Their customary milkshakes, at a small family run restaurant between the community center where Des attends his rehabilitation meetings and their old apartment. A bit out of the way now that they've moved, but not enough to deter them from the only place they've found that carries the blackberry and chocolate flavor they've come to prefer.
“I'm leaving for Var Bellanaris,” she announces “Tomorrow.”
Des's eyes snap away from his phone screen, attention fully on her, now.
“I'm sorry. I think I must've hallucinated for a moment there. What did you just say?”
“I bought a plane ticket to Verchiel,” she continues “It'll only be a few days walk to get there if I take the old paths. I should be back by the end of the week.”
“Why would you ever go back there?”
Selene lets out a sigh, fidgeting with the end of her straw. “It's been fifteen years since I saw Mamae. You know Elrogathe hasn't made the journey. Someone should check on her.”
Des blows into his milkshake, bubbles rising rapidly to the surface as he gives her his best 'you have got to be shitting me' look.
“You're truly awful at the 'leave the past in the past' thing, y'know?”
“It's not like I'm going back to see the clan-” she points out.
“What did you tell the others? I can't imagine Fear handling the news of you flying to the Dales alone well.”
Selene shifts awkwardly on her side of their booth, silently stirring the chocolate chips deeper into the depths of her milkshake.
“You didn't tell them yet.” Des realizes flatly.
“Fear wouldn't take well to this, you're right-”
“You have to tell them.”
“I will.”
“Before you leave.”
Selene shifts again, looking guiltily into her purple drink.
“I don't want it to be a thing.”
“Well if you leave without telling them, it'll be a much bigger thing.”
“It's not so different from when they leave for tour, and they're gone for months at a time.”
“And they always tell us beforehand. And keep in touch during.”
Selene sighs, and takes a long drink. “Fine. I'll tell them at dinner.”
–
Dinner comes and goes, and Selene is just finishing drying the dishes with Dirthamen when Des loudly clears his throat.
“Selene has something she'd like to say.” He announces.
Selene sends him a glare as she comes around the corner, dishtowel still in her hands.
“Thank you, Des.”
She rolls back and forth slightly on the balls of her feet as four pairs of eyes settle on her expectantly.
“I'm going on a small trip tomorrow,” She admits. “But I won't be gone long. Less than a week.”
Fear carefully places the book they had been reading down on the coffee table and looks up at her, chin resting on the back of their hands. “Where are you going?”
“I'm flying into Verchiel, and the rest of the trip will be made on foot.”
Fears mouth opens with what she is sure is a long string of questions and holes to poke in her plans, but Deceit speaks first.
“Where are you walking to, exactly?”
“Var Bellanaris.”
The room goes silent for a moment, before Dirthamen finally steps out from the kitchen and places a consoling hand on Selenes shoulder.
“I am sorry for your loss. Is there anything we could do to make this easier for you?”
“Oh, no!” Selene explains, shaking her head slightly. “No one's dead. I mean, yeah, Mamae technically is, but she's been dead for a while now. No one's died recently, though. Well, that's not true, someone definitely has, but no one I know personally. It's just...it's been a long time, and I finally have the money and time to check on her, so I thought I...would.”
“One of us should go with you,” Deceit pipes up again. “You shouldn't go alone.”
“It'll be safer if I do. None of you are Dalish, you're not supposed to set foot near Var Bellanaris.”
“Neither are you.” Des points out.
Selene huffs. “I know the rituals, and the proper rites. One trespasser will be better than two.”
Deceit and Dirthamen share an uneasy look, while Fear still looks entirely skeptical about the whole thing. But no one pushes any harder, and Selene excuses herself to finish packing and get some sleep before her early morning flight.
She does promise Fear to at least keep her phone charged and GPS on, and doesn't bother asking where they found the six portable chargers.
–
The flight is long, and delayed from the start. Heavy storms keep her sitting in the terminal and waiting for her boarding, and it is late afternoon before she finally steps foot in Verchiel. The ground is still damp from recent rain, and she changes out of her flats and into her boots for the trip.
It takes her two and a half days to make the journey, in the end. Made shorter, she admits, by exchanging group texts with the others as she goes. Sending pictures of scenery, and herself near rare plants to assure Fear that she is still in good condition and not mauled by bears or wyverns or wandering wildlife.
It doesn't take her long to find the space where her Mamae had been laid to rest. She clears away a pile of fallen leaves with the gloves she had packed, and performs the rites before the nearest statue of Fen'harel, praying to the gods she walked away from to protect the mother who never lost her faith.
Once she's completed them, Selene notices several newer graves. Some are from other clans, of course. But two are not.
One, freshly planted near to her mother. Her uncle, she realizes.
And another, placed at the top of a mound.
Keeper Deshanna.
Selene hesitates.
And then calls Des.
“Hellooooo?” he sings.
“I'm going to be a few extra days.”
Des sighs, and she can practically hear him tugging on the ends of his hair through the phone. “Why?”
“I need to visit Alaris.”
“Did he leave the clan?”
“No.”
Des lets out a long groan and a quiet string of curses. “You can't go back alone.”
“You're going to join me then?”
“Fuck no! I left for a reason. So did you. Alaris has gone this long without us, he'll be fine.”
“Keeper Deshanna passed,” Selene breathes. “So did his papae.”
Des is silent, as a heavy moment passes between them.
“I don't feel any loss for Deshanna,” he admits “But I will admit Alaris deserves better than to think he's alone. Or worse, left with just your father for family.”
“Thank you.”
“I'll let the others know you're going to be gone for more than a week. But if Dirthamen decides to fly us out on a private jet or something to come get you, I'm not gonna get in the way!”
“Thank you.” She repeats.
Des murmurs something under his breath before clicking the line closed, and Selene takes a final stock of Var Bellanaris.
And then begins her journey back to Clan Lavellan.
–
As it happens, she comes across the hunting party first, three days later. One of them recognizes her, and when she asks to see Alaris, they bring her along with only mild complaining.
The campsite has changed less than she thought it would. There are more Halla than there used to be, but she supposes that's to be expected as a side effect of breeding. Some of the crops have changed, soil rotated, and a few more aravels are scattered around the campsite.
“Sulvuna!” She finally hears, before two arms wrap around her from behind, nearly tackling her to the ground in their exuberance.
“Alaris!” she returns, flinching only internally at her old name “It's good to see you again.”
“You too!” he exclaims. “What brings you here? Not that I'm complaining, you're always welcome of course, but I wasn't...We haven't heard from you in almost...what, eight years now?”
“Something like that,” She agrees sheepishly “I wasn't planning on coming back, honestly.”
“So why are you?”
“I went to visit Mamae in Var Bellanaris and I saw Keeper and your Papae.”
Alaris nods in understanding, weight shifting until his is leaning on his staff. And suddenly Selene can see it; the weight on him, of being First for so long and Keeper now. Of losing his Aunt, and his cousin, and his first love, and finally his father.
It's a weight she feels in her own chest, formed of guilt she thought she had shed long ago. Back now with a vengeance.
He motions for her to follow into his own aravel, and quietly brews her a cup of tea while they exchange small talk. What the clan has been up to, how Alaris has been faring.
“How's Era'harel?” Alaris finally asks, fingers slightly shaky around his cup as he sits.
“He's doing well,” Selene evades “But he changed his name.”
Alaris nods “Good. That's...” He sighs. “Will you send him my apologies?”
Selene blinks, and slowly agrees before Alaris continues.
“I didn't know....I mean, I was just a kid. It's not an excuse, I know, but I didn't think anything of his name then. I didn't realize what we were really calling him. Please, let him know I'm so sorry for the way he was treated when he was with Clan Lavellan. If he...if he ever wants to visit, or come back, I will ensure he is treated with respect, as he deserves.”
“I will,” she agrees again.
“...Is he seeing anyone?” Alaris mumbles into the edge of his cup.
Selene shifts awkwardly. “Uh....yeah.”
“Oh. Well...I hope they're treating him well.”
“We try.” Selene admits with a slight tilt of her head.
Alaris's eyebrows raise, as her words dawn on him.
“Oh. Oh! I didn't-I wasn't trying to-”
“It's fine, it's fine,” She laughs “We're together but we're not-I mean we're seeing other people. Together. So I guess we are together, but it's not just us. We'd drive each other nuts without a buffer.”
“So you made your own clan.” Alaris grins.
“Oh, don't say that,” Selene groans “I have a hard enough time not running away in terror some days, I don't need that hanging over me.”
“Are they people you should fear?” Alaris asks with more than a touch of concern.
“No, no. They're wonderful, and I love them all deeply. They would never hurt me. I just have a hard time with commitment and remembering things are more than temporary sometimes.”
“Shocking,” Alaris teases. “Is that why you left Haleir then?”
Selene freezes.
“I...” she swallows. “Is he still around?”
“He's in town right now, but he's due back in the morning if you'd like to stick around and say hello.”
“No.” she practically yells, abruptly pushing her seat out from the table. “I...he never told you?”
“He doesn't really talk about it,” Alaris says slowly “He says he just woke up, and the two of you had left.”
“Elrogathe never told you?”
“...told me what, Sulvuna?”
She's shaking, now. She knows she is, no matter that she's trying not to. She shouldn't have come alone. Stupid, stupid.
“It's..he...” She takes a deep breath, grounds herself. Steadies herself. “It's not important,” she lies. “I think I'd rather be gone before he comes back though.”
Alaris quietly agrees without pushing the subject, and switches topics back to happier things. They exchange stories about Deshanna, and his father, and eventually it loops back to Selene's significant others.
“Here, hold on,” Selene says as she fishes her cell phone out of her pocket “I've got pictures.”
Alaris eagerly watches her flip through the photos on her phone. Some candid, some not. A few taken at concerts, of Dirthamen, Deceit, and Fear performing.
“Are they any good?” he asks.
“I think so,” Selene smiles. “I've got a few songs of theirs on here if you want to hear.”
She plays a few of her favorites for her cousin, and he asks her to send him some copies. It's then she finds out that someone posted a cell tower just outside the clans territory, so Alaris ended up with one himself.
“They're very useful,” he points out. “We still communicate with most other clans the way we always have, of course, but being able to get immediate contact has helped us greatly.”
“You sound like a Keeper.” she teases.
“I sure try to!” He laughs.
The sun starts to set, and Selene announces that she should head out, to avoid being here in the morning.
Alaris pleads with her to stay, just for the one night.
She's always had trouble saying no to him.
She calls up Des, while Alaris retrieves her old hammock from her fathers aravel (Because she adamantly refused to sleep in there again).
“Still hanging in there?” He greets.
“It's not so terrible. Alaris is Keeper now.”
“Shame. He seemed so nice when he was younger.” Des pines.
She rolls her eyes “He asked me to stay in the clan overnight, so I'll start making my way back to the airport in the morning. Should just be another couple of days.”
“Where would you have been staying otherwise?” Comes Fears voice from over the line.
Selene blinks. “Am I on speaker phone?”
“We miss you.” Calls Deceit.
“I miss you all too. I'll be home soon.” She relents.
“You didn't answer my question.” Comes Fear again.
“Clearly, I was sharing a cave space with giant spiders,” Selene teases “But before that I just took shelter in a Dragon's nest.”
“Careful, they might believe you.” Des warns.
Selene doesn't mention that she really did spend one of her nights in a cave, to escape the rain. She didn't see any giant spiders, anyways.
“Can I talk to just Des for a minute?” She asks. She waits through the awkward shuffling of the phone being moved to an ear and the click that the speakers have been turned off.
“What's wrong?” he asks, suddenly serious.
“Nothing, really. I just. I thought you should know Haleir was still...around.”
“Did he do something?”
She can hear someone moving around behind him, followed by the sound of Des taking several steps away from whoever it was.
“No,” she assures him “He's out. He comes back in the morning though.”
“You need to be gone before he shows up.”
“I know.”
“...I should have gone with you.”
“No, Des. I'll be ok. I just thought you should know.”
“If he comes within arms reach of you, light the bastard up.”
“Will do,” Selene agrees, glancing up as Alaris steps back into the aravel. “I have to go. Love you, tell the others I love them as well.”
“No, I'm keeping your love all to myself. You can tell them yourself when you get back.”
Selene laughs, and hangs up with one last goodbye before standing to assist Alaris in getting both of their hammocks set up.
“Who was that?” he asks.
“That was Des.” Selene says before she can catch herself.
“Which one is that?”
“Ah, that's what Era goes by now.”
“Oh.” Alaris says. “Des,” he says as though testing the feel of it on his tongue. He nods, seemingly satisfied “It suits him.”
Selene nods “I think so too.”
–
Alaris wakes Selene in the morning, when the sun is just beginning to rise. It's too early, she thinks. But better this than to run into Haleir again. Alaris still takes the time to braid her hair into a long ponytail while she sips at a cup of tea. He brings her a pack as well, filled with rolls and jerky and a bit of halla cheese. In the bottom are two sets of robes; hers, and Des's.
“You kept these?” She asks, holding up the old fabrics, fingers trailing over patterns she hasn't seen in nearly a decade.
“Your father did.” Alaris informs her.
She gives him a skeptical look, but he just nods and indicates towards Elrogathes aravel with his head.
“No.” she says before he can verbally ask her.
“Just say hello-”
“No.” she repeats.
“You'll regret it if you don't.”
“I doubt that.”
“Look,” Alaris pushes “I'd give anything to be able to have another conversation with my Papae. Even if we didn't always get along, we loved each other deeply.”
“See, that's where we differ.”
“Sulvuna,” he emphasizes. “Go say hello to your father or I swear to Elgar'nan I will give him your cell phone number.”
“...He has a cell phone?”
“Well...no. But I do, and I will force him to use it!”
Selene lets out a groan, and finally relents under threat of being forced to have regular contact with him.
She knocks three times on the outside of his aravel.
He lifts the flap, and turns to look at her.
Freezes.
And then drops the curtain and walks silently back inside.
Selene turns to Alaris, who is still watching the interaction and makes a 'See???' motion towards the space her father just exited. But he just makes a shooing motion and mouths to her to go inside.
She shakes her head no, but Alaris pulls his cell phone out, hitting the home button to light up the screen threateningly.
She groans again, louder this time, and mopes her way up the stairs and into her old home.
Elrogathe is working away at his desk on tonics and potions, and for a moment she feels like she never left. Like she still lives here, and nothing has changed, and the last few years have been some sort of vivid fever dream. Braid still heavy on her head, the smells of elfroot and embrium thick in the air and the halla bleating loudly outside her wooden walls.
“What?” Elrogathe finally says.
Selene blinks herself out of her reverie, and manages “What? Nothing. I-Alaris told me to say hi. So I'm...saying hi.”
Elrogathe nods. “You've been gone a long time.”
“I was planning on being gone a lot longer.” she admits.
“Your callouses are gone.”
“Ah, yeah. I don't-I don't really work with my hands as much.”
“You've gotten lazy.”
Selene lets out a breath of air. “I just do a different sort of work.”
“What?”
“I...” Selene hesitates. She doesn't, technically, have a job. “I work with numbers a lot. And I write.”
“Stories?”
“Instructions and informative textbooks, mostly.”
Elrogathe just gives a soft 'harrumph' at that.
“...children?” he asks quietly.
“No.”
He nods. “Good.”
“...'good'?”
“Motherhood would be a poor fit for you.”
Selenes shoulders tense “I would be a great parent. Better than you were, by any means.”
He snorts.
Actually snorts.
“You can not walk away from a child when they frustrate you, or expect someone else to clean up their mess.”
“No, you just ignored them unless you had some insult to make or instruction to give.”
“Your mother was the warm one in the family. If you wanted affection, you should have sought her out instead.”
“I did. And then when she was gone, you shut me out entirely.”
Elrogathe slows in his work. His eyes carefully raise to look at his daughter. “Dhaveira passed because her heart was soft. She burned like the sun, and when she left there was nothing to sustain us. That was not my fault.”
“So now it's Mamaes fault that you turned into a cold bastard?” Selene snaps “You think Mamae would have insisted I bond to a rapist? Or stay trapped in a life that I hated?”
“She would have insisted you survive!” he yells back, standing suddenly “Not run away to live some half-life like a flat ear! Running around with your guns and drugs and forsaking everything the creators left to us! You had a responsibility, Sulvuna, and you ran away from it! The day you left this camp, you died!”
“And I see you mourned that loss the way you mourned everything else; silently, and without any real emotion.”
The slap he lands is hard enough it makes stars blink in her eyes.
Her hearing goes for a moment, all sounds replaced with a sharp ringing in her ears as she stares down at the floor. She looks back up at him, her eyes meet his, and another slap follows the first, this one hard enough to knock her to the ground.
“Get out of my home,” he says lowly, returning to his work bench. “If I see you again, I will notch an arrow and Andruil as my guide, I will not miss.”
Selene hesitates. Then stands, brushing the dirt and dust from the floor off of her clothing, and strides out of the aravel.
Her face still stings, and Alaris's jaw goes slack as she approaches him again.
“Did he-Sulvuna, did he strike you?”
“Thank you for having me, Alaris,” She says softly, ignoring his question. “I think it's time for me to head back home.”
Alaris doesn't stop her this time. Just hands her back her things, and escorts her out of camp.
It takes only a day and a half to make it to the airport, with Selene barely stopping as she tries to escape the memories of clan life.
She shouldn't have gone alone. She shouldn't have gone back.
Stupid, she berates herself.
She sends her flight information back to the group text once she's purchased her ticket. It's a late night take off, but it's the closest one available.
She sleeps for most of the flight, dozing in and out as plains and mountains pass by beneath her feet.
She still feels exhausted, when she finally steps out, and back into what has become her hometown and silently prays the buses are still running.
Not that it matters, it turns out.
Dirthamen, Deceit, Fear, and Des are all standing near the baggage claim, Des practically jumping up and down with a large, hand scrawled sign that reads “SELENE” on it.
She laughs, and feels a weight fall off of her shoulders when she spies them. Something warm and welcoming settles in the pit of her stomach, and for the first time in two days she doesn't feel a sting on her cheek.
“Welcome home!” Yells Deceit across the airport, before Fear gently nudges their arm for drawing attention from strangers. Deceit just shrugs it off as Selene skips towards the group.
“Thank you,” She smiles “I missed you all. So much.”
“We missed you as well,” Dirthamen agrees, reaching over to place a kiss to her lips. Soft at first, before becoming more pressing, more urgent as she responds positively to his advances.
Fear clears their throat pointedly, and Dirthamen finally pulls back. The tips of his ears red.
“We can go home now, right?” Des asks, linking his arm through hers.
“I have to get a bag, actually.”
He frowns. “Did you leave with two?”
“No, Alaris sent one back.”
Des groans, until Selene points out that he packed some foods for them.
“Our old robes are in there, too.”
Des makes a face.
“You don't have to wear them,” Selene sighs “But it would mean a lot to Alaris if you just held onto them. He wanted you to have them.”
Des relents at that, as they snag up her bag and pile into Deceits car, Selene pressed into the backseat between Dirthamen and Des.
Dirthamen links his fingers with hers, thumb idly rubbing at the back of her hand as they drive, and Fear asks a litany of questions about her trip, insisting that she shower when they arrive back to the house. Selene doesn't argue, and is thankful for it as she watches the dirt run down the drain, her braid coming undone as she washes out her hair.
She slips into a pair of sleep shorts, and one of Deceits old shirts before heading back downstairs. There's a late night dinner prepared, followed up by a group cuddle session.
Selene sighs, relaxing into the embrace of her lovers as an old sci fi movie plays over the TV.
She falls asleep there, never more thankful to have finally found a home of her own.
Okay but what did Unwilling Moon Goddess Selene even DO to warrant being put up there? Did she set someone/something important on fire bc they pissed her off? Did she kill Falon'Dick in a fit of righteous fury and make Mythal (who was some kind of powerful shaman figure maybe) force her into 'atonement'? Did she explode something so powerfully that it affected the tilt of the planet and now she's gotta be in charge of keeping that on track forever? Like what'd she do??
Origins
Moon Goddess AU
Ana belongs to @lycheemilkart
TW For Violence, Death,Alcohol use, Abuse
The Moon was not always a helpful entity.
The Moon God had been a proud creature, thankful for his privacy and distance from the people. More than happy to stay up in the sky, far away from everything and everyone else. He kept his knowledge, his secrets to health to himself, where they could not be misused by those who were unworthy of it.
Until one day, he looked upon the earth and saw a flower of the sun.
She was so tall, petals a stunning shade of golden yellow, stretching towards the skies. Bright and open and warm throughout the day, laughing and reaching towards the sunlight.But when he looked upon her at night, she shied away, closing up as she drooped until the Sun God returned to the skies in the mornings.
Still, he found himself distracted with thoughts of the flower throughout his days. Stealing glances towards the earth more often than he should be, moon lingering in the skies after the sun had risen.After too long of this, the Sun God approached the Moon God.
“Why do you linger so long in our skies?” he asked “You used to savor your time alone, hoarding as much of my stolen light as you could for yourself. Why now do you bask in it?”
“I have become taken with one of your flowers,” The Moon God admitted with a heavy sigh. “But she shies away from me. I know not what I can do. I do not wish to impose myself upon her.”
“So give her what she needs,” The Sun God offers “Do not coerce her. Show her that you can provide for her, show her how you feel, so that she may determine if she feels the same.”
“How?”
“You control the tides. The pull of water. My summers are harsh, and flowers often wilt beneath my heat. Provide her with additional water. Nourish her soil, ensure her roots do not rot and that she may flourish. Show her we are not such total opposites,” The Sun grins.
And so the moon does. Night after night, he cares for her as best he can from a distance. Nudges away predators who would feast on her leaves, shelters her from storms that would otherwise wash her away. Until the summer must come to an end, and he appears before her on the final night.
“Come with me,” he offers her. “The cold will come soon, and you will be taken away. I will keep you healthy, I will keep you safe, I will keep you happy.”
The Flower, having known the softer side of the moon for the whole of the season already, agrees.
When he touches her, her petals turn pale, roots stretch to limbs until she is knelt before him. The Moon God carried his flower back to his kingdom, where they lived happily for centuries.
And then the flower bore his child.
A young girl, hair pale as the moonlight and eyes as green as the earth that bore her mother, came into being.
She was smart, and bright, and kind. And as she grew, her father taught her all he knew. How to heal the sick and save the dying, how to pull at the tides and the necessity of their existence.
But she gained her mothers kindness and love of the earth, as well.
“Why do we not share our knowledge?” She asked her father.
“It is too freely abused,” he explained “Their lives are too short, and words too easily misinterpreted. People are not to be trusted with it.”
“But their lives could be longer if they knew what we did. Better. The people could flourish, even.”
“Their lives are not our concern. The People are not our domain. We are responsible for greater things.”
Selene was not convinced.
As she grew, so did her curiosity. Her desire to explore the earth, to learn about the people, to help them, the way her father had helped her mother. And so, the Sun God approached her.
“Little moonbeam,” he cooed “I see what you desire. Locked away up here as you are, so far away, so restricted by your fathers fears. I could help you, if you would only do the same in return.”
“I have nothing to give. I am not a god, yet. Only an apprentice.”
“But one day you will be. You will inherit your fathers abilities, and then we will be partners. One day, I will ask of you a favor. You will grant it to me, without restrictions and to the best of your abilities.”
Selene hesitates.
“And in return,” He continues “I will take you to Earth with me. Summer is starting, and my festival will begin. A grand celebration, that I invite you to share in.”
“My father would never agree to that.”
“I have known your father far longer than you have. I will handle him. You only need hold up your end of the bargain.”
Selene swallows.And agrees.
–
Summer begins, and Selene travels down with the Sun God in his chariot to visit the people.The Earth is so bright and full of variety and color and life, it takes her breath away.
She falls in love with it instantly, getting swept up in the celebrations. She dances for a week, and drinks while perched in the lap of the laughing Sun God, joining in with the people and learning as many of their ways as she can.It is warm here, so much warmer than her frozen, lonely home.
She meets several other gods at the event. Goddess of the Earth, who shows her how plants grow in the soil and sprout beneath her feet. The necessity of a life cycle, of rebirth and reuse and the connection of all things that come from the Earth. She meets the God of Invention, who shows her science and math and innovations. The way the people manipulate and alter their environment to make their lives better, to make better use of all that time robs the mortals of. Of the necessity of moving forward. Goddess of Stone, who can not even use magic but is not hindered in any way by it. Who shows her secret, sacred places, where magic can be grown, where it flows like water beneath the earths crust in stunning shades of blue and white.
And for the first time, Selene gets to see a blue sky.
She does not remember taking flight, but she remembers flying. Her wings sprout from her back, and she is off. Soaking in the rays of the sun as she glides over the ocean, over the water she has manipulated for so long from so far away, and she sees that even it contains life, here. She befriends the birds as they fly alongside her, and tell her stories of all the places they have traveled. Watches the fish travel in packs, marvels at the whales as they breathe the air and return to water
She returns to Des’s side breathless.
“Enjoying your time?” he laughs.
“It’s incredible! You get to do this all the time?”
“Every day.”
“I think I will too.”
Des blinks “You will, what?”
“When I am a Goddess, I will visit the people each night. My father may value his privacy, but I do not. I like it here, I love these people, and I do not wish to live in solitude any longer.”
“You know,” Des grins “I think we’re going to be marvelous partners.”
The Festival lasts an entire month, as it turns out. An entire cycle away from home, and though she expects to miss it, she finds it actually….freeing, to be on Earth.She does not want to leave, when the festival ends.Even Des seems reluctant to give her back to her fathers care.
But she has responsibilities to maintain, balances to keep and spells to learn. She adds what she has learned to her repertoire. She sings her spells, dances through rituals, creates within craters and learns to breed plants that will survive in their soil. She visits the earth each night with her mother, using her skills to help those she can.
Her father is not happy with the changes.
“We must be steady,” He warns her. “Do not deviate from our traditions.”
“How do you know?” She challenges “How do you know that we must do things the way we do? That we could never have anything more, never have anything better than this?”
“Because this is the way it has always been.”
“But we can change it. The Earth is constantly changing, constantly growing. Why not us? Why must we stay so far away?”
“It is the way of things. It is to maintain the necessary balance of things. We do not change.”
“You changed,” She argues “You changed for mother. Who is from Earth. The people are not bad, they are not lesser, somehow, just because death visits them. The only thing keeping us locked away up here is you! You and your obsession with being alone!”
“That is Enough!” He bellows, and the skies above her flicker with electricity, ground shaking as lightning strikes at the frozen ground beneath her feet. “I am still your father, I am still your teacher, I am still your God, and you will Obey Me!” he yells, voice echoing. A bolt of lightning shoots towards her face, striking her down with enough force that it creates a new crater just outside the palace steps.
Selene runs, as soon as she can stand.
She runs all the way to the earth, hiding from her fathers sight within the temple of the Sun. Waits silently, containing herself until the sun rises and Des approaches her.
“What happened?” he whispers, fingers brushing over the fractal scars left by her fathers violence.
“I pushed him too far,” she mumbles. “It was my fault.”
“No,” Des asserts. “This was his mistake. There is no excuse for striking your child.”
Selene just wraps her arms around herself while Des leans back “Perhaps we have left him alone and unchecked for too long,” he muses. “I thought your mother would mellow him out, but it seems like she’s only enabled him in her complacency.”
“I…”Selene swallows “I don’t know what to do from here.”
“Wait for now,” he instructs. “I’ll bring the others together here, and we will discuss how to move forward as a Pantheon, as we always have.”
So Selene waits, while he gathers the others. The Earth Goddess appears first, then the Goddess of the Stone, The God of Invention, and the Goddess of Chaos, and finally Des returns himself.
“This is all you gathered?” Carina, Goddess of Stone questions.
“This is all we need,” Des insists. “Selene, tell us what happened.”
She shares her story, even as they stare at the scar on her face and listen to the storm bellow through the night outside, even now.
In the end, it is decided that it is time for Elrogathe to step down from his position as God of the Moon. Selene helps them travel to her home, with every intention of solving things peacefully.
But when she arrives, she does not find her father.
Only a monster in his stead, standing over her mothers corpse.
“Flowers were not meant to live forever,” it growls.
Selene moves first, while Des notches and shoots an arrow, blowing just past her to strike the creature in the chest as he lets out a bellowing roar.
The battle lasts the entirety of the night, and they are all exhausted by the end of it.
“Traitor,” Growls her father as he bleeds out beneath her, pinned down beneath Carina’s stone, pulsing with energy. “You spoiled, selfish child. You do not understand anything.”
“You killed mother,” She snaps back between heavy breaths as her own blood spills out of her “You don’t get to lecture me anymore.”
Elrogathe bellows again, straining against the rock above him as his fury echoes around them. Selene sighs, weary and exhausted as she stares at the remains of him. Not that she has ever known him to be warm or loving herself, but he was still her father. She has still spent centuries in his company, and there is still something in her that regrets what she has to do.
But still, she will do it.
Selene begins to sing.
The ground beneath her father curls away, carves itself into geometric patterns, plates shifting like a puzzle box, as he is pulled further and further below the surface.
He screams as she casts the ritual to lock him away, curses her and their land. Promises that nothing she has created will grow, that she will spend the rest of her days alone, dooms her to solitude and imprisonment that lasts as long as his own, and uses the last of his mana to turn his words to power, spreading out over both her and both moons.
Des looks at her with regret when she collapses against him, exhausted and spent.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“It had to be done,” she mutters.
He shakes his head “You don’t understand. He’s tied you here.”
“I’ve always been tied to the moon,” She argues.
“No, you were only connected to it,” Ana, the Earth Goddess explains “You had the freedom to travel wherever you liked, for as long as you wanted. This was simply your domain. Now…”
Selenes eyes widen as realization hits her “…I can’t leave?”
“I’m so sorry, Selene,” She nods.
Shock courses through Selenes system while Des carefully lowers her to the ground. “I can’t…I can’t ever leave?”
“Or bring anyone here,” Des sighs. “Your dad was a dick. I should have interfered sooner.”
Selene doesn’t move from that space as reality washes over her, and the other Gods return to Earth to rest and recover and take care of their own responsibilities.
Alone. She’s going to be alone, forever.With her father trapped beneath her.
What has she done?–
Des returns later that night, to remind Selene to raise the moons. She does, but only barely. A waning crescent at the wrong point in the cycle. It is all she can manage, in her current state.
“Congratulations on becoming a Goddess,” he jokes, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
Selene just looks at him blankly, still tired but too stressed to sleep.
“Look,” he sighs “I know this sucks. Patricide is a pretty awful way to ascend. But now you can make the changes you wanted.”
“I can’t change anything. I can’t even reach the people, let alone aide or share anything with them.”
“I talked with The Earth Goddess, actually. We might be able to help with that.”
“You can let me travel freely to Earth?”
“Well, no. But on the Full Moon, with a combination of being fully visible to her, and since you’ll already be reflecting the maximum amount of power and light from me, we think we might be able to…project you there. You’ll be able to interact with people and things. Talk, share knowledge, teach them what you can.”
Selene swallows, turning to stare at the Earth, watching the clouds swirl over the blue and green sphere, so far away.
But this is a better offer than she dared hope for, anyways.
“Thank you.”
Des shrugs “Helping you helps me too. It means you’ll be better off to help me, when I ask you for that favor.”
“I’ll do whatever I can,” She nods in agreement.
“Rest, tomorrow,” He suggests. “You’ll find Godhood is not so easy as I make it look.”
Selene stands, finally, gazing out over the wreckage of her parents palace.“I will do my best,” she vows.
Some Mahanon Lavellan headcanons I wrote a few days ago:
(This is for my Inquisitor! Yours can be completely different!)
Mahanon wanted nothing more than to be proposed to by Dorian. In fact, he expected it during Trespasser when they all gathered in Val Royeaux. Imagine his surprise when he learned Dorian was leaving for Tevinter and would not be returning anytime soon.
Elrogathe and Mahanon always liked to have little competitions from time to time. While Elrogathe was strong with swords and could barrel through trees, Mahanon was swift and hard to catch. But it would end in a tie.
At one point, Mahanon had a small crush on Elrogathe but it quietly faded as they remained friends. After realizing his sexuality, Mahanon never pursued in his clan. Instead, he would submit himself to his studies as the Keeper's First and any affection he felt, he kept to himself. It was only once he met Dorian, someone he could openly flirt with, did he begin to unwind.
After the events of Tresspasser, the first thing on Mahanon’s mind is checking the well being of his clan. He will insist he go visit them. He doesn’t bring anyone along.
You only get stories out of him if you give one yourself. He loves to hear about people's lives but isnt too keen on sharing his own. So, you have to give him something in return.
He endlessly goes over the events of Ameridan. His story deeply disturbed him. It came to the point that he made sure Josephine included details of his race in every text and letter that included his name. He would not be known as a human; he would be known as Mahanon Lavellan. The Dalish elf who reunited Thedas.
When visiting the Emerald Graves, he actually broke off from the group to go exploring. This little adventure was a bit depressing however, from the graves of all the fallen Dalish warriors and finding journal entries of those who perished.
He loves to trace his hands over Dorian when they cuddle. He records every line, every shape, and the touch of his skin secretly so that if they should ever part, he'll remember.
During his days of living at Clan Lavellan, Mahanon's nose was always buried in a book about magic. He needed to learn as the Keeper's First so that one day, he will lead the clan and protect them.
Kore actually kissed Mahanon once. It was at night when the two of them were guarding a forest opening, keeping out for wolves. They had discussed what the future held for the both of them and Kore confessed she had strong feelings for him. But Mahanon smiled, brushed her hair back with his thumb, and declined her advances.
Mahanon didn't know he was gay until one day someone asked if he were to bond with anyone. He said he had no interest in any of the women here. The clan member had laughed and said "Maybe you dont like women." He agreed.
His favorite stories growing up were the ones of the twins: Dirthamen and Falon’Din. He would insist his parents retell him the stories every night before he fell asleep. He keeps those memories close.
His mother died from contracting the werewolf disease during the Fifth Blight. His father, Mineras Lavellan, fell into a pit of grief; one that was hard to climb out of. Mahanon swore that he would never leave his father side until the days of mourning past. He was 24 during the time of the Fifth Blight.
He has three younger siblings; two boys and a girl. He spoiled them rotten.
Continuing from @justanartsysideblog ‘s Boutiques and Babies
TW for bad parenting
The walk home from school is silent. Her mother loosely holding Selenes hand while her father fumes a few steps in front of them.
Dhaveira tells Selene to go sit in the Chair when they finally arrive back in their apartment. Selene doesn't even pout, too tired and in too much trouble already as she climbs into the overstuffed olive green seat and waits for her parents to decide they are ready to listen to her.
She dozes off, realizing only when she startles awake from her mother shaking her shoulder that an hour has passed. Selene rubs at her eye and apologizes for falling asleep, while Elrogathe crosses his arms and looks down at her disapprovingly.
Dhaveira quietly asks Selene what happened.
She explains the puppy, and the fire, and being caught by Aelynthi. How she panicked and ran and ended up being found by the person with the pretty earrings and going back to the school.
Elrogathe tsks.
“I knew this would happen. We should never have let her go to that school.”
“She has to go to school, vhenan,” Dhaveira reminds him gently, turning away from Selene.
“We had to shut down for half a day! What if someone had been injured, hm? Needed our attentions, and we were not there because the child had an outburst?” Elrogathe turns his gaze to Selene “What would you have done if someone had died because we had to pick you up instead of being there to help them? Would you apologize to their next of kin? 'Sorry your loved one is dead, but I saw a puppy'.”
Dhaveira sighs and takes one of Elrogathes hands, squeezing it in a reassuring manner. “You are exaggerating. No one died, everyone is alright.”
“I'm sorry, Papae,” Selene whispers, sniffling while looking pointedly at the tile flooring. She wasn't trying to hurt anyone. “It was an accident...”
“Do not let it happen again,” he commands “Now go get washed up, run your practices, and go to bed. You will be up early tomorrow to join us in the shop. Perhaps you will manage to learn something useful.”
“Yes Papae,” Selene mumbles, sliding out of the chair and towards their bathroom. After her shower, Selene practices her magic alone in her room until her vision gets blurry around the edges and she crawls into bed. She doesn't dream, just remembers laying down and then waking up to her mother gently shaking her shoulder.
“It is time to get up, da'len,” she smiles.
Selene groans, and rolls out of her blankets. Dhaveira dresses her in a white shirt and some black pants and ushers her into the living room where Elrogathe is already strapping on his foot wraps. There is a loud rumbling noise, and Selene blinks as she realizes it is her stomach. Makes sense, she supposes. She ran out of class before lunchtime, and went to bed without dinner.
“Mamae, I'm hungry,” she pleads. Dhaveira turns to Elrogathe who tsks and tells Selene she may grab something from the kitchen, but she must be quick about. Selene dashes off, taking stock as quickly as she can.
“Da'len, we need to leave,” Dhaveira calls. Selene panics, and clambers onto the counters, opening one of the cabinet doors and snagging the peanut butter jar and a spoon from the drawer.
“COMIN' !” she yells back, hopping down and running back to the living room.
Dhaveira takes the peanut butter and spoon from Selene and places them carefully into her purse, informing her daughter that she can have them once they are at the shop.
Selene watches the sway of the bag with each step they take down the sidewalk, stomach still quietly rumbling away as her father unlocks the back door of their small shop.
Her mother drops the bag down on a table in the back room, moving quickly to attend to her plants while Elrogathe immediately heads towards his medicinal stores and works on his inventory. Selene dithers near the door frame, wavering between taking the jar and spoon out of her mothers purse herself or waiting for her to finish her work and remember it's in there.
“Mamae?” Selene peeks over the half door separating the backroom from the store front, balancing on her tip toes “Can I have the peanut butter now?”
“Yes, da'len,” Dhaveira calls, carefully pruning one of her flora “Let me know when you're finished though.”
“Kay!” Selene smiles, eagerly darting back and taking both items from her mothers purse. She plops down on the floor and unscrews the lid before being met with disappointment.
The jar is practically empty, just remnants still coating the sides.
With a sigh, Selene begins scraping the peanut butter off the plastic sides and spooning it into her mouth. It's certainly better than nothing, and the proteins should keep her running until lunch, at least. Once the jar is sufficiently emptied, Selene washes her hands and the spoon off in the drop sink. Carefully, she moves into the storefront where her mother is finishing checking off her flower feeding schedule.
“I'm all done, Mamae.”
Dhaveira jumps slightly, and Selene realizes with a frown that she had forgotten Selene was even here, but turns to look at her daughter with a smile all the same. “Very good da'len. Let's go get you a uniform, hm?”
Selene nods and follows Dhaveira to the register where there are a few folded up aprons with the shop name embroidered on the chest, tucked beneath the counter. 'Efflorescent Elixirs'. Not particularly flashy, but accurate.
The apron however, is far too large, and drags on the floor beneath Selenes five year old body. Dhaveira frowns and calls Elrogathe in. He stares at Selene for a moment before disappearing and reappearing with a handful of safety pins. Carefully, he folds up the bottom, over and over until it is short enough to stop at Selene's knees. He pins and repins the fabric until he is satisfied it won't be falling apart on its own, then dismisses himself to go back to his work.
“There you are, da'len,” Dhaveira smiles with a pat on her head “Isn't that better?”
“It's heavy,” Selene frowns, staring down at the weight and recalculating her balance when she tries to move.
“You'll get used to it. Now, why don't you go flip the sign to open for me, ok?”
“Yes, Mamae,” Selene obeys, flipping the sign and unlocking the front door.
A few people trickle in and out, one or two commenting on Selenes presence. Dhaveira smiles and waves off their concerns saying that there is a 'new program at her school' that allows the children to shadow their parents at work. Selene frowns, but doesn't point out that her Mamae is lying; it would just lead to more trouble.
No one at all shows up in the afternoon, and Selene presses her face up against the front window in boredom and wonders what's happening at school. Is Aelynthi still mad? Did Ms. Subtlety let him make a new picture?
Did anyone notice she didn't show up today?
“Selene, get away from the window,” Elrogathe orders.
She sighs and moves into the back room, muttering “Yes, Papae.”
Elrogathe eyes Selenes slumped over posture on the floor for a few moments, and scoots a chair over to the table.
“You can read, yes?” he asks.
Selene blinks “Yes, Papae. And write.”
Elrogathe nods, and pulls out a few books from his desk and places them on the table, along with a stack of papers and a few pencils.
“These are some basics on what I do. You'll be learning how to do this as well, so you should get started now. Take whatever notes you need, and I will quiz you on what you studied before we go home tonight.”
Selene pouts and slowly lifts the cover of one of the heavy books “I have to read all of this...?”
Elrogathe frowns “I thought you said you enjoyed school. This will simulate those situations for you.”
Selenes face scrunches up. She's not really sure what her Papae thinks they are doing in kindergarten, but she can't really picture him making macaroni pictures or raising his hand to answer questions about colors or reading her story books either, so maybe this is his way of trying to be nice.
“Thank you, Papae. I'll do my best.” she nods. Elrogathe leaves the room, and Selene begins working on her task. The words are thick, and she doesn't understand a lot of them. She ends up having to make up a whole separate paper to write down the words she doesn't know so she can ask about them later. The sun goes down, and her mother closes down the shop but Selene has barely gotten through the first two chapters. Elrogathe isn't pleased with her progress, but they get to have dinner altogether that night which Selene thinks is really nice. Afterwards, he sends her to practice her magic again, until she falls asleep the same way she had the night before.
This pattern continues for about 4 days, Selene following her parents to work and sitting in the backroom trying to read through her Papaes textbooks. She's almost finished with the first one she thinks, when the bell to the shop entrance rings. She doesn't look up though, used to tuning out the customers coming and going to focus on her work, until she hears her Mamae asking someone to leave.
That's weird, Selene thinks.
She glances at her papers and the almost-finished book and wonders who it is that might be making her Mamae so worried she's even called for her Papae. Her curiosity wins out, Selene slipping down and out of her chair to peek over the half door on her tip toes again. The person spots Selene and waves to her, offering a very warm smile.
Selene recognizes them as the person with the pretty earrings, and waves back.
Selene is awoken in the morning by a series of knocks on her door.
One eye peeks open as she switches on her phone to check the time. A series of swears leaves her mouth when she sees it: 6:30am.
She may actually kill whoever is on the other side of that door.
She kicks off her comforter and grumbles her way to the door in Dirthamens shirt and her comfy shorts. Selene swings open the door with an angry “Do you even know what time it-”
She pauses at the intricate deep blue Vallaslin on the face in front of her. A few inches shorter than she is, with long dark hair that is starting to gray in its braid, and pale skin.
Selene takes a moment to make sure she's actually awake.
When the environment doesn't shift at all, she can feel something heavy settle in the pit of her stomach.
Her father is here.
He nods in place of a greeting, and remains in her doorway with his hands resting behind him.
“What-How. Why are you-” she stumbles, still trying to wake up “Elrogathe?”
“Sulvuna,” he greets, eyes darting to look into her apartment behind her before going back to her face.
She sighs.
“Would you...like to come in?”
He nods once more and steps inside. Selene closes the door and bangs her head lightly against it.
Great. Fantastic start to the day, she thinks.
She turns around, and sees him frowning his way around her one room.
“Small,” he comments as he rubs his thumb tenderly over her plants.
“The soil here isn't as good. They're healthy, though. Not as strong as when they were under Mamaes care, obviously, but. There's no discoloration, or root rot, or anything.”
Elrogathe doesn't respond, just keeps drifting around her apartment. Selene snags a pair of jeans, a clean shirt, and a bra out of their drawer and runs off to the bathroom to change, making sure to swap the socks and sneakers for her foot wraps.
When she comes out, Elrogathe is digging through her refrigerator, and scowling at most of it's contents. Selene reaches past him for a pitcher of Ana's fruit-tea blend and pours each of them a glass, then leans against the counter while he sniffs at it skeptically.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the clan? Or literally anywhere else? I thought you were finished dealing with me.”
He shrugs and takes a cautious sip of his drink, before his eyebrows raise and he takes a real swig.
“Alaris,” he answers.
Selene sighs. Of course. Her well-meaning cousin is meddling again.
“You don't have to listen to him you know. He's not actually keeper yet, and he's your nephew besides.”
“Soon.”
“Is Deshanna sick?”
He shakes his head “Old.”
“Oh. Right.” she washes and rinses out the both of their cups while Elrogathe continues his impromptu inspection of her studio.
She finds him making faces while he thumbs through her history notes.
“Wrong.” he states without looking up.
It is too early to have a fight about what gets written in history textbooks versus the history they learn in the clans, she thinks. “Do you want to go get some breakfast? I have classes in a few hours, and work after.”
“No.”
Her lips thin.
“Ok...what would you like to do then? I didn't exactly plan an itinerary.”
He looks out the window, then back to her with a slight twitch of his eyebrow.
“You want a tour?” she asks.
He nods.
Right. Of course he does.
She should have stayed in bed.
--
She walks Elrogathe around the campus, pointing out the buildings and their various uses. He insists on seeing the greenhouse when they pass it.
Selene apologizes profusely to the students who were tending their plots when her father starts taking clippings of their plants.
“You can't just take things. This isn't a clan. Those aren't communal plants.” she explains after they leave, shoving a water bottle from a vending machine into his chest.
He just tucks them into his pocket and takes the water from her.
Selene groans and explains to him that she has to go to class now.
He nods.
She hopes that means he is going to go home now.
--
It does not mean he is going home.
Instead he acts like her shadow, and follows along to her classes. He is silent throughout calculus, but when she has to go to History of Circles he is anything but.
She's fairly certain she has never heard him speak more, in fact.
Professor Irving tries several times to get him to stop interrupting by inviting him for a discussion after class is over.
It doesn't work.
When Elrogathe interrupts a lecture on the architecture of the Orlesian circle by pointing out the elvhen influence in design, and the labor used to construct it, he gets thrown out into the hallway.
He did have a point though, she supposes.
She gets a very pointed look from her professor at the end of class. He requests that further guests she brings give proper respect to the classroom setting. She agrees, and gives him a sheepish grin before heading out.
Elrogathe is glancing over some of the bulletin boards and display cases in the hallway.
“Evanuris?” he asks, pointing to a plaque with some inspirational quote from Elgar'nan embedded on it.
“Yeah. They own the school.”
Elrogathe scowls and spits on the ground, then turns to Selene.
“Why?”
She blinks.
“I don't know? They didn't already own a school, so they decided to open one, maybe? I never really-”
“No.” he interrupts, then points to her. “Why?”
Oh.
“I came here because it..” was far away from the clan while still tolerating elvhen mages, she thinks. “...is a prestigious school. They offer what I was looking for, and they treat me well.”
He mulls her answer over a moment while Selene checks her phone.
← Antivan tonight?
From Dirthamen.
That's...probably not a great idea, she thinks.
→ Sorry, have to cancel. Something came up. Study tomorrow instead?
Her eyes dart to the time on her phone screen, and she mentally curses.
“I have to go to work.”
Elrogathe nods.
And follows.
Great.
--
“So that's your dad, huh?” Melanadahl asks, leaning over the counter.
Selene sighs and pushes down on the stapler with more force than is actually necessary.
“Yep.”
Elrogathe disappears into one of the aisles, and Selene lets out a sigh of relief.
“That's gotta suck. Didn't you come here to get away from him?”
“Yep.”
“He's like, crazy Dalish right? Super traditional, never leaves the reservation?”
“Yep.”
“Does he know you're dating Dirthamen Evanuris?”
“Nope.”
She freezes, the turns and glares at Melanadahl “We're not dating.”
He rolls his eyes “Whatever. You could be, if either of you could learn how to hold a real conversation.”
“Says the guy who barely learns peoples names before taking them into bed.”
“Hey, so long as I can say it when one of us leaves in the morning, it's not rude.”
Selene just rolls her eyes.
There is a sudden burst of light, followed by the crackle of thunder from the aisle her father was in.
She groans, and rubs at the bridge of her nose.
Melanadahl blinks, slowly taking the stapler away from her.
“You handle that. I'm working.”
“Yep.” she says with a sigh as she steps around the counter.
Her father looks livid.
There is a scorch mark on the carpet, in front of a very terrified looking human with a Templar symbol on his shirt.
“We need to go now.” Selene advises, as she takes her fathers arm and leads him out of the library.
She gives Melanadahl a nod, and he mockingly salutes after her as they leave.
He still owed her a favor, she supposes.
She drags her father outside to one of the benches and seats him down, standing with her arms crossed.
“What happened?”
“Shemlen.” he growls.
“Oh, so you just blow up humans on sight now?” Selene snaps back at him. “This isn't a reservation site, they can have you arrested for attacking someone like that!”
Elrogathe tsks.
“You can't just show up unannounced and complain about everything! If you're unhappy, leave. Why are you even here?”
“...Alaris.” he answers, quietly.
“You have fulfilled Alaris's quota. You showed up, and said more than 6 words. You can leave now. Tell him we're closer than ever, it'll barely even be a lie!” she yells.
“Selene?”
Her eyes close, and she lets out a breath.
Of course he came to check on her at work when she canceled.
Of course he showed up now.
Of course her father recognizes him.
Doesn't know basic manners here, but recognizes an Evanuris from several feet away.
Selene mentally curses her luck.
Elrogathe stands, eyes narrowed and takes a step towards Dirthamen. His fingers are sparking with bits of electricity.
Selene steps between them in an attempt to diffuse the situation.
“Evanuris.” he sneers.
“Dirthamen, you need to leave.” Selene says as calmly as she can.
Elrogathes head snaps to Selene then. “You know him?”
“Oh, you are capable of forming a full sentence when addressing me.” She grumbles. “He's a friend. Just-”
“He is a monster. <The lot of them are, his whole tainted family tree.>” Elrogathe argues, slipping into elvhen.
“He knows what you're saying,” Selene sighs. “And he's not a monster, you don't even know him.”
“He threw Haleir out of a window!”
“Do you even know why?” Dirthamen retorts.
“Haleir-Haleir tripped and fell out of the window,” she tries to cover “Whatever he told you-”
“He told me you would lie, and try to cover for this monster because he is paying you for sexual favors.”
“He said what.” Selene and Dirthamen say in unison.
Elrogathe steps forward “I was hoping he was lying,” his bolts strike off of Dirthamens barrier, one with each advancement he makes “I had hoped you had done something more with your life than becoming a whore, but it seems you are friendly with the monster after all-”
Selene flings a fireball at Elrogathes feet, stopping him in his tracks.
“If you call him a monster again, I promise my aim will improve.”
Elrogathe freezes and looks at the smoldering grass in front of his feet. His arms fall back down to his side.
“Sulvuna?”
She sighs, relaxing her own arms back down.
“I'm sorry. You have no right to come here and disapprove of my choices, though. I tried your way. I tried it for almost two decades. I am not you. I'm not Mamae. If that means you're done with me, fine. Just be honest about it, because this whole 'only your daughter when its convenient' thing? I can't do it.”
Elrogathe glances between Selene and Dirthamen, and crosses his arms.
“I disapprove.”
“I don't actually care,” Selene shrugs, surprised at the honesty that comes with the statement.
“Haleir.”
“Will survive, I assure you.”
“Perhaps,” she hears Dirthamen mutter behind her.
There is silence then, the tension palpable in the air.
“Will you eat with me, before I leave?” Elrogathe asks.
Selene hesitates, but nods.
Elrogathe looks at Dirthamen.
“And you?”
Selenes eyebrows shoot up, and when Dirthamen looks to her for assistance, all she has to offer is her own confusion.
“If you would like,” he allows.
Elrogathe seems to be satisfied with that answer, and the two of them turn to Selene.
She still thinks she should have just stayed in bed today.
Angst Sunday! (But also sort of a fix it and fluff piece)
tw for mentioned past non-con, bad parenting, and minor mentions of violence
Dirthamen belongs to @feynites
Long Distance Phone Calls
Selene is in the kitchen, stirring the two mugs of hot chocolate when her phone goes off. The screen says 'Alaris' and she answers it without really thinking.
“Hello?”
“Hey! Uh. So. We made it back safely!” Alaris stammers.
“I'm glad to hear it,” Selene responds, tapping the spoon against the rim of the glass to shake off the excess.
“Also, you know that I love you, right?”
Selene hums in affirmation, phone tucked between her ear and shoulder while she rinses off the spoon in her sink.
“Ok, great. Anyways, here's your dad!”
Selene pauses then, back going stick straight as a deeper voice comes over the line
“Sulvuna?”
She debates turning off her phone, or pretending they've been disconnected, or just straight up saying 'nope wrong number', but instead she steels herself.
“Hello, Elrogathe.”
There is silence from his side of the line then, as well. She wonders if this is as awkward for him as it is for her.
“What happened to Haleir?” he finally asks.
“He tripped and fell out of a window,” she replies casually.
“And you didn't catch him?”
She almost snorts at the absurdity of the situation. 'no dad, I didn't catch him because the whole reason he got thrown out was he got caught trying to rape me again by someone who actually gave a shit'.
“I did not.” is all that comes out though.
“You should have looked after him. You have a responsibility as a healer, Sulvuna. He is your patient, and future husband.”
“He's neither, actually. And I'm not a healer anymore, I'm going to school and learning to do something else.”
Elrogathe lets out a sigh, and she can see his expression clearly in her mind despite the distance; disappointed as ever.
“You are wasting yourself there.”
“I'm actually doing very well, thanks for asking,” she rebuttals around the lump in her throat “I've got a scholarship, and they gave me a real job, and I'm very good with numbers-”
“That does not matter.”
Her free hand fists at her side, and she tries to quiet down the part of her mind that is saying he's right, of course he's right, this is just an escape and one day she is going to be dragged back and she will die old and alone in that Aravel as Sulvuna, far away from all of her friends.
She turns to pace around her apartment, and is greeted with the sight of a sheepish looking Dirthamen, holding up his key.
She mouths 'its fine' to him, and points to his purple mug on the counter.
“Sulvuna,” her father continues “It is time to come back and finish your studies. Haleir is injured, and needs your attentions. It is your duty to attend him.”
“I never agreed to that.”
“You were around when he obtained his injuries, correct?”
Selene hesitates before answering “Yes.”
“You were aware they could have been life-threatening?”
She rubs her hand over her forehead, already knowing where this is headed, and desperately not wanting to have this conversation now, with Dirthamen in the room. Not much place else to go in a studio, though.
“Yes,” she concedes.
“And you still did not assist him. That is disappointing, Sulvuna. You know better. Haleir has gone out of his way to assist you in the past, this was neglectful on your part. I raised you better than that.”
“You barely raised me at all,” Selene slips, and she knows it is the wrong thing to say as she hears herself say it. She can see Dirthamens ears tipping up slightly while he pretends not to be listening.
There is silence from the other end of the line, and Selene shifts awkwardly on her feet, debating whether or not she should apologize.
“Your mother would be disappointed in the woman you have become. I was right to disown you. Do not bother returning.”
The call ends, and Selene stands frozen in her spot.
Dirthamen is still standing in the kitchen, and trying not to look at her.
The bright side is, you got what you wanted. You'll never have to go back now, Des pipes in.
Shut up, she responds.
Selene takes a deep breath and forces on a smile as she joins Dirthamen in the kitchen.
“Sorry about that. I had an unexpected phone call.”
He nods politely “It is no trouble. Are you alright?”
“Yeah, just. Clan stuff. It's fine.”
Dirthamen nods again, and hands her the other mug, which she takes thankfully.
“Is it because of Haleir?” he questions, and she can hear the slight strain in his voice when he says the name.
She just shrugs though. It's not Dirthamen's fault, and she has no interest in it seeming as though it could be. Especially not after what he did for her. “Not really. It was a lot of things that had built up over time reaching a boiling point, that's all.”
He doesn't look entirely convinced, but he doesn't press the issue either. Yet another thing she is grateful to him for.
They settle down on the floor with notes on some of the past blights spread out before them. The cups of cocoa go cold before long, and when she leans over to better see a page Dirthamen is pointing to, her hand brushes over his own. They both hesitate then, for a moment. She likes the contact though. It is comfortable, and grounding, and she slowly curls her fingers through his own.
He doesn't pull back, and after a moment he gives her a reassuring squeeze. There is no further expectation to the gesture, and she gives him a genuine smile before turning back to their work.
She realizes they must have fallen asleep when her alarm goes off in the morning. She is leaning against his shoulder, and their hands are still linked. Something in her eases at the sight.
She will have to speak to him about this, she thinks.
