#edzane

[asphodellic]

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

“Ed–” 

“Zane,” Ed cuts in, voice firm, hands on his hips. “There’s nothing fucking wrong with you. Except maybe you’re tired, but how could you not be. You’ve worked, what like fifty some hours this week? You’re doing your job and your fucking manager’s job on top of that, and fucking crushing it. So what if the dishes didn’t get done this week?” 

“I just…I said I’d do them,” Zane sighs. “The kitchen’s a disaster, and you’ve done them for like the past month.” 

“So what? I’m not working as much as you are, and I have time. I’m not mad about it, Zane. I’m your partner. It’s my job to be there to pick up the slack when you need it.” 

“It just doesn’t seem fair.” Zane sighs and scrubs at his face. It’s been a hard week for him, Ed knows that. He’s barely had time to sleep and eat, let alone get to the dishes. He looks slumped and exhausted, and Ed just wants to feed him and then put him to bed. 

But this is important. 

“Hey. C’mere.” Ed wraps his arms around Zane and rubs his back. “You’re doing fucking great, okay? Don’t worry about stuff here. I got it. I’ll do the dishes and order dinner and do whatever needs to get done so you can get through this month. Cause I love you and shit, and that’s how this works, right? You’d do it for me, wouldn’t you?” 

“Yeah,” Zane says, sniffling a little. “Yeah, I would. Thanks, Ed. I…I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“You’ll never have to find out, babe. Now sit your cute ass down and let me heat up dinner for you.” 

Zane holds onto him for a bit longer and then goes to sink down onto the couch. “I love you,” he sighs. 

“Right back atcha,” Ed replies, grinning. 

And everything’s going to be alright. 

[asphodellic]

“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 

“That bad, huh?” Ed asked, maneuvering his car through the construction downtown. Someone behind him laid on their horn, and Ed glanced in the mirror and then flipped them off as they flew past him. “Fucking asshole,” he muttered. “Not you.” 

“No, I figured,” Zane said, and there was a thunk, like the sound of a head hitting a desk. “Ed, I think I might actually kill somebody here today. If my manager doesn’t get off my ass about this stupid workpaper, I’m not gonna be held accountable.” 

“Pretty sure that won’t hold up in court, babe. ‘But your honor, he asked me the same question six times’,” Ed teased.

“Eight, Ed. Eight times.” 

Ed snorted, amused. “I stand corrected. That’ll definitely get you off. If the boss is shit, you must acquit.” 

That at least drew a laugh from Zane, and Ed smiled to hear it. “I wanna go home.” 

“I know. It’s bullshit that you had to go in on Saturday.”

“This job is bullshit.” 

“Walk out. Stage a revolt. Damn the man!”

“You’re silly.” But the smile was audible in Zane’s voice. “I’ll be home by four or so. Will you be there?” 

“Should be. I’m dropping some shit off for a coworker and then I was gonna hit the gym for a bit. Want me to pick up food on the way home?” 

“Pho?” 

“Whatever you want.” 

“You’re the best.” 

Ed grinned. “Nah. Don’t kill anyone. I can’t afford to bail you out.” 

“That’s what the money under the mattress is for.” 

“Oh, right, I forgot. We’re all good, then.” 

“I love you. Thanks for cheering me up.” 

“Anytime.” 

[asphodellic]

The good thing about being the head of his department is that when he wakes up in the morning, feeling like an elephant is sitting on his chest and the air is too thick to breathe, it’s not too much of an issue to send a quick email to his students, canceling his classes for the day. 

He really shouldn’t. He should get up and do his job. Or get up and do the dishes. Or get up and do anything. 

But he won’t. 

He’s too heavy, he’s too sad. He’s...whatever.

Time doesn’t mean anything when he’s under the blankets, curled up around a pillow. His phone buzzes a few times on the nightstand, but he doesn’t reach for it. That takes too much effort, and he doesn’t want to talk to anyone. 

Zane will probably worry if he doesn’t reply for the whole day, but...

Ed sleeps. 

The front door opens at some point later, and Ed feels bad that he hasn’t moved. It’s dark in the bedroom now, but it sounds like too much fucking work to look at the clock. 

“Ed?” 

Shit. If Zane’s home already, then it must be late as fuck. What the hell?

“You home?” 

He opens his mouth, but finding words seems too hard. Before he manages, Zane steps into the room and clicks on the light. “Ed? Are you okay?” 

He works a hand out of the blankets and waves it around, in an approximation of an answer. 

“One of those days?” 

Ed waves his hand again. 

“Me too.” 

He sounds exhausted, and Ed pulls the blanket down so he can see Zane. He looks exhausted too. This is the part where he would ask what happened, see if there’s anything he can do, but at the moment, he can’t do much of anything at all. 

So he crooks his finger and lifts the edge of the blanket cave, inviting Zane in. 

Usually when he feels like this, other people grate on him. He can feel them breathing, hear them thinking, and it makes his skin itch. But Zane’s different. Being with Zane is the same as being alone, in a good way. He never sets off Ed’s introverted nature, never drains him of energy.

In fact, when Zane shucks off his work clothes and then climbs into bed to curl around him, Ed feels better. He shuffles closer and breathes him in, humming softly. 

“You sure this is okay?” Zane murmurs, sounding like he’s already about to fall asleep. 

Ed nods and takes his hand to kiss the back of it.

“Cool. Knock out with me so I know it’s real.” 

That makes him smile and it feels somehow less pathetic to be succumbing to a depression nap when he’s not doing it alone.

[asphodellic]

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

“I fucking can, too,” Ed said, throwing a pillow at Zane’s face. “And you’d fucking deserve it, asshole.” 

“You wouldn’t! You love me.” 

“Not like this I don’t. I want a fucking divorce.” 

“We aren’t even married yet!” 

It would be more serious if Zane weren’t currently cracking up and about to fall off of the bed in the first place. And he was on the wrong side for Ed to be able to kick him off the rest of the way. 

“We never will be at this rate.” 

“Aww, don’t say that,” Zane pouted. “I can change.” 

“No you can’t.” 

“Babe, pleeeease? Give me another chance?” 

Honestly, relenting was his first mistake. “Maybe.” 

“Pwease, Mr. Obama???” 

“Yeah, fuck you, we’re done.” And Ed leaned over to push him the rest of the way off the bed.

[asphodellic]

[vday day 8] It's late when Zane comes back to the apartment, a little tipsy & cold from some frat party. Ed is used to it. Maybe he's almost used to how Zane joins him on the couch, cuddling up to him while Ed plays his video game. He always asks how Ed is, how was his night, talks about what happened at the party. He didn't really do anything except dance, & it's not the first time. Silence passes between them for a moment before Zane speaks again. "You wanna do something for valentine's, Ed?"

Ed has his ‘concentration’ face on, namely narrowed eyes with his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth while he tries to avoid getting shot in the head by the sniper on the other team. His own team is close to victory, and Zane cuddled against his side feels like some kinda good luck charm, but he’s sure as fuck not gonna say that out loud. 

He does a little victory dance when they win, and then startles at Zane’s question. 

He’s pretty sure the last time he did something for Valentine’s was in seventh grade when Winry threw candy hearts at his head for saying her heart shaped brownies looked more like weird ducks. 

But this is Zane, who’s frankly so far out of Ed’s league it’s not even funny. Is it supposed to be like date? Or like one of those ‘hey we’re both single, so let’s go out and celebrate not needing anyone’ kinda things? He’s pretty sure Zane could put on a pair of tight pants and get a date without even trying, but maybe he just wants to spend time with Ed? 

It occurs to him that he’s been quiet for a while now, so he swallows hard and nods. “Sure. Yeah. Sounds like fun.” 

[asphodellic]

calm

[ calm ]   your muse telling mine to ‘just breathe‘.

“Zane?” Ed calls as he lets himself into the apartment, dropping his keys in the bowl by the door and kicking off his shoes. He’ll put them on the rack in a second, right now he can’t be fucked. “You home?” 

He knows Zane’s in the apartment somewhere. There are lights on, and he can hear muttering from the living room. 

“Zane?” 

Ed frowns when there’s still no response. 

He slings his bag over the back of a chair in the kitchen and goes into the living room. It’s a mess of papers and half empty coffee cups, and Zane’s in the middle of it, hunched over his laptop, staring at it with wide eyes and barely breathing. 

It’s something Ed’s seen before, and he kicks himself for not remembering that it’s busy season, when Zane has more work to do than free time, and sometimes it starts to get to him. Zane probably didn’t hear him calling, so wrapped up in his work that he’s blind and deaf to everything else. 

“Hey,” Ed says, walking closer and leaning over to put a hand on Zane’s back. You okay?” 

“There’s. So fucking much to do. Ed, holy shit. How the hell am I gonna get all this done?” He shakes his head, breath coming in shallow bursts. 

“Hey,” Ed says again. “Breathe, okay? You got this. You always get it done. You can do this.” 

“I don’t--” 

“That’s okay, because I do. Here, take a break, yeah? I brought dinner.” 

Zane inhales deeply and then exhales in a rush. “Okay. Yeah. Thanks, Ed.” 

“Anytime.” Ed kisses his cheek and then laughs when Zane pulls him into a real kiss.