#elizafaraday

[scriptshrink]

How can I write intrusive thoughts in a 1st person narrative?

Anon4

“The same way you’d normally write a thought, followed by anxiety or dismissal of said thought” is how I’ve been doing it in my own writing because that tends to be how it goes for me

Anon32

I agree. Maybe with repetition. My intrusive thoughts usually stick around until the situation is passed. So like if I have an intrusive thought about dropping a fragile item, it will stay until I have put it down safely. If I have an intrusive thought about driving off a bridge, it won’t fully go away until I’m over the bridge.  So, just What if I drove off the side of the bridge? No, I’m driving straight and it would be bad if it happened, so I should just be careful and keep driving straight. But what if it just happens? It happens in my dreams all the time. It wouldn’t be like in my dreams because in my dreams my car is able to drive underwater and there’s still fresh air, so just keep driving, I’m almost past and it will be ok.

elizafaraday

TW: violence and blood mentions 

An intrusive thought is like having some pessimistic voice in your head with a one track mind and is impossible to be argued with. In the past, I’ve had one about stabbing my significant other. And not just a voice. I imagined it at random times. The blood. The knife I would use. I never would have acted on it, but whenever I got stressed out and felt trapped and overly criticized I almost fantasized about it. I was horrified by the thought. But that didn’t make it go away. What made it go away was not stressing about it or trying to suppress it. Basically accepting it, and realizing why I was having those thoughts. And just saying “I won’t.” So I guess, there doesn’t have to be just thoughts but visions are possible. And fighting them makes them more stubborn.

Charlie

I always, always had images in my head but I don’t really think in words - just images. So I always saw really detailed images of these bad things, just flashes, but they wouldn’t go away.

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[scriptshrink]

Any advice for showing a character is having intrusive thoughts/memories (the character has PTSD)? I already show him having flashbacks and nightmares but what about plain ol thoughts/memories that aren't either of those? How should they be written differently? Do you know any examples of stories with a character facing PTSD that would be good references for this?

elizafaraday

Not all symptoms of PTSD are vivid or directly correlated to anything. I can only speak to personal experience, so please feel free to correct me. I am not sure how much is OCD or dealing with trauma. But sometimes I get a jolt of fear from thinking about the events too vividly. Or if something about my body reminds me about my attacker (scars or realizing we had the same eye color), I get a spell of the “willies”. Just an uncomfortable skin crawling, stomach jolting feeling. Panic attacks are common for me when there is too much noise or people too close behind my back. If I’m in a crowd I stress and have to find a wall to lean against to catch my breath. I get unsettled by having people taller than me too close or seeing someone move their arm up to their head too quickly. But not full on panic attacks. Just a momentary jump scare. Inability to relax is a common symptom too. It took me months to be  able to slow down enough to focus on a book long enough to read. And restless sleep,  even without vivid dreams. Just tossing and turning and not being able to turn off the feeling that something could go wrong.

I don’t know if that was helpful. But for good references, I highly recommend Change of Address by Jordan Brock. It is a wonderful story and #OwnVoices.

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[scriptshrink]

So my character is a man with social anxiety. Would it be realistic for him to fall in love by then break up with his partner because he feels so nervous around him?

Rebel

Yes… Your character is avoiding the source of his anxiety (the partner), and avoiding is classic social anxiety (and anxiety in general) behaviour.

barc0de

Damn relatable.  I think every relationship I’ve had I ended because it made my anxiety get so high. I also cant keep up with NT peoples need to communicate every second of the day

Basically anxious people: need a lot of space 

Relationships: much less space

Anon32

Alternatively, social anxiety, need to be reassured constantly that they aren’t a bother and the partner does want them around, but they can’t ask for the reassurance or they will definitely be a bother. So they don’t ever ask for what they need in the relationship. And somehow, those actually go together. I need constant reassurance that I’m not a bother and I am wanted, but I also don’t want to talk all the time. My partner gets upset that I don’t call on breaks or want to talk on the ride home from work, but he also doesn’t understand my desire to have a hand on his leg while in the car or that I ask for hugs a lot when we are home, just random reassuring contact.

Jellyfish

I’ve never been in a romantic relationship but I know with friendships that have been difficult the only thing that is stopping me from ending it is the fear of how they will react when I actually try to end it with them

elizafaraday

Also, some one who is with a person with anxiety has to be really blunt. Like, I love my spouse because he has a way of bringing up issues in a reassuring way or forgetting them. He doesn’t let resentments brew and get worse, so I can just trust him. If he isn’t mentioning it, it isn’t a problem. I couldn’t deal with someone who didn’t say what they meant.

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