i think eddie would get into a phase where he just watches a bunch of firefighter and medical procedural shows and go ://// why are they doing this wrong :///// but keeps watching it. because he's a firefighter obviously and not because the drama is really good and he's hooked.
eddie when people can't just read his mind but also refuses to let anyone actually get a real read on him: yeah i just feel really alone all the time but that's normal and part of being an adult :)
thinkin maybe eddie being dared to pierce his own ear in the military one drunk night. they closed but sometimes he can still stab an earring through there if he's feeling funky enough
i don't think i've ever made an actual post about this and i do know that most of the fandom sees him as a fully gay man tm and i respect that -- i'm gonna follow my heart and say while i see him leaning more that way that's not exactly completely true.
i do not think eddie would ever fully put a label on himself, i think whoever he is with he leans more towards that just because that's what he has at the moment. he'll make comments about being gay, if that's the situation, but that's not him labeling himself that's more of an umbrella term for him.
eddie's repression and lack of knowledge. hm. i don't think he's stuffing it down and refusing to acknowledge it because it's bad for him and/or not possibly something that could be for him. he doesn't go gay = can't do that, in his head. the issue is eddie is doing that to everything else.
so, he doesn't even realize that there's something he could be missing. he's not even there with the gay thing. he's just never had the time ! he doesn't sit around and think about things like that, i really do think when he tells the priest that no offense he's straight he's telling his truth in that moment. because he's not thinking about it !
i think he quit ballroom dancing because his parents made it not fun for him anymore then was told okay, if that's how it's going to be then he needs to step up and be the man of the house. it was a punishment for quitting something they enjoyed him doing. and that was just the rest of his childhood. and that followed him into the rest of his life. he never got to figure out who he is and what he likes beyond basic hobbies because he just never had the time. he was told that was just how life was, to get over it and then over time he just adapted that concept to everything.
then he was married and had a kid as a kid himself. he joined the army because he didn't know how to be a person yet, then came back and shannon left and he had to step up when he wasn't ready, coming to la and being hit in the face with trauma after truama. all that is building up, all of it is a contributing factor to the reason he blows up his life. and he's just mentally ill.
he's also demisexual and demiromantic, so he just does not fall for people the same way others typically do. i really do think his sexuality is fluid for him. he could be with a woman, femme presenting person, nb person or just not a Man tm and be happy and content once he gets himself out of this box he's already put himself in and doesn't know it. once he becomes unlabeled and content eddie. he doesn't have to be the man of the house, the failing husband and boyfriend, or the GOOD DAD thinking he needs to hold it all together so bad it sent him over the edge with dire consequences. him letting go of all that and getting to be is just be is so much more freeing to him than a label.
that's why everything with shannon is so complicated. if it was just that he was gay then it’d be much simpler for him, it would've been something he would've figured out a while ago i think. but he really was in love with her, or i guess in the way that you can be in love at that age and then all that happening.
i think eddie has a huge issue with the idea and concept vulnerability and intimacy in general. he knows he likes sex but he can't hook up with just anyone so then he also gets into a relationship and has no idea what he's doing at first. so while he knows that he likes sex, he does not know what he likes about sex, so once he learns, and he is a very quick leaner, that oh he is THRILLED.
so yeah i don't know. i really do think eddie is just. unaware and unhappy with who he is, blowing up his life as a consequence of not slowing down, unable to let go of shannon, his all around mental health just being in shambles and having the world on his shoulders since ten as a punishment. it's all reasons why relationships don't work out for him, the sexuality aspect is only part of it but it is a pretty big part of it but not for the reasons you think !
i just cannot stop thinking about eddie mentoring someone on the job. at first he wouldn't think it's his business to get involved with some probie firefighter constantly acting out or whatever but everyone else is busy with their own situations so he starts showing up for them............i just think that'd be good for him.
and while i do not think eddie would enjoy the pressure of having a leadership role in the future, so he won't do it, i do think he'd be good at it. so him finding out ways to fill that would be nice. it would also be really healing for him to show up for someone that isn't completely reliant on him. he can mentor and show up outside of work but at the end of the day, he has no real responsibility and he works with his therapist of making sure his mind keeps it that way.
i think he tackles the dishes all at night. i don't think he bothers dealing with it in the morning because that's none of his business. he's not usually around for lunch, if he does then it's usually a sandwich and that can just go on a paper towel. so he tries to get them done before going to bed but sometimes they can sit there for a few days before he gets to them
i don't think he has a big enough wardrobe to worry about preparing his clothes for the next day and i can't see him caring all that much unless it's a costume or a suit of some kind then he is PREPARED. so, yeah -- i think he's pretty much just a pick a fit in the moment kind of man.
