GREETINGS, FELLOW PDQ-88B LOVERS!!
If you’re as curious as me, you’ve probably seen these little protruding metal bars on Securitrons and thought “what function do they serve? what is their purpose?”
I’m happy to say that, after countless hours of research and sleepless nights, I have an answer for you all.
They are the Securitron’s “love handles” and they are meant to be held.
That’s right! The chassis of a Securitron has a sizeable circumference, which makes it hard fo a person to wrap their arms around them to give them a hug. So, in order to optimize the action of giving your Securitron companion an affectionate squeeze, these bars were welded onto the lower more slender part of their body. You can wrap your arms around them via resting them on their love handles or go for the “side squeeze” route- whatever way works best for you and your PDQ-88b beloved!
Just remember- Securitrons deserve respect too! If your Securitron sweetheart doesn’t want you to touch their love handles, then DO NOT TOUCH THEIR LOVE HANDLES!
Trust that you will be dealt with accordingly if you disregard their boundaries.
Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk! Go forth and adore Securitrons responsibly!
