#eggshell.tricks

[humanesque-xanin]

i want to stand in the creek. i want to walk outside. i want to pick flowers. i want to be away from the human world for a bit.

the human world wasn't made for me in any way. flat floors hurt me. heavy doors tear at my shoulder. medium-low backed chairs destroy my spine. concrete stairs dislocate my knees. this way of life pulls apart my bones.

and all those flat floors, heavy doors, low-back chairs, hard stairs, everything, damage my body so much that i can't even go where i belong once i've run through the motions of human life.

it's so frustrating to be trapped by the daily injuries i get from my inability to escape. i don't want to hurt this much. i want to be in the river. all i get now is staring at the sun.

[humanesque-xanin]

having an extra psychotic day who wants to lie in the dirt in a playground at night and reconsider our definitions of reality

[humanesque-xanin]

i got a sketchbook for my birthday. a sketchbook that's mine. not for the whole system.

i'm excited to fill it up with not a single line that isn't my own on any page.

[humanesque-xanin]

guys the writer called me a dyke ive been hate crimed

[humanesque-xanin]

we have a very bad friend right now and i’m sad. he’s not being kind to us. i wish he was good. i’m trying to give benefit of the doubt, but all the others think i need to let them cut him out. and i know i agree.

i stopped being the singletsona ages ago and he still assumes i am. he forgot our birthday. he refuses to stop using ableist language. he doesn’t talk to us before we text him. he forgot our birthday party, didn’t tell us if he was coming until less than an hour before, stayed for half of it, and didn’t bring a gift or a card.

he didn’t wish bug a happy birthday at the party. this is their birthday, more than anyone else’s. they turned six. kit’s never gotten older before. bug loves him.

i need to let go. but it hurts. i just want people to be nice. i wish he treated me with the care i take for him.