Your Abandoned Package For Delivery
WARNING: DO NOT OPEN ANY OF THE LINKS IN THESE EMAILS! This is SPAM, people!
From: William G. Emad Interim Assistance General Manager, (Operations,Maintenance,Transportation) Philadelphia International Airport 8000 Essington Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19153, USA Tel:5702259210 Email: [email protected]
Original Email:
Attention Re: Your Abandoned Package For Delivery I have very vital information to give to you, but first I must have your trust before I review it to you because it may cause me my job,so I need somebody that I can trust for me to be able to review the secret to you. I am Mr.Williams G. Emad, head of luggage/baggage storage facilities (Operations,Maintenance,Transportation) here at the Philadelphia International Airport USA. During my recent withheld package routine check at the Airport Storage Vault, I discovered an abandoned shipment from a Diplomat from Africa and when scanned it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in a Metal Trunk Box weighing approximately 110kg. The consignment was abandoned because the Contents of the consignment was not properly declared by the consignee as “MONEY”rather it was declared as personal effect to avoid interrogation and also the inability of the diplomat to pay for the United States Non Inspection Charges which is $3,700USD. On my assumption the consignment is still left in our Storage House here at the Philadelphia International Airport Philadelphia till date. The details of the consignment including your name, your email address and the official documents from the United Nations office in Geneva are tagged on the Trunk box. However, to enable me confirm if you are the actual recipient of this consignment as the assistant director of the Inspection Unit, I will advise you provide your current Phone Number and Full Address, to enable me cross check if it corresponds with the address on the official documents including the name of nearest Airport around your city. Please note that this consignment is supposed to have been returned to the United States Treasury Department as unclaimed delivery due to the delays in concluding the clearance processes so as a result of this, I will not be able to receive your details on my official email account. So in order words to enable me cross check your details, I will advise you send the required details to my private email address for quick processing and response. Once I confirm you as the actual recipient of the trunk box, I can get everything concluded within 48hours upon your acceptance and proceed to your address for delivery. Lastly, be informed that the reason I have taken it upon myself to contact you personally about this abandoned consignment is because I want us to transact this business and share the money 70% for you and 30% for me since the consignment has not yet been returned to the United States Treasury Department after being abandoned by the diplomat so immediately the confirmation is made, I will go ahead and pay for the United States Non Inspection Fee of $3,700 dollars and arrange for the box to be delivered to your doorstep Or I can bring it by myself to avoid any more trouble but you have to assure me of my 30% share. I wait to hear from you urgently if you are still alive and I will appreciate if we can keep this deal confidential. Please get back to me via my private Email ([email protected])for further directives: You can call me on my telephone number and drop a message at Tel:5702259210 Thank you. Williams G. Emad
My Response:
Dear Mr. Emad,
Thank you for taking the time to email me. Well, I guess you didn’t email me directly, but rather your message was forwarded to me from my friend Bee, and now I am responding in her stead. So yeah, that whole trust thing might be iffy at this point.
While I would absolutely love to enter into a secret, illicit financial endeavor with you at this time, there are a few reasons that I don’t really believe that you are from Philadelphia. Let’s go through them, actually.
1. I did a quick search of your phone number and it seems to me that you have not only sent this exact same email to me (via Bee), but to literally DOZENS of others! What gives, my friend? I thought we could trust each other. What? Am I supposed to believe that multiple African Diplomats have abandoned multiple packages because they didn’t want to pay fees? Come on, that’s just crazy!
2. Your English is WAY WAY too good to be from Philadelphia.
3. You have $3700 just laying around to pay for shady interweb transactions with strangers. We all know that there is no way someone from Philly has access to that much cash outside of some sort of giant cheesteak ponzi scheme.
4. You used Kilograms instead of Pounds. No one in US, especially Philly, knows what that crazy metric system satanic nonsense means when it isn’t referring to the caliber of a rifle (go ‘Merica!)
5. Finally, your manners are way to good to be from Philly, the city that actually spit on me and my younger brothers while we attended a Pre-Season football game with our mother while she was undergoing Chemotherapy. All we were doing was cheering for a REAL Pennsylvania football team...Go Steelers WHOOOOOOOOO!
Also, I don’t really appreciate you using the phrase “if you are still alive.” Thanks for making me look over my shoulder, you jerk.
I guess what I’m saying to you, “in order words,” is that I will not be transacting with you. Have a pleasant rest of your week.
Sincerely,
Fox