‘How could you’
He muttered painfully, unable to look at her face. He feared he’d cross a line if he does.
‘Trust me Serkan, I never wanted this to happen.’
She tried to touch him but he avoided it and Eda had a deja vu. She had seen this film before
‘BUT IT HAPPENED EDA. YOU HID EVERYTHING FROM ME. YOU STOLE FIVE YEARS FROM ME . YOU STOLE FIVE YEARS FROM MY DAUGHTER.’
He yelled, looking straight into her eyes. His eyes were bloodshot red and his ears turned pink with anger. Eda had never seen him like this before
‘I was scared.... I was scared that -‘
‘That? Was I that scary that you thought I am not worthy of knowing my daughter’s existence?’
‘You said you don’t want children. You said you don’t want me.’ Eda was weeping like a child, she wasn’t accusing him but giving justification of her foolish act.
‘And you decided to punish me for saying that? I broke your heart so you decided to smash mine under your feet?’
He knew she was right but he was so mad that he wasn’t ready to listen to whatever she said.
Serkan stumbled Like a lifeless man. He was hating his entire existence. Tears were running down his eyes. He felt suffocated and left the room immediately
Serkan screamed and wailed uncontrollably. His heart was shattered, in fact he felt that he’d never be the same. He had hurt himself and he wanted to hurt himself more. Blood was dripping from his knuckles. His forehead had a nasty scratch but he wasn’t wincing from pain. His tears and wailing was a result from all those moments he had shared with his daughter
Daughter
His daughter
His five year old daughter whom he had met recently.
And she was so stubborn
She loved horses
She was allergic to strawberries
She was good at archery
But what else ?
He did not know
He was clueless about his daughter’s likes and dislikes. He was unaware of her favorite color or her favorite fruit.
But he did know that he was her hero. She told him yesterday. Serkan felt his heart swelled in pride. This was a new feeling. Something he had never felt.
He was a father. He was kiraz father.
Another loud groan left his mouth and he hid his face on his hands and began to cry, cursing himself of everything his daughter had gone through in the last five years.
‘Noldu?’ He was disturbed from crying by a tiny voice, a voice that touched his heart and played with its strings . He was in love with his daughter already
Serkan removed his hands and looked at Kiraz’s worried face. Her tiny little hands were caressing his bruises.
‘Noldu?’ She asked again
‘What are you doing here in middle of the night? It isn’t safe to be here in the forest.’ He replied back suddenly concerned for her safety
‘You didn’t answer my question first.’ She retorted
‘Sometimes bad things happen and we want to let it out happen aşkım.’ Serkan replied caressing her long brown hair. He hasn’t noticed how much she looked like Eda. How could he miss that? How could he not realize that she was their own kid ?
‘Does it hurt?’ She asked, pointing her gaze on his bloody hands
‘A little.’
Kiraz placed a peck on his cheek and looked at him lovingly
‘I don’t like it when you cry.’
Serkan was about to burst into tears but he has no words to answer her questions so he simply hugged her back. It was a long tight hug but he needed it. In that moment he realized he was going to use himself as a shield even if he had to protect kiraz. She owned his entire existence already.
‘Come on let’s get you home.’ He wiped his tears, determined for a new beginning, a morning that would bring sunshine in his and Kiraz’s life.
Note: I was planning to write this for a one shot but things have been so hectic that I don’t think it would ever be completed. So here’s a small Drabble because I couldn’t help sleeping without writing this particular bit.