도영 004
It’s Doyoung’s house and yet he’s late. Sanghoon watches the nanny rush the boy in, bowing profusely in an apology that Sanghoon doesn’t need. He stays seated in the armchair, a thought coming to mind. The past couple of times they’ve met, Doyoung has been accompanied by either his nanny or his father’s assistant? Advisor? Sanghoon’s curiosity is at its peak and he has a question for the older woman. Who wrings her hands together after he’s asked her to stay for a moment, letting Doyoung poke at the chessboard on the table with his own curious hands.
“Where is his mother?” Sanghoon asks quietly. And why do you look terrified?
The nanny wrings her hands together again, she never stops tugging on her fingers, actually, something Sanghoon notices as he waits for an answer. She looks worried, maybe she doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and give off the wrong impression. She shouldn’t worry though, he would never make an assumption about someone without looking into their eyes. Sanghoon hasn’t met Doyoung’s mother yet.
“She went shopping, she’s typically home in time for dinner, don’t misunderstand, Mrs. Lim is a good mother, she’s just —“
“I never said anything about her being a bad mother.” Watching this old woman worry herself over her choice of words amuses him, he quickly feels pity for her and holds out a hand, please stop. Her stammering to clean up whatever she was implying isn’t needed. Shopping isn’t a crime, stealing is. She walks over to Doyoung and smooths her hand over his inky hair. “I’ll come back to fetch you when you’re done, Doyoung-ah.” The boy more or less ignores her, the subtle nod of his head the only giveaway that he heard her.
—
“Have you ever seen one of these before?” Sanghoon asks once they’re alone again, the boy has moved pieces around a little and Sanghoon scoots them back in place as he waits for Doyoung’s answer. “It’s called a chess board, chess is a fun game. I think I might have been your age when my grandfather taught me how to play.” Days in the hospital felt so long until the familiar face with the creases in his eyes would pop in and make a young Sanghoon’s day more bearable. They would play until visiting hours were over and grandpa would promise to come around the home more often once Sanghoon was discharged. “Would you like me to teach you?”
Doyoung nods. Sanghoon makes a mental note to write down the lack of verbalization he has. Doyoung can talk, Doyoung can use his words, Sanghoon knows that, he’s heard the boy speak; only when he absolutely has to, the doctor has noticed. Every time they meet Sanghoon notices something new when it comes to the young boy. Today he learns that he’s an incredibly fast learner, getting the grasp on chess fairly quickly.
“You know… the more you play, the better you’ll get and you’ll win,” Sanghoon says after moving his Pawn, he’s taking it easy on the boy. Who lights up at the mention of ‘winning.’ Interesting.
“Do you like winning, Doyoung?”
Doyoung nods eagerly, sitting up a little bit straighter. They continue to play, Sanghoon teaching Doyoung tips and tricks he’s learned over the years. It’s down to Sanghoon’s Rook to Doyoung’s King. Sanghoon doesn’t take mercy on the novice players at the park, losing is the only way you can learn to play better in his mind. Sanghoon doesn’t take who he’s dealing with into account when he traps the King at the edge of the board, easily getting a checkmate and winning. Grinning to himself he sits back in his seat.
“Checkmate.”
Doyoung blinks owlishly at Sanghoon, a pink coloring his cheeks as he looks at the King piece on it’s side. “I lost?”
Sanghoon nods, opening his mouth to speak, he wants to tell Sanghoon it’s okay, that he’s still learning. He also lost the first game of chess he ever played, that practice makes you a better player. He doesn’t get that chance though.
Doyoung screams, catching Sanghoon off guard as he flips the table between them, sending chess pieces flying, gaining the attention of the people outside the room. The Advisor barges in, staring between a sitting yet perplexed Sanghoon and a standing, livid Doyoung who lunges at the psychiatrist, launching into his lap he attempts to wrap his hands around Sanghoon’s neck, the colliding force against his adam’s apple makes him cough in pain as his mind catches up to what’s happening.
The Advisor snatches a kicking and screaming Doyoung, Sanghoon coughing as he tries to catch his breath. Doyoung is a very sore loser and Sanghoon reaches for his pen, jotting down what transpired with a trembling hand. He’s never been strangled before, and he’s spoken to prisoners who have done worse to people, the glass wall a transparent protector as Sanghoon interviewed them for his research while he was in school.
Sanghoon isn’t afraid of Doyoung, this is only the beginning.
“I’m okay, I’m okay.” He insists, motioning for The Advisor to put a squirming Doyoung down. “He’s not going to hurt me, are you Doyoung?” Sanghoon asks in a controlled voice, keeping eye contact with the boy. Whether it’s a lie or not, Doyoung nods and The Advisor puts him down slowly, getting on his knees he takes the boy’s arms, “why did you do that?!” He scolds, shaking him with his words. Sanghoon realizes he needs to remember this as vividly as he can for his notes. This session was far from a breakthrough, Sanghoon isn’t a quitter though. A simple scolding isn’t going to stop Doyoung from hurting people and Sanghoon wants to say that but he stays mum until the boy has been ushered away. They still had twenty minutes left in the session but he won’t mention that. Sanghoon also notices that The Advisor never instructed Doyoung to apologize to him. Which isn’t needed but it’s interesting enough to the doctor to keep note.
“I am so sorry,” The Advisor implores as Sanghoon cleans up. He lets out a short laugh as he stands up straight, looking at the other. “It’s fine. The chess set is cheap, don’t worry.” That wasn’t what he was referring to and Sanghoon lets out another laugh. “Oh, Doyoung? Well, isn’t that what I’m here for?”
‘Better me than his sister’ Sanghoon thinks darkly.
“You don’t understand… you’re the third person we’ve had to come try and fix him.” The Advisor admits shamefully.
Being left in the dark about things is something Sanghoon is learning to expect when he’s there. This is something they should have told him weeks ago, this is something his boss should have told him when he called him about this case.
“You’re our last hope, his parents have been looking at behavioral centers overseas, there is a program for kids in America they’ve been eyeing ‒”
“I never said I was quitting.” Sanghoon cuts in, taking in the way relief washes over The Advisor.
“Thank you, Doctor. We truly appreciate you trying to help little Doyoung, he was such a sweet baby, we don’t know what happened…”
He walks fast out of the estate, does bother to conversate with security as he typically does, getting into his car. Sanghoon puts his bag down on the passenger seat, takes off his glasses. His throat still hurts but he screams anyways, resting his forehead against the steering wheel as he tries to put what just happened into a box labeled ‘work’ in his mind to ignore until tomorrow when he makes the same drive back to deal with this all over again.