Ch9 Don't Give Up Now
A/N: Sorry for the lack of post. My writing time is limit.
Anyway this chapter isn't perfect but I hope you enjoy regardless.
After spending one of the best days of his life since his diagnosis with Eda. Serkan had hoped they were at a turning point.
It surprised him when they returned to work, she had returned to her previous attitude toward him.
Business and civil, but not familiar. Not connected.
It hurt, but he was willing to bear her hot and cold attitude, hoping to break all her walls down for good.
He wanted his last days to be filled with love and Eda. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he was willing to fight for it.
He let her set the pace and tone of their relationship, hoping that as long as he didn’t push her too hard, things would work out how he wanted them to.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Eda smiled in thanks when Serkan arrived in her office with a coffee for her. “You didn’t have to. I have an assistant that could have gotten me coffee.”
“I wanted to,” Serkan said. “I found a place similar to our cafe back in Istanbul. It tastes the same. I’m sure you know the one I am talking about.”
Eda paused as she recalled the cafe he spoke of. It was one of their first places they went together after admitting their true feelings and had quickly become their place. Serkan had gone so far as to permanently reserve a table for them.
A warm feeling filled her chest, one she wanted to go away.
Spending the weekend with Serkan had been both wonderful and not good. It was wonderful because she had been happier than she could remember in a long time. She had fun, and she enjoyed his company, but it was also bad because she felt old buried feelings brimming to the surface.
Eda wasn’t sure she wanted to go there again with Serkan.
She had her heart broken by him once and it almost destroy her and she wasn’t sure she could survive it a second time.
And self-preservation was a powerful thing.
Sher found herself shutting him out, remaining professional and all but putting the brakes on any chance of a reconciliation between them.
But it was hard, so fucking hard, like right now when he did sweet things that reminded her why she had fallen in love with him the first time around.
When moments like this she just wanted to grab him by the lapels of his jacket and kiss him for all he was worth.
Eda lifted the starfoam cup to her lips and sipped at the liquid.
Serkan was right, it taste the same. She took a larger drink.
“I have some ideas for your home I want you to take a look at.” Eda pulled a file out from her desk and held it out to Serkan.
Serkan accepted the file and sat across from her, opening the file and flipping through the detailed designs.
Eda watched, biting her lip, awaiting his approval.
Another thing that didn’t change. She cared for his opinion. More than she wanted to admit.
“You’ve really improved.” Serkan said, closing the file. “We will implement this. We’ll need to hire contractors, buy materials and supplies.”
“That fast?” Eda asked.
“I don’t intend to stay in a hotel during the duration of my stay. I would love to get a move on things.” Serkan replied and in truth, he had every intention of giving this dream house to Eda once he was gone to do with what she wanted.
“There’s no rush though.” said Eda. Her heart beat faster in her chest.
She had wanted to figure out why Serkan was here and send him on his way back to Istanbul, ignore old feelings coming to the surface, but now, everything inside her was screaming to keep him here as long as possible.
It was a conundrum. She wanted him as close as possible, but she also couldn’t help but push him away, putting distance between them.
Working with him despite her vocal protest and objections had become the best part of her day.
There was a rush. Serkan fought the urge to grab her and kiss her like it would be the last time.
“Maybe not,” he lied, “but I would like to have it done.”
Eda fell silent momentarily, then with a sigh, she produced another file. “Here’s a list of contractors and supplies trades I liked to use. I’m certain you’ll find it up to your standers.”
Serkan took the file, opening it and checking it.
Eda moved to the window as Serkan worked.
Serkan watched her, uncertain what to make of things. She was sending him more mix signals than he knew what to do with.
Slowly he approached her, taking her hand as he led her outside on to the terrace.
“I don’t plan on going anywhere when my home is done.” Serkan told her.
Eda turned to look at him but said nothing, but her hand tightened around his.
God, Serkan had turned her into a mess. She didn’t know what she wanted anymore. She wanted him gone, and she wanted him close.
She pulled her hand from his to wrap her arms around him, hugging him to her much to Serkan’s surprise, but he didn’t hesitate to hold her in his arms.
He had dreamed of moments like this and he was going to saviour it as much as he still could.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Efe opened the door to Eda’s office, frowning when he couldn’t find Eda, but all he had to do was step further into her office and looking out to the terrace.
His stomach twisted at what he saw.
Serkan’s arms enveloped Eda’s waist, her head tucked into his shoulder, and she looked like there was nowhere else she wanted to be.
Stepping back out of the room, he silently returned to his office. Taking a seat in his office chair, he picked up his cell, scrolling through his phone until he found the contact he was searching for.
It ranged several times before it was answered.
“Sehima, we have a bigger problem than I first thought.” Efe said at once.
“If this is about Serkan Bolat, I thought I told you to take care of it.”
“I’ve been trying. I’ve made it clear to Serkan he’s not welcome here. I reminded Eda of her past history with Serkan not ending well. I urged her to keep her relationship with Serkan professional, but you don’t see them together.” Efe tried to explain.
Serkan and Eda were like two magnetic forces being pulled together.
“I don’t want to see them together. Haven’t I made that clear?” her voice was hard. “Do whatever you have to do to keep them apart. I don’t care if you have to pursue Eda yourself to do it. I want Serkan Bolat out of my granddaughter’s life. Do you understand?”
“Sehima, Eda is-”
“Do you understand?” her tone was like ice.
Efe swallowed. “I understand.”
“Be sure that you do. I would hate to have to make you pay back all that I have done for you.”
Efe didn’t have time to respond before he heard the click of the call ending.
He lowered his phone slowly. He knew Sehima had a fondness for him, but it seemed that fondness only went so far.
And she was one person he did not want to be on the wrong side of.
He would do as she ask to the best of his ability for his own sake.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The next week, Eda and Serkan worked together, getting everything together. Supplies, contractor, workers. All that they would need to begin working on the project.
To celebrate Serkan’s team, Eda, all went out to dinner, even Aydan and Seyfi joined them.
They went out to Eda’s favorite restaurant; it was held on an outside patio, the stars in the sky shining brightly, reflecting off the river with a trail walk. Soft music was being played by a local band.
Dinner was filled with jokes, grins and laughter.
Aydan watched her son. Happiness shined from him anytime he was near Eda and it was a sight to see. One she would cherish.
At first, she hadn’t understood why being near Eda when he was so sick was so important. He should’ve been trying to fight, to live but seeing him with Eda now she got it.
He was living. Eda breathed life in him the way nothing else did.
Her boy wanted to spend the remainder of his time living.
Tears gathered in her eyes, tears that broke her heart because her boy was dying. His time on this earth was limited, and she wasn’t ready for that clock to run out. Her smile, however, was happy. Seeing Serkan happy brought joy to her heart and not much these days after learning of his illness did.
She watched as Eda leaned into Serkan, whispering something to him. Serkan turned to look at her, his eyes shining with mirth, a laugh on his lips.
Eda grinned, leaning closer, her bangs brushing against her cheek.
Serkan reached out, brushing the strands of her hair back, his knuckles skimming across her skin.
Aydan could clearly see where everyone fell away for them, their world narrowing down to the two of them.
It was a familiar sight and a welcome one, feeling like she was witnessing something intimate, she focused her attention back on everyone else. Engin had begun regaling the table with one of his many stories.
Eda felt a shiver coursed through her as Serkan lifted her hand and pressed her knuckles to his lips in a brief kiss, turning his focus back on Engin to interject with his side of the story, since he was telling a story from their school days.
Eda couldn’t make heads of tails of what was going on between them. One minute she was pushing him away, the next she refused to let him go, and Serkan was no better than her. He was so soft and sweet with her. Acting just the way he did when they were together and he made no efforts to disguise his attentions for being here and it went past their current business relationship for him.
He wanted more. He wanted to reconcile. He wanted her.
She turned her head just in time to catch Aydan stealing a glance at them, but she quickly looked away, but not fast enough.
There was a strange sadness mixed with acceptant when she looked at them or more precisely when she looked at Serkan.
Eda looked between the two, and she couldn’t for the life of her understand why.
What didn’t she know? Did it have something to do with why Serkan was here? Why Aydan showed up suddenly? Why all of Art-Life best employees were there? Why even Engin, Peril and Layla would look at Serkan with this look of hopelessness?
It all had to mean something, and she needed to know.
She felt like something was wrong, but she couldn’t explain it. She had no reason to feel this way, but she did, and every bone in her body was screaming that this feeling was tied to Serkan.
Seeing Serkan order dishes that were filled with spices and desserts that had a ton of sugar. It was so unlike him. Serkan who was a health nut and was careful about what he put in his body.
He was a hypochondriac for christ’ sake.
Further more as she thought about it, the other night, when he had the headache and the nosebleed, the Serkan she knew would have been calling the doctor immediately, scared he was deathly ill.
Eda turned slowly to watch Serkan. There was something he wasn’t telling her. She knew it; she felt it and she wasn’t going to be able to let it go until she knew what it was Serkan was keeping from her.
Serkan keeping secrets is what killed them the first time around. Hadn’t he learned anything from that?
But what he was keeping from her now couldn’t be as bad as the secret he kept from her about her parents’ death. Could it?
No, it was impossible.
“Hey,”
Eda felt Serkan’s hand slip in hers, the warmth of his skin seeping into her own.
“You ok?”
His eyes were so filled with genuine concern and care, it made her worries fall away.
“Yeah.” she curled her fingers around his. “I’m good.”
Without thinking, Serkan smiled and lifted her hand to his mouth, his lips brushing her knuckles.
Eda’s heart pounded in her chest. Dear God, what was he doing to her?
She wasn’t sure she had the strength to keep them apart for much longer, not when every nerve in her body screamed to be close to him, when her body yearned for his touch, not when she herself wanted all he could give and more.
She leaned forward instinctively, kissing the edge of his jaw.
Serkan’s eyes flitted to her in surprise, but she didn’t look away.
A charge moment between them passing, only broken by Engin calling for Serkan’s recollection of the time he drunkenly fell into a water fountain when they were in school.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
The following days, Eda couldn’t explain it, but she felt closer to Serkan as they continued to work together.
It was almost as if they had never broken up, as if they had never spent a day apart, and this was exactly where they were meant to be.
Eda could pretend that he never broke her heart, that there was no bad history between them, and that they were better together in all the ways that mattered.
Eda walked back into her office with a takeout bag. “So, I got us coffee and croiss-”
Eda's brow furrowed. Serkan was hunched over a chair, spilled papers scattered about him. He had one hand pressed tightly to the side of his skull and the other wiping beneath his nose.
“Serkan? Are you alright?” Eda inquired, concerned.
Serkan immediately turned his back to her.
“Serkan?” She set her bag down and their drinks and touched his arm, turning him back to face her. “Are you not well?”
His skin was pale, there was a slight sheen of perspiration on his skin, his eyes looked pain, and she wasn’t for certain but his nostril were almost coated red along the edges as if his nose had been bleeding.
He looked worse for wear, and it was alarming when Serkan was normally the image of perfection.
“I’m fine. Just allergies.” Serkan said, brushing off her concern. “I want to see how everything is progressing. Engin and Piril have assured me everything is moving along smoothly, but I would like to see it for myself.”
“Serkan, if you’re not feeling well, maybe you should go home, rest.” Eda suggested. “You shouldn’t run yourself ragged. The team can handle it.”
“It’s just a cold.” Serkan forced a smile, grabbing one of the coffee’s she brought and taking a generous sip and then biting into one of the croissants. “See I’m fine.” he said, after swallowing his bite of food. “C’mon, let’s go. I need to see how things are going myself.”
“Fine.” Eda relented, hoping he would not over do it. “But I’m driving.”
“Not your Uncle.” Serkan protested.
Despite her worry, Eda found herself smiling. “Don’t talk bad about Uncle. He’s my constant.”
Serkan shook his head and with one hand carrying his coffee, and the other hand on her lower back usher her out of the room.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Serkan’s head pounded. There was a sharp pain behind his eyes that made him want to double over, but he clenched his jaw against it, willing his body to ignore and endure the pain.
He saw the look of worry in Eda’s eyes from earlier, and he hated it. He didn’t want to worry her and he certainly didn’t want that worry to turn into pity.
It would be the end of them,
Throughout the day, she would ask him if he was okay and every time he told her, he was fine.
He could see she didn’t believe him and was becoming frustrated with him, but there was nothing he could do.
He could not let her know he was sick. He didn’t want his illness to fluence any of her decisions where he was concerned.
Serkan rolled the passenger side window down, hoping the fresh air would ease the nausea brought on by his headache.
With Eda’s eyes on the road, he faced out the window and discretely rubbed his temple. It was a few moments before the pain eased and he didn’t feel like his head was going to explode or like he was going to hurl.
“We’re here.” Eda pulled up outside his property they were working on.
There were several construction trucks and workers moving around the property.
There were a couple of gardeners tending to the garden.
He could see that Engin and Piril were set up on the wrap-around porch, overseeing and giving instructions when needed.
Serkan didn’t answer and stepped out of the car. He felt a little dizzy, so he moved slowly.
Eda watched him carefully. She had been doing so since they left the office, but did her best not to be obvious.
He was under the weather, she was certain of it. She just didn’t understand why he was pretending he wasn’t.
The Serkan she knew would have called the doctor at the first sign of a cold. He had a hypochondriac personality. When did that change?
Eda moved to his side, standing close enough in case he needed help, though she knew he would never ask for it.
They made it up the steps to where Engin and Piril were.
“What’s the progress?” Serkan asked.
Engin and Piril went into what had already been done and what was currently being worked on.
Engin and Piril both ushered Serkan inside so he could see the work for himself.
Work on the upstairs floor was well underway and once it was done, they would work on the bottom floor.
Eda had people already working on the garden. She excused herself to go check on them, telling herself that Serkan would be fine. He was with others and if he was fine as he claimed to be. She had nothing to worry about.
Eda walked outside to the garden and smiled at the progress.
The garden was going to be beautiful when it was done. Eda noticed faintly it would be in the image of her perfect garden.
Rather, that was intentional on Serkan’s part, she didn’t know, but as she walked back into the house and up the stairs, seeing the progress, she noticed the house was in the image of what she wanted.
What was he playing at?
He was confusing her more than ever. His reasons for being here, the renovations he wanted, hiring her to help with this when Art Life was more than equipped for this project, his cold that was ailing him and him not seeking immediate medical attention. It was all leaving her confounded.
She hated the feeling that she was missing something. Something important. Something that would make everything make sense.
Her worry for Serkan grew as she walked in to see Serkan leaning against the wall, his palm pressed against his temple, his eyes squeezed shut tightly.
He looked in pain.
Piril and Engin stood with him, concerned energy coming off them. It wasn’t surprising to see Engin, looking concerned. It didn’t take much to get the man upset or worried, but Piril was different.
In a lot of ways, the red-haired woman was a lot like Serkan. Work-a-holic, short-tempered, low tolerance, no nonsense attitude and didn’t like to discuss personal matters or feelings unnecessarily.
Yet, she stood beside Serkan with a worried frown, her hand hovering in the air as if she wanted to reach out to Serkan.
“Is everything okay?” Eda asked, walking further into the room.
Engin and Piril straightened and smiled over at her.
“Everything is fine.” Piril answered. “We were just going over some material details with Serkan.”
“Why would anything be wrong?” Engin gave a laugh. “Everything’s perfect as can be.”
Eda saw through their fake smiles, as Serkan’s hand dropped from his head and he pushed away from the wall, straightening.
Eda’s eyes narrowed. “Could you two give Serkan and I a moment, please?”
Engin and Piril shared a look and then looked to Serkan, waiting for his answer.
Serkan nodded at them. “We’ll be along shortly.”
Eda waited until they were alone. “What is going on with you?”
“Nothing?” Serkan answered. “I’m just feeling a little under the weather.”
Eda’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t feel under the weather and when you do, you're the first to believe you are dying. The Serkan I knew would have gone to a doctor by now.”
“But I’m not the Serkan you once knew.” Serkan argued. “I’m not the same man you left behind. I changed. This is one of those changes. I don’t obsess over my health likes I once did.”
“People change. Yes, but not like this.” Eda insisted. She knew in her bones something was different. Wrong even.
“Eda, I am telling you nothing is going on. Nothing is wrong.” Serkan said, firmly, his jaw clenching. “I have a cold and I’m stressed. Nothing more.”
Eda shook her head and took a step forward, her front brushing against him. “I know there’s something you are not telling me, Serkan.”
Serkan stared down at her. She was so beautiful, so insistent. So frustrating.
He knew she was pressing because she cared, but he couldn’t let her find out the truth.
“There’s noth-”
“There is. I can feel it-”
Eda’s eyes widened as he grabbed her by the back of the neck, closing the remaining distance between them, his mouth on hers.
It was so reminiscent of the kiss when he told her he was madly in love with her.
It took Eda’s breath away and everything fell away.
Nothing mattered but the feel of his lips on hers.
It was like coming home, and she welcomed the feeling.
Her hands reached up to grip his shoulders, her mouth moving with his in a familiar dance.
Serkan deepened the kiss at her reactive response. His entire being focused solely on kissing Eda like his life depended on it.
And for him, in a way, it did.
Being with her was the purpose for his life and it was the only thing that mattered to him.
She was everything.
A/N: I want to take a moment and thank anyone whos is still reading this.
