Because of course Charles and Max are testing all alone. Of course they drive through the rain together. Of course a rainbow appears later to watch over their dance.
By the time the next race weekend rolled around the world felt even louder.
It was another horrible morning with him and Lewis in the hotel bathroom. He hated the way the bitter and acidic taste clung to his tongue, impossible to swallow away. He’d brushed his teeth more than four times, to get rid of that soreness in his mouth.
For the entire last two weeks the mornings had been hell. Mornings of him and his mom sitting in the bathroom. He vomited into the toilet while his mother sat next to him, ready with a fresh glass of water, holding back his blond locks.
But today it wasn't his mother in the bathroom, today it was Lewis again, who sat next to him.
Together on the floor of their shared hotel bathroom, Lewis held back Nico’s blond hair while he hung over the toilet, giving him kisses on the forehead every now and then. Lewis tried to calm the havoc by whispering calming words into his ear.
Now they were in the car on their way to the track, both in team merch, but Nico decided to take Lewis’s hoodie. Their hoodies were quite similar, exactly the same even, but something was different. Lewis’s smell was all over the hoodie, which calmed Nico while he cuddled himself into it.
When they arrived at the track, Keke looked in the back seat at the boys, who sat directly beside one another, holding hands.
Even though Nico felt a lot better than in the morning he still looked a little sick.
Keke looked at the boys searching for eye contact with his son. His look was full of comfort which gave Nico comfort. Being next to the track again, not being able to drive, made him nervous. “You don't have to stay for the entire day if that's too much Nico, you can go whenever you want to.”
Anthony, who sat next to Keke on the passenger seat also gave Nico a supporting nod, while Lewis squeezed his hand.
“I want to,” Nico replied. “I need to.”
Keke nodded like he already knew that would be Nico's answer. “We will do everything to make sure you are comfortable.”
Keke looked at his son one last time searching for a single sign of discomfort in Nico's eyes, before they left the car together.
When Nico opened the door of the car, the sound of engines and chatter wrapped around him like static. And again the air was filled with the smell of rubber and fuel and again it did not comfort him like it used to do, but again it was a reminder of what he was not allowed to do.
Lewis and Nico walked side by side to the garage, joking around following their dads in front of them who had some conversations about karting. When they reached the garage the team was already waiting for them. “Lewis, focus now. Ten minutes to briefing.”
Nico looked at the team member that reminded him about the briefing just to look back at Nico with a sad face. His eyes asked Nico if everything would be fine.
“Yeah,” Nico said, who was able to read the question in Lewis's eyes. “Go win something.”
Lewis grinned. “Always. I will see you after, yeah?”
As Lewis disappeared into the tent, Nico exhaled slowly. The morning sun pressed against his back. Since his father went in the tent as well together with Anthony, Nico was fully alone again. He felt exposed.
It was not just him imagining it, the heads were turning when he walked past. Whispers carried in the air like wind.
“Is Rosberg out again?” Someone muttered near the fence.
“Maybe he is injured.”
“Or maybe he lost his seat.”
Lewis clenched his jaw, eyes fixed straight ahead. He knew how people talked. The paddock was like that, it ever was and it will ever be. But it still stung, hearing his name turned into speculation.
But they did not know what prevented him from being part of the race. They did not know he carried around a fetus the size of a raspberry. They would never know.
The race was mostly like the last one. Nico sat on the side track, but still with a good view of what was happening.
He saw Lewis leaning into the corners, seeing Lewis doing what he was also supposed to do. It hurt more than anything ever could.
Not only seeing Lewis on the track Nico was also supposed to race on but also all of the critical look of all of the parents and team members from the other teams.
He just sat there staring onto the karting track before him, he felt like a ghost, it was wrong. The whole situation felt wrong.
He flinched when he felt a strong hand being placed on his shoulder. He turned around, his golden locks in his view as he looked up into the blue eyes of his father, in them there was a calm, steady light that caught him before he could fall, holding everything together.
“Everything ok Nico?” Keke asked, concerned. He looked at the crowd of people who looked at Nico before and were now trying to look everywhere except Nico and his dad. “Ignore them, you don't owe anyone an explanation.”
“I know, Dad,” Nico murmured. “But it feels weird. Everyone’s asking why I am not driving.”
Keke looked at his son. “You know we will think about something.”
And they would have too, because by the time Keke left his son alone again he was approached by one of the local reporters that came to the races.
“Mr. Rosberg,” the man asked, his voice oily smooth. “Is it true your son is stepping back for health reasons? Or is he being replaced?”
Keke's eyes narrowed, calm but firm. “Nico’s taking a temporary break,” he said evenly. “He is under doctor’s orders, but he will be back soon.”
The reporter smiled unsatisfied. “Any Details?"
“No.”
And that was that.
But Nico saw the looks exchanged between Keke and Anthony later, the quiet worry in their faces. This would not stay a secret forever. But they can at least try to keep the secret as long as they can. Nico knew how hard this would be, with the upcoming attention and pressure in the higher categories. The intensifying nosiness of the reporters.
But something inside him knew it would be fine. They would figure something out.
Nico went into the tent where the rest of the team was, he needed a short break from the hectic and the glances outside.
He sat down at the couch in his and Lewis's driver's room, the room was empty except for him, Lewis was probably still in the meeting, talking about strategies for the upcoming race. Nico looked at his phone in his hand, seeing the little screen lighting up, showing a new message.
Chris: You good? everyone is talking about you, I heard you got hurt or something.
Chris and Nico got quite good friends over the years, not as close friends he and Lewis were, but still pretty close. Nico stared at it for a long time before typing a message back.
Nico: I am fine. Just a break. Nothing serious.
He hit send and then put the phone face down on the little coffee table next to him.
The truth was so much bigger than anything he could explain. And so much more fragile. It was moving and had a little hardbeat that made Nico's heart melt.
The ultrasound picture felt heavier in his pocket, he took it everywhere he went, it gave him a reminder and a kind of a safe feeling. It was a reason, a reason to give up carting for a while, a reason to not give up.
He took the wrinkled sheet of paper out of his pocket, looking at the gray blur that changed everything.
A soft knock at the door made him look up. He tried to hide the ultrasound picture as fast as he could, fearing it could be someone, not aware of the medical condition he was currently in.
Nico felt a huge relief, when he saw that Lewis was the one who just slipped in quietly, already changed into his race gear.
“Here you are,” Lewis said, leaning against the doorframe, while closing the door behind him. “I was searching for you outside but I could not find you.”
Nico nodded. “Yeah. Too much noise. Too many looks.”
Lewis crossed the room and sat beside him. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Nico said automatically then sighed. Pulling out the ultrasound picture again. “No. Not really.”
Lewis titled his head. Also looking at the ultrasound, a little smile formed on his face. “Talk to me. I am there for you. You can talk with me about everything, Nic.”
Nico hesitated at first, Lewis had a race to win. He didn't want to burden Lewis with his problems. “It is just… weird, being here and not being part of it. Everyone is asking me questions. It got even worse since last weekend. And I'm afraid what is going to happen in the next few weeks when I'm still not driving.”
Lewis nodded slowly. “I know I hate it too. They ask me as well, even though it's none of their business why you are not driving.”
“They think I am sick or that I messed up, that the team dropped me. It is like I am disappearing from something I worked so hard for.”
Lewis' facial expression softened. He reached out, resting his hand gently on Nico's knee. “You are not disappearing. You are still you.”
Nico swallowed hard. His eyes glued on the picture that he still holds in his hands. “It does not feel like it.”
“Then I will remind you,” Lewis said quietly. Leaving a gentle kiss on Nico's forehead. “Every day, if I have to.”
Something inside Nico cracked at that a mix of gratitude and ache. “You really think I will come back the same?”
“I do not think so,” Lewis said. “I know it. You are an amazing driver Nico, you will come back and you will come back better. We will race together, we will race together in formula one and one day as teammates, no one could stop us.”
The conviction in his voice was steady, unwavering and for a moment, Nico believed it too.
He leaned his head against Lewis's shoulder. “You always make things sound possible.”
Lewis smiled faintly. “Maybe that is because they are.”
They sat like that for a while, the hum of the race track outside and the steady rhythm of Lewis's breathing beside him made Nico almost forget all his fears and concerns. For the moment it was just him, Lewis and their baby.
“My Dad is talking to Keke.” Lewis said softly, “They are starting to come up with a story for everyone.”
Nico straightened slightly. “A story?”
“Something simple. Like a minor back injury. That way no one asks more questions.”
Nico frowned. “That is good.”
“I know,” Lewis said gently.
Nico sighed, nodding slowly. “Okay.”
Lewis smiled, brushing a bit of golden hair from Nico's forehead. “I have a race to win now, Nico. For you and the baby.”
Nico laughed quietly. “Yeah.”
He wondered how long they could keep the truth hidden and how much harder it would get when his body really began to show.
The boys walked out of their driver's room together. They headed up to Lewis's kart that was surrounded by mechanics, ready for him to race.
During the way Nico's hands felt empty and cold and he had the urge to just reach for Lewis's hand. Holding hands while walking through the garage, but that was not possible. That would never be possible. It could destroy their careers and everything would have been for nothing.
Nico watched how Lewis got into the kart, Lewis looked back once before starting the engine, Nico gave him a small nod. The silent kind that meant you've got this.
He knew that Lewis's grin flickered beneath helmet, quick, bright and full of promise, before he shot off down the track.
Nico's pulse rose with every lap. He could not help it, his body remembered the rhythm, the timing, the way adrenaline felt like home.
When Lewis then qualified for pole position, Nico found himself cheering, before he could realize it, clapping hard enough the team laughed.
Anthony appeared next to him, grinning across the garage. “You would think you just won.”
Nico flushed slightly and blamed it on the pregnancy hormones that made him more and more emotional by every day passing by. “Maybe a little.”
Anthony's expression softened, kind of realizing it were the hormones that made Nico so emotional. “He drives a lot better with you around. You know that?”
Nico blinked, caught off guard. “You think so?”
“I know so,” Anthony said. “He is steadier. More focused. Like he has got something to race for. The weekend you just disappeared was horrible even though he won he was unconcentrated and didn't race how he used to.”
That made something warm unfurl in Nico's chest.
Anthony smiled faintly. “You are good for him, Nico. And I will admit I was scared, at first. I am still. But you are both trying. That's more than most adults do.”
Nico looked down blinking fast. "Thank you."
Anthony nodded once. “Now, let's get through that race without another rumor, yeah?”
Nico chuckled. “I will do my best.”
The race itself was everything, it always was fast, loud and alive. Lewis dominated from start to finish, each lap smoother than the last. No fight between the teammates like it used to be.
Nico watched from the sidelines, pride and longing tangled in his chest.
When Lewis finally crossed the finish line first again, the world around him exploded in noise. The team members were cheering the engines rolling and the few cameras flashing.
Keke clapped a hand on Nico's shoulder grinning. “Glad you chose that one to be your boyfriend.” He said so quietly only Nico was able to hear him, his face instantly turned red and he could feel his ears burning.
“Yeah.” Nico said, his hand reached into his pocket, grabbing the ultrasound picture, holding it as if it gave him strength. The picture gave him some kind of recognition.
After the podium, when the crowd started to thin, Lewis found Nico again. He was still in his race suit soaked in champagne, his trophy in his hands.
“You saw?” Lewis asked, still breathless, knowing exactly that Nico watched him winning the race.
“I saw,” Nico said, letting out a little laugh. “You were good. Not as good as me though.”
“Sure Nico, I can not wait to race against you again.” Lewis said, looking at his boyfriend.
Later that day they were back in their shared hotel room. Nico laid on their beds while Lewis took a shower in the bathroom nearby.
He heard the rustle of the shower while he was trying to relax and recharge some energy after the day.
Even though he wasn't as visible, which he was really thankful for now, he already recognized a lot of changes his body made due to the pregnancy. Not only the sour feeling in his mouth when he woke up and needed to throw up. He was already a really emotional person before getting pregnant but the pregnancy hormones did not make it better, he found himself crying over nothing far too often, but luckily his mom was always right there to hug him and calm him down.
Another thing that really annoyed him were the pregnancy cravings he had, he read and heard about the usual ones. People saying they craved pickles with nutella or other weird stuff. Only thinking about it made him almost vomit.
But he was not better, even though he did not crave weird food combinations. Instead he was craving Frosties, Apricot and pizza. All of the things he could not eat that much of before, due to the diet plans he had to perform well in karting.
Nico looked at the ultrasound in his hands again, how he did nearly all the time when no one was around.
The sound of the water stopped and a few minutes later Lewis came out of the bathroom, topless wearing shorts. Water dropped down his chest while he was trying to towel down his buzz cut.
A smile formed on his face when he saw Nico looking at their baby.
Nico looked up as Lewis was throwing himself on to the bed wrapping his damp arms around Nico's waist and laying his head on the little womb that was starting to grow and with it their child.
Nico hugged him back leaving a careful kiss on top of Lewis's head.
It was quiet for a few minutes until Nico broke the quiet.
“Did you know the baby is the size of a raspberry right now?”
Lewis looked up processing what Nico just said, until he started to laugh. “We are really doing it aren't we Nic?”
Nico laughed as well. “Doing what?”
“The whole pregnancy stuff, I mean,” he said. “Counting days until birth, saying how far you are in weeks not in months to confuse other people and when the baby is born also saying how old they are in months instead of years. Midnight snacks at 3am, that kind of stuff.”
“Yeah,” Nico said. “I am fine with the midnight snacks tho. But I am not eating weird pregnancy food combinations.”
“Really, Nic. No pickles with nutella for you?”
“Lew, stop, that's disgusting.“
The boys laughed.
“But a midnight snack does not sound so bad right now.” Nico said as he was starting to feel hungry.
“Mhm. What does my pregnant husband wanna have as a midnight snack?” Lewis asked, grinning at Nico.
Nico's face turned red, as Lewis called him his husband, but he was not going to deny it. His heart hammered against his chest as he was imagining marrying Lewis one day.
"What's about a late night pizza, Nic?” Lewis suggested after Nico was still for a bit.
Lewis knew it was exactly what Nico wanted and just waited for him to suggest it. Nico didn't have to say yes.
Lewis got himself a shirt out of his suit so they could get out of the hotel. Nico felt sad when he was denied a view of Lewis's muscular upper body.
They sneaked out of the hotel like they usually did and went to the first pizza place they could find.
It was not huge but also not little. As they entered there were about ten places to sit since most of the space meant to be used as a seating area was outside.
Even though it was already pretty late they were not the only two people at the restaurant, at the window was an elderly couple enjoying a tiramisu together.
Nico chose a table in the corner, before Lewis could sit down Nico was already paging through the menu looking for what he wanted.
“Mhm,” Nico said. “Lewis, what are you choosing?” He asked.
“Nico, I did not even have time to take a look at the menu. How am I supposed to know what to order, Nic?” Lewis laughed.
Nico pushed the menu towards him. “So, what do you want?”
Lewis just shook your head and was finally able to take a look at the menu.
“I think I want a simple margherita.” Lewis said after seeing the variety of pizzas they offered.
“Lewis” Nico complained. “You are so basic.”
Lewis did not react to Nico and just leaned back, watching an elderly woman that came from the kitchen and looked at the two boys. She cleaned her hands, that were dusty with flour, at her apron and pulled a little notepad out of the chest pocket.
“Hello boys, what can I bring you?” She asked with a strong Italian accent.
“Good evening ma’am, one margherita for me please.” Lewis said.
“Ciao signora, voglio la stessa cosa che ha ordinato lui.” Nico answered in Italian. (Hi ma'am, I want the same thing he ordered.)
She smiled and they had a short conversation in Italian, while Lewis just sat next to Nico not understanding a single word they said. He looked around the deep red walls that felt warm and familiar.
He looked at the elderly couple at the window not far away from them. They looked happy, smiling at each other while eating their dessert.
Lewis saw Nico and himself sitting there when they were older, already having gray hair. Both winning at least one world championship in their career, happily retired.
Maybe if it's possible and they felt ready they would have another child. Or maybe later even grandkids they could spoil.
He knew they were young. They are just children getting children already. Lewis did not feel ready, he did not know if he would ever feel completely ready but for now, everything he needed was Nico.
He wanted that future with Nico and no one else. Nico was the love of his life.
Lewis looked back to Nico, who finished his conversation with the Lady and was already looking at him again.
“She was really nice, Lewis. She told me about her children that already moved out for college but visit her regularly.” Nico said with a smile on his face.
He was already adapting the proud child talk.
Maybe it will be different in the future.
The pizza arrived quicker than expected, it was thin, the edges crisp, the tomato soup tasted fresh and the melted mozzarella on top was still bubbling. Their eyes widened.
“Okay,” Nico said recently. “This looks insane.”
Lewis watched him take the first bite.
Nico froze. Then he blinked.
Nico pointed at the slice. “This is criminally good.”
Nico took another giant bite. “Lewis, Gott, I swear this is life changing. I am getting emotional again.”
Lewis burst out laughing, the sound echoing softly in the tiny restaurant. Nico looked up at him with tomato sauce on his lip, so hopelessly dramatic, so alive, Lewis felt something warm settle in his chest.
They ate slowly, talking in between the bites, small things, silly things.
Lewis described his kart setup for the race weekend as if he were explaining a conspiracy theory. Nico rolled his eyes so many times he lost count.
They shared one bottle of sparkling water, passing it back and forth without thinking.
Halfway through his slice, Nico leaned his cheek against his cheek against his hand, watching Lewis animately gesture with his pizza slice as if it were a pointer stick, which looked absolutely hilarious to him.
Lewis noticed the stare of his boyfriend. “What?”
“Nothing,” Nico said softly. “Just happy you are here.”
Lewis blinked, his expression softening immediately. “Yeah. Me too.”
They finished their meal slowly, letting the evening settle around them. When they finally stepped back into the cool air outside, the stars shone down at them, streetlights flickering on.
Lewis reached out, brushing their hands together once, hesitant.
Nico intertwined their fingers without hesitation.
Lewis' warm hand squeezed his cold hand.
“Pizza date again next race week?” he asked playfully.
Nico laughed and shook his head. “Lew, we can not live off pizza, also I do not know if I will be there next race weekend. My parents were thinking about not going to the race weekend next week, because they are afraid of the truth coming out. It would be suspicious if I would show up every race and not race even though I seem healthy. Also what if im starting to show? I do not know if I will be there, Lewis.”
Lewis lowered his head visibly disappointed, even though he knew that Nico would not be able to watch all of his races he did not know it could come so early. But he knew it was the right thing to do.
He smiled and squeezed Nico's hand again. “It is ok. We will do that together.”
Nico looked back. “Together.”
They walked home like that, just two boys in the quiet streets, hands intertwined, full stomachs and full hearts, the kind of small moment no one else would ever see.
But for them it was a moment they would remember forever.
…
The next morning came fast. The pale sunlight was slipping through the half closed curtains, they forgot to close completely the night before, when they fell into their beds completely exhausted, pooling in soft stripes across the messy bed sheets. The world outside was already awake, scooters buzzing faintly in the streets below, distant voices drifting through narrow alleys.
Nico woke up first.
A familiar heaviness lingered in his stomach, a doll twist that had become all too familiar these days. At first he tried to ignore it like he always did, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth to avoid the disgusting taste in his mouth.
When he tried to fall back asleep but the nausea had other plans with him and rolled again stronger.
Nico clutched the blanked, “Not again…” He whispered to himself.
Lewis shifted behind him, half asleep. “Mm … you okay, Nico?”
Nico swallowed, then sat up way too quickly. “No. I think I am gonna”
Nico could not finish his sentence.
Lewis was instantly fully awake. “Bathroom. Come on.”
He helped Nico stumble across the dim room, one hand steady on his back. Nico barely made it to the toilet before another wave of nausea hit, Lewis held him while brushing his blond locks away from his forehead, murmuring soft and steady things.
“It is okay, Nico. … breath … I am here, you are okay…”
The worst of it passed after a minute, even though for Nico it always felt much longer than just a minute. He gripped the cold porcelain edge of the toilet, his eyes were closed and his chest heaving.
Lewis reached for a towel nearby and damped it, he gently wiped it along Nico's cheeks. “Better?”
“A little,” Nico whispered, still exhausted.
Lewis wrapped an arm around him, gently guiding him to sit on the floor. Nico rested his forehead on Lewis's shoulder, breathing in the familiar warmth and the steadiness that always grounded him.
“Sorry,” Nico muttered weakly.
“Do not apologize,” Lewis said immediately. “You are doing amazing, Nico.”
Nico looked up at him, even though his eyes looked tired and his skin was pale because of the nausea, he tried to form a soft smile. “You are too good to me, Lewis. You do not have to do that.”
Lewis huffed a quiet laugh. “Well, someone has to balance out your dramatic moments. And I have to do that, Nico. You are my boyfriend. You are having our child. I love you, Nico.”
Nico nudged him weakly with his knee. "Shut up. I just vomited. Stop being so romantic.”
Lewis smiled and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on Nico's lips. “You can punch me later. Right now let's just get you standing.”
They stayed like this for a moment, again, this morning was the kind of morning that neither of them would have ever imagined months ago. It was scary, strange and somehow it was full of a quiet closeness that made the world feel small and warm.
Nico finally stood, brushing his teeth, trying to regain some normalcy, even though these mornings were almost normal to him. Waking up and feeling how the nausea hit. Lewis leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed and still watching him like he would break if he blinked too long.
When Nico finished, he turned towards Lewis and moved into his space, laying his head on Lewis’s chest, feeling how Lewis's arms wrapped around him almost instinctively.
Nico kissed him.
Soft, tired, warm.
The kind of kiss that said thank you and I am scared and I need you all at once.
Lewis kissed him back immediately. He was gentle, careful and as if he knew Nico was still a little shaky. Nico leaned into him again, breathing him in and finally feeling how the nausea subsided completely.
As Nico raised his head, willing to kiss Lewis again, a knock on the door of the hotel room interrupted them.
“Boys?” Keke’s voice rang through the door. “Breakfast in fifteen minutes … are you already awake?”
They froze.
Lewis stepped back so fast he nearly tipped over the edge of the rug. Nico pressed a hand over his mouth to stop the laughter bubbling in his chest.
“I swear he has timing powers,” Lewis whispered to Nico.
Nico grinned and whispered back, “He definitely does.”
Keke knocked again, this time more impatient. “Boys I hope you are awake, breakfast ends in 45 minutes. Also you have to pack for the flight.”
Nico cleared his through. “Yeah! Just … waking up!”
Nico shoved Lewis's shoulder lightly before he left, opening the door for his father, followed by Lewis.
Keke stood there in a polo shirt looking at the expensive watch on his wrist. His eyes flickered briefly from Nico's pale face to Lewis's kind of swollen lips and then back again, a knowing expression on his face, but in a soft and fatherly kind of way.
“You look pale,” Keke said immediately, looking into his son's face. “Morning sickness again?”
Nico nodded. “A little. It is better now.”
Keke did not push, he did not question the details, knowing Nico's daily fight with the pregnancy. He simply squeezed Nico's upper arm and said, “Come eat something, hm? Even frosties."
“Ja, Papa.”
Keke gave a small nod, then looked at Lewis. “You too. Anthony is already downstairs complaining about the small amount of coffee."
Lewis laughed. “Sounds like him.”
“We leave in two hours,” Keke added, tapping against the glass of the watch. “So do not take long and remember to have your bags packed.”
When he walked away they closed the door again and Lewis let out a massive breath. “I actually thought I was going to pass out.”
Nico chuckled. “Why? Lewis I am pregnant they know what we did.”
“Still, it is embarrassing. He definitely suspected something.”
“We were not doing anything wrong.”
“We were kissing.”
Nico raised his eyebrows playfully. “And? We are allowed. Lewis we fucked and they know it.”
Lewis opened his mouth, just to close it again, defeated. “… okay, fair.”
Nico slipped his fingers through Lewis's for a second, squeezing them lightly. “Come on. Let's not keep them waiting. Or maybe they will suspect we are doing way worse than kissing.”
…
The hotel restaurant smelled of croissants, coffee and warm sour dough. Anthony was already on his third coffee, drumbling about the small sizes of the cups. Keke sat next to Anthony at the table leaving the bench in front of them empty for Nico and Lewis. He reviewed the travel schedules for the next month with a pair of reading glasses sitting low on his nose.
“There you two are, I was about to go a second time looking for you, boys.” Keke said when Nico and Lewis approached. “Hungry?”
Lewis nodded and pulled Nico on to the bench next to him. Nico grabbed the bowl of milt that Keke already prepared from him as well as another bowl full of Frosties. As he mixed the cereal he tried to not look as exhausted as he felt.
Anthony glanced at them over the rim of his cup. “You sleep okay?”
Lewis shrugged. "More or less.”
Nico tried to not laugh onto his orange juice.
They ate quietly for a few minutes until Keke set down his fork and cleared his throat.
“Alright,” he said. “We have news.”
“Good news.” Anthony added, folding his arms.
Lewis looked up. “Yeah?”
Keke gave Anthony a small nod, letting him speak first.
Anthony leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Lewis and I will not fly back to England. Instead we will fly to Monaco together with you. So we can figure something out to say to the media and what will happen when the pregnancy will progress, so you and Nico will be together.”
Lewis and Nico froze mid bite.
“What? Really?”
Anthony nodded. “Yes. I talked with your mom and Linda about it. For a while. We agreed it is the best thing to do for the three of you.”
Lewis stared at him with disbelief, then glanced at Nico, eyes bright with a sudden and almost child like relief. Nico felt warmth bloom in his chest when he heard that Lewis would come back to Monaco with him. Knowing he would not be alone with the pregnancy until the next race weekend.
Keke continued, “It makes sense. You boys are attached and Anthony and I need to coordinate a lot.. well to be honest, everything. Schedules, explanations, support.”
Nico's hand grabbed Lewis's under the table.
“And before I forget," Keke said with a mysterious grin on his face. “Sina told me this morning she booked the next doctor's appointment for next week.”
Lewis's eyes widened in excitement when he heard what Keke just said. Nico looked at his boyfriend. Finally he could completely share with Lewis the things he experienced. They would hear the heart beat together for the first time.
Nico was not on his own anymore.
Lewis would be there. Lewis was there.
They would be there together.
Listening to their baby's heartbeat while Lewis would hold Nico's hands.
Nico could not wait for that appointment to arrive.
He was more than excited to see how the baby developed.
Also Nico really wanted a new ultrasound picture he could keep in his pockets. The one he had was already pretty damaged, folds and creases decorated the paper and the little gray dot on the paper was barely visible.
…
The flight back to Monaco was quiet. Nico had let his head sink on Lewis's shoulders but he knew it wasn't possible because they were in public.
…
The doctor's appointment was set for Wednesday. The morning was exhausting, dealing with the morning sickness and being at the hospital at the right time.
The streets of Monaco slid past the car windows, sunlit and familiar, but Nico barely registered them. His hands rested in his lap, fingers loosely intertwined and his thumbs worrying the edge of his sleeve.
Nine weeks, the size of a grape.
He kept repeating it to himself like a fragile truth that might shatter if he did not hold it carefully enough.
Lewis sat beside him on the back seat, close without crowding, his knee pressed lightly against Nico’s. He had not let go of Nico’s hand since they had left the apartment. Not when they climbed into the car, not when they stopped at a red light, not even when Nico’s grip tightened unconsciously every few minutes.
Sina sat in the front at the driver's seat, occasionally glancing back at them through the rearview mirror.
Nico’s stomach rolled faintly, a lingering echo of the morning sickness that had finally eased an hour ago. He swallowed, breathing slowly, grounding himself.
The car pulled outside the clinic , the same understated building as before, clean lines, glass doors, nothing dramatic. Nico’s heartbeat picked up instantly.
This was where everything had first become real. Where he first saw his child, where he first heard his baby. Their baby, his and Lewis's. Something he would never forget, it was something that had a special place in the middle of his heart.
Inside the air was cool and smelled faintly of disinfectant and something floral Nico could not quite place. The waiting room was quiet, safe for the murmur of another couple speaking softly in the corner.
The womb of the woman had grown big and the man's hand was softly placed on it. Their faces glowed with excitement.
Nico looked at them with a little jealousy looking at his own womb that did not really show yet, but if one looked correctly one would see that there was something already. Nico knew he and Lewis would never be able to be like that in public, they simply could not.
They checked in. Nico recognized the receptionist this time, which made his stomach twist and settle all at once. This time he was not afraid, he was excited, excited to see that little life growing inside of him, hearing the heartbeat once again.
Familiar meant routine. Routine meant normal.
They sat together, he was not alone anymore, Lewis was there, with him. Lewis’s arm brushed Nico’s, their knees touching. Nico stared at the floor tiles, counting his breaths, until the nurse called his name.
“Nico Rosberg?”
His chest tightened. “That’s me.”
Lewis stood immediately. “I am coming with him.”
The nurse smiled knowingly. “Of course.”
Sina rose as well, placing a gentle hand between Nico’s shoulder blades as they followed her down the hallway. “You are doing great,” she said softly.
The examination room looked exactly the same as before.Same pale walls. Same muted artwork. Same ultrasound machine, waiting quietly in the corner.
But now he understood that feeling, this room was clearly not built for sickness, this room was built for beginnings. A beginning of that miracle life he and Lewis created, something new, something that would bind them together for eternity.
Nico sat on the edge of the exam table, heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat. Lewis stayed standing at first, then moved closer instinctively, as if drawn there by gravity alone.
Doctor Laurent entered moments later, her expression warm and familiar. “Nico, welcome back.”
Nico smiled faintly. “Hi.”
“It’s good to see you again,” she continued, then turned to Lewis and Sina. “And you must be the father, am I right?”
Lewis nodded quickly, his dark cheeks blushing. “Yes. Hi.”
“Now, Nico, how have things been since we last saw each other? You are at nine weeks right now, aren't you?”
Nico took a breath. “I’ve been… sick in the mornings. I'm really tired. Sometimes I get dizzy.”
The doctor nodded, jotting notes. “Any pain? Bleeding?”
“No,” Nico said quickly. “Nothing like that.”
“That’s good.” The doctor looked up. “Everything you’re describing is very typical for this stage.”
Typical. Normal.
The words settled into Nico’s chest, easing some invisible tension. These were not the words he would describe his condition at the moment. He still felt untypical, abnormal, he was a pregnant boy. He was pregnant, something she never expected to be.
Lewis glanced at him. “He’s been trying to eat, even when he feels awful.”
Nico rolled his eyes weakly. “He watches me like a hawk.”
Lewis smiled. “Someone has to.”
Doctor Laurent chuckled. “Sounds like a good support system.”
Nico felt his ears warm.
“Alright,” she said gently. “Let’s take a look.”
Nico lay back on the table, nerves spiking instantly. Lewis moved without thinking, stepping closer to him, taking Nico’s hand again. Sina stood near Nico’s head, her presence grounding.
The gel was familiar cold when it touched Nico’s skin, even though it still made him flinch.
“Sorry,” doctor Laurent murmured.
“It’s okay,” Nico whispered, though his breathing had already gone shallow.
The machine hummed softly. The screen flickered to life.
Nico stared at it, his heart pounding. The image was blurry at first, shapes and shadows that meant nothing to him. His mind spiraled.
What if something’s wrong? What if there’s nothing there?
Lewis squeezed his hand. “Hey. Look at me, Nico.”
Nico turned his head slightly. Lewis’s expression was steady, open, completely present. “I’m right here,” Lewis said quietly. “Whatever happens, we are doing this together.”
Nico swallowed hard and nodded.
Then doctor Laurent smiled.
“There,” she said softly.
Nico’s breath caught. “Where?”
Laurent adjusted the angle, turning the screen more toward them. “That small shape. And that flicker.”
Lewis leaned in, eyes wide. “Is that?”
“Yes,” Doctor Laurent said. “That is the heartbeat.”
And suddenly, the sound filled the room.
Fast. Strong. Unmistakably alive.
Nico felt it like a physical blow to the chest. His breath stuttered, a sob tearing out of him before he could stop it. Tears blurred his vision as he pressed his free hand over his mouth.
“Oh,” Lewis breathed, his voice breaking completely. “Oh my god.”
Tears streamed freely down Lewis’s face as he stared at the screen, frozen. “That’s… that’s real.”
Doctor Laurent nodded gently. “Very real. And very healthy for nine weeks.”
Sina inhaled sharply behind them. Nico felt her hand tremble on his shoulder.
The heartbeat kept going, steady, relentless, proof of something growing inside him.
Nico laughed softly through his tears, overwhelmed. “Did you hear it?” he whispered to Lewis, like he was afraid it might vanish if he spoke too loudly.
Lewis nodded, crying openly now. “Yeah. I hear it.”
He squeezed Nico’s hand like he was anchoring himself to the moment. “That’s… that’s our baby.”
The words sent another wave of emotion crashing through Nico. Our. Not just his fear, his burden, but theirs.
The doctor let the moment stretch, unhurried.
“Everything looks excellent,” she said finally. “Growth is right on track. Their heart rate is strong.”
Nico closed his eyes briefly, letting relief wash over him.
When the scan ended, doctor Laurent cleaned the gel away and handed Nico a new printout. The image was clearer this time, more defined. Real.
“You’re doing very well,” the doctor said. “Continue resting, eating when you can, and listening to your body. And try, if possible, to let yourselves feel hopeful.”
Nico and Lewis have always been rivals on the track, behind the eyes of the world they were so much more.
Nights of extasy leading to something bigger no one expected. Too young to be fully aware of the consequences.
In a life whre every second counts, can Nico and Lewis find a way to keep their secret safe and their hearts open?
Or will the pressure of fame, expectation, and a new generation force them off the track forever?
Hi guys I was thinking about doing a tag list or something from now on for the next chapters cause I’ve seen other writers do that, who would be interested in that and should I do it?
If someone’s interested to be on the taglist just leave a comment or send me a message:))
Outside, Monaco's lights glimmered softly against the sea and the world felt impossibly far away. Too bright, too distant to touch the quiet that had settled inside Rosberg's home.
Nico and Lewis still sat on the couch in the living room, Lewis had an arm around Nico who leaned into his boyfriend's touch, the ultrasound picture still on the coffee table in front of them. They had already eaten lunch together, and after they’d decided to go back to the sofa to cuddle and talk, while Nico’s parents sat with Anthony, talking about the future.
With time, Nico began to grow tired, his eyes kept drifting open and shut. He looked up at Lewis who was also losing the battle of sleep. Lewis nodded, so Nico shifted to stand up.
His parents noticed the movement and looked in the direction of the two boys. “Goodnight Mom, Dad, Anthony. Lewis and I are going to bed.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You both are not going to sleep in one bed. This is not going to happen.” Anthony interrupted them as they tried to leave the room.
“But why dad?” Lewis looked at his dad, apparently he felt like questioning his authority.
"Why? I am not going to let you guys sleep in the same room and give you the occasion to do whatever you guys do,” he said as if it was a normal thing to do.
“Well, I'm already pregnant, so I don't think there is anything worse that could happen at this point,” Nico entered the conversation.
Lewis let out a little giggle, the memory of what they did in Belgium crossing his mind. What they did that resulted in this whole mess, Nico pregnant.
“Anthony, Nico is right, there is nothing anymore that could happen,” Keke looked at his son. “But I hope I don't hear anything out of your room.”
The couple blushed. It was the most embarrassing situation he’d ever experienced, realizing his parents knew what he did, what they did.
The last few days he’d been too busy realizing that there was really something growing inside him, how Lewis would react. He totally forgot about the fact his parents now knew he wasn’t their perfect little pure boy anymore. They knew he lost his virginity.
Red as a tomato, Nico dragged Lewis through the hallway to his bedroom, shutting the door as soon as they were both inside.
…
In Nico's room, Nico laid on his bed. The ultrasound picture was back on the wall next to the picture of Lewis and him. The blanket was pulled loosely around him, while he was staring at the ceiling. The echo of everything that just happened, the looks, the words, the weight of their parents voices, still circled in his mind like slow waves.
Lewis was beside him, his hands laid on Nico's small womb and Nico could feel the warmth of him.
For a long time, neither of them spoke. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. It was full, thick, of unspoken promises, promises to their future, to their child, to their career, to their relationship. It was all something that Nico could really believe in, now that Lewis was here and involved.
Lewis exhaled, his voice soft in the dim light. “I still can't believe it,” he murmured, rubbing over Nico's little womb. “That this is real.”
Nico smiled faintly, tired. “Yeah. Me neither.”
Lewis looked into Nico's eyes, watching him. “How far along are you?”
“Five to six weeks,” Nico said. “The doctors weren't exactly sure. But its heart already started beating and it's about as big as a pea.” He trailed off, eyes flicking toward the photo hanging on his wall, the same photo of that little pea that caused everything to unfold.
Lewis followed his gaze, staring at the faint gray blur captured on paper. “That’s… That's really it huh? And you're already comparing it to fruit?”
“Yeah,” Nico smiled a bit. “It helps me realize it's real sometimes, because it is. It's there developing inside of me.”
Lewis swallowed hard. “Do you ever look at it and just-” He stopped, searching for the right word.
“Get scared?” Nico offered.
Lewis let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah. That.”
Nico cuddled himself closer to Lewis. “All the time. Since the moment I found out, really.”
The words came out quieter than he meant, almost a confession. “Every morning. Every night. I don't even know what is going to happen next week, let alone the mere future and now there is someone who depends on me completely.”
Lewis's voice lowered. “Someone who depends on us. You're not alone anymore Nico.”
That made Nico's chest tighten, not with fear this time, but something gentler, heavier. “Us,” he repeated, testing the word like it was new. The day was so long and full of new reactions, he now finally realized the whole day.
Lewis smiled a little, though it did not quite reach his eyes. “When I told my dad I’d be fine, I do not think he believed me.”
“He will,” Nico said quietly. “He just needs time. We all need time.”
Lewis nodded, staring up at the ceiling again. “And your parents?”
“They are better, they are fully supporting me. But sometimes I am not quite sure if it's support or guilt, they feel guilty for not telling me the truth about my body.” Nico smiled weakly. “My dad is already making plans on how I can go back to karting. My mom is emotional all the time, I think he is kinda excited for her grandchild though.”
Lewis chucklet softly. “Sounds like her.”
For a while they just laid there and listened to the muffled hum of the city below, the faint sound of waves rolling against the coast.
Then Lewis said, “Do you ever wonder what it will be like? When it is actually here?”
Nico blinked. “All the time,” he admitted. “Sometimes I imagine it will have your eyes. Or your smile. Then I panic, because I realize I don't even know how to hold a baby, or change diapers.”
Lewis smiled faintly. “I guess we will have to learn it.”
Nico looked at him, really looked, and saw how tired Lewis was. The day had worn both of them thin. The uncertainty, the weight of expectation, the way their whole future had just shifted overnight.
“Thank you” Nico said suddenly.
Lewis frowned. “For what?”
“For not walking out, for staying with me, with me and the baby.” Nico said simply.
Lewis pulled him closer. “I told you,” he said quietly. “We will figure it out together. I am not going anywhere.”
There was something in the way he said it, steady, sincere, that made Nico's throat tighten.
“Promise?” he asked softly.
Lewis nodded. “Promise. Always."
Nico smiled faintly, blinking back tears he did not expect. "Okay."
The lamp on the bedside table threw a warm, golden glow across the room softening the edges of everything.
For a while they lay there in the quiet. a kind of quiet that feels like safety, even if it is only for a night.
Lewis breathing evened out first, slow and steady. Nico listened to it, watching the shadowed ceiling until his own eyes grew heavy, his sleep came gently and his dreams were not full of fear, he dreamed of the potential happy ending with Lewis and their child.
…
The first thing Nico felt the next morning was the sun shining through his window. It slid through the curtains in long golden stripes, spilling over his face and across the rumpled sheets. The air in his room was soft and still, touched by the faint scent of salt drifting from the sea below the window.
He lay there for a moment, eyes half open, trying to remember what day it was, what life it was. Everything felt dreamlike, the soft weight of the blanket, the quiet hum of the waking up city outside, the warmth at his side.
Then he felt a movement next to him. For a moment he was confused and then he remembered.
Lewis.
Lewis was still there.
The thought made something inside him loosen and ache all at once. He turned at the sight, Lewis still asleep beside him, his hand was loosely draped across Nico's waist like he was afraid of letting go.
Nico's chest filled with a strange overwhelming warmth, a kind of love that was both terrifying and peaceful. He did not know when it had become this deep, this necessary. But now that it had, he could not imagine anything else.
Then the nausea hit.
It started like a flutter, then grew into a sharp twist low in his stomach. Nico groaned softly, pressing a hand to his lips as he sat up. The movement made Lewis stir.
“Nico?” Lewis's voice was thick with sleep, rough and gentle. “You okay?”
Nico shook his head already sliding out of the bed. “Bathroom,” he managed to say, covering his mouth while he ran for the bathroom.
By the time he reached the toilet, the wave had fully hit him. He barely made it in time. The sound echoed softly in the tiled room, followed by the faucet running, the quiet gasp of breath between it all.
Moments later, the food creaked open just a little. Lewis stood there, air wild, wearing one of Nico's shirts. “Are you sure you are okay?” he asked, worried heavily etched in his eyes.
Nico managed a weak laugh. “Yeah. I love mornings now.”
Lewis winced. “That bad?”
“Worse,” Nico said, wiping his mouth and sitting down on the cool tiles. “Feels like my stomach’s trying to win a championship.”
Lewis crouched down beside him, wordless for a second. Then softly, “Can I do something?”
“Not unless you can stop gravity.”
Lewis smiled a little and handed him a glass of water, he filled up Nico's toothbrush cup. “Hydration pit stop?”
Nico took it, the faintest smile tugging at his lips. “You are such a dork.”
“I will take that,” Lewis said, quietly proud just to make him smile again.
They sat there for a while in the still light of the bathroom, Nico was pale and shaky but calmer none, Lewis beside him like a quiet anchor. The silence was not awkward, it was full of something else.
Finally, Nico sighed. “I am sorry you have to see this part.”
Lewis frowned. "Don't be stupid, Nico. I want to see this part. I want to support you and help you, we do that together. All of it.”
“Even vomiting?”
“Especially the vomiting,” Lewis said, dead serious, then grinned when Nico laughed. “We have to do this together, Nico. This is a part of it.”
Nico shook his head, chuckling weakly. “You are impossible.”
“But you love me anyway,” Lewis said softly.
Nico froze for a heartbeat. Then, just softly, “Yeah. I do.”
Lewis looked at him then and the air between them changed. There was not anything rushed or uncertain about it. Just two people, both a little scared, both clinging to the only truth that still made sense.
…
By the time they emerged from the bathroom, the apartment had begun to stir. Sina's voice floated from the kitchen, warm and rhythmic. The smell of toast and fruit filled the air.
Sina's warm voice was drowned out by Kekes and Anthony's voices already in full discussion.
Keke stood by the counter gesturing with a mug of coffee as Anthony listened, nodding occasionally, though his expression was still a miy of disbelief and reluctant admiration.
“... and the sponsors won't know,” Keke was saying, “We will keep the media out of it. No one will know. They are young, it's private and it stays that way.”
Anthony exhaled slowly. “I am grateful, Keke. I really am, I just don't want either of them losing what they have worked for.”
“They won't," Keke said firmly. “They will race, they will learn and they will grow up. That's all.”
When the boys entered, both men looked up. Anthony's expression softened immediately at the sight of Lewis and Keke gave Nico a quick knowing smile. Sina handed Nico and Lewis a glass of juice, while Anthony clapped his son slightly on the shoulder.
“Morning boys,” Anthony said. “Feeling alright?”
Lewis nodded. “Yeah. We are okay.”
Anthony hesitated, then said, “Look, son.. I was harsh yesterday. I should not have said what I did. You are still my boy and this doesn't change that. It just means we have got a bit more to figure out together.”
Lewis's lips curved into a small relieved smile. “Thanks, Dad.”
Nico watched the exchange quietly, his heart full. Seeing Lewis and Anthony like that, the bond still intact, still strong, gave him a sense of peace he had not realized he needed.
Sina leaned against the counter, smiling faintly.
The breakfast went well, with everyone adjusting to Nico’s announcement.
Later, when the adults drifted onto the balcony with their coffee and tea, Nico and Lewis slipped onto the couch, sitting close enough their knees brushed. Outside the harbour shimmered under the late morning sun.
Lewis tilted his head toward him. “Are you still scared?”
“All the time,” Nico nodded. “But it's not like before. It's different now. Like I know it is going to be hard, but I am not alone. You are with me.”
“You are never alone, Nico.” Lewis said quietly. “Your parents are here for you and so am I.”
They fell into silence again, the comfortable kind. The future was still uncertain, full of circuits, press, whispers and sleepless nights, but it felt like something they could face together. As a couple. As parents.
…
The day slipped faster than either of them wanted.
It started in chaos, with tears, confessions and heavy truths dropped in the middle of the Rosbergs’ living room and it ended with a fragile sort of peace. The parents had talked late into the nights, plans whispered over coffee and tired sighs. By Saturday evening the world outside Monaco seemed quieter and smaller.
But the calm could not last forever.
Lewis had to go back to England, his flight was already the next morning. Anthony was already packing up in the guest room and the golden evening light that flooded the apartment felt like the last scene of something.
Nico sat on his bed while Lewis packed his stuff, his legs were curled under him, staring at the ultrasound picture in his hands.
Lewis came and let himself fall next to him. “You are doing that thing again,” he murmured.
Nico glanced next to him. “What thing?”
“The staring. Like it is going to tell you something new if you look long enough.”
A small smile tugged at Nico's lips. “Maybe it will.”
For a moment neither of them spoke. There was no need to. The air between them was full of unspoken things, promises made in the quiet, goodbyes they hadn't yet said.
“Are you nervous?" Lewis finally said.
“About what?”
“About next weekend. The race.”
Nico hesitated. “A bit. It will be strange to be there and not be able to race. Just watching you driving.”
Lewis nodded slowly. “Yeah. But I am glad you will be there. I don’t… I don't think I could do this if you were not. It was strange last weekend to drive without you.”
Nico's glaze softened. “You would, You always do. Even though I was not there last weekend you did amazing and won.”
Lewis smiled faintly. “Maybe. But it will be easier if I know you are watching.”
They sat there for a long time, the light fading from gold to a deep blue. Somewhere in the kitchen the boys could hear Sina quietly move and in the living room next to Nico's room they could hear their fathers speaking about travel plans.
There was no tension, no shouting, no fear. Just quiet.
But the quiet made the thought of losing it harder to bear.
Lewis shifted, his hand brushing lightly against Nicos. “You okay?”
Nico swallowed hard. “Yeah. Just thinking.”
“About?”
He hesitated, then said softly, “You leaving.”
Lewis's expression softened. “It is only for a few days.”
“I know. But it feels like more.”
Lewis nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah. I know what you mean.”
They fell silent again. Nico leaned his head against Lewis's shoulder, eyes half closed. The hum of the city outside mixed with the hum sound of the waves.
Nico did not want the moment to end.
When the clock in the hallway chimed ten, Sina knocked on the door, opening it just a little bit looking inside the room. “You boys should get some rest,” she said gently. “Anthony wants to leave early tomorrow, to catch the flight.”
Lewis sighed. “Right.”
Nico got up with him to get ready for bed, they had their own quiet, unspoken routine that had formed in just a few days. Inside, the air was cooler, faintly scented with sea air from the open window.
Later Lewis sat on the edge of Nico's bed, running a hand over his buzz cut. “Feels weird,” he said softly. “Leaving when everything just started to make sense again. I don't wanna leave you here and the baby.”
Nico smiled weakly. “That is life, isn't it?”
Lewis looked up at him, something like worry flickering in his eyes. “You will be okay here?”
Nico nodded, “Yeah. Even though I was pissed at my parents at first, they are so supportive. I haven't fully forgiven them for not telling me but it's better now.”
Nico who stood so far away now sat down on Lewis's lap, looking deeply into his eyes. Then leaned in and pressed his lips against Nico’s, a gesture that said everything words could not.
Lewis loosened the kiss. “Next weekend,” he murmured. “I promise, Nico.”
“Promise,” Nico echoed, leaning back in to kiss his boyfriend again.
And when Lewis finally pulled away, Nico felt the absence like a physical ache.
The next morning came too soon.
The sun was not even up yet when Nico woke to the sound of his bedroom door closing. He threw on a sweatshirt of Lewis’s that was on the floor, he padded barefoot through the apartment, catching the faint murmur of voices Anthony thanking Keke, Lewis laughing softly, trying not to wake anyone.
But Nico was already there leaning in the hallway, “Leaving without saying goodbye?”
Lewis turned, startled then grinned. “You were sleeping so peacefully, I did not want to wake you up, you need that sleep Nico.”
“As if I could sleep.”
They met halfway across the room, Lewis reached out and hesitated for a heartbeat, then pulled Nico into a hug, firm, long and grounding.
“I will call you as soon as we land,” Lewis said against his shoulder. “As long as you decide to take my call this time.”
“You better call.”
Anthony cleared his throat gently near the food. “It is time to go, Lewis.”
Lewis nodded disappointed, stepping back. He smiled at Nico, a small, tired smile, full of everything that left unsaid. “See you next weekend, alright?”
“Yeah,” Nico whispered, leaning toward Lewis pressing a small gentle kiss on his lips. “I will be there.”
Then Lewis was gone.
The door closed and the apartment suddenly felt too big and too quiet. Sina appeared behind him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “You will see him again soon,” she said softly.
Nico nodded, but his chest felt hollow. He went back to his room, laying in his bed when the tears began to fall. He cuddled himself into Lewis's sweatshirt, inhaling the calming smell of his boyfriend. Even when the Monégasque air went too hot for a sweater, he kept wearing it.
…
The days after felt slow, heavy with the kind of waiting that makes time move differently.
Keke spent the most of his time calling Anthony and arranging race details, while Sina hovered protectively, making sure Nico ate, slept and did not overthink too much, which he, of course, did anyway.
Every time his phone buzzed, his heart jumped.
Lewis called every night, sometimes just to talk about practice sessions, sometimes about nothing at all. They laughed, they argued about silly things and every time Lewis hung up with, "Goodnight Nico, I love you both.” It felt like a little piece of normalcy coming back.
Even though nothing truly felt normal.
Not when Nico walked past his kart in the garage that already started to catch dust, his hands itching for the steering wheel. Not when he caught his reflection, the faint roundness that had not been there before, the subtle reminder that life was changing whether he liked it or not.
By the time the race weekend came, his nerves were on the edge.
…
Lewis's flight home was quiet.
Anthony had drifted off beside him, head titled back, cap pulled low. The steady hum of the engines filled the space between them.
Lewis sat by the window and was staring out at the clouds. His mind was still in Monaco next to Nico.
Nico's last kiss lingered behind his eyelids every time he blinked and he was still able to feel Nico's lips on his. Lewis had not forgotten a single thing. He never could.
He had spent the entire flight replaying it, the kiss in Nico's room, the moment he found out, the conversation they had on the couch in the Rosbergs living room. The little piece of paper he held in his hands, knowing this was his child.
They landed in London just past noon. The airport was gray and crowded, the air heavy with the kind of damp chill Monaco never had.
The first thing Lewis did was call Nico, who finally picked up the phone after last week, when he didn't answer the phone, when Lewis called him for the hundredth time.
Anthony was already checking messages on his phone as they talked. When they hung up, the father son duo walked through the arrival halls. Anthony talked about the many things they were supposed to do before the next race weekend. Lewis just nodded automatically.
Anthony slowed his pace, glancing sideways at his son. “You are quiet.”
“Just tired,” Lewis said, deep inside his soul he already missed Nico and their unborn child.
Anthony gave a small nod, but his eyes lingered. “You are thinking about Nico, aren't you?”
Nico froze mid step. “What makes you say that?”
His father smiled faintly, “Because you always look like that after you have seen him, Like your head is still somewhere else. I should have recognized earlier that you two are more than just friends.”
Lewis tried to hide the redness in his face and failed. “Maybe.”
Anthony's tone softened. “I get it, you know. What's happening is bigger than either of you and bigger than either of you should have had to handle right now. But you are doing okay, Lewis. Better than I would have ever expected. Well, I never expected it to happen so early and also not with the son of Keke Rosberg."
Lewis raised a brow. “Is that your way of saying you are proud of me?”
Anthony smirked. “Dont push your luck.”
By the time they reached home, the sky had darkened into that familiar English blue gray. The Hamiltons' small house smelled like clean laundry and roast chicken. It was warm, cluttered, alive and after the sleek calm of Monaco, it almost felt unreal.
Carmen was in the kitchen talking to Linda when they came in. They turned as soon as soon as she saw them, her face lighting up.
“Lewis!” she said "You're back home. How was the weekend with Nico?”
Lewis had no time to drop his bag before she wrapped him in a hug.
He grinned, hugging her back, deep inside of him he felt a bit anxious about telling her, but he knew she would accept it somehow.
Anthony passed by them kissing Linda's cheek who stood behind them.
“Go put your things into your room,” Carmen said smiling. “Linda and I will serve the food.”
Lewis headed upstairs, dropping his stuff in his room. It looked smaller than he remembered, his posters peeling slightly at the corners, his karting helmet on the shelf like a replica from another life.
He sat on the edge of his bed staring at it. The room was safe, familiar, but part of him felt like he did not fit in anymore. Something was missing. Someone was missing. Nico was missing.
His Nokia buzzed.
Nico: Ur home safe?
Lewis smiled instantly.
Lewis: Yeah. Just got in. My mum and my step mum are already making food. I haven't told them yet.
Nico: How are you feeling?
Lewis: Tired. I miss you.
Nico: I miss you too. And the baby does too.
Lewis: I can't wait for next weekend.
Nico: Me too.
He stared at the screen for a long while after Nico's last message, his thumb hovering over the keyboard before he finally set it down. His chest felt tight, with Nico not being with him.
How was he supposed to tell his mum and his step mum, how could he say, I am in love with Nico, he is having my baby, we are scared but we are trying together.
The words did not even sound real in his own head.
The meal was calm, almost too calm. Anthony gave him constant looks, trying to signalize him to tell the truth of their trip.
“So Monaco treated you both well then?” Carmen asked, serving a spoon of vegetables.
Anthony chuckled. “Monaco treated us fine. The Rosbergs took good care of us.”
Lewis smiled faintly. “Yeah. They are … really kind.”
Linda nodded. "That's good. I always liked Keke when he was racing. A bit wild, but he's got a good heart.”
“He’s been incredible,” Anthony said, voice softening. “Stepped up more than I expected.”
Carmen and Linda looked between them, curiosity sparking. “You two sound like something serious happened.” Carmen said after a short silence.
Lewis froze. His fork hovered mid-air. He swallowed. The look in his fathers eyes told him, he should tell them.
“Its nothing bad,” Lewis said quickly. “No one's hurt.”
Carmen looked at Lewis. “Then what?”
Lewis took a deep breath. “Mum, Linda,... there is something I need to tell you.”
The words came out steadier than he felt. His hands were shaking under the table.
Both of their eyes softened immediately. “Alright,” Linda said. “Tell us.”
He hesitated. “You remember Nico, right?”
“Of course,” his mother said. “Nico Rosberg. Lovely boy, Very polite. Your best friend, of course I remember him.” Linda nodded in approval.
Lewis nodded. “Yeah. He is .. He is more than just my best friend.”
Silence.
Anthony watched them closely. Linda's brows knit together, “What do you mean, ‘more’?”
Lewis's voice was barely a whisper. “We are … together. Like Boyfriend and Boyfriend together.”
The room stilled. The only sound was the faint hum of the refrigerator.
Carmen blinked once, twice. “Oh,” she said softly. “Oh.”
Anthony reached out, covering Linda's hand gently. “I also only found out recently,” he said. “It is a lot.” But they care about each other. And-” He paused, glancing at his son.
Lewis nodded, heart pounding, “There is more.”
Carmen turned to him slowly, her expression unreadable. “Go on.”
“Nico’s, … he is pregnant.”
The word hung heavy in the air. For a second, no one breathed.
Then Linda let out a soft, stunned laugh, the kind people make when they are trying to understand something impossible. “I am sorry,” she said gently, eyes flickering between them. “I must have misheard. Did you just say-?” Carmen started.
Lewis nodded quickly. "Yeah. It is true. He and his parents went to a clinic. It's real. There was something his parents did not tell him, until they found out he was pregnant. We did not know this could happen.”
Her hand went to her mouth. “Oh my God.”
Anthony reached for Linda's hand again. “We have already talked with Sina and Keke. They are supportive. Keke’s helping handle things. financially and medically. They have been incredible.”
Linda's eyes filled with tears she didn't quite let fall, “He is just a child,” she whispered.
“So am I,” Lewis said quietly.
That broke something in Carmen. She looked at him and saw not just her son, but the boy trying to be older than he should.
She stood up and went to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Oh, sweetheart,” she whispers, “What are you two going to do?”
Lewis clung to her like he did not since he was small. “We are figuring it out. Together. We don't know anything yet. But I will continue karting and he will come back as soon as he can. But I want to be there. For him. For the baby.”
Linda's voice shook. “You are seventeen, Lewis.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But I love him.”
The honesty in his voice made Anthony close his eyes for a moment, Carmen's arms tightened.
When she pulled back, her face was wet, but her expression had softened into something steadier.
“You said he has support?” Linda asked quietly.
“Yeah.” Lewis said. “His parents are amazing. They are helping us keep it quiet for now, but he is scared. I am scared. I think he feels like he is losing everything.”
Linda nodded slowly. “That makes sense.”
Anthony spoke then, calm and grounded, “We will help too, I already told Keke, whatever they need, we will do our part, But this has to stay under us. No one else can know.”
Both women looked at him sharply, “Of course. We won't tell anyone.”
Lewis exhaled slowly, the tension in his shoulders easing just a little, “Thank you.”
Linda reached across the table, taking his hand, “I don't have to like how hard this will be,” she said. “But we will never stop loving you, Or him. If he is part of your life, then he is part of ours too.”
Lewis's throat tightened, “You mean it?”
Carmen smiled softly. “You really think I would stop being your mum over something like this?”
He laughed shakily. “Maybe for a second.”
She flicked his ear. “Don’t be cheeky.”
The room lightened just enough for all four of them to breathe again.
Later that night, when everyone had gone to bed, Lewis sat by his window, his Nokia in hand, The moonlight spilled across his room.
He called Nico.
It rang twice before Nico's sleepy voice answered, “Lewis?”
“Hey,” he whispered. “Did I wake you?”
“No. I can't sleep anyway, the thoughts about the pregnancy are keeping me awake.”
“I could not sleep either.”
A soft silence followed, it felt comfortable and warm between them.
"How did it go?” Nico asked quietly.
Lewis smiled faintly, “I told them.”
“And?”
“They were shocked, but okay. My mum said … if you are part of my life, than you are part of hers too,”
He could hear Nico's breath catch on the other end. “She said that?”
“Yeah.”
"That's.. wow.”
“Yeah,” Lewis murmured. “You okay?”
“Yeah I'm okay,” Nico said softly. “Better now when I speak with you.”
”Good.”
There was a pause, then Nico whispered, “I miss you,”
Lewis leaned his forehead against the cold glass of his window. “I miss you too, so much it hurts.”
They stayed on the line for a long time, not talking, just listening to earth, others breath, the quiet bridge between two worlds that felt so far apart.
Eventually Nico's breath slowed, He had fallen asleep. Lewis did not hang up. He just sat there watching the moonlight safely, whispering into the empty line.
“I will take care of you. And of the baby. I promise.” he said before he hung up. “I love you so much Nico.”
And in the stillness the promise felt real, fragile, but real.
…
The track in Italy was alive with noise, the engines roaring, mechanics shouting through the paddock and the sharp scent of fuel and rubber hanging thick in the air.
It should have felt like home, like it always did. Instead, It felt like a place he had left behind.
Nico walked through the paddock in his team jacket, the familiar colours catching the morning light.
He was now in his seventh pregnancy week, his baby was already the size of a blueberry, in the morning he was extremely nervous and googling the size of the baby made him feel grounded and calm.
A blueberry. A small little blueberry, everything would be fine.
He pulled his cap low, partly to shield his eyes, partly to avoid the inevitable quotations, why he would take a break from racing.
He did not get far before he heard them.
“Rosberg!” one of the boys called out, Julian, with his usual smirk. “Did not think you would show up. Are you sitting this one out?”
“Yeah,” another added. “Heared you are benched, What did you do, crash one too many times?”
Nico forced a laugh. “Something like that.”
“Shame,” Julian said, grinning. “Could have used that competition.”
“Next time,” Nico said quietly, knowing none of them actually were competition for him, the only competition he had was with Lewis, he walked away before they could say more, he did not have the energy to talk with those idiots.
His chest ached. It wasn't anger, exactly, just a hollow space where the adrenaline used to be.
He found Lewis near the grid, helmet under one arm, talking with one mechanic. When he saw Nico, his whole face lit up.
“You made it.”
“Would not miss it,” Nico said, trying to sound casual, but the sight of Lewis in his race suit, confident, focused, hit him harder than he expected.
Lewis grinned. “Feels weird without you out there.”
“Yeah,” Nico said softly. “Tell me about it.”
They stood side by side, watching the other drivers getting prepared, Lewis's father waved them from the pit wall, calling for him to get ready.
Lewis turned to Nico one last time before pulling on his helmet. “Stay close, yeah?”
“Always.”
Nico saw how Lewis walked away towards his car, he wished for giving him one last kiss but unfortunately they were in public, he had no chance to tell him how much he loved him. Usually, they’d visit each other's drivers rooms before a race.
He gave Anthony one last look until he went back to his Dad who was at the edge of the paddock, talking with some sponsors for their team.
The race started with the usual chaos of engines revving, tires screeching and the blur of color as they flew past. And instead of being on track, like he usually was, he was watching from the edge of the paddock, heart pounding with every lap. It felt right to just watch that spot next to Lewis fighting for the win, that was where he was supposed to be.
He found himself leaning forward instinctively, muscles tensing at every turn, as though he were driving too.
When Lewis crossed the finish line first, the roar of the little crowd filled the air. Their team cheered for their driver and Anthony threw his hands up in the air. Lewis's grin was visible even through the visor.
Nico smiled, clapping along, but the joy stung.
He was proud, so proud of Lewis, but it also hurt, watching from the sidelines knowing he wasn't part of that world anymore, that he wasn't able to race Lewis at first. Seeing Lewis so happy at the podium, knowing he won't stand there anymore made him feel sick.
When Lewis found him after the podium, still flushed with victory, Nico's smile was genuine, but his eyes shimmered with something else.
“You did it,” he said.
Lewis laughed breathlessly, “We did.”
Nico looked at him, shaking his hand with a quiet laugh. “No, you did it. I was just standing here watching you.”
Lewis's smile softened. “Still, I would not have made it without you.”
Nico looked down, swallowing hard. “Yeah. Maybe. But if I would have been on track you would not have won.”
Lewis laughed. “Sure, Nico. We will see as soon as you are back.”
The noise of celebration surrounded them, but for a moment it felt like they were alone, two boys caught between who they were and who they were becoming. Two boys with a world turned upside down, becoming a family.
Lewis reached for Nico's hand in a kind of way so nobody could see them holding hands, briefly squeezing it before anyone could notice. “You will come back and we will have lots of time fighting against each other on track.”
Nico smiled, though his throat felt tight. “Next time.”
But even as he said it, part of him wonders what “next time” would mean, after giving birth he would need some time to rehabilitate.
He looked toward the track, sunlight glinting on the asphalt, the flags fluttering and felt the ache of both love and loss in his chest, but he will come back, he will come back stronger than ever before.
He felt some kind of happiness in his chest, He felt truly happy.
And yet, for the first time, happiness didn't feel the same as winning.
…
Later that day the noise of the race still echoes in Nico's head long after the engines had gone quiet. The air still smelled faintly like rubber, fuel and exhaust, the track was empty only a few teams were there packing up their garages. On the ground there were paper cups scattered, someone forgot to throw them away properly.
Nico pulled his jacket tighter. The faint ache in his chest had nothing to do with cold.
After Lewis's win, that reminded him of everything he was missing, the weight of his helmet, the smell of fuel in the air and the feeling of pure speed burning through his veins.
And for the first time he really realized how much that world still had a hold on him.
Footsteps crunched on the gravel behind him. He turned and expected his father or maybe one of the team staff, but it was Lewis, his buzz cut damp from the post race shower wearing his team jacket half-zipped, still riding the high of the win.
“Thought I would find you here,” he said softly.
Nico smiled faintly. “Congratulations.”
Lewis sat beside him. “Thanks. After my shower I was looking for you but you weren't in my driver's room anymore. You just disappeared.”
“I just needed some air.”
Lewis titles his head, studying him, “You are okay?”
Nico gave a small laugh that didn't quite sound real. “You won. Of course I am okay.”
“Yeah,” Lewis said slowly. “You say that, but you don't look like it.”
Nico did not answer right away. He stared out at the empty track, the white lines glowing under the last bits of light. “It is just strange,” He said finally. “Watching, instead of being out there. It feels like I'm not me anymore.”
Lewis nodded. “I get that.”
“No, you don't," Nico said, his voice quieter and sharper now, but not unkind. “You are still racing. You still have that. You are not pregnant.”
Lewis didn't argue. He just looked at him for a moment, his expression softening. “Maybe. But it doesn't feel right without you out there. I kept looking for your kart, even though I knew you weren't on the grid.”
Nico's throat tightened. “You really mean that?”
Lewis smiled, small but real. “Of course I do, Nico. I am always looking for you.”
They sat in silence for a while, watching the track lights flicker off completely until only the moonlight remained. The world felt paused, the kind of monument that sits on the edge of something bigger.
Finally, Lewis said, “I talked to my Dad earlier. He told me we might be able to stay longer in Monaco next time.”
“Really?” Nico looked up.
“Yeah. He is still adjusting, I think. But Keke has been helping.”
Nico exhaled slowly, some of the tension in his shoulders melting away. "That is good.”
They fell quiet again, the calm king, like the pause between waves.
When Nico finally spoke again, his voice was low. “Do you ever think about what is going to happen? Like really happen?”
Lewis turned toward him. “You mean with us?”
Nico nodded. “Yeah. You will go back to England after every race. I will stay in Monaco. And there is the baby. Our parents. Everything.”
Lewis looked down at his hands, then back at Nico. “Yeah, I think about it all the time.”
“And?”
“And…” he took a deep breath. “I do not know what it's going to look like yet. But I know I want it. With you. All of it. The baby. You. Whatever this is turning into. We will figure it out together.”
Nico looked away quickly, trying not to hide the way his eyes stung. “You make it sound simple.”
Lewis gave a soft laugh. "It's not simple. It's just right.”
The words hung between them, fragile and steady all at once.
Lewis reached out rather than his fingers against Nico’s. It was a small gesture, quiet and full of meaning. Nico did not pull away.
He squeezed back.
Later that night after the paddock had gone completely dark and the transporters had left, Nico laid in his bed in their shared bedroom. Lewis was already sleeping after the exhaustion of the race.
His heart was full and heavy all at once. He lay back against the pillow one hand instinctively resting against his stomach.
He did not know what the future would bring, how the next months would unfold. How he and Lewis would balance everything between racing the distance and the quiet life growing inside of him.
But falling asleep next to Lewis made him feel safer and gave him the illusion they could handle it together.
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