEY THE BOYS ARE HERE' [12:22:15 AM] Ash: So in comes Thorin all like 'bitch i got glowsticks' [12:22:29 AM] Ash: and Ori's all 'good for you! share' [12:22:35 AM] Ash: so they start going through the goods [12:22:44 AM] Ash: and then Fili and Kili come in holding hands and being cute as f*ck [12:22:56 AM] Ash: and bilbo's just back there working his ass off [12:23:06 AM] Ash: and java gets all up in his face [12:23:09 AM] Ash: and gandalf wipes [12:23:14 AM] Ash: with magic [12:23:19 AM] Ash: he's CHARMIN [12:23:22 AM] Ash: get it like a charm [12:23:24 AM] Ash: like a spell [12:23:26 AM] Ash: he uses charmin [12:23:28 AM] Ash: okay [12:23:50 AM] Ash: Oin comes in and is all 'my name is oin' [12:24:13 AM] Ash: 'k' says java as she comes to investigate, oin..k...oink 'THE PIG MAN' she declares and launches herself at his face [12:24:31 AM] Ash: gloin comes in too and is like 'i brought sparklers' [12:24:43 AM] Ash: and bilbo yells from the kitchen 'NU-UH BOY THOSE BE FIRE HAZARDS' [12:24:46 AM] Ash: so gloin sulks [12:25:01 AM] Ash: and gandalf comes out of the bathroom and is all like ' so we are stil missing ppl' [12:25:19 AM] Ash: dwalin and balin come in and are like 'DUDE WE'RE BALLIN' [12:26:14 AM] Ash: Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, and Katie all come in next [12:26:20 AM] Ash: and they're like 'we found a human' [12:26:27 AM] Ash: and gandalf's like 'bring it here ' [12:26:33 AM] Ash: and they're like 'k bro' [12:27:13 AM] Ash: and so all the dwarves set up the litle dark rave room and katie goes toget java like 'why you wanderin into fandoms stupid' and java's like 'mommy look i found lots of people to love me' [12:27:29 AM] Ash: and gandalf sets up the dj station cuz he's djing [12:27:35 AM] Ash: and the dwarves are ravin [12:27:46 AM] Ash: and bilbo brings snacks and they all get gay all over the place [12:27:51 AM] Ash: and katie just watches with java [12:27:53 AM] Ash: the end