heisuke/chizuru - 2 drabbles
Traumatic
Memories were a strange and fickle thing. Chizuru could not remember what kind of woman her mother was. Not her face or her voice or the smile she brought to father's face when they were together. Yet she could vividly remember the first time she held Shotsuren in her hands.
The way the cold metal hilt bit into her small palms and the way the weight of it all dragged her skinny arms. A kodachi was smaller than a katana and a six year old girl was even smaller than that kodachi. She remembered thinking the expectations her father imposed on her that day were even heavier.
"This is a blade that has been passed down within our family for generations," her father gravely told her. "You must treat it with the utmost care."
The sheath was so finely made that she had wondered if it was truly a tool meant to kill. But it was soon made clear to her that it was indeed more than just some ancestral decoration when she had cut her hand on its blade. A careless accident born from the curiosity of a child who didn't know any better.
The cut vanished quickly like it always did.
She didn’t think much of it back then.
Like why her wounds would heal faster than the patients who visited her father or why a man would give his six year old daughter a sword and teach her how to use it.
But the time came, soon enough, when she would understand a little bit.
It's fine. It'll be fine.
She chanted those words over and over in her head but it just felt so... hollow... when the reality of it all was right in her face. Blood dripped from its blade back down into the darkness of the streets, bodies were strewn across the ground like broken dolls, and among them is a lone survivor — a woman with tears running down her face. But the real horror of it all was that the cause of this nightmare was wearing Heisuke's face.
His lips were curled into a cruel smile and at his feet was a man’s severed head. His red eyes looked down at the other man’s eyes for a moment... and then he stepped on them. A sickening squish and the monster let out a laugh that sent chills down her spine.
Father... just what in the world were you thinking?
"Stop this! Heisuke-kun!"
But she wouldn't let that monster do what it wanted. She was going to do whatever it takes to get back the Heisuke that used to crack jokes or sneak over some snacks behind Hijikata’s back to cheer her up.
Chizuru stepped between him and the woman, arms stretched out.
“Ggk!”
The blade in her shoulder was cold at first but her wounds burned with fiery intensity as she bled. The wounds were starting to close up, like always, but the cut deep in her chest continued to ache. She had hoped her presence would quell the madness but all she could see in those those red eyes was a predator’s thirst for violence.
That's... not Heisuke-kun.
The last thing he would've wanted was to hurt the citizens he was sworn to protect. The last thing he would've wanted was to betray the ideals that lead him to wear his Shinsengumi uniform even now, despite everything they had gone through.
If he was not going to listen to reason, then she would just have to forcefully stop him. She could take him to Matsumoto-sensei. There may not be a cure to the destructive effects of the ochimizu, but he may have some drugs they could use to pacify Heisuke. It would buy time for her to look for her father’s notes and then they could look for a cure. And then things could go back to how they used to be.
Chizuru unsheathed her sword. In the moonlight she can see the pale reflection of what was once a girl a inside that blade.
“...Nngh!”
While she managed to meet his blade with hers, the force behind the monster’s swing sent her a few inches back. Still, she managed to stay her ground and lift her blade to parry another attack. Her teeth clenched. Parrying his attacks and moving out of the way was not enough if she wanted to bring Heisuke back home.
But it was all she could do if she wanted to stay alive.
Chizuru cursed her weakness. If only she had taken those sword lessons more seriously. If only she had paid more attention to her father’s medical notes and picked up on the formulas that would lead to the creation of the ochimizu.
But it was odd...
Now that she thought about it... her father was a doctor.
Why was a man who dedicated himself to the healing arts also knowledgeable in the ways of the sword?
Chizuru didn’t have time to ponder. She ducked down under the swing of his blade but it wasn’t enough.
“Agh!”
His kick connected and she slammed into the side of a building.
Chizuru coughed. Her arms were shaking as she pushed herself off the ground. His blade struck the ground as she barely managed to roll out of the way.
This is serious... She thought to herself numbly. If I hadn’t dodged out of the way just then, I would have a sword in my chest right now.
Perhaps the injury to her head was more severe than she had thought. She swore she could feel the lights all around them start to burn and burst and dance.
“Heisuke-kun...” Her voice was strained as she watched the monster plucked his sword out of the ground. “Heisuke-kun, please...”
He didn’t stop.
He was going to kill her if she didn’t do something now.
The ringing in her head grew louder.
Louder...
LOUDER...
L O U D E R...
Suddenly, there were flames all around them. She was a child once more and the woman lying on top of her was a silhouette — blurry colors and faded lines. But the words she spoke were so crisp and so clear in her ears. She didn’t know why, but she knew it belonged to her mother.
The sound of a footstep snapped her back into the moment. A dark and dimly lit street and a monster making his way towards her, blade gleaming in the moonlight.
“Heisuke....”
One step.
“Please don’t make me do this.”
Another step.
Chizuru, her mother’s voice whispered into her ear.
“Please, snap out of it!”
Another step and the blade was raised.
Chizuru, you must live.
Murder
The cruel tearing of flesh.
The crunch of bone.
And the fresh blood staining her cheeks and hands.
These images would stay with her for life.
Funny... Even though he was the one with a blade lodged in his chest, she found herself wincing in pain. From the hole where her heart is supposed to be, she could feel a part of herself bleed and die away with him.
Slipping,
slipping,
slipping...
"I-I'm sorry..."
What...?
Why was he the one apologizing when she was the one who-
She looked down to the hand grasping her own — frantic and shaky and weak. Much weaker than it should be. She tightened her hand around his and clenched her teeth.
"Please... don't... l-l-look at me... that way."
It's not like she wanted to deny any of his requests, but it was already so hard for her to fight the tears.
"You were a-always... cutest... when you s-smiled."
"Don't... d-don't say anymore Heisuke. Just... conserve your energy, I... I'll figure something out."
He merely gave her a weak, knowing smile.
She had seen enough people die to know that the light in his eyes is beginning to fade.
No.
No, no, no.
His life can't end, not like this.
He was still so young and there was so much they needed to do. There were so many things she still hadn’t told him yet. And his family... what about his family?
She desperately gripped his body, mind whirling and ripping through memories for a way to salvage whatever that was left of him. There must be something her father taught her to fix this... this mess.
But his body breaks... and it breaks and breaks and breaks until there's nothing but dust slipping through her fingers.
She screamed.
