#elementoftheeye

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Well, the film developed and a contact sheet created. It's always awesome when an unknown roll of black and white film is developed and something actually appears. This roll was confirmed to be 50 years old by the t-shirt one of the guys was wearing... that never almost never happens. The street hockey is cool too. If you find film get it developed... our local photo lab doesn't develop old black and white or slides, they still process C-41... and offer 1 hr turn around.

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The fight is done. Maybe to long to bother reading but it's on my mind. This is my wife's horse Sysko. This photo was taken over 20 years ago in Feb. 2005. She got him when he was 5 years old and we just lost him this year. He made it to his 32nd birthday. This was a tough winter on him, the extreme cold and some health issues. on Tuesday the painful decision was made that he was in to much pain and it would be selfish to continue his treatments. He had competed up until last summer. Not being ridden but in-hand obstacle courses. He would pretty much do whatever she wanted him to. They were connected. His last moments he ate about 3/4 of a bag of black licorice and many more treats on top of that. He was at peace and honestly looked ready to go. We watched as he went down his last time. No more pain, the vet tech was a friend and she had her forehead on his as he went down... comforting his journey. He was graceful and somehow elegant. He touched a lot of people, he was used as a reining horse, and a school horse at a local college for dressage lessons, he competed up to 3rd level... pretty good for a quarter horse. There is a wall in our house with his many ribbons. I am honestly surprised at how I feel. I was never much into horses, I would take photos sometimes. Didn't think I would feel the pain and emptiness. maybe it is just because how my wife feels... when she talked about him her eyes sparkle, and now the tears run down her cheeks. This will take a long time to process. I had a dream that night, he came running up from the creek, shiny and glowing golden his hooves pounding the ground, dirt flying behind him... past me and disappeared where the barn would have been... finally no more pain. Rest in Peace Sysko 3/3/2026.

Sysko in the snow in 2016. Clowning it up. That's a really good memory.

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Probably not worth the read... Sometimes I end up in pretty dark depression. I take a supplement for this, mostly it keeps these feelings on hold... yesterday was one of those days....but first Saturday was pretty good. It was a pretty busy day, sunny and we were busy doing some shopping for food and a few odds end ends... we had diner with friends, then watched a movie on Netflix... a predictable hallmark style movie... "Champagne Problems" it was fun and went to bed a little later than normal. Sundays used to be a real struggle for me... mostly from my divorce many years ago.... anyway, we woke up, ate, took care of the pets and got ready for church... our church changed its time to 9:00 and its about 20ish minutes away... we rolled in right at 9:00. I dislike being late, but honestly they rarely start on time. Yesterday was no exception... BUT when I walked in nobody had the live stream setup... so I walked over and started that task. It isn't a difficult task. I was a little irritated... then someone came over to tell me they added some new hymns, so that needed changed, and they were somewhere in the cloud.... then I heard someone say something else needed changed.... and there were people standing all around me. I got up and asked someone else to finish it.... That was the my start down the dark slide, that caused me to gain speed like some one waxed the sliding board, I went and sat with my wife and struggled through the service, not really paying much attention to the sermon or hymns... we are a small church, usually 20-30ish people. I was ready to leave... but they started decorating for Christmas. My heart was pounding and I was getting even more upset.... at this point, nothing could turn this bus around... I was deep in my head. My wife askes what is wrong, and I honestly don't know how to explain it. I guess it's like a switch... and unfortunately it gets to a point when I really would rather just sit with the darkness/misery... I could have gone for a bike ride, but that feeling doesn't release with than, even walking the dogs doesn't help. I did get the ladder out and clean out the lower gutters... by the time we are getting ready for bed I am feeling a little better, but I woke up kind of in that same mood... It will subside sometime today or tomorrow... I am sure there are many factors that flip that switch, I went to counseling years ago and it seemed to make it worse... hmmm just ride it out. tis the season I guess.

My problems are small in comparison. This is me just venting, part of my process maybe. I am not sure.

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From Sundays trip to Hershey Gardens. It was pretty cool this day, upper 50's, people rode this tangle of coasters nonetheless.

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I sometimes feel like I won't have any new followers because I am blocking so many profiles. Assuming they are bots.

I added a bit of color to Sysko's sign yesterday. Took some watercolor pens and some wax to protect it from running or smearing.

Yesterday was beautiful.... but back to more seasonal temps and weather today and this week. It was a really nice break.

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A good day better. It's our anniversary today 25 years. Walking the boys before heading to Hershey Gardens. Love catching a glimpse of these huge birds. It must be just shy of adulthood, when it turns its head there is still some dark on the otherside. There were 2 one flew before I could get my phone out.

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Rainy and very cool day at the feeder. Don't normally see a Brown Thrasher here on the feeder. They generally hang out under the forcythia hedge row...

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Sweet smells

We did almost 20 miles on the tandem yesterday on the Cumberland Valley Rail Trail. Lots of walkers and cyclists oh and 5 equestrians. A beautiful day and the smell of honeysuckle in the air was magnificent.