#elly's queue

[estelleflo]

Just wanted to say this

I'm sorry for spamming yuri on ice stuff for the past couple of months. It honestly helped me get through my final semester of grad school and I am grateful it came into my life. I still feel down nowadays, but it honestly is something I've used to help me cope during these hard times of being jobless 3 months out of graduation and delving deeper into anxiety. I know it's not the greatest anime out there. I know the animation needs a lot of work. But it's been there when I couldn't find the words to speak about how I feel. I might delete this post later so if you reblog or reply, shrugs.

[estelleflo]

Omg fam I'm graduating.

It's almost here: the day that I graduate with my master's omg....

[estelleflo]

I want to do ballet again...

I’ve been longing for that feeling of being on my toes and finding my center while doing pirouettes. As a kid, I did enjoy it at first, but then because of my family situation, my height and confidence, I didn’t practice enough nor was I really good enough in comparison to the rest of my classmates. Being on pointe was difficult when puberty hit you like a bus. In case you didn’t know, I did pointe for 3 out of the 8 years I did ballet.

But after watching Yuri!!! On Ice, that spark came back. I want to get back into shape. I want to do choreography. I want to finally accept my curves and continue to dance, no matter how awkward I look.

I know this post sounds sappy and dumb and sounds like I’m bandwagoning because of that one anime, but you don’t know how much this means to me. Even though I hated ballet, I loved it. It was the core part of my childhood. I still do some moves from time to time to maneuver or to show off. It felt great despite the fact that my adolescent years were hell.

Once I get a job, I’m signing up for adult classes. I need this for myself.

[estelleflo]

Random Dream I had....

Yesterday I took a nap, about an hour and a half long. In that nap I dreamt that I had a VIP to Mamoru Miyano's world tour (which BTW I really think he should really do that omg) and one of his stops was NYC, where I am from. The VIP ticket allowed me to see him backstage and get a signed copy of one of his albums (or was it for his recent GENERATING! tour?). When I finally went to meet him backstage, I cried and said in broken Japanese "I listened to all of your albums and read your blogs almost everyday. Your music brings me a lot of joy and you are an amazing person. Thank you so much for producing this music I really love it so much." He then smiled, and then said to me "thank you for enjoying my music. Your words are really humbling and I appreciate them with all of my heart. Please continue to enjoy my music." When I woke up, I felt as if this dream came true, but was saddened that it wasn't. I really hope that he does do a world tour one year. I love his music and personality so much!

[estelleflo]

When you want to be friends with everyone but you're never gonna appeal to everyone

It's hard being an emotional and friendly person. Because even with the flaws that you have with yourself, you always want to give everyone the time of day, yet you're never gonna get that. TW: This is a rant so this is a generalized statement on my feelings. Don't feel bad because it isn't about you. I honestly try really hard with everyone to be their friends. I honestly do. It just breaks me every time when someone says "oh you're trying to be my friend because you're pitying me" or "you're faking why should you give me the light of day." I. Can't. STAND. THAT. SHIT. Like I would never in my life try to fake being someone's friend out of pity or because they were faking. I've experienced that many times throughout my 23 and a half years of life. I've been pitied and made fun of and that itself causes anxiety. I get it: you can't trust people in your life because you've been hurt a lot and decide to disconnect. But at the same time, by putting all this pressure and anxiety on someone who tries a lot of times to be your friend in a genuine way, doesn't that feel awful to do so? I have a small circle of friends and it takes me a lot to open up to them. So I understand how you feel, even if I am more sociable. Do me a favor and let me just be your friend. I'm not doing it out of pity or to be fake. I am doing it in general interest in you and I don't want you to be lonely much like how I feel most of the time now.

[official-serenity-chronicles]

Whoa I haven’t done anything in a while...

So to let you guys know that I’m still working and not being a lazy bum (even though I practically am right now), I have complied a list of stuff I am working on: 

We Are Ever Connected: The ending song for Serenity Chronicles. I am going to warn you all now: I’m not much of a singer. True I can hold a note and stuff, but I’m not really musically inclined, so bare with me please. ^^; I have a simple melody planned out, but none of the other musical stuff planned yet. The lyrics are planned out, but there’s this one line I’m having trouble with. If you’re interested, send me an ask.

Magenta: For those of you who don’t know, I will be using nano’s Magenta as my first opening. I think that it fits well with the overall theme of Serenity Chronicles. You should listen to nano, they are a great singer <3 I hope to use more of their music as long as copyright doesn’t chase me out.

Episode 6: I’m writing the script of episode six right now so that I can have my VAs prepared ahead of time. So while I’m waiting on lines for episode one, I will be writing more scripts and having people do a beta read through to see if things make sense.

I hope things go well with you all in the future. Be sure to tune in~!

[official-serenity-chronicles]

How To Animate A Fight Scene

[official-serenity-chronicles]

Devastation

So I lost everything. All of my files, etc.

Yea I know, I should have backed them up. But I had no time because 1. my new external is on its way and 2. my computer blue screened before i had the chance to.

So now, I'm just pissed beyond belief.

Expect crying in the near future.