What advice would you give Mulder and Scully as a couples therapist?
oh good lord 😂 this is gonna have to go under a read more fkdajkfljakdf;
i have actually thought about this a lot and the first thing I always think of is communication. I feel like they don't miscommunicate too often because they either communicate or they don't—when they communicate, they understand each other really well.
to start, though, I'd ask them what they think their relationship is. like do they think this is normal? and I'd ask them that completely seriously because we really need to know if they think this is normal behavior 😂 I would also start with a lot of psychoeducation about the importance of processing and sharing your feelings since both of them grew up in environments where emotions were punished (even if unintentionally).
I'd try to really get across to them the point that nobody can read your mind. You can know someone really well, you can guess with 99% accuracy what their response will be, and you can't KNOW anything unless they tell you. This is a lesson that needs to be learned in multiple settings: people don't know for sure how you express love and affection until you tell them. people can't know what you need unless you tell them. you don't know what someone's intentions are unless you ask them. And even then, you only know with as much certainty as you have trust.
One example I'll (try to) give is "Never Again" ("try to" because it's an episode I avoid at all costs for personal reasons, so I have only seen it twice). I get annoyed because I know a lot of people get mad at Mulder for being inconsiderate and careless, but the thing is, Scully communicated none of what she was feeling in that episode to Mulder. Yes, Mulder could be more perceptive, but she's also punishing him without letting him know why ("punishing" here meaning that she's treating him as though she communicated something and he ignored it, not meaning all the events of the episode), which is unfair. She also assumes she knows why Mulder didn't get her a desk, and I'd argue that she doesn't truly know why. It's possible he didn't get her a desk because he likes having her there in that space with him. That would definitely be a self-centered reason, but it's not malicious, and might change how she responds to what's going on.
I don't think they fully have the language to reflect on what they feel and express it to others (though Mulder is pretty good at it generally, I think he would need some practice recognizing in the moment), so we'd probably do a lot of "sitting with the feeling" without judgment and without trying to change it. I'd also probably practice validation with them (which is not validation as in "your feelings are valid" or "I hear you" — validation as in "I see what you are showing me and you can show me more").
I guess the tl;dr of it is that it comes down to communication, but most specifically communication around feelings. also, maybe they could try fucking about it. just to see.