#ellecrabby

[probablymaybelline]

“Upsie fucksies.”

-Modern Proverb

[probablymaybelline]

“He didn’t even offer to walk me home. It’s Halloween! I mean I’m not worried about ghosts but like... murderers?”

-Me, 2017

[probablymaybelline]

Social Misadventures: Sleeping With the Enemy

Me: "Do you know how many people I met this weekend who are voting for Gary Johnson? Because they can't decide between the 'lesser of two evils'????"

Emma: "FUCK A GARY JOHNSON SUPPORTER"

Me: "I tried, man."

Dani: "GARY JOHNSON"

Emma: "Keep it in your pants CC"

Dani: "sexy kind of"

[probablymaybelline]

Social Misadventures: The Bagelist Manifesto

Innocent bystander: "Where are the bagels from?"

crimeswithemma: "A place by work called Pick-a-Bagel. It’s a chain, the name of which enrages me. Because that’s just what happens at a bagel shop. You ALWAYS pick a bagel. It’s the business model! It’s not descriptive of what happens at that particular shop!"

[probablymaybelline]

2016, drumroll please

After much debate, @ellecrabby‘s and my new motto for 2016--

“Say yes to things!*”          *Not to everything**               **To some things

Runner-up: “2016: Don’t vote for Trump”

[probablymaybelline]

Advent Advice: Day 9

“Fall in love with someone who treats you like Kanye treats Kanye.” -- @ellecrabby quoting @dariatbh

[probablymaybelline]

"Catherine, when it comes to relationships - always take the blue pill."

ellecrabby giving me advice. (Follow up: "Or the red pill? You know, The Matrix? Whichever one means you don't know anything!")