#elmike patterns

[gayofthefae]

Oh also since Jonathan and Nancy broke up we can double down on the tell vs show and that couples who SAY "I love you" are doomed. Jason and Chrissy, Steve and Nancy, Jonathan and Nancy, Mike and Eleven are the only ones to have. Every other couple has just demonstrated it.

[gayofthefae]

The idea of some level of sadness, "rock bottom", or vulnerable state of some kind being a requirement for Milkvan's moments to happen.

Mike kissing El after watching Will enjoy dancing with a girl.

El kissing Mike only after her dad died.

And both of them having the opportunity to do so for a month, but not doing it until then.

[gayofthefae]

This post about how crazy together isn't romantic because it's a sweet scene but because they are shown before this point to act differently with each other when other people are around.

And now I'm thinking about the patterns of Mike's behavior with Will and El with witnesses vs without.

Byler with witnesses:

Without witnesses:

Elmike with witnesses:

Without witnesses:

(also it is really funny to see it laid out how little screentime Mike and Will are given anything but alone together and how little Mike and El are given alone together)

And many of these are immediate. Mike is grumpy with Will on Halloween then the crazy together scene is under an hour later. Mike is laughing with El skating and their fight is the next morning. The only change is that they're alone, more honest.

Mike and Will are not romantic in public. But they also aren't really platonic in private.

Mike and El are not platonic in public. But they also aren't really romantic in private.

On the occasions they are, she is treated as a witness too - with him being shown unhappy as soon as she's gone.

Both shift their behavior based on witnesses. But where Mike hides affection and romance from others, he performs it for others with El.

And shifting your behavior, secrets in general all tend to boil down to one thing: what you do in private is the truth. Public is the performance.

He's been happy alone with her before. But never romantically. Always joking or talking.

But tensing and hesitating when physical affection comes into play

And we know clearly what way Mike is happiest with Will. Seeming to maybe even subconsciously, given its consistency and immediacy, become more physically and verbally affectionate as soon they're alone.

But tensing and distancing when others walk in.

There's an element of the mask falling. This effort that we see him collapse out of in some cases when he's alone in his ideal state with them. Like the immediacy I referenced with his relaxation with Will, but the same is true of the contrast between his fake public smiles and real, relaxed smiles with El when they're alone platonically.

It's not that when he's in public with Will or El he necessarily seems tense, we don't actually even need that, and it's why it's harder to see outside of his perspective -

It's that as soon as he's not, he's visibly relieved.

You don't need to convince me you're tense as long as I see because suddenly way more relaxed. You don't need to convince me your happiness is fake as long as I see a much more convincing smile from you later. I'll fill it in.

We know two things here:

- What Mike wants others to perceive of him and Will is friendship, what he wants others to perceive of him and El is romance.

- Mike is visibly relieved and more relaxed as soon as he can stop these public performances.

It is an extremely consistent pattern. There is only really one condition under which we see Mike platonic with Will. One condition in which we see Mike romantic with El.

And it's for. others.

As soon as they're gone, he stops. This isn't for him. This isn't what he wants. It's only how he wants to be perceived, but that's his only remaining reason for doing it. No others bar him as soon as it's gone.

Mike is only romantic with El and not romantic with Will out of fear of public perceptions otherwise. That is what his behavior reflects.

[gayofthefae]

"Mike is straight" every time he has done anything romantic towards El it is because someone directly told him to and how be so fr

[Additionally, it took them effort to convince him to do it every time, with much initial confusion on his part as to why he would

If you love her so much, why don't you marry her? - what are you talking about?, 5 episodes before he makes a move

The olive branch - the what? He does not make a move at all in the following 3 episodes in the season, she does

You never say it, you're the heart, she needs you - I just didn't know what to say 4 episodes before he makes a move]

[gayofthefae]

Nothing, I'm just saying it's kind of suspicious that almost every time El cries over Mike it's because she experiences proof of him not loving her or moving on from her

But when Will cries about him it's consistently because of unconfirmed beliefs Will came up with himself

I'm just saying it's suspicious how when his girlfriend cries it's always because she found proof, however credible, that he doesn't love her but when the guy he "actually doesn't love" cries about the same thing, there's no basis.

It's just funny to me how they would only provide receipts for the thing that supposedly isn't true and give absolutely nothing for the thing that supposedly "obviously is"...

Also, it's funny, I felt inaccurate describing Will as "consistently" because he isn't written to be hurt by their relationship enough for an actual pattern to emerge, hmm...

But honestly this is how you prove shit and this is why we know shit. It isn't about how you were supposed to catch it already. It's about how suspicious it is that if he doesn't love El, there are lots of setups to point to to prove they've been writing the plot that way for years, but if he doesn't love Will, there's just about nothing besides an audience member's own heteronormativity on an individual basis and nothing the show provided.

As I've said, I went in believing Mike loved El and was disproven successfully. I then proceeded believing Mike loved Will and have yet to be. I was not a Byler when I was disproven. I was rooting for Mike and El, in fact. Information is still information. I still received it.

It's all about setups. If they set up only one plotline/payoff and did absolutely nothing for the other and those are the only two options, then we know what's gonna happen. It's that simple.

[gayofthefae]

This post I just made about Mike and El almost kissing in 1x07 and the idea of Mike being gay and the fact that there are only two moments I felt in any way swayed away from that this season.

"Pretty" 1x04.

"Still pretty?" "Yeah, really pretty" 1x07

I in past had seen in it 1x03 too but this time I saw that "I understand" moment also as wholesome excitement about his new friend, seeing her as officially something more long-term in his life.

But his lines about her being pretty felt genuine. The more recent one felt honest, and the first one felt like he didn't mean to say it out loud. Like it just came out and it was too late.

But the funny thing about me noticing now that those are the only instances is that...

Aesthetic attraction is an entirely separate thing.

Just like much of the amazing "queer people can be convinced they're straight" representation we already get from him regardless, this is another piece of that under acknowledged side.

A gay man or lesbian can have aesthetic attraction to the opposite gender and still be gay or a lesbian.

It is actually the entire basis of how many do not have any way of knowing until their first kiss with the gender they aren't attracted to (and many much later).

This is honest because it is true. He can be aesthetically attracted to her in the same way as a straight guy....just with nothing else. I know plenty of gay men and lesbians who experience this.

As a lesbian, I'll admit, Andirudh Pisharody is fiiiiiine. And that does not impact my sexuality. I would not kiss the man. One big thing that helps people with comphet is the reminder that romantic attraction is about follow-through. Concept but not action is not attraction, you are not attracted, physically pulled to, them in that way.

Mike may be the same. The only convincing attraction to women I've seen from him is aesthetic. He's looking around the room as he leans in to kiss El. He doesn't lean back when she leans in in season 2. He takes her hands off his face. It consistently speaks to performs, a favor for her after the tone in the air shifts to romantic. And maybe he thinks this is the extent what you are supposed to feel. That this is it.

This entire season has been plausibly platonic to me. The only romantic moments are ones of aesthetic attraction, with anything further, him starting to appear actively anxious.

And aesthetic attraction does not disprove gayness. Like I said, he may simply be joining the many before him who did not discover their sexualities until attempting a relationship. I mean, we knew this already.

But this is a place on the spectrum. And it is a place that is still validly gay. Appreciative of beauty. But nothing more.

And that adds to his confusion. That, too, contributed to my analysis of the 1x07 scene that I linked. He finds her pretty. It's right there in that same scene: "yeah, pretty. Really pretty." He feels honest about that.

And he knows it's supposed to go hand in hand with something.

But for him, it just doesn't. And that's okay. Common, even. Normal.

[gayofthefae]

Mike saying he loves El then it cutting to everyone's reactions then back to him panicking (showing that their reactions are what prompted him to panic) and Mike touching his forehead to El's then looking around and his face falling as he turned back to El are the same.

He loves El and he loves her openly and comfortably. Until he is starkly reminded of how it is perceived and it all starts to feel like a lie, and one he has to repeat, and now it's uncomfortable again.

It's why he opted for "blank makes you crazy". And it's why his hand shook when he took El's.

He meant it when he said he loved El. And he was comfortable and happy when he embraced her at their reunion. Until he remembered the weight it holds and the promises it implies. Everyone saw it, she heard it, and they're all expecting things from him now.

[gayofthefae]

If Milkvan were endgame they would have had a love triangle before and that's just on patterns. Before they started dating, season 1 or 2. Know why? Bc they LOVE their main character endgames having love triangles.

Love triangle

Love triangle

Love triangle

Steve Nancy and Jonathan got A SECOND ONE before Mike and El had ONE focusing on them

Oh, and this?

This was not a Mike and El focused love triangle. See, if you go through all the others, they were always about focused on a person NOT in a getting the girl/guy, usually over their current partner who they were not truly happy with. Hell, even in season 4 with St@ncy, which I do not personally believe to be endgame, there's no denying that that was the FOCUS!

Every couple got a love triangle to build them up to getting together. All endgame couples and even one not - since Nancy/Jonathan/Steve got one favoring both directions. And yet, Mike and El have none. 0 in which she is pining for him, competing for him, in fact, she does not participate in her love triangle AT ALL. She remains unaware of Will's involvement (kinda like Bob) then leaves with no comment on him at all for the remainder of almost the whole season.

Well, actually, there was one other main romance without a love triangle: the only other romance with no love triangle....Stobin. You know, "Platonic with a capital P".

We know in many non-romantic contexts they have their tropes and their references that they LOVE and they stick to them. We also know that if all the couples around them. And one thing we can see from that is that every endgame couple between two main characters gets:

A love triangle in which character A, who is not dating character B, is pining over character B but character C also likes or is with them. Character A gets character B in the end.

They love love triangles as BUILDUPS. Not strengthening relationships, you can't "win" your current boyfriend.

Fighting to be with someone who is in a relationship is an obstacle. Fighting to keep the person you've been dating for years from leaving you for someone else does not end in a "win", it ends in a "we have issues". It is not a payoff, it is a wakeup call.

It makes sense for someone to be choosing between you and another person if they are with that person already. It signifies cracks if they are choosing between you and another person despite having been with YOU for years.

It is not the big romantic build and payoff it was framed as for Mike and Eleven.

Every endgame main character couple has won a love triangle TO get together. Mike and El never have. The best they've done is defend their relationship against emotional infidelity that shouldn't have happened in the first place if they were so in love and strong.