#elsa's diary

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Elsa's Diary - The Day I Almost Killed Anna

Dear Diary,

Today, everything changed. I hurt Anna. My powers... they're too dangerous. I can't control them.

We were playing in the ballroom, making snow and ice like we always do. Anna was jumping from snow pile to snow pile, going faster and faster. I couldn't keep up. I slipped, and then... oh, it was terrible. My magic hit her head. She fell, so cold, so still.

Mama and Papa rushed us to the trolls. They saved Anna, but they had to change her memories. She won't remember my magic now. It's for the best, I suppose.

Papa says I have to stay in my room from now on. To protect Anna. To protect everyone. He gave me gloves to help conceal my powers. "Conceal it, don't feel it. Don't let it show." That's what I have to do now.

Anna knocked on my door earlier. She wanted to build a snowman. I wanted to say yes so badly, but I can't. I won't risk hurting her again. It broke my heart to hear her walk away, confused and sad.

I'm scared, Diary. What if I can never control this? Will I be locked away forever? I miss Anna already. I miss our games, our laughs. But this is how it has to be.

I have to be alone. It's the only way to keep everyone safe.

Elsa

[elsasadventure]

Power

[elsasadventure]

Angel of Small Death

[elsasadventure]

Dance.

[elsasadventure]

entry number one: time

Adventure Time, one of my favorite series, ended today. On one hand, I’m overjoyed that it happened, and simultaneously I’m so horribly hollow it happened. I had not realized until now what a profound impact it had on my development as a teenager and my inner creativity and wonder. The show’s creators are true masters of storytelling, and when examing the series as a whole, this effect is even more evident. I never realized I could cry this much. Part of me feels less... safe..? with Adventure Time’s absence. My family wonders why an “almost adult” loves animated cartoons so much and becomes so engaged with them. The answer is this: not only do they make me feel whole, they remind me of the inherent childlike goodness and kindness of the universe. If humans can create such a magnificent, wholesome work of art simply for the purpose of entertaining and spreading joy, then not everything is lost. And each time another one of these shows is lost, my hearts breaks a bit. I know there will be more in the future, but at the present moment I’m empty, and that’s okay. 

***

To begin this diary series, here are lyrics from the master artist Rebecca Sugar’s “Time Adventure”:

Time is an illusion that helps things make sense

So we are always living in the present tense

It seems so forgiven when a good thing ends

But you and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then

//

Singing will happen, happening happened

Will happen, happening happened?

And we will happen again and again

'Cause you and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then

Will happen, happening happened?

Will happen, happening happened?

And we'll happen again and again

'Cause you and I will always be back then

//

If there was some amazing force outside of time to take us back to where we were

And hang each moment up like pictures on the wall

Inside a billion tiny frames so we can see it all, all, all

//

It will look like, will happen, happening happened?

Will happen, happening happened?

And there we are again and again

'Cause you and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then

Will happen, happening happened?

Will happen, happening happened?

And there we are again and again

'Cause you and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then

That's why

You and I will always be best friends

[ask-frozenswan-blog]

A Page on Elsa’s diary

May 24th, 2013

Dear diary, I finally met Red! I've been living in Storybrooke for months now and I heard a lot of stories of Red, but they told me she went back to the Enchanted Forest to find others of her kind. And by "her kind", I mean werewolves! Red didn't spend much time with us, but she happened to hear about me from Snow and went to talk to me about how fear is destructive and all. She didn't tell anything I didn't know, to be honest. And then, she told me she realized how I look at Emma and I suddenly realized this wasn't about my powers. She was talking about my love life (or the lack of it). At first, it was weird to talk about this with someone I've never met, but then she started talking about this girl she thinks she's in love with, Dorothy, and I relaxed a little. It's not like I will follow her advice, but it was nice to have someone other than grumpy Henry to talk to, even if it was for a short period of time, and it was beyond nice to actually talk about how I feel about Emma. Now that Snow and Red are gone, Regina is focusing on trying to stop Zelena and Hades' romance and Emma and David are gone to the woods to find Robin. Meanwhile, I'm Henry's bodyguard again... I wish I could do something to help...

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A Page on Elsa’s diary

May 19th, 2013

Dear diary, Emma met a very special person, and she ended up losing her. When everyone started meeting people they knew, a significant other, I realized it was a matter of time before all of us found someone we once met. This is not Emma's case, but it was painful anyway. She explained to me that the woman was Henry's grandmother and Mr. Gold's first wife. And that she'd also shared a romantic connection with Killian, which is kinda weird if you ask me. I didn't tell Emma that, of course, but I can’t help but think. Now that we have Killian, I thought it was just a matter of time before we got back, but apparentely Hades decided to trap some of us here. And we leave no man (or woman) behind! God, I miss Anna terribly. She really wanted to come, but ended up understanding someone should stay at the Sheriff Station while David and Emma aren't there. I should've stayed too, but I wouldn't let Emma down again. I didn't meet anyone I care about in here, by the way. At least, not yet. I thought I'd meet mother and father, but apparently they moved on around a few weeks ago. I guess Ingrid and Helga were probably their unfinished business. I'm ashamed to confess that this makes me feel kind of bad, because I wished they'd stayed stuck in here because of Anna and I. For a reason, I never thought I’d meet Ingrid. She clearly didn’t leave any unfinished business when she died. I’m happy to testify my theory (and so is Emma). Anyway, now we are stuck, I miss Anna terribly, there is no one I know and can help in here and, to make things better, Emma and Hook went to her house and they are talking (I hope). I feel disgusted of myself, but I can't help what I feel. PS: Looking at the bright side, my magic is the only one that works here the same way it worked in Storybrooke. I don’t know why is that, but it’s a good thing that I can freeze Hades if he dare coming after us.

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