𝑊𝑜𝑜𝑗𝑖𝑛 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟
𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒:𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡
𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑜𝑥𝑖𝑐 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑟𝑠
𝑁𝑜𝑡𝑒: 𝐸𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑠𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑖𝑧𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 (𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡) ୨ৎ
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒖𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆 "𝑬𝑱𝑬𝑯" 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆
Before you debuted, I knew exactly what we were.
After that… I got used to not knowing.
You didn’t leave all at once. You left slowly. Like someone dimming the lights little by little so it doesn’t hurt as much… except it somehow hurts more.
At first, it was the short messages.
“I’m busy.”
“I have practice, I’ll text you later.”
“I love you.”
Until one day, the “I love you” started disappearing. And I pretended not to notice.
The last time we really talked, you called me. You said there wasn’t enough time, that it wouldn’t work. I just listened to your voice on the other end, feeling something inside me crack in silence. I’ve always been good at writing what I feel, but when it comes to you… my words fall apart.
“I love you… please take care.”
That was the last thing I said before you hung up.
But it wasn’t the last thing between us.
You still texted me at 2 a.m.
“Are you awake?”
And I always was. For you, I always was.
We’d FaceTime until one of us fell asleep. I’d watch your breathing slow down, your face glowing softly from the screen, and I’d feel this ridiculous sense of peace for someone who wasn’t yours anymore. Then you’d disappear for days. And I told myself it was fine. That I understood. That I was strong.
I wasn’t.
I wrote “EJEH” with my heart wide open. Every lyric carried your name even if I never said it. Every pause was a conversation we never finished. I released it not knowing if I wanted you to come back… or if I just needed you to know you broke me.
The next morning, I woke up to your message.
“Woojin… I heard the song.”
Seeing your name on my screen made my stomach drop. Like you’d touched me without even being there.
“Can we talk? In person.”
My hands were shaking when I replied. I tried to sound calm. I wasn’t.
I got there early. Of course I did.
When you walked out of the building and looked at me…
God.
You looked at me and it felt like the world turned its volume down just so I could hear you breathe. You smiled softly, and my knees nearly gave out. You’ve always had that effect on me.
“I didn’t think you’d come this early.”
Your voice was gentle. And I tried not to let you see how much you still undo me.
“I’m not the type to make you wait.”
We started walking. Your arm brushed against mine and it was enough to make my heart slam against my ribs. It was nothing. It was everything.
“I listened to the song…” you said quietly.
You wouldn’t look at me. You were playing with your sleeve, nervous. I wanted to take your hand like I used to, tell you it was okay. But everything felt fragile now. Like one wrong move could break us again.
“I’m really sorry, Woojin.”
You stopped in front of me. You looked at me.
And when you did…
my heart melted. I swear I felt something inside me give in. Your eyes have always been my weakness. When you look at me like that, no pride survives.
“It did hurt,” I admitted softly. “It hurt watching you drift away… feeling you slip through my fingers while I couldn’t do anything.”
I swallowed because if I held your gaze too long, I’d fall apart.
“I don’t blame you. I understand your world. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”
You bit your lip — that small gesture that always destroys me. And when you said:
“I love you…”
The air caught in my lungs. My body didn’t know what to do with hearing that again.
I cupped your face without thinking. Your cheeks were warm. Your eyes were shining. You looked at me like I was still your safe place.
And that broke me all over again.
“I love you too,” I whispered, close enough that our breaths mixed. “But I don’t want to lose you again. If we try… we really try. Both of us.”
You looked at me for a few seconds that felt like forever. Then you nodded.
“I want to try again.”
You smiled.
And that smile…
it made my knees weak. It was the same one. The one that made me fall for you. The one that makes me think I could write a thousand more songs just to see it again.
I kissed you.
It was impulsive. But it was inevitable. Your lips against mine felt like coming home after being lost for too long. You held onto me, and in that moment, all the resentment, the pride, the fear… dissolved.
I rested my forehead against yours.
“You’ll always be my muse. My EJEH. Even when you make me write the saddest lyrics.”
You laughed softly, and I felt it against my chest.
“So you didn’t really move on, did you?”
I looked at you. Really looked at you.
“I can lie in a song… but not when I’m holding you like this. I’d wait a lifetime if it meant feeling this again.”
And when you kissed me back, I knew it wasn’t just nostalgia.
It was a choice.
And for the first time in weeks, my heart stopped hurting…
because you were here.
looking at me like I was still your home.
