#edwardisginger

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Bella concerned: has Edward always had a habit of running headlong into certain death?

Alice: Naw, sometimes he walks. Occasionally, he shuffles. Periodically, he ambles.

Rosalie: One time I saw him trip into certain death

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Bella: the school has a strict no pets policy, unfortunately.

Edward: this rule does not include Rosalie's high horse. Which makes regular appearances.

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Bella: so how did you guys come and rescue me so fast ?

Jasper: some felony level traffic violations

Alice: purposefully causing 27 car crashes

Emmett: Two cans of nitrous

Edward: also that’s not our car

Bella: …..alrighty then

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Bella: ‘collapsed in a kitchen chair ‘ I am so confused. I don’t know what I should do

Emmett: ‘wearing only underwear and a tank top, dunking Oreos in whiskey’ Well you came to the right place

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Bella: See, no one wants lettuce or something dumb as their last meal. That’s why [pulls out package of sour straws] my last meal is gonna be sour straws

Jacob: You keep those in your pocket?

Bella: Between my clumsiness and almost dying all the time, I gotta be prepared to go out on my own terms

Edward: [vibrating] BeLoVEd

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Emmett, currently the subject of a nation wide manhunt for wrestling a bear at the zoo: Sometimes its nice to be wanted

Bella: Not by the fucking law it's not

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Bella: ‘staring at Edward longingly’ What does he do when I’m not around? Like for fun?

Rosalie: Cocaine

Bella: No, like seriously, how does he pass the time? What are his actual hobbies?

Rosalie: Cocaine

[soihadthisdreamonce]

Emmett ‘trying to explain how Alice got thrown through three cement walls and Jacob had to crawl out of a burning car’: So, we made a few small mistakes.

Edward: you said the words ‘Vampire demolition derby’ and didn’t think how there might be dangers associated

Emmett: Fine then, Lord Perfect. We made some medium sized mistakes