Life as a UW Goose
Ever wondered what life would be like as one of those cute little birds running around campus pooping everywhere? Yeah so have I, hence I decided to compile a list of 4 interesting things (entirely of my own opinion) about what I would do if I were a goose (not to be confused with the vodka brand Grey Goose – that’s another story…).
4) Take over DC again
Okay this turned out to be a prank by UW students but it could still happen! What if I was a goose and persuaded all my buddies to invade DC? Would they have to cancel classes? I find that notion slightly amusing…
3) Jet skiing
Being an aspiring business professional, I always dreamed of someday doing crazy expensive cool stuff like jet skiing or skydiving. Well, I figured out one day that geese could do both at the same time for no cost whatsoever!
To elaborate, I was walking to class early in the morning (10:40 AM is too early apparently) with a buddy of mine when, all of a sudden, 15 geese came flying in and hydroplaned across the pond near St. Jerome’s! I swear these guys glided like 20 meters at 50km/h – it was pretty awesome.
2) Demand my share of UW merchandise
Being iconic birds of UW, Canadian geese have been forever engraved in the UW culture as plush dolls or funny memos on shirts. But is that really fair? I mean imagine if somebody took a picture of you and just posted it without your permission everywhere (look right to see a picture of Terrance in his younger days). Yeah I would want my share of sales revenue for that…just saying.
1) Migrate!
As much as I love how quintessential the geese are to our UW culture, I still dream of a time where they would migrate to another place (Laurier maybe?) and torture another group of students. I mean, if you have wings and can fly up to 50km/h you could go places! Hawaii anyone?
What would you do if you were a UW goose? Share your thoughts with us!
– Edbert Oey