Echos of a Hidden Truth a brocedes fanfiction
Chapter Eight: With Him
TW: Teenage Pregnancy
Materlist
Chapter 8
By the time the next race weekend rolled around the world felt even louder.
It was another horrible morning with him and Lewis in the hotel bathroom. He hated the way the bitter and acidic taste clung to his tongue, impossible to swallow away. He’d brushed his teeth more than four times, to get rid of that soreness in his mouth.
For the entire last two weeks the mornings had been hell. Mornings of him and his mom sitting in the bathroom. He vomited into the toilet while his mother sat next to him, ready with a fresh glass of water, holding back his blond locks.
But today it wasn't his mother in the bathroom, today it was Lewis again, who sat next to him.
Together on the floor of their shared hotel bathroom, Lewis held back Nico’s blond hair while he hung over the toilet, giving him kisses on the forehead every now and then. Lewis tried to calm the havoc by whispering calming words into his ear.
Now they were in the car on their way to the track, both in team merch, but Nico decided to take Lewis’s hoodie. Their hoodies were quite similar, exactly the same even, but something was different. Lewis’s smell was all over the hoodie, which calmed Nico while he cuddled himself into it.
When they arrived at the track, Keke looked in the back seat at the boys, who sat directly beside one another, holding hands.
Even though Nico felt a lot better than in the morning he still looked a little sick.
Keke looked at the boys searching for eye contact with his son. His look was full of comfort which gave Nico comfort. Being next to the track again, not being able to drive, made him nervous. “You don't have to stay for the entire day if that's too much Nico, you can go whenever you want to.”
Anthony, who sat next to Keke on the passenger seat also gave Nico a supporting nod, while Lewis squeezed his hand.
“I want to,” Nico replied. “I need to.”
Keke nodded like he already knew that would be Nico's answer. “We will do everything to make sure you are comfortable.”
Keke looked at his son one last time searching for a single sign of discomfort in Nico's eyes, before they left the car together.
When Nico opened the door of the car, the sound of engines and chatter wrapped around him like static. And again the air was filled with the smell of rubber and fuel and again it did not comfort him like it used to do, but again it was a reminder of what he was not allowed to do.
Lewis and Nico walked side by side to the garage, joking around following their dads in front of them who had some conversations about karting. When they reached the garage the team was already waiting for them. “Lewis, focus now. Ten minutes to briefing.”
Nico looked at the team member that reminded him about the briefing just to look back at Nico with a sad face. His eyes asked Nico if everything would be fine.
“Yeah,” Nico said, who was able to read the question in Lewis's eyes. “Go win something.”
Lewis grinned. “Always. I will see you after, yeah?”
As Lewis disappeared into the tent, Nico exhaled slowly. The morning sun pressed against his back. Since his father went in the tent as well together with Anthony, Nico was fully alone again. He felt exposed.
It was not just him imagining it, the heads were turning when he walked past. Whispers carried in the air like wind.
“Is Rosberg out again?” Someone muttered near the fence. “Maybe he is injured.” “Or maybe he lost his seat.”
Lewis clenched his jaw, eyes fixed straight ahead. He knew how people talked. The paddock was like that, it ever was and it will ever be. But it still stung, hearing his name turned into speculation.
But they did not know what prevented him from being part of the race. They did not know he carried around a fetus the size of a raspberry. They would never know.
The race was mostly like the last one. Nico sat on the side track, but still with a good view of what was happening.
He saw Lewis leaning into the corners, seeing Lewis doing what he was also supposed to do. It hurt more than anything ever could.
Not only seeing Lewis on the track Nico was also supposed to race on but also all of the critical look of all of the parents and team members from the other teams.
He just sat there staring onto the karting track before him, he felt like a ghost, it was wrong. The whole situation felt wrong.
He flinched when he felt a strong hand being placed on his shoulder. He turned around, his golden locks in his view as he looked up into the blue eyes of his father, in them there was a calm, steady light that caught him before he could fall, holding everything together.
“Everything ok Nico?” Keke asked, concerned. He looked at the crowd of people who looked at Nico before and were now trying to look everywhere except Nico and his dad. “Ignore them, you don't owe anyone an explanation.”
“I know, Dad,” Nico murmured. “But it feels weird. Everyone’s asking why I am not driving.”
Keke looked at his son. “You know we will think about something.”
And they would have too, because by the time Keke left his son alone again he was approached by one of the local reporters that came to the races.
“Mr. Rosberg,” the man asked, his voice oily smooth. “Is it true your son is stepping back for health reasons? Or is he being replaced?”
Keke's eyes narrowed, calm but firm. “Nico’s taking a temporary break,” he said evenly. “He is under doctor’s orders, but he will be back soon.”
The reporter smiled unsatisfied. “Any Details?"
“No.”
And that was that.
But Nico saw the looks exchanged between Keke and Anthony later, the quiet worry in their faces. This would not stay a secret forever. But they can at least try to keep the secret as long as they can. Nico knew how hard this would be, with the upcoming attention and pressure in the higher categories. The intensifying nosiness of the reporters.
But something inside him knew it would be fine. They would figure something out.
Nico went into the tent where the rest of the team was, he needed a short break from the hectic and the glances outside.
He sat down at the couch in his and Lewis's driver's room, the room was empty except for him, Lewis was probably still in the meeting, talking about strategies for the upcoming race. Nico looked at his phone in his hand, seeing the little screen lighting up, showing a new message.
Chris: You good? everyone is talking about you, I heard you got hurt or something.
Chris and Nico got quite good friends over the years, not as close friends he and Lewis were, but still pretty close. Nico stared at it for a long time before typing a message back.
Nico: I am fine. Just a break. Nothing serious.
He hit send and then put the phone face down on the little coffee table next to him.
The truth was so much bigger than anything he could explain. And so much more fragile. It was moving and had a little hardbeat that made Nico's heart melt.
The ultrasound picture felt heavier in his pocket, he took it everywhere he went, it gave him a reminder and a kind of a safe feeling. It was a reason, a reason to give up carting for a while, a reason to not give up.
He took the wrinkled sheet of paper out of his pocket, looking at the gray blur that changed everything.
A soft knock at the door made him look up. He tried to hide the ultrasound picture as fast as he could, fearing it could be someone, not aware of the medical condition he was currently in.
Nico felt a huge relief, when he saw that Lewis was the one who just slipped in quietly, already changed into his race gear.
“Here you are,” Lewis said, leaning against the doorframe, while closing the door behind him. “I was searching for you outside but I could not find you.”
Nico nodded. “Yeah. Too much noise. Too many looks.”
Lewis crossed the room and sat beside him. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Nico said automatically then sighed. Pulling out the ultrasound picture again. “No. Not really.”
Lewis titled his head. Also looking at the ultrasound, a little smile formed on his face. “Talk to me. I am there for you. You can talk with me about everything, Nic.”
Nico hesitated at first, Lewis had a race to win. He didn't want to burden Lewis with his problems. “It is just… weird, being here and not being part of it. Everyone is asking me questions. It got even worse since last weekend. And I'm afraid what is going to happen in the next few weeks when I'm still not driving.”
Lewis nodded slowly. “I know I hate it too. They ask me as well, even though it's none of their business why you are not driving.”
“They think I am sick or that I messed up, that the team dropped me. It is like I am disappearing from something I worked so hard for.”
Lewis' facial expression softened. He reached out, resting his hand gently on Nico's knee. “You are not disappearing. You are still you.”
Nico swallowed hard. His eyes glued on the picture that he still holds in his hands. “It does not feel like it.”
“Then I will remind you,” Lewis said quietly. Leaving a gentle kiss on Nico's forehead. “Every day, if I have to.”
Something inside Nico cracked at that a mix of gratitude and ache. “You really think I will come back the same?”
“I do not think so,” Lewis said. “I know it. You are an amazing driver Nico, you will come back and you will come back better. We will race together, we will race together in formula one and one day as teammates, no one could stop us.”
The conviction in his voice was steady, unwavering and for a moment, Nico believed it too.
He leaned his head against Lewis's shoulder. “You always make things sound possible.”
Lewis smiled faintly. “Maybe that is because they are.”
They sat like that for a while, the hum of the race track outside and the steady rhythm of Lewis's breathing beside him made Nico almost forget all his fears and concerns. For the moment it was just him, Lewis and their baby.
“My Dad is talking to Keke.” Lewis said softly, “They are starting to come up with a story for everyone.”
Nico straightened slightly. “A story?”
“Something simple. Like a minor back injury. That way no one asks more questions.”
Nico frowned. “That is good.”
“I know,” Lewis said gently.
Nico sighed, nodding slowly. “Okay.”
Lewis smiled, brushing a bit of golden hair from Nico's forehead. “I have a race to win now, Nico. For you and the baby.”
Nico laughed quietly. “Yeah.”
He wondered how long they could keep the truth hidden and how much harder it would get when his body really began to show.
The boys walked out of their driver's room together. They headed up to Lewis's kart that was surrounded by mechanics, ready for him to race.
During the way Nico's hands felt empty and cold and he had the urge to just reach for Lewis's hand. Holding hands while walking through the garage, but that was not possible. That would never be possible. It could destroy their careers and everything would have been for nothing.
Nico watched how Lewis got into the kart, Lewis looked back once before starting the engine, Nico gave him a small nod. The silent kind that meant you've got this.
He knew that Lewis's grin flickered beneath helmet, quick, bright and full of promise, before he shot off down the track.
Nico's pulse rose with every lap. He could not help it, his body remembered the rhythm, the timing, the way adrenaline felt like home.
When Lewis then qualified for pole position, Nico found himself cheering, before he could realize it, clapping hard enough the team laughed.
Anthony appeared next to him, grinning across the garage. “You would think you just won.”
Nico flushed slightly and blamed it on the pregnancy hormones that made him more and more emotional by every day passing by. “Maybe a little.”
Anthony's expression softened, kind of realizing it were the hormones that made Nico so emotional. “He drives a lot better with you around. You know that?”
Nico blinked, caught off guard. “You think so?”
“I know so,” Anthony said. “He is steadier. More focused. Like he has got something to race for. The weekend you just disappeared was horrible even though he won he was unconcentrated and didn't race how he used to.”
That made something warm unfurl in Nico's chest.
Anthony smiled faintly. “You are good for him, Nico. And I will admit I was scared, at first. I am still. But you are both trying. That's more than most adults do.”
Nico looked down blinking fast. "Thank you."
Anthony nodded once. “Now, let's get through that race without another rumor, yeah?”
Nico chuckled. “I will do my best.”
The race itself was everything, it always was fast, loud and alive. Lewis dominated from start to finish, each lap smoother than the last. No fight between the teammates like it used to be.
Nico watched from the sidelines, pride and longing tangled in his chest.
When Lewis finally crossed the finish line first again, the world around him exploded in noise. The team members were cheering the engines rolling and the few cameras flashing.
Keke clapped a hand on Nico's shoulder grinning. “Glad you chose that one to be your boyfriend.” He said so quietly only Nico was able to hear him, his face instantly turned red and he could feel his ears burning.
“Yeah.” Nico said, his hand reached into his pocket, grabbing the ultrasound picture, holding it as if it gave him strength. The picture gave him some kind of recognition.
After the podium, when the crowd started to thin, Lewis found Nico again. He was still in his race suit soaked in champagne, his trophy in his hands.
“You saw?” Lewis asked, still breathless, knowing exactly that Nico watched him winning the race.
“I saw,” Nico said, letting out a little laugh. “You were good. Not as good as me though.”
“Sure Nico, I can not wait to race against you again.” Lewis said, looking at his boyfriend.
Later that day they were back in their shared hotel room. Nico laid on their beds while Lewis took a shower in the bathroom nearby.
He heard the rustle of the shower while he was trying to relax and recharge some energy after the day.
Even though he wasn't as visible, which he was really thankful for now, he already recognized a lot of changes his body made due to the pregnancy. Not only the sour feeling in his mouth when he woke up and needed to throw up. He was already a really emotional person before getting pregnant but the pregnancy hormones did not make it better, he found himself crying over nothing far too often, but luckily his mom was always right there to hug him and calm him down.
Another thing that really annoyed him were the pregnancy cravings he had, he read and heard about the usual ones. People saying they craved pickles with nutella or other weird stuff. Only thinking about it made him almost vomit.
But he was not better, even though he did not crave weird food combinations. Instead he was craving Frosties, Apricot and pizza. All of the things he could not eat that much of before, due to the diet plans he had to perform well in karting.
Nico looked at the ultrasound in his hands again, how he did nearly all the time when no one was around.
The sound of the water stopped and a few minutes later Lewis came out of the bathroom, topless wearing shorts. Water dropped down his chest while he was trying to towel down his buzz cut.
A smile formed on his face when he saw Nico looking at their baby.
Nico looked up as Lewis was throwing himself on to the bed wrapping his damp arms around Nico's waist and laying his head on the little womb that was starting to grow and with it their child.
Nico hugged him back leaving a careful kiss on top of Lewis's head.
It was quiet for a few minutes until Nico broke the quiet.
“Did you know the baby is the size of a raspberry right now?”
Lewis looked up processing what Nico just said, until he started to laugh. “We are really doing it aren't we Nic?”
Nico laughed as well. “Doing what?”
“The whole pregnancy stuff, I mean,” he said. “Counting days until birth, saying how far you are in weeks not in months to confuse other people and when the baby is born also saying how old they are in months instead of years. Midnight snacks at 3am, that kind of stuff.”
“Yeah,” Nico said. “I am fine with the midnight snacks tho. But I am not eating weird pregnancy food combinations.”
“Really, Nic. No pickles with nutella for you?”
“Lew, stop, that's disgusting.“
The boys laughed.
“But a midnight snack does not sound so bad right now.” Nico said as he was starting to feel hungry.
“Mhm. What does my pregnant husband wanna have as a midnight snack?” Lewis asked, grinning at Nico.
Nico's face turned red, as Lewis called him his husband, but he was not going to deny it. His heart hammered against his chest as he was imagining marrying Lewis one day.
"What's about a late night pizza, Nic?” Lewis suggested after Nico was still for a bit.
Lewis knew it was exactly what Nico wanted and just waited for him to suggest it. Nico didn't have to say yes.
Lewis got himself a shirt out of his suit so they could get out of the hotel. Nico felt sad when he was denied a view of Lewis's muscular upper body.
They sneaked out of the hotel like they usually did and went to the first pizza place they could find.
It was not huge but also not little. As they entered there were about ten places to sit since most of the space meant to be used as a seating area was outside.
Even though it was already pretty late they were not the only two people at the restaurant, at the window was an elderly couple enjoying a tiramisu together.
Nico chose a table in the corner, before Lewis could sit down Nico was already paging through the menu looking for what he wanted.
“Mhm,” Nico said. “Lewis, what are you choosing?” He asked.
“Nico, I did not even have time to take a look at the menu. How am I supposed to know what to order, Nic?” Lewis laughed.
Nico pushed the menu towards him. “So, what do you want?”
Lewis just shook your head and was finally able to take a look at the menu.
“I think I want a simple margherita.” Lewis said after seeing the variety of pizzas they offered.
“Lewis” Nico complained. “You are so basic.”
Lewis did not react to Nico and just leaned back, watching an elderly woman that came from the kitchen and looked at the two boys. She cleaned her hands, that were dusty with flour, at her apron and pulled a little notepad out of the chest pocket.
“Hello boys, what can I bring you?” She asked with a strong Italian accent.
“Good evening ma’am, one margherita for me please.” Lewis said.
“Ciao signora, voglio la stessa cosa che ha ordinato lui.” Nico answered in Italian. (Hi ma'am, I want the same thing he ordered.)
She smiled and they had a short conversation in Italian, while Lewis just sat next to Nico not understanding a single word they said. He looked around the deep red walls that felt warm and familiar.
He looked at the elderly couple at the window not far away from them. They looked happy, smiling at each other while eating their dessert.
Lewis saw Nico and himself sitting there when they were older, already having gray hair. Both winning at least one world championship in their career, happily retired.
Maybe if it's possible and they felt ready they would have another child. Or maybe later even grandkids they could spoil.
He knew they were young. They are just children getting children already. Lewis did not feel ready, he did not know if he would ever feel completely ready but for now, everything he needed was Nico.
He wanted that future with Nico and no one else. Nico was the love of his life.
Lewis looked back to Nico, who finished his conversation with the Lady and was already looking at him again.
“She was really nice, Lewis. She told me about her children that already moved out for college but visit her regularly.” Nico said with a smile on his face.
He was already adapting the proud child talk.
Maybe it will be different in the future.
The pizza arrived quicker than expected, it was thin, the edges crisp, the tomato soup tasted fresh and the melted mozzarella on top was still bubbling. Their eyes widened.
“Okay,” Nico said recently. “This looks insane.”
Lewis watched him take the first bite.
Nico froze. Then he blinked.
Nico pointed at the slice. “This is criminally good.”
Nico took another giant bite. “Lewis, Gott, I swear this is life changing. I am getting emotional again.”
Lewis burst out laughing, the sound echoing softly in the tiny restaurant. Nico looked up at him with tomato sauce on his lip, so hopelessly dramatic, so alive, Lewis felt something warm settle in his chest.
They ate slowly, talking in between the bites, small things, silly things.
Lewis described his kart setup for the race weekend as if he were explaining a conspiracy theory. Nico rolled his eyes so many times he lost count.
They shared one bottle of sparkling water, passing it back and forth without thinking.
Halfway through his slice, Nico leaned his cheek against his cheek against his hand, watching Lewis animately gesture with his pizza slice as if it were a pointer stick, which looked absolutely hilarious to him.
Lewis noticed the stare of his boyfriend. “What?”
“Nothing,” Nico said softly. “Just happy you are here.”
Lewis blinked, his expression softening immediately. “Yeah. Me too.”
They finished their meal slowly, letting the evening settle around them. When they finally stepped back into the cool air outside, the stars shone down at them, streetlights flickering on.
Lewis reached out, brushing their hands together once, hesitant.
Nico intertwined their fingers without hesitation.
Lewis' warm hand squeezed his cold hand.
“Pizza date again next race week?” he asked playfully.
Nico laughed and shook his head. “Lew, we can not live off pizza, also I do not know if I will be there next race weekend. My parents were thinking about not going to the race weekend next week, because they are afraid of the truth coming out. It would be suspicious if I would show up every race and not race even though I seem healthy. Also what if im starting to show? I do not know if I will be there, Lewis.”
Lewis lowered his head visibly disappointed, even though he knew that Nico would not be able to watch all of his races he did not know it could come so early. But he knew it was the right thing to do.
He smiled and squeezed Nico's hand again. “It is ok. We will do that together.”
Nico looked back. “Together.”
They walked home like that, just two boys in the quiet streets, hands intertwined, full stomachs and full hearts, the kind of small moment no one else would ever see.
But for them it was a moment they would remember forever.
…
The next morning came fast. The pale sunlight was slipping through the half closed curtains, they forgot to close completely the night before, when they fell into their beds completely exhausted, pooling in soft stripes across the messy bed sheets. The world outside was already awake, scooters buzzing faintly in the streets below, distant voices drifting through narrow alleys.
Nico woke up first.
A familiar heaviness lingered in his stomach, a doll twist that had become all too familiar these days. At first he tried to ignore it like he always did, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth to avoid the disgusting taste in his mouth.
When he tried to fall back asleep but the nausea had other plans with him and rolled again stronger.
Nico clutched the blanked, “Not again…” He whispered to himself.
Lewis shifted behind him, half asleep. “Mm … you okay, Nico?”
Nico swallowed, then sat up way too quickly. “No. I think I am gonna”
Nico could not finish his sentence.
Lewis was instantly fully awake. “Bathroom. Come on.”
He helped Nico stumble across the dim room, one hand steady on his back. Nico barely made it to the toilet before another wave of nausea hit, Lewis held him while brushing his blond locks away from his forehead, murmuring soft and steady things.
“It is okay, Nico. … breath … I am here, you are okay…”
The worst of it passed after a minute, even though for Nico it always felt much longer than just a minute. He gripped the cold porcelain edge of the toilet, his eyes were closed and his chest heaving.
Lewis reached for a towel nearby and damped it, he gently wiped it along Nico's cheeks. “Better?”
“A little,” Nico whispered, still exhausted.
Lewis wrapped an arm around him, gently guiding him to sit on the floor. Nico rested his forehead on Lewis's shoulder, breathing in the familiar warmth and the steadiness that always grounded him.
“Sorry,” Nico muttered weakly.
“Do not apologize,” Lewis said immediately. “You are doing amazing, Nico.”
Nico looked up at him, even though his eyes looked tired and his skin was pale because of the nausea, he tried to form a soft smile. “You are too good to me, Lewis. You do not have to do that.”
Lewis huffed a quiet laugh. “Well, someone has to balance out your dramatic moments. And I have to do that, Nico. You are my boyfriend. You are having our child. I love you, Nico.”
Nico nudged him weakly with his knee. "Shut up. I just vomited. Stop being so romantic.”
Lewis smiled and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Nico's lips. “You can punch me later. Right now let's just get you standing.”
They stayed like this for a moment, again, this morning was the kind of morning that neither of them would have ever imagined months ago. It was scary, strange and somehow it was full of a quiet closeness that made the world feel small and warm.
Nico finally stood, brushing his teeth, trying to regain some normalcy, even though these mornings were almost normal to him. Waking up and feeling how the nausea hit. Lewis leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed and still watching him like he would break if he blinked too long.
When Nico finished, he turned towards Lewis and moved into his space, laying his head on Lewis’s chest, feeling how Lewis's arms wrapped around him almost instinctively.
Nico kissed him.
Soft, tired, warm.
The kind of kiss that said thank you and I am scared and I need you all at once.
Lewis kissed him back immediately. He was gentle, careful and as if he knew Nico was still a little shaky. Nico leaned into him again, breathing him in and finally feeling how the nausea subsided completely.
As Nico raised his head, willing to kiss Lewis again, a knock on the door of the hotel room interrupted them.
“Boys?” Keke’s voice rang through the door. “Breakfast in fifteen minutes … are you already awake?”
They froze.
Lewis stepped back so fast he nearly tipped over the edge of the rug. Nico pressed a hand over his mouth to stop the laughter bubbling in his chest.
“I swear he has timing powers,” Lewis whispered to Nico.
Nico grinned and whispered back, “He definitely does.”
Keke knocked again, this time more impatient. “Boys I hope you are awake, breakfast ends in 45 minutes. Also you have to pack for the flight.”
Nico cleared his through. “Yeah! Just … waking up!”
Nico shoved Lewis's shoulder lightly before he left, opening the door for his father, followed by Lewis.
Keke stood there in a polo shirt looking at the expensive watch on his wrist. His eyes flickered briefly from Nico's pale face to Lewis's kind of swollen lips and then back again, a knowing expression on his face, but in a soft and fatherly kind of way.
“You look pale,” Keke said immediately, looking into his son's face. “Morning sickness again?”
Nico nodded. “A little. It is better now.”
Keke did not push, he did not question the details, knowing Nico's daily fight with the pregnancy. He simply squeezed Nico's upper arm and said, “Come eat something, hm? Even frosties."
“Ja, Papa.”
Keke gave a small nod, then looked at Lewis. “You too. Anthony is already downstairs complaining about the small amount of coffee."
Lewis laughed. “Sounds like him.”
“We leave in two hours,” Keke added, tapping against the glass of the watch. “So do not take long and remember to have your bags packed.”
When he walked away they closed the door again and Lewis let out a massive breath. “I actually thought I was going to pass out.”
Nico chuckled. “Why? Lewis I am pregnant they know what we did.”
“Still, it is embarrassing. He definitely suspected something.”
“We were not doing anything wrong.”
“We were kissing.”
Nico raised his eyebrows playfully. “And? We are allowed. Lewis we fucked and they know it.”
Lewis opened his mouth, just to close it again, defeated. “… okay, fair.”
Nico slipped his fingers through Lewis's for a second, squeezing them lightly. “Come on. Let's not keep them waiting. Or maybe they will suspect we are doing way worse than kissing.”
…
The hotel restaurant smelled of croissants, coffee and warm sour dough. Anthony was already on his third coffee, drumbling about the small sizes of the cups. Keke sat next to Anthony at the table leaving the bench in front of them empty for Nico and Lewis. He reviewed the travel schedules for the next month with a pair of reading glasses sitting low on his nose.
“There you two are, I was about to go a second time looking for you, boys.” Keke said when Nico and Lewis approached. “Hungry?”
Lewis nodded and pulled Nico on to the bench next to him. Nico grabbed the bowl of milt that Keke already prepared from him as well as another bowl full of Frosties. As he mixed the cereal he tried to not look as exhausted as he felt.
Anthony glanced at them over the rim of his cup. “You sleep okay?”
Lewis shrugged. "More or less.”
Nico tried to not laugh onto his orange juice.
They ate quietly for a few minutes until Keke set down his fork and cleared his throat.
“Alright,” he said. “We have news.”
“Good news.” Anthony added, folding his arms.
Lewis looked up. “Yeah?”
Keke gave Anthony a small nod, letting him speak first.
Anthony leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Lewis and I will not fly back to England. Instead we will fly to Monaco together with you. So we can figure something out to say to the media and what will happen when the pregnancy will progress, so you and Nico will be together.”
Lewis and Nico froze mid bite.
“What? Really?”
Anthony nodded. “Yes. I talked with your mom and Linda about it. For a while. We agreed it is the best thing to do for the three of you.”
Lewis stared at him with disbelief, then glanced at Nico, eyes bright with a sudden and almost child like relief. Nico felt warmth bloom in his chest when he heard that Lewis would come back to Monaco with him. Knowing he would not be alone with the pregnancy until the next race weekend.
Keke continued, “It makes sense. You boys are attached and Anthony and I need to coordinate a lot.. well to be honest, everything. Schedules, explanations, support.”
Nico's hand grabbed Lewis's under the table.
“And before I forget," Keke said with a mysterious grin on his face. “Sina told me this morning she booked the next doctor's appointment for next week.”
Lewis's eyes widened in excitement when he heard what Keke just said. Nico looked at his boyfriend. Finally he could completely share with Lewis the things he experienced. They would hear the heart beat together for the first time.
Nico was not on his own anymore.
Lewis would be there. Lewis was there.
They would be there together.
Listening to their baby's heartbeat while Lewis would hold Nico's hands.
Nico could not wait for that appointment to arrive.
He was more than excited to see how the baby developed.
Also Nico really wanted a new ultrasound picture he could keep in his pockets. The one he had was already pretty damaged, folds and creases decorated the paper and the little gray dot on the paper was barely visible.
…
The flight back to Monaco was quiet. Nico had let his head sink on Lewis's shoulders but he knew it wasn't possible because they were in public.
…
The doctor's appointment was set for Wednesday. The morning was exhausting, dealing with the morning sickness and being at the hospital at the right time.
The streets of Monaco slid past the car windows, sunlit and familiar, but Nico barely registered them. His hands rested in his lap, fingers loosely intertwined and his thumbs worrying the edge of his sleeve.
Nine weeks, the size of a grape.
He kept repeating it to himself like a fragile truth that might shatter if he did not hold it carefully enough.
Lewis sat beside him on the back seat, close without crowding, his knee pressed lightly against Nico’s. He had not let go of Nico’s hand since they had left the apartment. Not when they climbed into the car, not when they stopped at a red light, not even when Nico’s grip tightened unconsciously every few minutes.
Sina sat in the front at the driver's seat, occasionally glancing back at them through the rearview mirror.
Nico’s stomach rolled faintly, a lingering echo of the morning sickness that had finally eased an hour ago. He swallowed, breathing slowly, grounding himself.
The car pulled outside the clinic , the same understated building as before, clean lines, glass doors, nothing dramatic. Nico’s heartbeat picked up instantly.
This was where everything had first become real. Where he first saw his child, where he first heard his baby. Their baby, his and Lewis's. Something he would never forget, it was something that had a special place in the middle of his heart.
Inside the air was cool and smelled faintly of disinfectant and something floral Nico could not quite place. The waiting room was quiet, safe for the murmur of another couple speaking softly in the corner.
The womb of the woman had grown big and the man's hand was softly placed on it. Their faces glowed with excitement.
Nico looked at them with a little jealousy looking at his own womb that did not really show yet, but if one looked correctly one would see that there was something already. Nico knew he and Lewis would never be able to be like that in public, they simply could not.
They checked in. Nico recognized the receptionist this time, which made his stomach twist and settle all at once. This time he was not afraid, he was excited, excited to see that little life growing inside of him, hearing the heartbeat once again.
Familiar meant routine. Routine meant normal.
They sat together, he was not alone anymore, Lewis was there, with him. Lewis’s arm brushed Nico’s, their knees touching. Nico stared at the floor tiles, counting his breaths, until the nurse called his name.
“Nico Rosberg?”
His chest tightened. “That’s me.”
Lewis stood immediately. “I am coming with him.”
The nurse smiled knowingly. “Of course.”
Sina rose as well, placing a gentle hand between Nico’s shoulder blades as they followed her down the hallway. “You are doing great,” she said softly.
The examination room looked exactly the same as before.Same pale walls. Same muted artwork. Same ultrasound machine, waiting quietly in the corner.
But now he understood that feeling, this room was clearly not built for sickness, this room was built for beginnings. A beginning of that miracle life he and Lewis created, something new, something that would bind them together for eternity.
Nico sat on the edge of the exam table, heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat. Lewis stayed standing at first, then moved closer instinctively, as if drawn there by gravity alone.
Doctor Laurent entered moments later, her expression warm and familiar. “Nico, welcome back.”
Nico smiled faintly. “Hi.”
“It’s good to see you again,” she continued, then turned to Lewis and Sina. “And you must be the father, am I right?”
Lewis nodded quickly, his dark cheeks blushing. “Yes. Hi.”
“Now, Nico, how have things been since we last saw each other? You are at nine weeks right now, aren't you?”
Nico took a breath. “I’ve been… sick in the mornings. I'm really tired. Sometimes I get dizzy.”
The doctor nodded, jotting notes. “Any pain? Bleeding?”
“No,” Nico said quickly. “Nothing like that.”
“That’s good.” The doctor looked up. “Everything you’re describing is very typical for this stage.”
Typical. Normal.
The words settled into Nico’s chest, easing some invisible tension. These were not the words he would describe his condition at the moment. He still felt untypical, abnormal, he was a pregnant boy. He was pregnant, something she never expected to be.
Lewis glanced at him. “He’s been trying to eat, even when he feels awful.”
Nico rolled his eyes weakly. “He watches me like a hawk.”
Lewis smiled. “Someone has to.”
Doctor Laurent chuckled. “Sounds like a good support system.”
Nico felt his ears warm.
“Alright,” she said gently. “Let’s take a look.”
Nico lay back on the table, nerves spiking instantly. Lewis moved without thinking, stepping closer to him, taking Nico’s hand again. Sina stood near Nico’s head, her presence grounding.
The gel was familiar cold when it touched Nico’s skin, even though it still made him flinch.
“Sorry,” doctor Laurent murmured.
“It’s okay,” Nico whispered, though his breathing had already gone shallow.
The machine hummed softly. The screen flickered to life.
Nico stared at it, his heart pounding. The image was blurry at first, shapes and shadows that meant nothing to him. His mind spiraled.
What if something’s wrong? What if there’s nothing there?
Lewis squeezed his hand. “Hey. Look at me, Nico.”
Nico turned his head slightly. Lewis’s expression was steady, open, completely present. “I’m right here,” Lewis said quietly. “Whatever happens, we are doing this together.”
Nico swallowed hard and nodded.
Then doctor Laurent smiled.
“There,” she said softly.
Nico’s breath caught. “Where?”
Laurent adjusted the angle, turning the screen more toward them. “That small shape. And that flicker.”
Lewis leaned in, eyes wide. “Is that?”
“Yes,” Doctor Laurent said. “That is the heartbeat.”
And suddenly, the sound filled the room.
Fast. Strong. Unmistakably alive.
Nico felt it like a physical blow to the chest. His breath stuttered, a sob tearing out of him before he could stop it. Tears blurred his vision as he pressed his free hand over his mouth.
“Oh,” Lewis breathed, his voice breaking completely. “Oh my god.”
Tears streamed freely down Lewis’s face as he stared at the screen, frozen. “That’s… that’s real.”
Doctor Laurent nodded gently. “Very real. And very healthy for nine weeks.”
Sina inhaled sharply behind them. Nico felt her hand tremble on his shoulder.
The heartbeat kept going, steady, relentless, proof of something growing inside him.
Nico laughed softly through his tears, overwhelmed. “Did you hear it?” he whispered to Lewis, like he was afraid it might vanish if he spoke too loudly.
Lewis nodded, crying openly now. “Yeah. I hear it.”
He squeezed Nico’s hand like he was anchoring himself to the moment. “That’s… that’s our baby.”
The words sent another wave of emotion crashing through Nico. Our. Not just his fear, his burden, but theirs.
The doctor let the moment stretch, unhurried.
“Everything looks excellent,” she said finally. “Growth is right on track. Their heart rate is strong.”
Nico closed his eyes briefly, letting relief wash over him.
When the scan ended, doctor Laurent cleaned the gel away and handed Nico a new printout. The image was clearer this time, more defined. Real.
“You’re doing very well,” the doctor said. “Continue resting, eating when you can, and listening to your body. And try, if possible, to let yourselves feel hopeful.”
Lewis nodded immediately. “We are.”