Can I have a little fake dating Geraskier? With a side of kisses to prove they're together? That maybe turn into a real make out session later? Because the idiots love each other but have no braincells?
🥺💗🥺💗💗🥺💗🥺
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVELY!! 💖💖💖 This is also on AO3.
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Jaskier pouted at Geralt as he rested his chin on his arms. Geralt glowered at him and took a long sip of his ale. They’d been arguing for a good half an hour already but Jaskier still wasn’t ready to give in. He jutted out his bottom lip and gazed up at the witcher. He understood why Geralt was hesitant. The last banquet they’d been to together had not exactly ended well but this one was delightfully free of royalty and as long as Geralt didn’t feel the need to call the Law of Surprise… then it would be fine.
“No,” Geralt grumbled. Jaskier let out a long sigh and tilted his head.
“Come on…”
“No!”
“Come on!” Jaskier whined.
“I’m not being your bodyguard,” Geralt insisted. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Jaskier winked at the witcher as he bit his lip. “Looking at you like what?”
Geralt grunted.
“So… you’ll come to the banquet to protect me,” Jaskier sang as he sat up and sipped his wine. “but not as my bodyguard?”
Geralt furrowed his brow and hummed.
Jaskier rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Well you still refuse to use the term friend so that won’t work. You’ll have to be my plus one!” He laughed at his own joke, ignoring the spike in his heartbeat.
Just a joke, Jask.
Geralt hummed and tilted his head. “Alright.”
Jaskier choked on his drink, spraying red wine all over the table. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I said alright.”
Jaskier whimpered incoherently, his heart was in his throat. “Geralt.”
“When I act as your bodyguard people try to hire me as a mercenary. I’m a witcher. I kill monsters not people,” Geralt muttered. “Just tell them I’m your husband or something, should stop the cuckolds too.”
Jaskier let out a long shaky breath. Geralt meant they would pretend to be dating. Of course he meant as an act. Jaskier’s traitorous heart had just began to hope that just maybe his love for the witcher would be requited. Shattered hope was surely one of the cruelest emotions in the universe; a shining star that becomes a black hole.
Jaskier snorted and flicked his fringe from his eyes. “You are a terrible actor, witcher. It will never work.”
Geralt smirked. “Oh yeah?”
Jaskier felt a buzz of excitement. The thrill of performance was addictive and it never got old. Jaskier was sure he’d be performing until he was old and grey. “No one will ever believe it.”
Geralt hummed and stood up, picking up his swords. Jaskier followed Geralt’s movement across the tavern with his eyes, still a little stunned by the turn of events. How the fuck was he supposed to pretend he was in love with Geralt without revealing that he was, in fact, actually in love with Geralt?
He groaned and thumped his head down on the table. He should just not go. It wasn’t worth the embarrassment, and it wasn’t even a royal court. He should just tell Geralt not to bother.
Oh but he was weak. A whole evening living out his dreams. How could he say no?
He allowed himself a moment to ogle Geralt’s sinfully round arse whilst the witcher wasn’t looking in his direction, sighing wistfully. He wondered if he would be allowed to squeeze it tonight. It had been far too long since he’d had the chance to massage Geralt and his lovely bottom.
He licked his lips and then scurried after Geralt as the witcher headed upstairs. Geralt didn’t acknowledge him as they entered their shared room. Jaskier jumped onto his bed and crossed his legs whilst he watched Geralt adjust the straps on his armour.
“You’re not wearing that tonight,” He said with a tilt of his head.
Geralt glanced over his shoulder with an exasperated look. “Why not?”
“My husband would not be wearing worn out armour to a banquet. Honestly, if you must wear armour on all occasions at least acquire some ceremonial armour or something! Something that hasn’t been covered in monster guts,” Jaskier waved his hand in the Geralt’s general direction.
“Your husband is a witcher and needs to wear appropriate clothing,” Geralt shot back, raising his eyebrow.
Jaskier glared and scooted to the edge of the bed, “My husband would know that he isn’t going tonight as a witcher or a bodyguard, so doesn’t need to wear bloodied armour.”
“It’s not bloody.”
“Stop being facetious!” Jaskier snapped stalked over to glare at Geralt. His nose pressed right up into the witcher’s space and he gripped Geralt’s shoulder.
“I’m not.”
Jaskier poked him in the chest. “You are. You know I’m right now take. it. off!”
“My husband is a bossy little shit,” Geralt grumbled.
Jaskier eventually managed to convince Geralt that a shopping trip was in order. The witcher scowled the whole time but Jaskier noticed the small flicker of a smile when they found a rather lovely new set of armour. It was a dark navy blue with black leather panels and would look rather dashing on Geralt. Jaskier just had to persuade him that it was for special occasions only. It would be a tragedy if this got ruined by griffin claws or selkimore guts. It had been too expensive for that.
___________
Jaskier’s lute was tuned and ready.
It was show time.
“Come on, darling,” Jaskier cooed as he linked his arm through Geralt’s.
Geralt grunted but let Jaskier lead the way. Jaskier smiled sweetly as he greeted his fellow musicians for the evening. He would be leading the troupe for the night’s festivities but he’d played with a couple of them before. They were a good bunch.
“And this is my husband,” He sang and gazed up at Geralt with the adoration that he usually had to hide. “Geralt of Rivia.”
Essi laughed gaily and put her hands on her hips. “Husband? Since when?”
Jaskier let out a nervous laugh. “Oh umm…well, Geralt?”
Geralt hummed. “We were hand-fasted this winter. It was a quick engagement. Jaskier hadn’t noticed I’d been trying to court him for years, too busy buttering his biscuit elsewhere.”
Jaskier’s jaw dropped before he remembered he had to stay in character. “Ah yes. A beautiful ceremony,” He squeaked. “The mountains are just sublime in the winter.”
“Hmm. It was a dream come true,” Geralt added.
“For both of us,” Jaskier agreed, smiling dopily up at Geralt.
Oh gods, he could see it all so clearly. He’d never been to the witcher’s keep but he could feel the cold mountain air on his face. He could see the puffs of breath escaping Geralt’s lips as he said his vows, eyes shining with love. He wondered what the witcher would wear for such an occasion, perhaps his new armour, or a thick dark winter cloak. The sunlight would be glittering on the snowy mountain peaks as they kissed for the first time as husbands.
Jaskier blushed and chewed on his lip, suddenly unable to meet his witcher’s gaze. It was too much. He wanted this to be real.
Fuck.
Essi narrowed her eyes and glared between the two of them, her long blonde hair falling in front of her face. “Bullshit,” She said. “I don’t believe it for a second.”
Jaskier huffed. “And why not?”
“You’re oblivious Jaskier, but not that much. You’ve been pining over Geralt for years. You would have noticed if Geralt was trying to court you.” Essi cross her arms in front of her chest.
Geralt snorted. “You would think.”
Jaskier gasped and put his hands on his hips to mirror Essi, finally letting go of Geralt’s arm. “I’ll have you know that Geralt didn’t notice my pining either.”
“I did.”
Jaskier glared up at him. “You didn’t say anything, husband,” He said pointedly. “ergo you didn’t notice.”
“We’re married now, husband,” Geralt replied in the same tone. “Let’s not fight.”
Essi still wasn’t convinced. A mischievous smile danced on her lips and Jaskier’s heart sank. He knew exactly what she was going to say before the words left her lips. “Prove it.”
“What?” He snapped.
“You’re not wearing rings, I don’t believe you’re married, or even together. Melitele knows why you would be pretending though.”
Jaskier groaned. “We’re not going to…”
His words were muffled by Geralt’s lips on his. Geralt’s hands cupped either side of his face and his lute fell off his shoulders. Jaskier moaned softly and wrapped his arms around Geralt’s neck, kissing Geralt back in the way he’d always wished he could. If this was to be his only kiss with Geralt then he was bloody well going to make the most of it. Geralt’s hands slid into his hair as the kiss deepened. Jaskier whimpered against Geralt’s lips and he ran in his hands down Geralt’s back to grip his arse.
Geralt chuckled. “Behave, love.”
Jaskier opened his eyes and nipped at Geralt’s bottom lip. “Never, dearest.”
Geralt hummed and slid his hands to Jaskier’s lower back before dipping him towards the floor. Jaskier let out a surprised squeak before Geralt’s lips were on his. He melted into the kiss as Geralt pulled him back up to his feet.
Jaskier pouted as they parted, his lips chasing Geralt for one last peck. Geralt laughed softly and stroked a thumb along his cheek. His golden eyes bore down into Jaskier’s with such open affection that he felt weak at the knees.
“I love you,” Jaskier whispered, feeling the prickle of tears in his eyes. It was the only time he’d be allowed to say it out loud.
Fuck why did it hurt so much?
“Ok, alright, I get it. You’re married.” Essi snorted.
Both Geralt and Jaskier spun round to face her. Jaskier blushed, he’d forgotten his friend was there. “Yeah,” He muttered. “I. I need some air. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll come with you,” Geralt suggested.
“No!”
Geralt frowned but nodded. Jaskier was surely imagining the disappointment in the witcher’s eyes.
“I won’t be long,” He muttered and then fled to the courtyard with his lute on his back.
The cold night air was blissful as he burst through the doors. It was too hot in the hall. Geralt was too much. He was supposed to be a terrible actor. Jaskier had seen Geralt’s acting and it was really not good but for some reason, for a few moments, Jaskier had been utterly convinced.
“Get a grip, Jask,” He ran his hands through his hair and looked up at the stars. “There was no wedding. It’s just an act. He doesn’t love you. Stop acting like a fool!”
He paced outside for a few minutes, fingers dancing on his lute strap. “He doesn’t love you,” He kept repeating the words. Each time was like a dagger in his heart but he prayed to all the gods that his heart would finally get the fucking message. “He will never love you.”
“Who told you that?”
Jaskier tripped up and barely managed to stay on his feet as his eyes found Geralt. The witcher was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked… amused?
The fucker.
“Well it’s fucking obvious isn’t it?” Jaskier snapped with a wide wave of his hands.
Geralt raised an eyebrow. “Is it?”
“Yes!” He paused. “Isn’t it?”
Geralt pushed off the wall and stalked towards Jaskier. Jaskier couldn’t help but stumble back. His heart was too fragile he wasn’t ready to face Geralt, not yet. Blasted witcher was getting his hopes up again. He whimpered as Geralt took his hand and brought his wrist up to his lips.
“No,” Geralt insisted.
“Oh.”
“Hmm.” Geralt turned Jaskier’s hand over and brushed a kiss against his knuckles. “At first I thought you knew. The new boots, sharing whatever I’d hunted, the necklace…” Geralt trailed off.
“Oh,” Jaskier said again, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I just thought… yay presents?”
Oh gods, he’d been an idiot.
“And then when I bought you the dagger last summer?” Geralt asked with a tilt of his head. “You just smiled and said thank you. Not even a kiss on the cheek. I knew then you had no idea. I’ve seen your dalliances, knew you weren’t bothered by propriety.”
Jaskier groaned and buried his face in Geralt’s chest. “I’ve been an idiot.”
“Mhmm.”
“I just thought you were sick of defending me all the time!”
Geralt snorted. “There’s that too.”
“So… the dagger?” Jaskier asked quietly. He was a former noble. He knew the significance of jewelled daggers as a courting gift, but he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.
“I was asking you to marry me.”
“Fuck,” Jaskier groaned. “Seriously, fuck it all. How did I not see? I’m supposed to be a bard!”
Geralt’s finger tilted his chin up and he pouted up at the witcher. “So you see, it’s not impossible.”
Jaskier smiled weakly and then laughed as he remembered, “That’s why you agreed to be my plus one!”
Geralt nodded. “You were joking but,” he shrugged “why not?”
“You knew I loved you!” Jaskier cupped Geralt’s cheek.
“I hoped.”
“Can I kiss you?” Jaskier asked quietly. “For real this time.”
Geralt smirked and brushed his nose against Jaskier’s. “Was real last time.”
“Geralt!” He whined.
“You can kiss me.”
And so he did.
That winter they were married at Kaer Morhen and it was everything that Jaskier had imagined and more.
______
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37. “Hey, don’t raise your voice at me!” geraskier please :D
thank you for the prompt!! <3
this is from this prompt list
I tried not to think about this too much and just wrote down something short. I hope you like it!
CW: mention of minor injury
read on ao3
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Geralt had just returned from a hunt and only grunted a greeting to Jaskier. The bard was standing at a small table with the back to him, counting the coins he had earned with his performance tonight. Without turning to Geralt he instantly started asking him questions about the fight, but when Geralt just responded with ‘hmm’s, Jaskier had shrugged and talked about his performance.
He heard Geralt sit down on the bed and turned around.
“And you won’t believe what the barmaid told…” but stopped mid sentence as he noticed the cut on Geralt’s forehead and walked over.
The witcher looked up at him with a scowl.
“Let me have a look,” Jaskier said softly but sternly, reaching over to place his hand on the side of Geralt’s head.
“It’s nothing,” the witcher mumbled.
Jaskier shook his head and fetched a clean piece of cloth from his bag, a bowl of water and a small pot with healing balm.
He dampened the cloth and as he reached over to Geralt once more, the witcher growled, “Jaskier!”
With an indignant huff the bard put his hands on his hips and said, “hey, don’t raise your voice at me!”
“I haven’t…” Geralt began but was interrupted by Jaskier saying “oh, hush!” before the bard unexpectedly made a quick step towards him and shoved Geralt’s upper body to the bed. Quickly he climbed on the bed and onto Geralt, straddling him with his legs left and right from the witcher’s hips.
“What the…” Geralt tried to protest again and was - again - interrupted by his bard.
“Honestly, Geralt, stop complaining and let me take care of you.”
They both knew that Geralt could have easily dodged Jaskier’s ‘attack’ and pushed him off and Jaskier counted it as a success that he hadn’t.
So the bard leaned forward, placed one hand next to Geralt’s head to balance himself and started to clean the cut. When he was done with that, he applied the healing balm.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it now?” He asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow and Geralt had to admit - in the privacy of his own mind - that he agreed.
Heard you got a shitty anon 🙄 so I wanted to stop by and say I think you're neat and they suck. Can't understand why people would waste the time.
Keep up your amazing work and content for the fandom 💗 you're awesome
Ahh, cheers! Really appreciate the drop in
It's no drama, really. I've had a lot worse, and I know others get harassed all the time for such things.
Hopefully they've had a nice natter on Discord about what a dickhead I am, and got it out their system so they can get back to producing content.
I did read the post back a few times and thought that, if someone was just looking for reasons to be an ass, then maybe? But I mentioned a time when there was 14-ish pages of Eskel content and then started writing him from that; I've added a disclaimer to be extra clear. He wasn't widespread or that popular at the beginning of 2020. But eh, people that thrive on negativity will find a way.
I wish fandoms published their damned rules about not being allowed to be proud of your content and contributions...
