#emcee headcanons

[mamab4writes]

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Hey diva, guess who's writing now😝

Mother is sick of reading fanfics and this y/n bitch is a baby acting pick me. Like.. Bitch I would NOT say that and I do NOT act like that.

SO! IM TAKING IT INTO MY OWN MANICURED HANDS😍

𝓡𝓾𝓵𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮.

Just send me a prompt or a request and.. i'll write it pretty much

Please do be specific though! The more specific the better. Do you want romantic..? Platonic? General headcanons? Ect! 💞

I do best with headcanons and writing specifics. Like.. Say.. Goth!reader, Gyaru/gyaruo!reader, Punk!reader.. You get the gist. My reader will NEVER be the basic pick me that y/n is, trust💞

I WILL WRITE:

Headcanons

Fluff

One shots

X Male!reader

X Fem! Reader

X G/N! Reader (unless its specified ina request, everything I write will be gender neutral unless a character is strictly lesbian or gay canonically)

YOUR OCS X CHARACTER!! Just send me a specific inbox message of how they specifically act and all that jazz

Character x character

Comfort fics

And the basics pretty much. I'll write for any race, any gender, any subculture.. ANYONE pretty much

Oh and a big one.. READER IS NEURODIVERGENT FRIENDLY!!! In fact in the way I write, it's more likely they're somewhere on the spectrum😭 I can't help it

Satire!

I WON'T WRITE:

Smut (sorry diva, i'll only joke about it.)

Little kids

Yanderes

NONCON (goes without saying)

Infantilized (sp?) Reader

Just the basic gross shit

REAL LIFE HUMAN PEOPLE WITH REAL LIFE HUMAN LIVES

Mafia (unless its satire)

Omegaverse (unless its satire)

I'll write for just about any fandom, but here's some I'm in! Not sure if anyone is still in some of these or writes, but i'll gladly do it!

Jeepers creepers (Specific characters like Darry, Trish)

HXH (The Phantom troupe, Leorio, Kurapika)

Dispatch (Any of them!)

Balders Gate 3 (Astarion, Karlach, Gale)

Cabaret (EMCEE)

Little shop of horror (Audry, Seymour)

Arcane (Any)

The Quarry (Any)

Legend of Zelda (Also any)

Persona series (Again, any!)

Scooby doo (Any)

Harry Potter (Any)

FINAL FANTASY!! (Reno, Tseng, Rufus, Rude, Cloud, Biggs, Ignis, Prompto, Gladio, Jessie, Reeves.. You know what.. ANYONE!!)

RWBY (Any)

Devil May Cry (Any)

Bayonetta (Any)

Ride the Cyclone (Any)

Resident evil (specify which era you'd like pls💞 Also Any, its all of your lucky days)

Metal Gear (Hal, Raiden)

Black Butler (any, but Grelle is my fav)

Uhmm more that I can't think of rn. When I say specified, it just means I write for these characters best. I can still write the others in said series I specified in.

I'm also really into 90's and 2000's movies, so GO FOR IT!!

DOESN'T MATTER THOUGH BC I'LL WRITE FOR JUST ABOUT ANYONE!! If I don't know the character i'll just study videos of them and do my best!

I have a pt 2 to this intro bc tag limits!! If you can't, find it just look up "blog" in my tags/ search option :3 same for a longer list of things I won't do in writing, as well as some instructions 💞

[headcanons-once-and-for-all]

Emcee headcanons pls pls

My personal headcanon is BPD bc I make the rules ^^

I honestly never though about this (BPD Sally Bowles 4 life tho) but But he's definetly depressed and I can fight you on that.

This is angst by the way. If you know cabaret. TW for mentions of alcoholism, ed (not glorified dw) and the Nazis.

Emcee feeds the cats that lurk in the alleyways nearing Kit Kat Club. How he wishes he could take them home... but it's not possible. He can't imagine his landlord allowing him to keep some dirty strays as pets. And even if he could it'd get all the more expensive then occasionally feeding them. Max doesn't let him take them inside the club either. Not like he listens... Max isn't around enough to notice him sneaking the cats in on the especially cold and stormy nights. Even if his boss realises keeping them safe is worth a black eye.

He has a soft spot for both Helga and Bobby. Helga sees Em as a father figure and he's very protective over her since she's the youngest of the Kit Kat girls. (Ik I have more headcanons about them and if you want to hear them just let me know but I can't put them into words right now(?) brain isn't workin as it should /hj)

He only ever comes alive on stage, he'll spend all days locked inside his room, lying in bed and drinking gin/smoking but when the time comes he'll go to the club and perform. This especially applies to the later stages of the show when the Nazis are already present. He hates his audience at the time but she show must go on and as long as he gets a reaction out of them he doesn't care.

He listens to both sides. Reads newspapers for both communists and Nazis, liberals and democrats and as much as he tries to pretend he doesn't care for the politics and that he's neutral he finds the latter repulsive and disgusting. Emcee plays for the public but hates the Nazis with his whole heart (as he should)

Emcee is a high functioning alcoholic which even Sally is concerned about at this point. He'll claim to survive off on gin and cigarettes despite often collapsing and fainting in his dressing room and basckstage. He geniuely finds the idea of eating unappiling. Sally will buy those biscuits the British eat over tea. They barely have any taste and Emcee wonders if food can physically be that dry but still eats them both to get Sally to shut up and actually survive.

[headcanons-once-and-for-all]

Do you think emcee committed any theft in his lifetime? If so can your write some headcanons 💅🏻

Hello again! Yes I can write that

Definetly! The thing is that he steals from the rich. Which I mean how big of a crime is it? It's our money either way (Mod's note: I feel like I seem too positive and supportive of this so just a fyi I do not steal!)

It's usually his clients though. That way it's the easiest. He'll just take money out of their pockets and usually no one notices

It's also good because they can't prove him anything. I mean once they do notice going back to the club is probably too much trouble so emcee gets away with this

Ah! Because the man he steals from can't go to the police most of the time. I mean I don't think they'd willingly admit to these types of things

Other then that probably some shoplifting but he doesn't do it that often because it's more risky. He did steal a few bottles of gin in his lifetime tho

(Edit from 9.11.2025 (DD/MM/YY) Actually you know what fuck it, eat the rich, abolish the goverment, steal from bourgeoisie, life is a Cabaret so no regrets)

[headcanons-once-and-for-all]

this is kinda random but. what kind of perfume/cologne do u think emcee would wear. like. the Notes

Please accept my limitated knowlage on fregrences I've chosen one perfume at 12 and have been using it ever science (I've went through more then one bottle dw. But it's the same scent the same brand every time)

Definetly cheap. He can't afford anything fancier as much as he wants to. And it's woman's perfume none the less. It's easier to find and there is bigger variaty of smells.

I have no idea how scents work but they smell sharp. Woody? Apperently it's a thing.

I think he'd have two perfumes actually! One is very sweet and suffocating. It evaporates easily but the faint smells stays on him for hours. The type of perfume that reminds you of the color pink and fresh fruits. The romantic and soft one that smells kind of like candies.

Then the other one (possibly the one that he wears later on) is sharp and doesn't smell of fruits or anything in particular but it's way darker and not sweet at all. I can't explain it but the perfume that smells kind of like danger. It's dark. If perfumes could be colors it'd be dark brown. But like the color of blood. I'm very out of it but I trust you know what I mean. It also had a strong smell.

I really hope this is what you asked for and I'm so sorry I'm bad with perfumes 😭 Sephora overwhelmes me.

[headcanons-once-and-for-all]

If emcee had cats, what would he name them?

So I think that he takes care of the strays that hang around the club at all times. They aren't afraid of him anymore and he'll sometimes sneak the injured ones into his place above the club to have them rest and fed properly. But he never names them, he'd get too attached, besides cats don't need names. They just know who they are. (Coraline ref anyone?)

But if he was to name them and I'm not saying that he will never do that (Deep in my heart I believe he got to have his 18 cats in the apartment. At some point)

I think Emcee would name them something bizzare and over the top like Despearaux or Devereaux (two different cats) everything like this. Anything fancy and unique and then he'll get annoyed when others don't get it right. And among all those complex names there is one cat that's just named Mr. Fluffy and Emcee will never ever aknowlage how silly that is even though this one particular name raises a lot of eyebrows because knowing Em it does not fit.

[headcanons-once-and-for-all]

DO YOU HAVE EMCEE HEADCANONS OF HIM FINDING AN ORPHAN ON THE STREETS OF BERLIN (sorry for yelling just so happy I found a headcanon writer)

OH MY GOSH YASSSS I SWEAR THAT'S KIND OF HIM AND HELGA!!! EVEN THOUGH THIS WON'T BE ABOUT HER! (Oh my God yesss I love writing Headcanons! And Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!)

On today's episode of ignoring the fact I use it/it's pronouns for a child because I have no idea how to call it

I swear he'd take the kid home/Kit Kat Club and do everything to hide it from Max and the dancers although with how cramped the backstage is they'd quickly discover his secret. Soon Sally was also taking care of it along with the Kit Kat Girls. (Ah because in my head he lives above the club in like an apartment whatever but he shares it with the girls. I don't know how possible and correct that is but yk)

Em would claim not to care for the kid and that he's just doing it because no one else would. It has been suggested to him to just give it away to some orphanage but he got attached. He'd still come up with dumb excuses though and act as if it was a burden (it was in fact not a burden)

He's a good dad. He's a protective person you have to trust me. He and Sally would take it to the playground and try to buy it food. They obeviously look uncanny taking care of a child but they get the married couple act quite well so even if some people give them strange looks no one tries to take the kid away which is all that matters.

I feel like Emcee doesn't really know how to deal with children's emotions. If it starts to cry he'll try to sing to calm it down or do funny faces but on the inside he'll geniuely panic. He talks to it a lot. Not even sensible things just something like "See Mx. Well go make a coffee and then I have to fill out some paperwork... Oh! and by a newspaper. Crosswords Mm I'll need your help with that" for context the kid like three or two it doesn't understand all that.

I want to explore this dynamic more Emcee parenting is such a fun thing to think about but I've ran out of actual headcanons so instead of babbling or whatever here is the last one: He'd have to give it away at some point. After all how long a man like him can manage raising a kid. It's better that he does it quickly so the child isn't too attached and still has a chance of finding an actual family. Lucily he managed to find it a foster home before getting arrested so the child is safe. Still he'd miss it dearly and it was one of the worst experiences of his life.

This would honestly eat as a fanfic if you ignore the bad writing and the fact I can't get my thoughts out (is that how you say it ???)

[headcanons-once-and-for-all]

Helooo I love your Emcee HCs!! And I was kinda curious if you had headcanons on the kind of lover or like romantic partner would he be hehe. Not sure if you made headcanons on that yet but I can't stop thinking abt it I might just write fanfics of ittt

Ooooh! Okay I see what you mean and I don't think I did that yet? But then again I haven't written anything for Cabaret in a while which is terrible, I should do that more often! If you do write the fanfics please let me know i'd so read them!

Also I wanted to say I'm sorry it's so messy I don't know what happent there:

See I don't think he's a romantic person. Definetly not the type to take his partner out on an expensive date or have a dinner with candles under the moon light, no I don't think he's like that.

Majority of his relationships don't last long and are just simple flings with people he met at the club or his co-workers though when he gets attached to someone he'll not leave them alone.

He cares about his partners much more then he'd like to admit. Though I still think he's usually cold.

It takes him a while to drop his stage persona and even then you don't know what's real and what's not. He's very secretive and doesn't like commitment. He's used to people leaving him so he'll try to push his partners away before they can leave him themselves.

I still don't think he'd be a bad partner don't get me wrong. His actions speak louder then words and he's willing to secrefice himself for those he cares about even though he claims not to care much (see what I did there)

Also he's definetly a flirt if he feels like having fun and if he's drunk enough, so that can be fun! Like I said he has his way with words but he's mostly blunt just for the sake of it.

Definetly uses a lot of pet names and teases his partners. And to sum it all up he'd quickly get bored of people kind of like Sally does. He'd usually stay with them as long as it amuses him to do so but if he cares about someone he'd put his life on line to keep them safe.

He doesn't like being seen as emotional, Emcee believes that makes him seem weak so it'll be awhile before he opens up. Still he'd refuse to talk about his problems or himself. He can be passionate and is definetly touchy but only when it suits him.

I just think it's a long way before he gets actually comfortable with someone and it takes a lot of patience to know the real him.

[headcanons-once-and-for-all]

Can you explain your headcanon of the relationship between helga and emcee please 👉🏻👈🥺

YASSSS i can explain this! I have so many hcs for the Kit Kat Girls especially Helga! (Not posting all of them rn 😔)

She's the youngest of the dancers. In fact she was in the club when she was orphaned at the age of 15. But at the time she was only cleaning after the place closed and didn't need to interact with the guests. Still Emcee saw her because he often just stayed in the club. They'd make some small talk and he'd get her some tea in winter to keep her warm.

She only joined the rest of the girls at 18/19 and Emcee immidiently became protective of her. He showed her around and comforted her when she was still getting used to the new circumstances.

Basically they spend a lot of time together and everyone knows he sees her a bit like a daughter (he tries to deny it but as soon as Helga is hurt he'll drop everything and go check on her)

She tells Em about all her troubles and he just listens to her talk. He's also always willing to get into fights with Max when the other gets angry at Helga.

I also think he cares most about her. Like obeviously he'd hate to see any of the Kit Kat Girls get hurt but Helga especially. Like you know what I mean!

This is all thanks to like two fanfic I read about them and I just love them being found family type of thing. Like yes that's it!