when bella didn't want to get married at 18 because she saw how her parents' marriage crumbled and she was opposed to the patriarchal nature of the whole institution, and is bitter about it until the moment she is walking down the aisle, but as soon as she's married she realizes that being mrs. cullen is actually the best thing to ever happen to her and she's immediately ecstatic to have a baby with her husband. the way jacob says "you don't even belong to yourself anymore" about imprinting and is repulsed by the very idea, but then when he imprints he realizes it's actually what he was born to do & nothing could make him happier & he leaves everything behind to live with his mate's family. man once you become aware of the mormon agenda present within the twilight saga it is ALL you're aware of lol
Happy Halloween and Happy HOA HOA HOA HOA season! I'm finally uploading my Twilight sims. They've been updated and styled based on the Breaking Dawn movies. Bella comes with both her human and vampire forms. Each sim has new custom painted tattoos. Feel free to change whatever you want about them, and have lots of vampiric fun!! Please let me know if you run into any issues and I'll sort them out ASAP. ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧🩸🕯️🦇
authors note: Just something short I wanted to write. It's not really a fanfic, but more of a self insert of how I would appropriately react with some events in Twilight. Hope you enjoy!
synopsis: You don't have a filter, which is a good thing (yeah, fuck whoever disagrees) which means that you make your dislike for Bella Swan apparent. It's not because she's mean, quite the opposite, but because you find her survival instincts to be nonexistent.
You had been with the Cullens long enough to know one thing: your family was full of liars. Not malicious ones, just polite ones. Polite to a fault. Polite in the “let’s pretend we’re not all thinking the same thing” way.
Esme smiled through everything. Carlisle rationalized everything. Alice saw everything and said nothing. Emmett laughed everything off. Jasper avoided everything. Rosalie judged everything silently. But you? You said it out loud. So when Bella Swan moved down from Arizona, smelling like the world’s most tempting air freshener and staring at your family like you were her personal Netflix show, you did the only reasonable thing.
You stared back.
Hard.
Unblinking.
Like a cat who just realized the laser pointer might actually be alive.
Across the cafeteria, Bella froze, eyes widening as if she hadn’t expected you to notice the staring, which was insane because she’d been doing it for several days now. Edward elbowed you sharply under the table. “Stop that.”
“She started it.” You said, but gave Edward the pleasure of looking away and slouching deeper in your chair. “And why is she even staring at us? Do humans not know that eye contact means aggression? Or is this a regional problem? Maybe Arizona doesn’t have basic survival instincts.”
“(Y/N).” Edward hissed.
“I’m genuinely asking.”
Rosalie sighed like your existence personally offended her. “She’s curious, (Y/N). Humans get curious.”
“Curious about what? We sit here. We look pretty. We mind our undead business. It’s not like we’re juggling axes or sacrificing goats.”
“Alice suggested the axes once, remember?” Emmett said. “Carlisle said no.”
“And the goats?”
“Also no.”
“Tragic.”
Edward rubbed his temples. “Can everyone please behave? She’s not a threat.”
“Oh, I know she’s not a threat,” you said, stabbing at your boxed apple juice with unnecessary force. “She’s a walking liability. A hazard on legs. She radiates ‘about to trip and break something expensive’ energy.”
“She’s clumsy.” Jasper admitted diplomatically.
“Clumsy? Bro, clumsy is bumping into a chair. Bella looks like gravity filed a restraining order against her and it’s retaliating.”
Emmett choked on a laugh. Jasper pressed his lips together so hard they almost disappeared. Alice was openly beaming now, her chin propped in her hand like she was watching her favorite sitcom. Rosalie, for once, did not immediately scold you. She simply gave a slow, unimpressed blink that meant she agreed but refused to compliment you for it.
Bella's eyes drifted up again: straight to your table, straight to Edward, and then (unfortunately) straight to you. When your eyes met, you raised your brows, silently mouthing, "What are you looking at?" She jerked so hard that the cartoon of milk nearly spilled on the table.
Edward kicked your shin under the table. “Stop terrorizing her.”
You glared at him. “I’m not terrorizing her. I’m observing.”
“You’re glaring.”
“That was a neutral expression.”
“For a vampire about to commit a felony.” Rosalie supplied. You rolled your eyes and reached for your fork. Edward snatched it out of your hand instantly.
“What are you—?"
He hissed under his breath, “Your face looks like you’re about to throw it at her.”
You blinked, and paused to considered it. “Okay, fair. But give it back.”
“No. You don't need to frighten her anymore than you have.”
“I wasn't scaring her,” you said, though no one at the table believed you. “If anything, I’m preparing her. This is enrichment. Like zoo training.”
TIME SKIP
When Edward came home that afternoon, his expression was the exact mix of disgust and existential dread you usually associate with Rosalie encountering a crowded mall. He barely got through the door before you spoke. “What crawled up your ass and died?”
Edward dropped his bag with unnecessary dramatics. “I had Biology with her.”
You recoiled. “Oh my god. And, let me guess, she sat next to you?”
“Yes.”
You slapped a hand over your chest. “A tragedy. A violation. You poor thing.” Edward glared. You shrugged. "No actually, I get it. She smells like dessert to you, right? And instead of avoiding you like a human with basic survival instincts she's like, ‘Oh gee, let me sit beside the immortal bloodsucker and try to befriend him.’ That’s a choice. A stupid one.”
Edward groaned. “It took everything in me not to jump across the table and suck her dry."
You raised a brow. “So this is the part where you decide to stay away from her, right?” Edward didn’t answer. You slapped a hand over your eyes. “Oh no. You’re already obsessed, aren’t you?”
And obsessed he was.
Painfully. Horrifyingly. Criminally.
Two days later, he unknowingly let it slip—and by slip, you mean he confessed it like a man who had forgotten what shame was—that he’d been watching Bella sleep from inside her room like a total creep. It happened during another dramatic Edward Entry, where he appeared at the top of the stairs with that look. That haunted, dreamy, lovesick, vaguely murderous look.
“I’ve discovered something.” he murmured, descending the stairs like a gothic chandelier falling in slow motion.
“A personality?” He ignored you. That was mistake number one.
“She talks in her sleep.” Edward said, voice low and weirdly soft.
You blinked once. Twice. “…Excuse me?”
Edward paused, eyebrows lifting in mild confusion. “Bella. She—”
“—talks in her sleep,” you finished for him. “Yes. Yes, you just said that. My question is: how you know this?”
Emmett’s eyebrows shot up. Jasper straightened in his seat like someone had plugged him into an electrical socket. Rosalie turned her head slowly—very slowly—to glare at Edward, because although she disliked Bella with a passion, she wasn’t about to let her brother be a full blown psycho. Her eyes narrowed into lethal slits.
“Edward. Tell me you’re joking.”
He stiffened. “I—”
“No,” Rosalie snapped, cutting him off like a guillotine. “Don’t. Whatever you say next is going to make me want to hit you, and Carlisle will get mad when I break your jaw.”
Emmett raised a hand helpfully. “I can hold him down.”
Rosalie didn’t even look at him. “He wouldn’t fight back. He’d probably cry about it.”
Jasper’s voice was cautious, like he was approaching a wild animal. “Edward, please tell us how you discovered this?”
Hesitation.
A bad sign.
A very bad sign.
You leaned forward, eyes narrowing. “Edward, where were you standing when she was sleep talking?”
“I wasn’t standing.” he said defensively.
Rosalie looked a heartbeat away from physical violence. “Okay, so you were sitting. Where? On a tree branch? Outside her window like a feral owl?"
He winced. “The rocking chair in her room.”
The room exploded.
Rosalie made a strangled, murderous noise. Jasper froze as if preparing emotionally for Edward’s funeral. Emmett dropped the remote and whispered, “Oh my god. You ARE a creep.” And you stood up so fast your chair skidded backward.
“EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!”
“Don’t use my full name—”
“You sat,” you repeated, stabbing each word into the air like a knife. “In the dark. In the corner. In a rocking chair. Watching a human girl as she slept like some sort of pale, sparkly sleep paralysis demon?"
Edward winced. “When you say it like that—”
“How ELSE am I supposed to say it?” you barked. “You violated every privacy law ever created! Even the unwritten ones! Humans don’t even LIKE when their pets stare at them while they sleep.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Oh my god,” Rosalie cut in, looking genuinely appalled. “I didn't think you could become even more of a loser than you were."
It was at that moment that Esme entered the room cheerfully, but then froze, noticing the tension. “What’s going on?”
You pointed at Edward with the dramatic fury of a soap opera character. “Oh, it's nothing. Just that your perfect golden boy here has been breaking into Bella Swan’s bedroom and WATCHING HER SLEEP!”
Esme blinked. Then blinked again. “Oh dear...”
Carlisle followed behind her, eyebrows rising. “Edward?”
Edward threw his hands up. “I was making sure she was safe!”
You gaped at him. “SAFE FROM WHAT, EDWARD?! NIGHTMARES? PILLOWS? HER OWN BREATHING?!”
Emmett nodded vigorously. “Bro, imagine waking up and seeing YOU in the corner. I’d yeet myself out the window.”
Jasper nodded. “So would I.”
Edward glared at all of you. “None of you understand—”
“OH TRUST ME,” you barked, “we understand PERFECTLY. You have lost your goddamn mind.”
Rosalie stepped closer, voice low. “If Bella finds out about this, she is going to pass out so fast she’ll crack her skull on her nightstand. And then YOU’LL have to explain to Charlie Swan why his daughter died of fright.”
Emmett held up a finger. “Which would be hilarious—”
Rosalie snapped, “Emmett!”
“—but bad.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Edward, listen carefully. Humans don’t LIKE being watched while unconscious. They tend to—oh, I don’t know—call the police!”
“That’s ridiculous.” Edward scoffed.
“Oh?” you asked sweetly. “And what would YOU do if a stranger sat in YOUR room at night?”
“I would know.” He said smugly.
“Yes,” you said dryly, “because you’re a vampire. Bella is a CHIHUAHUA with the durability of a breadstick.”
“Oh! Well EXCUSE ME,” you said dramatically. “Three encounters. That changes everything. Let’s book the wedding.”
Emmett raised a hand. “Dibs on best man.”
Rosalie hissed. “We are not planning a wedding for the girl he’s currently stalking.”
“I'm not—"
“STALKING!”
ANOTHER TIME SKIP
Edward really lived up to his creep status. Not even a week after stalking the poor girl, he took her into the woods and confirmed that yes, he sparkled like a disco ball in direct sunlight, yes, he was a vampire, and yes, the rest of his family were too. You nearly sprinted into the woods to find the largest tree trunk available, solely to beat him with it.
Rule #1 (if there was a handbook): DO NOT REVEAL YOUR STATUS TO HUMANS.
And what did Edward do? He broke it. Crushed it. Set it on fire. Ran it over with his stupid Volvo. And then? Then he had the audacity—the pure nerve—to invite the girl to your home. Your safe place. The one place you guys didn't need to hide. You met them in the kitchen alongside the rest of your family who were busy making Italiano.
Edward practically glowed with smugness. “So, this is Bella.”
You stared at her.
She stared back.
You blinked slowly, once, twice, like a warning system rebooting. “…Why is she here?”
Esme gasped softly. “(Y/N)!”
Bella flushed, shrinking in on herself. “I—I didn’t mean to intrude—”
“You’re not intruding.” Edward reassured her, giving Bella a soft smile like he hadn't done anything wrong.
You pointed a stiff, accusing finger at him. “Oh, she absolutely is intruding. What happened to subtlety? What happened to discretion? What happened to keeping our kind a secret?”
Bella blinked nervously. “I apologize if me knowing brought you guys any problems—”
You barked a laugh.
Not a cute laugh.
A deranged older sibling losing their patience laugh.
“Oh, sweetheart, you didn’t bring us any problems. He did.”
Edward’s jaw tightened. “(Y/N)—”
“No, no, do not ‘(Y/N)’ me,” you snapped, stepping forward. “Do you have any idea how many decades—DECADES—we’ve spent keeping a low profile? Do you know how many times I’ve had to dodge nosy humans, animal control, conspiracy theorists, and that one lady who swore Emmett was Bigfoot?”
Emmett yelled from behind the kitchen counter, “SHE TOOK A PICTURE OF ME EATING A GRANOLA BAR—WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”
You waved a dismissive hand. “Case in point.”
Bella’s eyes widened. “I—I didn’t know—”
“Of course you didn’t know,” you said. “And you shouldn’t have known anything. About any of us. Because Edward was supposed to handle this like a responsible adult. Instead, he took you to the forest like a dramatically depressed anime character and told you everything.”
Edward hissed, “It wasn’t like that—”
“Oh?” you said. “Did you or did you not ‘say it, out loud’ her into a supernatural TED Talk?” Edward opened his mouth. You didn’t let him finish. “Exactly, you dramatically confessed eternal damnation in a mossy forest like the world’s biggest theatre kid.”
At that moment, you heard the sound of a glass breaking and Jasper's slight cursing. You didn't need to be in the same room to know he looked like a man trying to balance a thousand knifes on his head while walking a tightrope over a pit of Bella-scented lava.
“Okay,” you muttered. “Time for intervention number twelve of the week.” You turned your back on the couple and stepped into the main living room where Jasper stood at the top of the staircase.
"Come on, bro." You said, grabbing him by the wrist and nudging him towards the back hallway where the exit was. "Let’s go take a long walk where no gremlins are messing with you."
Jasper gritted his teeth. “Thank you.”
Edward called out, annoyed, “We’re in the middle of a discussion—!”
You flipped him off without looking back. “Yeah? Well I’m in the middle of keeping your girlfriend alive. You’re welcome.”
Summary- angry at Bella for abandoning you to “hang out “ with Edward, you come to confront her at the Swan residence . Only to find another Swan wants your attention..
Warnings - age gap ( Charlie is 42 , y/n is 22 ) ,takes place during breaking dawn , comfort, smut , reader seduces charlie , pet name “sweetheart “ and “ baby “, dry humping , in general… ima freak
a/n - had to change a few details to make y/n make sense in this story / twilight universe so bear with me.. also sorry for the bad grammar !!
————————————————————————
Knock! knock! You pound your fists on the door of the swan house, hoping to get anything close to an answer.
Just earlier today, you were back at your parents house, telling them how college has been, how you couldn’t wait to reunite with your old friends— that was until you found out what a backstabber Bella Swan had become.
“Once we graduated we didn’t really hear a lot from her , always with Edward, she never left his side”, you recall Angela saying.
It pissed you off more than anyone, knowing how Bella would always joke about going back to her childhood friend Jacob, but never did.
Now you to know more than anything, why she left you for that blood sucker of a person.
You had been knocking for a while, and still no one had came to answer the door. It was late at night, but maybe Bella was staying up with that pale face of a boyfriend.
Just as the bite of the cold air became to much for you, and you began to walk back to your car— the screen door creaked open.
“Y/n ?! “, Mr. Swan called out , “ What are you doing here?”
Surprised he still remembered you, you walked back to the steps of the old white house— tucking a loose hair behind your ear to seem more presentable for someone standing out there in your nighties.
“Where’s Bella ?”, you asked, sniffling from the midnight Forks air .
leaning against the doorframe in an Forks fishing club t-shirt and plain pj pants, he look down at you , “ She’s with Edward at their house— where you not invited to the wedding?”
He questioned like he knew you were going to say no, but didn’t wanna make it obvious he knew the answer. no .
“So she’s married now?”, you sigh.
“Yeah”, he chuckled , “ Shot gun wedding, but with the Cullen and their… wealth, it seemed like the most expensive wedding I’ve been to “
You knew it was wrong , and a terrible thing to do for revenge— but you couldn’t help but see this as an opportunity.
“Mr. Swan”, your voice lowered to a soft , innocent sounding whisper , “ I don’t want to be a bother but it’s freezing out here— may I come in ?”
He hesitated, looking around before locking he’s eyes back on you. All you had over your little gown was a coat— you were practically shivering.
“Uh-yeah sure”, he said, opening the door for you , “ And hey , you don’t have to call me ‘ Mr. Swan’ , where all adults here. Charlie is fine “
“Sure”, you grinned as you stepped into the dark living room , “ Thanks Charlie“
Once you were both inside, Charlie turned on a lamp, and you sat on the big grey couch , ignoring the trash that seemed crammed between the couch cushions .
“So y/n”, he asked, sitting down by you , “ Why did you need to talk to Bella?”
Turning towards him, you folding your legs under you, leaving your thigh a little exposed from the pulled fabric,” I just wanna reconnect with her, you know, we used to be best friends but I guess the only person in her life is Edward “
Listening, Charlie leaned back, his legs manspreading across the sofa— his knee softly brushed against you .
“I get what your saying “, Charlie replied, taking a swig from a random beer bottle on the coffee table, “ Even after the wedding, I’m still hesitant about them two. I don’t understand why they wanted to get married so quick”
“How old were you—“, you quickly changed the subject, remembering your plan, “ When you married Ms. Swan?”
He gulped at the sentence, like just the thought of it made him choke , “ Me and her where young in our 20s — but we had been dating for years “
The look— the twinkle in his eyes suggested he wasn’t fully over Renée , or maybe he was just tired of being alone.
“I can’t wait till I get married “, you smile, your hand accidentally grazing Charlie’s shoulder as you stretched .
“Don’t bite the bullet too soon “, he chuckled, taking another swig , “ Get yourself a real man. One who can cook, has a job , one who can take care of a pretty girl like you”
“I don’t think I want a guy my age, most of the guys I know can’t cook to save their lives— maybe someone older , like you “, you tried to sound confused , uncertain.
“Don’t go flattering me y/n . You deserve someone way better than an old man like me “ , he seemed a little flustered over your compliment.
“Remember junior year prom “, you brought up an old memory, “ My date , Tyler Welch got sick so he couldn’t take me? You took me to prom and stayed there to make sure I had fun “
“Well I didn’t want one of Bella’s friends to not have a good time “, he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Is that the only reason? ‘Cause I remember you dancing with me… and I don’t think that was for Bella’s sake.”
Frustrated, he sat down his beer, “ Cmon , it wasn’t like that and you know it. Plus where decades apart- you can find a good guy your age “
Whispering, you responded, “Maybe I don’t want a guy my age, Charlie. Maybe I’ve been thinking about this for years. About you.”
Now he was really frustrated, “ Y/n , we can’t “, his voice was low and serious, “ fuck, im the same age as your dad— this is wrong ”
Without warning, you grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling you into his lap. As your lips pressed against his , his mustache grazing your top lip.
“Sweetheart”
Charlie’s hands roamed your waist, tugging at your blue nightgown , “ God, baby…” he muttered against your mouth, like the word slipped out without his permission. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”
Your lips parted from his, just barely, your breath still mingling with his , “ I don’t want you in this old house alone Charlie “, you take your position as an opportunity to straddle him, gently dry humping the cloth of his pj pants, “ You need a woman to cook you meals, take care of you, and I volunteer “
“Y/n”, he moaned, quickly pulling down his pants to reveal his throbbing length, “ Your beautiful. You drive me crazy , but your too young—“
He gripped his hands to the couch for support.
“I don’t care what people would think “, you said , sliding off your underwear and throwing them to the side , “ No one has to know about this. Not even Bella “
As he settled between your legs, you pull at his hair, forcing him to look at what he was doing. The more he watched the wetter you got, to the point Charlie had to lap at your cunt like a dog just to keep your cum from getting on the furniture.
Pulling his head back, you began kissing his wet lips, falling back on top of him.
As he fucked you , hard. He wiped the sweat off your forehead, his other hand gripping your bare ass , “ That’s it baby, keep that pace for me “
He ran his hands up and down your back , “ Your doing so good sweetheart “
As you could sense he was gonna climax, you switched over to stroking his length, only for him to pull you back on him, “ Don’t fix what wasn’t broken “
His dad-like humor even when being fucked made you want to please him even more, so once he finally reached his high— you asked if he was up for another go .
“It’s alright, darling. We can leave it at that,” he said, voice low and steady. “Why don’t you go take a shower upstairs, then hop into my bed? I don’t want a pretty face like yours driving home in the middle of the night.”
He is literally a mix of an angel and a victorian gentleman
He is deeply compassionate.
You have a rough day, “Tell me everything, my love.”
He LISTENS! It’s rare for a man to just shut up and listen and he does it.
If he senses something is off with you, it doesn’t matter if he’s doing something important, he will drop everything to make sure you are okay and talk things out.
He is so respectful.
Keep in mind he’s from a different era, so expect old school romance.
Holding doors.
Handwritten love letters in beautiful writing.
He’s very patient and gentle in everything he does.
Protector, but no overbearing and it’s not the major point of the relationship.
One thing you love about him is how smart he is and that he’s an amazing conversationalist.
This man has been alive for centuries. He speaks multiple languages, history buff, art lover, you can have deep conversations with him and he always has something to say.
Unlike some other Cullens (👀), Carlisle is emotionally stable.
He doesn’t ghost you, play games, or act jealous. All that is a waste of time to him.
Carlisle is able to admit he doesn’t have all the answers and needs help.
“I’m still learning to love you the way you need. Please help me understand. Please.”
He’s loyal and consistent. Everyone else is chaos, he’s the calm in the storm.
He is overall a great partner and easy to be with, you don’t have to try with him and I think that is so simplistically beautiful in a relationship.
