#emmie says things

[burntotears]

Man, I used to write 2K one-shots as easily as breathing and now if it isn't 5K or more I don't seem to be able to get the point across.

Give me back the easy days, dammit! I wanna churn out quick fics and move on.

Anyway, I finished my first mcdale fic finally, so that's good.

[burntotears]

RPing Hansry has me going fucking feral, y'all.

@flyinthemilk is so fucking gooooooood at this.

[burntotears]

I've kind of dropped out of fandom for a bit--that tends to happen when my fixation switches focus to something else. I had an interpersonal issue crop up that kind of threw a lot of things for a loop and jarred me from everything.

I'm kind of getting back to a feeling of normalcy. There's still work to be done, of course, but after reassessing my own personal struggles, I've come to what I hope is a step in the right direction.

I took a test for assessing if a person has ADHD. The neurologist had to read over the results and write some notes:

It's weird to see this in writing, because I had my suspicions for a while now, but to only see this now when I am 37 years old is kind of jarring. Also a little vindicating.

I have spent so much time thinking that I was depressed and taking different depression medications, and to be quite honest, I don't think it was ever depression. I think it's been ADHD this whole fucking time.

I have told so many doctors what I thought my type of depression was--that I never felt it was very serious--and somehow none of them came to this conclusion. I literally figured this out via fucking TikTok videos.

There is also some studies about a possible link between headaches and ADHD and I am hopeful that starting a correct medication might actually get my daily headaches under control. And maybe I can stop taking so many fucking pills.

And then maybe I can get back into doing things I was enjoying before all of this started.

[burntotears]

Alex accidentally becoming the favorite dad in kidfic is basically my favorite thing in the universe. Especially when he is in denial that it is happening while everyone else is pouting about it.

[burntotears]

marriage!verse Part 5 is 16K already and I still have a bit to go. SIGH. I could split it up but it doesn’t make much sense at this point. I don’t want to cliffhang it and the next part can just be lots of fluff and less actiony-plot which I’m sure some people will enjoy.

Hopefully I can finish tonight/tomorrow and get editing done by the end of the week. Unfortunately I will be totally high on Thursday from my ketamine infusion so I probably won’t get shit done on that day lol

[burntotears]

marriage!verse is getting a heist fic. Not sure how this happened, but here we are. If only the heist planning could stick to actual planning and not get all angsty and feelsy.

[burntotears]

GDI I was totally half-joking about writing this Malex White Trash Warlock AU but I started reading Book 3 of the Adam Binder series and not only did they mention Roswell in this one, but Vic called Adam fucking "Cowboy" in it so fuck me, I guess.

[burntotears]

I started this damn sequel-esque thing to Hopeful Hands and it’s getting longer than it has any right to be. And things are popping into it that I had no intention to be in there (why are they talking about kids???).

I just wanted a simple handprint feels fic with a really dumb prompt I had found and now I have all this shit in my lap. What is life.