chipped nail polish from gnawing on your fingers for comfort, smudged dollar store clown makeup. smelling faintly of cloves, old library books, and cheap peppermint. dancing your heart out in broken-in sticker-covered tap shoes till you drop, stealing your caregiver's cane to put on a show on top of a cardboard stage.
silicone chewelry that tastes of leather, bubblegum, and vanilla,, using soda cans to put your cigarette butts in, creased ruffles on every accessory, treating every trip to the mall like a broadway opening night. regression isn't a retreat into silence; it's a loud, frantic whimsy of being a walking contradiction of sartorial elegance and calculated messiness, and loving every second of it.
my moms are so precious to me,, been a while since i've made a self-indulgent comfort post about my fictional cgs but my brain has been rotted from the inside out over them,, this is a lot like how i'd imagine the feeling of our dynamic to be like!!
(divider credits)
a/n: headcanons under the cut because i refuse to be silent about her (/lh)
she's been with me for almost a decade now and gives off such cool older sister energy. one of my favorite fictional apocalypse characters. ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
caregiver! clementine
an extremely reliable caregiver that teaches her kiddo everything she knows as their survival in such a harsh environment is her top priority.
and there is, quite literally, almost nothing that could keep her from you.
comes up with silly nicknames that'll never outgrow you, you may be in a bigger headspace or physically older but you're still just as precious to her.
she tries to give as much verbal praise as she can, despite her moments of silence she always wants you to know that she's proud of you.
likes to savor the quiet moments alone with her regressor, taking in the sights and sounds of your eerily quiet world, and takes every opportunity to make something a learning experience.
wants to give you a balance of life outside of surviving with the ericson kids. despite her actions she does want you to know that there are good people to build a safe community with.
the ericson kids help around with caretaking on the side, wanting to give clementine moments to herself to relax and be a kid as well.
quietly gives you have the larger portion of food or rations, insisting that she had already eaten her share.
very good at remembering the things you enjoy, and will do her best on patrols to bring back toys/craft/regression supplies and gear to keep you entertained.
loves to see your smile and puts her at ease to see you giggle, its one of her favorite things in the world. in those moments she's able to forget the weight of her responsibilities.
regressor! clementine
doesn't have many opportunities to regress, and even then won't let herself fully slip into the headspace unless she's certain that AJ/her little one is being looked after by someone she completely trusts. it can be very hard for her to maintain a regressed headspace since most of it is voluntary, and is always ready to fight at the drop of a pin.
a mostly independent and quiet regressor. she takes care of her needs first (patching herself up/refueling with food and water) but needs a gentle reminder now and then from the people around her that its alright to have wants and to vocalize them.
puts WAY too much pressure on herself to be useful; needs to be told that things are alright and she did a good job before she can relax and play.
most of her regression is spent napping or doing low energy activities now that her body and mind has time outside of survival mode.
if she's completely alone she'll allow herself to process the trauma and survivor’s guilt that she's been through and grieve her loved ones, crying while holding her hat close to her chest.
tends to self isolate when she involuntarily vent regresses out of habit, worrying that her flashbacks or headspace will bring danger to herself or others (i think she unknowingly has a deep fear of turning into or ending up like sarah a LOT, but still misses her friend). in this way she finds regression a helpful coping mechanism for her PTSD, though it’s not always a positive experience for her.
because of this (and despite being an independant regressor) clementine HATES being alone. her deepest fear is being left behind and being around people makes her feel safe, even if they aren't physically in view. as long as she knows there are other kids walking the school grounds while she's regressed she'll feel at ease.
doesn't keep many regression items on her since she's always ready to leave personal belongings behind when things go south, but now that she's felt safe at ericson's she keeps a very small collection of trinkets from her favorite people that she'll take out and stare at or draw. it's her way of feeling closer to them and remember that she can allow herself to be vulnerable, taken care of, and loved.
bonus hc:
after receiving a prosthetic leg from the kids at ericson she had to re-teach herself how to walk. some of the kids would tease her with arms outstretched as though she were taking her first steps or others would be there to support/encourage her but respecting the fact that she didn’t want to be babied. and though she hated the attention the smallest regressed part of her felt so happy to be taken care of again in that way.
