Day 1076
This evening, while I was trying to decide if I really wanted a sweetie, or just wanted something sweet and tart to offset the briny taste that still lingered from the seafood pasta earlier that night my mind wandered.
@wereah had often bitched about mindful eating, and how it made assumptions about how people registered their hunger and cravings. Mindful eating has gained traction over the last decade or so, as a way to combat the ever present dieting culture. It’s the idea that our body knows best what we need, that if we are mindful of our body sensations we know when we’re hungry and when to stop eating. It is the practice of focusing while you eat, instead of mindlessly eating. An extension of this is also the idea that our bodies know what we need the best and so if we’re craving something that maybe our body needs that need thing.
While I don’t buy into the last part, I do agree with some schools of thought that denying yourself that thing completely will result in over indulging, and that the best method is to add, not take away.
However, I also agree with Were-Ah that mindful eating doesn’t take into account how people who are neurodivergent take in the world around them. Especially for those who can only eat ‘safe’ foods, sometimes when the goal is to just get food into your body, it’s all you can do.
But I also say this because I am also well aware that I eat on a routine.
This is because while I have some capacity to tell myself, I am not hungry, therefore I will not eat. I don’t have as much capacity to tell myself I am hungry, therefore I will eat. If I tell someone (Were-Ah) that I am hungry, so I am going to make food, and then go make it, it means I have enough focus to not ignore my hunger cues and do something about it.
There is a reason why I used to eat really late at night. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel hungry until really late at night, it was me ignoring my hunger cues until I realized I had to make dinner otherwise I wasn’t going to bed until way past midnight. And I would be, very, very, hungry.
That being said, I also tend to not notice my hunger cues until they become very obvious. Like I purposely have a yogurt parfait on the on-site days where I have to stay late around 3:30-4:00 p.m. I’m not necessarily, actually hungry, but I know full well that if I don't eat something then, by the time I finish my shift I will be very, very hungry and will certainly make poor life choices as a result.
The same can be said about breakfast, if it wasn’t part of my routine, I probably wouldn’t eat breakfast. The only reason why it is part of my routine is because I take vitamins, which can be a bit acidic for your stomach if you take them without eating anything.
And that doesn’t even cover the fact that I will eat more if I eat a home style meal (serve yourself) rather than plating my dinner according to my mental nutritional needs and walking away with just that plate (and a bowl of fruit).
Despite this, I do try to be mindful, because there is some valid reasoning to it. Especially now that I have more focus to be somewhat mindful.
But other times, I play the game I played tonight where I was trying to figure out if I wanted strawberries (sweet and mildly tart), an orange (sweet, sour and tart), or a cake pop (which is just sweet).
In the end, I had just that bowl of strawberries and it was all I needed in my life at that moment.
