#ebonykain writes

[ebonykain]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Final Fantasy IV Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kain Highwind & Golbez Characters: Kain Highwind, Golbez (Final Fantasy IV) Additional Tags: Drabble, Body Horror, reference to past non-consensual medical procedures, Past Mind Control, reference to Dr. Lugae, Angst, AU Series: Part 1 of Final Fantasy IV AU Summary:

Part of my AU series. Dr. Lugae's modifications on Kain have lasting effects. Neither Kain nor Golbez want anyone else to know. And the shadow Zemus cast lingers still.

[ebonykain]

For the fic meme: What are your current projects, wips, planned or just "I wanna"s? Ramble! 👀

🥹🩵 yay I got an ask!

Right now I'm taking on a project that's technically been in the works since the 1990s. I re-found a notebook that I had put a bunch of ideas and experiments in writing in that I couldn't submit for grades because they were technically fanfic (though at the time of the earliest ones I didn't know that term) and I didn't want to get accused of plagiarism.

There's a LOT of Final Fantasy IV stuff in it and that's what I decided to try cleaning up, rewriting now that my skills are much more developed.

Mostly the series will be focused around Kain Highwind, my first Blorbo. 😆 I've been putting this man in situations for 30-some odd years. But 99% of them have only ever been in my head.

Kain is a dragoon knight with issues. Starting from he and his best friend being in love with the same woman, and going all the way to being brainwashed by the villain to betray them both.

Kain's interesting because he's the only person from the kingdom of Baron to be confirmed as having been hypnotized/had his will taken over. Many others in Baron either willingly followed Golbez, or were imprisoned and/or killed.

Which I think is part of why Golbez and Kain make such a crunchy ship. For some reason Golbez decided to keep Kain. And not just as another soldier under his thumb, but in a place of significance, by his side at all times unless Kain himself has asked to take on a mission.

So Kain's been spinning in my head like a rotisserie chicken for decades. I've shipped him with Cecil, with Cecil and Rosa, with Golbez, with Vavalis/Barbariccia... And then the n/c ships with Golbez, each of the 4 elemental fiends, Dr Lugae, Baigan, and random monsters.

...also Bahamut. 👀

..... But this fic doesn't have all of those pairings.

I mean. Technically it could, if I were more ambitious and had the energy and free time to match.

But yeah no... This one will have some angsty longing after his besties, some very questionable consent with Golbez, and possibly some very very noncon with bonus mind fuckery (the dead dove will be clearly labeled) with some bad guys. But then after the hurt will come the long and rocky road of healing and comfort for both Kain and Golbez.... Hopefully with an endgame of them getting to embarrass Cecil when he realizes his brother and his best friend are fucking.

*checks notes*

Enthusiastically.

🤭

[ebonykain]

Me, stuck in a weird string of YouTube shorts that all seem to be different isekai anime clips:

hmmm.. What IF .. Nie Huaisang was messing around with some demonic cultivation stuff, determined to find a way to bring back his brother and mend his shattered soul? But he doesn't fully understand what he's doing and manages to bring Nie Mingjue's reincarnation from far enough in the future that his soul is all back in one piece again.

Part of me is like, it makes more sense for the modern-ish soul to wake up in the fierce corpse body.

But consider the original mental image I had: Nie Mingjue in scrubs, sitting bewildered and baffled on the ground in the middle of a discussion conference. Everyone scandalized at how little it looks like he's wearing. 🤣. Someone wanting to pull Lan Xichen out of seclusion to see and Lan Xichen almost getting a nose bleed over how scrubs look on a muscular body and it helps hijack his brain away from the guilt spiral.

[ebonykain]

An idea brought up by watching Victor/Victoria with my roommate. There's a line toward the beginning of the movie about not being able to learn something just by practicing over and over. Later on, as Victoria is getting comfortable as Victor, my roommate commented something like "what was that about not being able to learn anything by practicing?" To which I replied, "she learned a whole new gender!"

And because my mind is the way it is, it suddenly gave me the mental image of Nie Huaisang arguing with Nie Mingjue, claiming that he's just not made for sabre and he'll never get it just by practicing over and over. With Nie Mingjue 's counter argument being that you can learn anything if you practice enough. Giving rise to Nie Huaisang challenging Nie Mingjue to "practice" being another gender, thinking that his argument will inherently prove Nie Mingjue wrong and thus Nie Mingjue will need to give up pushing him to practice sabre.

To his surprise Nie Mingjue accepts the challenge. Stipulating that if he wins, then Nie Huaisang will double down on his training. Nie Huaisang counters that when he wins then he'll never have to practice sabre again.

And in the course of all this Nie Mingjue discovers that the gender your given at birth isn't always who you really are. And going back to "normal" after winning the bet feels anything but. Which presents some problems in the whole being sect leader and interacting with the other sects...

[ebonykain]

Just had a thought. Based on this

Imagine if Nie Huaisang had been only a teensy tiny bit less careful. If Jin Guangyao had realized he was getting hunted, by who, and why. And realizing the trap had been laid so carefully and skillfully that there was no escape. That, in fact, Nie Mingjue was his only salvation. Imagine him diving deep and reckless and desperately into Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang's notes to find some way, any way, to bring Nie Mingjue back as a sentient fierce corpse.

That glimmer of hope despite all reason... After all, even if he were to succeed in putting Da-ge all back together again and with sentience like Wen Ning and Song Lan... Nie Mingjue was completely insane by the end thanks to the Songs of Turmoil and the qi deviation. Would FC!Nie Mingjue be sane? And even if he were, by some miracle of demonic cultivation... Why would he help Jin Guangyao? The man who murdered him slowly and then desecrated his corpse so he wouldn't be able to reincarnate? Why would Jin Guangyao believe that Nie Mingjue might spare his life, let alone save him from Nie Huaisang's vengeance?

Jin Guangyao is hanging all his desperation on the shredding hope that Nie Mingjue wouldn't want to see his brother cross the moral event horizon, and that Nie Huaisang wouldn't want his brother to look at him the same way he used to look at Jin Guangyao just before his death.

[ebonykain]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Niè Huáisāng, Unnamed Nie Sect Cultivators, Niè Míngjué's metaphorical ghost Additional Tags: hereditary qi deviation, hereditary mental illness, the discomfort of watching your political leader decend into madness, Nie Mingjue isn't in this but his presence is heavily felt Summary:

When Nie Huaisang becomes Sect Leader Nie he abandons his own wardrobe to wear his brother's, so he can keep his big brother with him no matter what.

Posting for Nie Mingjue’s birthday because I imagine Nie Huaisang kept track of many anniversary type dates, counting each one again and again as a weight on the scale he used to measure his vengeance against Jin Guangyao.

[ebonykain]

I just really want to read a fix where Nie Mingjue has that Eddie moment from Venom.

Like... He's been steadily getting worse as the qi deviation progresses. His actions and words have been pushing away those he loves most. But instead of stoically thinking he's got to hide it all and be the macho big brother who can handle it all by himself... He actually asks for help. Not necessarily in being saved, I'm pretty sure he's been resigned to his own death since he watched his father take half a year to die back when Nie Mingjue was a teenager, but in maybe not becoming a monster to haunt his loved ones' nightmares. To not hurt anyone.

Just picture it: He's just had a blow up, the rage is slowly fading but whoever he's talking to is still there in the room. They're afraid of him, backing away, and that cuts through the red haze to let that frightened child buried deep inside his heart scream out "I'm scared! I need help," and he's crying but staring at them--maybe it's Nie Huaisang, maybe it's Jin Guangyao about to have a change of heart--terrified that he's already too late, too far gone, too much a monster.

But even though they're afraid too, they find it in themselves to stand their ground, pointing vaguely in the direction of the stables to pull the Anne line because there is no way they are trusting either themselves or Nie Mingjue to fly a sword or saber right now and they just, "Get in the carriage. Right now."

And they're going to go visit Er-ge because... Well. Because. Lan Xichen definitely projects a feeling of being calm and level headed and they could both use that at the moment. And just...

Yeah. That breakdown that lets Nie Mingjue admit his fear, that he does need help. I want to see that.

[ebonykain]

On the commute to work that song “Take Me Home” by Jess Glynn came on… and my brain was just.. Giving me mental visuals… Of Nie Mingjue coming down from the qi deviation after having run out of Koi Tower… he’s covered in blood, dishevelled, dizzy, and confused.  He doesn’t know where he is.  He’s not sure exactly what happened but has the vague sense that he has been fighting.  But he’s alone in the forest.  There are no enemies here.  Who was he fighting?  His head hurts.  He thinks he remembers Nie Huaisang crying.  The real crying, not the histrionics he’s so used to.  He thinks it might have been his fault.  But he’s not sure because he thinks he also remembers Jin Guangyao.  And immediately he’s assaulted by the rage this brings up in him, spurring him to attack the surrounding trees until he exhausts himself again.

And he’s crying on his side on the forest floor, leaves and twigs snarled in his hair.  There’s tears and blood both and he’s lost and confused and angry and afraid.  He’s so terribly afraid.  Did he hurt his brother?  Is Nie Huaisang okay?  Is he safe?  He left him.  He left him there with Jin Guangyao, that’s not safe, he failed, he failed, he failed…

And then there’s a sound behind him and he lunges forward to grab Baxia up and come around swinging.

Shuoyue blocks Baxia just a couple handspans from Lan Xichen’s face.  Nie Mingjue drops Baxia and backs away in horror.  He almost killed Xichen.  He almost killed his best friend.  And he can’t speak, just shaking his head in mute negation, wanting it to all not be true.  Wanting to not have hurt anyone he cares for.  Wanting not to have run away.  Wanting to not have become a rabid beast the way his father had.  Wanting to apologise but unsure how to even make human speech, he simply can’t remember.

Nie Mingjue’s back hits a tree and he slides downward, closinging his eyes against reality.  This is it, it’s all over, and he failed.  There’s no other course but what his ancestors have done for generations…

But Lan Xichen doesn’t raise Shuoyue to put him out of his misery.  He rushes forward to catch Nie Mingjue before he hits the ground instead, holding him as they slowly kneel in the dirt and debris of the forest floor.  Nie Mingue is aware that Lan Xichen is talking to him but he can’t make sense of the words.  He simply clings to his best friend, sobbing, trying to make him understand the inevitable even if he can’t speak it.  It’s time.  It’s over.  He needs to go down to the sabre tombs where he won’t be a danger to anyone else.

But Lan Xichen just holds him, singing softly one of the songs of healing, rocking gently.  Eventually, the tears stop, and Nie Mingjue is left exhausted.  A question is asked of him, but his exhausted and qi-fried mind can’t make sense of it.  He nods anyway.  Whatever Lan Xichen wants, he’ll agree to.  He’s always looked to Xichen for guidance that way.

Lan Xichen pulls Nie Mingjue up, but everything hurts too much, and without the adrenaline of the rage rushing through him he can feel it all fully again.  But it’s okay.  Lan Xichen uses the tree to brace while he scoops Baxia into a qiankun pouch, then lifts Nie Mingjue up into his arms.  He continues to talk to him in a soft voice as he carries him out of the woods.  They aren’t headed back toward Lanling, but toward Qinghe.