Where do I even begin...this story was everything I hoped for and more - my girl Astrid getting the attention she deserves and really getting to see into her mind and her relationship with Bren, Eadwulf, and Trent post-graduation. There were so many little moments that just absolutely shattered my heart (I may have cried several times):
Astrid visiting Bren on many occasions during his time in the sanatorium, starting with bringing him clothes and homemade food, and paying for physician herself because she didn't want to believe the doctors at the sanatorium that Bren was beyond help, before finally stopping visiting around 9 years later
Eadwulf stopping visiting him way sooner because he didn't want to remember him like that. There's also a significant moment that links to this where he calls upon the matron of ravens to grant death to an undead person because leaving it between life and death would be cruel to which Astrid asks if that is why he doesn't visit Bren (I'm sobbing)
This exchange just speaks for itself:
Eadwulf and Astrid working together was so fucking cool to read btw I love them
"Still can read each other's minds...They had always been that way, she Wulf and Bren" Blumendrei I have so many thoughts about you.. going from this to seeing Bren again after so many years and not knowing who he is now is so heartbreaking
It's made so clear too that whilst Astrid has Wulf and trusts him to have her back she believes that ultimately all she will ever have is herself, after losing Bren she puts her complete trust in nobody but herself
Astrid's worst memory isn't killing her parents, it's losing Bren
Her trying to scream for Bren as she watches him break
She only ever felt comfortable making jokes around Wulf and Bren, she also says that Bren enjoyed them the most and liked seeing that side of her
Astrid and Eadwulf visiting Blumenthal against Trent's express instructions!!!
Astrid believing that Trent made sure the wreckage of Bren's home wasn't cleared (at this point in time at least) as a warning not to question the cause of it and remind Astrid and Wulf what failure causes (Icky-thong when I get my hands on you)
Astrid wanting her scar from Bren to be visible to remind her of how far she got herself
Trent I hate you so fucking much
"We died that night. All of us. A...a part of me did, at least"
Astrid finding the charred remains of a stuffed teddy in the wreckage of Bren's home...I'm inconsolable
Astrid, upon hearing there was an incident with Bren (his escape) immediately assumes Trent has done something to him
My final point is this section from Astrid's understanding of why Bren broke because it will be seared into my mind forever:
