Title: The Road to Albuquerque
W/C: 1399
Summary: Every honeymoon should start out with your husband sobbing uncontrollably and telling you to turn the car around, right?
A/N: Part 1 of Marriage Ain’t Easy
[ AO3 Link or read under the cut ]
“You’ve been quiet.”
Alex's voice was hushed, loath to break the stillness of the cab as they drove down the highway toward Albuquerque. It’d been almost thirty minutes since they left Roswell and Michael hadn’t said anything to him since taking the initial exit.
Michael glanced over at him and then back at the road, clearing his throat. “Yeah uh, sorry. Max gave me a wedding present before we left.”
When the sentence stuck there, Alex remained quiet aside from a small noise to confirm he had heard. He knew there was more to it and Michael would finish once he had the space to do so.
“He said he’s going to Oasis,” Michael finally added a few minutes later, his voice so soft Alex strained to hear him over the road noise.
“Jesus what?” Alex knew his response was too loud, too much for the current conversation, but the news was so far from anything he could have expected Michael to share. Michael actually startled from the volume of his voice.
“Michael, we should have stayed! When? When is he leaving?” Alex felt so far out of his depth. His first instincts were always to attend to Michael’s needs and Michael needed his family. “We can put our honeymoon on hold to spend time with your brother.” He said it without a second thought, even though a small piece of happiness broke off inside of him when he did. Ultimately it was just a trip away and it didn’t mean as much as family did.
His husband made a noise in the back of his throat that Alex couldn’t parse and reached over to take Alex’s hand. “He didn’t want me to stay. It was the decision he made and I’m okay with that decision.” Michael squeezed his fingers. “It was what he needed to do and this–this is what I needed to do. Be here with you.”
Alex’s lip quivered. “Are you sure?”
Michael looked over at him, lifted Alex’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Yes, baby. I am one hundred percent positive.”
Alex blew out a long, shaky breath. He didn’t know why he was breaking down. Alex liked Max, sure, but they weren’t exactly close. Yet there he was, his chest tight and his breathing heavy as he actually considered what this meant. One of the most important people in Michael’s life was literally about to leave the fucking planet and Michael was still here with Alex, driving them to Albuquerque like it was no big fucking deal. Part of Alex’s heart was shattering because he didn’t think Michael was letting himself process this and when he did, Max would already be gone.
“Alex…” Michael soothed, feeling Alex’s hand shaking in his own grip. Michael pulled the truck to the shoulder, slowing down to a stop and turning on the hazards so that he could focus on Alex fully.
“We need to go back,” Alex muttered weakly. Michael brushed tears from Alex’s cheek with his thumb. “You’ll regret it if we don’t go back.”
Now his husband had both hands on his face, holding him in place and looking him in the eye. “There is nothing I could ever regret about being with you, Alex.”
“He is your brother, Michael. He isn’t leaving town on a weekend trip, he is leaving the fucking planet!” Alex was so frustrated that Michael didn’t seem to care.
Michael brushed more of Alex’s tears from his cheeks and was still so calm. He wasn’t even pissed that Alex was yelling at him. He pressed his forehead against Alex’s. “He’s leaving tomorrow, Alex. I spent my last happy hours with him celebrating at our wedding and that’s how I want it to stay. We said our goodbyes. There’s nothing more for us to say. Okay?
“It does suck that he’s leaving and I will miss him so much,” Michael moved back and brushed Alex’s hair back from his face, “but I am not alone right now. I’m not breaking because I have you with me for the rest of my life and that makes me the strongest fucking person on this goddamn rock.”
Alex released a watery laugh which made Michael smile warmly at him. He grabbed at Michael’s wrists and held onto him.
“You don’t need to worry about me. And I’m not saying I won’t need your help in the future, but for right now I can promise you that I am okay and I’m exactly where I need to be.”
With a heavy sigh, Alex nodded. It was hard to release all the tension built up in his sternum, but he took long, even breaths while looking into Michael’s eyes and allowed his words to wash over him. Michael was acknowledging that there could be a point in the future where his sorrow might overcome him and he trusted in Alex to walk him through it. That was enough.
Later when Alex had composed himself and they were back on the road, he decided it was safe to pick up the topic again. “Do they know what it’s like there? Is there anything left?”
“According to what Maria showed Max in her astral projection, the planet is almost dead. The blue flame is supposed to help restore the damage daddy dearest left behind, so that’s what he’s hanging his hat on.”
There were so many apocalyptic stories about Earth, yet Alex still couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a planet to really die like that. And the one that Michael came from, no less. “Do they know if anyone is still alive?”
“Didn’t say, but I don’t think the prognosis is good. Though that doesn’t mean more people didn’t leave after Jones fucked off. Could be there’s more here we haven’t found yet, could be there’s more on other planets we haven’t found yet.” Michael drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.
“If there are more here, we can find them. We found Dallas and Jones used the Lockhart machine to call Bonnie and the others, so there’s got to be more out there we don’t know about.” Alex wasn’t just blowing smoke, though he feared that his father’s sites might have gotten ahold of occupied pods alongside the aliens they did testing on.
Michael looked over at him curiously. “You really think so?”
“Of course, don’t you?”
“I guess… I don’t think about it quite as much as before. I was always looking for more because it never felt like I had anything of my own, but now I have it. Everything I want, everything I need.” He hummed. “I’m not searching anymore.”
Jesus, was he going to cry again? He swallowed thickly. He was more than happy for Michael, he just hoped that his husband wouldn’t resent his own feelings about the future. “I’m–I’m not done, Michael. I don’t know when I will be.” It sounded like Michael had figured things out, but not Alex. He had yet to reach the threshold where he felt like he’d done enough.
“You’re not obligated to wipe the world clean of his stain, Alex.”
He shouldn’t be too surprised that Michael had a decent idea of what Alex felt. “It was about that at first – the Manes' dirty legacy, but this isn’t about atonement for someone else’s sins anymore. This is something I need–and want–to do for myself. I want the world to be safe for you, Michael, but we don’t know how many others could be out there. I need to know that I gave my all to help them too. I need to fight for more than just you now.”
For a while Michael didn’t say anything and Alex began to worry that Michael didn’t approve. What the hell were they going to do if they didn’t agree on this? He heard a soft huff from his husband and realized he’d been holding back his emotions. “If this is what you want to do, Alex, then I will be with you every step of the way.” Alex let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Just uh, don’t find any aliens that are sexier than me.”
Alex shook his head, laughing. “Oh, you mean like Dallas?”
“Damn, that’s harsh. And on our honeymoon, too.”
“I may be a married man, but I still have eyes, Guerin.”
Title: In My Veins
W/C: 9583
Summary: Michael is trying to learn how to tap into his healing ability so he and Alex try the handprint as a stepping stone. They aren't really prepared for how the bond makes them feel when they're together and especially not when they are apart
A/N: Part 3 of Marriage Ain’t Easy
[ AO3 Link or read under the cut ]
“Ready?”
Alex locked eyes with Michael who was hovering just slightly above him, knelt between his spread thighs on the couch with his palm placed flat in the middle of Alex’s bare chest. Alex inhaled a long, shaky breath and the hesitation in his response was enough that Michael sat back on his heels, letting his hand slip down to Alex’s stomach.
“Alex. I’m not going to do this if you don’t want to,” Michael said warily, his jaw tight.
Alex shook his head, placing a hand on Michael’s thigh and squeezing it. “It’s not what you think.”
“Oh, you know what I’m thinking?” Michael raised an eyebrow.
Alex gave him a look that made Michael chuckle.
“I’m not scared you’ll hurt me, Michael. I know that would never happen.” Alex saw the tension slowly seeping from Michael’s shoulders, proving his assertion correct. “It’s… I’m worried about some of the stuff in my head. About you feeling it.”
Michael’s face softened and he brushed his hand down the length of Alex’s arm. “And you think I’m not? Not sure if you noticed, Alex, but we’re both pretty fucked up individuals.”
“That’s not exactly a good thing, Michael.” Alex’s brow creased from the frown he wore. Yes, it was good that they could admit to their own shortcomings, but there was being accepting of them and then there was relishing in them.
Michael hummed. “It’s not a bad thing either.”
It was such a simple statement, yet it slammed deep into Alex’s core and settled into its new home, curling like a cat in a sunspot. His lips parted slightly as he stared wordlessly at Michael.
“Uh… you okay?” Michael asked, squeezing his forearm.
Alex blinked and then nodded. “Yeah.” He took Michael’s hand and placed it back over his own heart, holding it there. “I’m ready. Let’s do it.”
“I still might not be able–”
“It’ll work, Michael.”
He knew Michael was worried about not being able to manage it, but Alex had faith enough for the both of them. Alex held his gaze and his hand over Michael’s as he watched his husband’s face begin to tense. It didn’t look like pain so much as concentration and he could see out of his peripheral vision the red glow emanating from beneath his own hand. Luckily it didn’t burn, it just gave him a vaguely tingling sensation. There was one last moment of normalcy looking up into Michael’s eyes before it felt like his entire world exploded into a sea of stars.
Alex gasped, his chest rising up toward Michael’s hand even as the other man was pulling it away. “Alex, are you okay?” The concern-surprise was filling him steadily like a faucet that wouldn’t turn off.
Alex opened his eyes, glancing from Michael’s face to his own chest where a faint outline of red stood out against his skin, but otherwise nothing looked different. He smiled and gently placed Michael’s hand back over the spot. “Told you you could do it.”
Michael scoffed, rolling his eyes and Alex immediately felt relief pouring into him. Alex moved to sit up and didn’t feel any weird side effects, which was good. “What did it feel like to you?”
“Like a fucking supernova went off in the back of my brain,” Michael said quietly. That sounded vaguely familiar.
“Do you need some acetone? You look really pale.” Alex tried to extricate himself from Michael, but he placed a firm hand to his thigh to hold him in place.
“Okay,” Alex breathed out softly, unsure if something was wrong.
Michael shook his head. “No, don’t worry, it’s not bad. I just need to be near you right now.” Whatever the emotions were that Michael was feeling, they were so jumbled up that Alex couldn’t make much sense of them.
“It feels kind of intense,” Alex tried instead.
“Can’t say I’m surprised.” Michael looked up with a small smirk. “It is you.”
“Asshole,” Alex laughed, shoving him in the shoulder. He felt a wave of amusement-adoration reverberate back at him and smiled. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Michael’s eyes were heavy-lidded and it was obvious he was fighting off the effects of using his powers.
Alex wanted to kiss him, but if he did then he knew he wouldn’t want to stop and Michael needed rest. “Let’s go, cowboy. Acetone and sleep.” He patted his husband’s cheek.
“But the kissing,” Michael complained, drawing the last word out petulantly. Alex had to wonder if Michael would have been able to deduce that before the bondprint just from his facial expressions. Not that it really mattered, but it was so strange to have internal feelings being responded to out loud.
“Maybe when you aren't going to pass out or vomit on me,” Alex mused, left foot now firmly on the floor and hands shoving at Michael to follow suit. “Go to bed and I’ll get it for you.”
“You’re going to lie down with me, right?” He wasn’t sure why Michael seemed so apprehensive about being away from him right now, but Alex wasn’t going to press the matter when the man was hardly coherent.
“I’ll be right there, Michael.”
—
Sharing feelings while sleeping was not something he had been prepared for. It felt like his dreams were one huge acid trip down the Wonderland rabbit hole. One thing would be happening in his own dream, but then Michael would send some completely unrelated feelings over the top to befuddle it. Alex woke up around three a.m. and knew there was no way he was going to get back to sleep like that.
After slipping on some sweatpants and making his way as quietly as he could from the bedroom, he made himself some coffee and settled at the table with a pen and paper to write down some of his thoughts.
Does proximity make the emotions feel stronger? Maybe if he and Michael weren’t in the same place, they wouldn’t feel things quite as strongly (or at all?) as they did right now. Not that he didn’t want them to, but he figured it was something that needed to be tested.
Shit. Apparently it would be tested, because he forgot he was supposed to go out of town tomorrow for an assignment at work. Alex wouldn’t have thought it a problem just yesterday, but after the way Michael acted last night, he was a little uneasy. It could have just been the newness and exertion of the power, though.
Does the relationship between the two make a difference? If Michael had used the print on someone he wasn’t so emotionally invested in, would that automatically make it a weaker bond altogether? Possibly they wouldn’t share as many emotions back and forth or could even control what was shifted to one another.
Can you share more than emotions through it? Alex knew that Max had been able to show memories through his handprints, but he had never been very strong with telepathy. Michael’s telepathy was better than Max’s ever was, though. If he could communicate with the other Oasians, it stood to reason that communicating through the bondprint was achievable. Was it necessary? No. Did Alex want to see if they could do it? Abso-fucking-lutely.
How does it transition to actual healing? They knew that the two were related, but they didn’t know in what way. Why would an Oasian need to be bonded to the person that they had healed? It wasn’t just in the mind, obviously, since emotions were one of the easiest things that moved back and forth between the bond.
Alex glanced up as he felt a jolt of fear crawl up his spine, making him shiver. He wasn’t surprised to see Michael come shuffling down the hallway a few moments later. He plopped down in the chair next to Alex and pressed a hand into the back of his hair. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“What are you doing out here?” Michael yawned. He still looked tired, but not as bad off as before.
“Couldn’t get back to sleep. You were emotion bleeding into my dreams and it was fucking weird.” Alex tapped the end of the pen against the table absently.
Michael snorted. “That goes both ways. It was like being on psychedelics or something.” He looked at the pad of paper. “What’s this?”
“Oh. I was just writing down questions I had about the bond. Things we might want to consider or test or… not.” It didn’t really matter if Alex blushed, because Michael would easily be able to feel his embarrassment now. Great.
Michael’s brow furrowed and he squeezed the back of Alex’s neck. “What’re you embarrassed for?”
“I dunno, just… I’m not a scientist or a literal genius,” he gestured at Michael, “so it’s not like the stuff I think of is something you haven’t already yourself. Or Liz… or fuck, even Kyle at this point. Marrying an Oasian doesn't make me some sort of expert on powers now.”
“Hey.” Michael put his other hand on Alex’s thigh as he felt the chair nudge easily until they were facing each other, Michael looking intently into his eyes while still holding Alex by the back of the neck. “No one is an expert, not even us. That’s the reason we’re doing this right now. You and me and no one else. And it really doesn’t matter how smart I am when I only have one perspective. You’re going to look at it from a completely different angle and see things I wouldn’t even think of because your brain works differently from mine. Which is exactly what we need.”
Alex could feel the way Michael believed in him and in everything he was saying. “And none of this is even hard science. We’re in total theoretical territory right now so theory,” Michael tapped at Alex’s notepad, “is exactly what we need. Don’t sell yourself short, Alex.”
“Yeah alright.” When Michael gave him an expectant look, Alex chuckled. “Okay, okay you’re right.”
“Hmm, can you repeat that?”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Shut up. How are you feeling?”
Michael sat back in his chair and rolled his shoulders. “Better, still tired though. Not sure it’s supposed to be this taxing.”
“Might depend on the depth of the bond you’re making.” Alex rubbed a hand up and down Michael’s thigh. “Like how bad the injury is you’re healing? Starting out with me might have been a mistake on our part since we are way too involved.” Alex turned slightly to scribble that note down on his pad as well.
“Go big or go home?” Michael offered weakly.
“You should go back to bed and I’ll stay up. We may need to alternate right now to get any quality sleep.”
“I don’t want to make you do that,” Michael started.
“I’m already up, babe. You need it more than I do right now.”
His husband eyed him skeptically. “I’m not sure about that.”
“I’m not the one who nearly passed out a few hours ago from using a new alien power.” They stared each other down for a few moments before Michael conceded.
“Don’t work too hard,” he said and kissed Alex’s forehead on his way back to the bedroom. At least he seemed less distressed than before. Things could even out with a bit of time; they just needed to grow used to it.
—
Maybe things weren't going to even out. By the time Michael woke up and was feeling more himself, he refused to leave Alex's side. He also seemed incapable of keeping his hands off of him in at least some small way.
It wasn't as if Alex was complaining. Touching Michael felt like it was amplified by the bondprint which made it all the more satisfying to feel Michael's skin against his.
They spent their morning curled up together on the couch drinking coffee and caressing each other like they were teenagers again. And it was nice to have that different kind of intimacy that still felt just as potent as having sex did.
"You know what we haven't talked about yet?" Michael asked, his arms wrapped around Alex's waist. Alex’s back was pressed against his chest and he was nestled between his legs. He was starting to doze a little after not having slept as much as Michael through the night.
"Hmmm?"
"Having kids." Michael had been brushing his fingertips up and down Alex's arm slowly, but he placed a hand over the shimmering handprint on Alex’s chest then instead. Michael was obviously waiting for a reaction and it was pretty unfair that he'd used the advantage of the bond to gauge Alex's response to the idea.
Especially because Alex's thoughts on kids were inordinately complicated. His emotions were probably confusing enough that Michael couldn't figure out what he was thinking even if he wanted to. He got his confirmation when he heard Michael huff into his hair. "Alright, out with it."
"Well for starters, didn't we have a conversation last night about how fucked up we both are?"
"I’d hardly call that a conversation… " Michael tried.
"Guerin," he said in annoyance.
"Okay, yeah sure. We’re both fucked up. We’re literally a product of our environments. But we also grew up, Alex. We’ve been growing for a long damn time and in a lot of positive ways.” Michael was proud of how far he’d come and that in and of itself was amazing to feel. He’d earned it and he damn well deserved it.
Alex shifted a bit so that he could look up at Michael’s face a bit easier. “We have, but that doesn’t exactly make us the model for good parenting.”
Michael traced his hand down Alex’s arm again before lacing their fingers together. “Talk to me.”
When Alex had figured out he was gay, he’d been a little relieved. Even if he did wind up getting married (a fleeting fantasy he’d barely entertained), there wouldn’t be any ‘oopsy’ babies to contend with. It was extremely difficult for same-gender couples to become parents regardless of the strides made in equality and the more he had learned about his family as he got older, the more he realized that it was a blessing in disguise–at least when it came to the likes of Alexander Manes.
“I am not going to bring another Manes into this world,” he said finally, his voice quiet but vehement.
“I know this isn’t about the name,” Michael started slowly, tilting Alex’s face toward him. It didn’t need to be said because the name wasn’t even an issue anymore. “Hell, I don’t even think you’re talking about your swimmers, because if the DNA bothered you that much you’d just say to use mine. So if I’m getting this correct,” he kept going and Alex closed his eyes, shame radiating off him like a homing beacon, “you actually think you could raise a kid that would turn out like your dad.”
“You’ve seen my family.”
“I’ve seen you. There is nothing in this world that you could touch that would turn out like your family. Unless you mean Greg, in which case that’s fine as long as he keeps the bench pressing in the house to a minimum.”
Alex frowned, looking at him again. “I’m being serious, Michael.”
“So am I. It doesn’t matter how a kid is or isn’t related to us–any of them would turn out amazing with you as a dad. You’re a brilliant, loving, selfless person who’s always done the best you could do for the people you love and, god, even for the people who don’t deserve it.” He swiped his thumb against Alex’s cheek.
“That doesn’t sound anything like me,” Alex said in half disbelief, half annoyance.
Michael laughed. “That’s because you were always looking at it like mission parameters, Private.”
“You thought I was being naive to still look for the good in people.” That might have had far more to do with it being Jesse Manes than anyone else. Hell, he’d even tried to keep Flint safe even though he’d been actively chained up by him.
“Yeah, I was also a miserable bastard who would rather make excuses to push everyone away than actually admit I gave a damn. Like I said, major growth.” He smiled warmly. “Now it’s time for you to stop taking on every horrible character flaw your family had as your own. Because they never were yours to carry, Alex.
“You’re not perfect; I’m not perfect. But we do deserve the chance at having a family if we want one–and I’ve always wanted one. There’s no one else in this fucking universe that I could do this with other than you, Alex.”
Alex chewed on the inside of his cheek. Michael had never told him that he’d wanted kids, though considering how they were always dealing with a crisis, maybe there was a reason it had never come up. He considered a moment before he said, slowly, “So, you don’t care if they’re related to us?”
“Not really. We’d have to find an oven if we wanted one that was, anyway. Why?” Michael raised a suspicious eyebrow at him.
“If you’re really serious about this, then we should sign up as foster parents. See if we could offer some kid or kids out there a better time of it than you and Dallas had. I mean, they might not be aliens, but with all that we’ve been through, we could probably handle teenage trauma well enough.”
Michael grinned at him and pressed their foreheads together, relief-excitement drifting into him. “What’re the chances we wound up with an alien, though?”
“More than probable. You attract trouble.”
“You calling my kind trouble?”
Alex scoffed. “No, you specifically are the trouble.”
—
Later in the evening when Alex had successfully napped a bit in Michael’s arms and they’d had something to eat, he reminded Michael, “I have the Amarillo trip tomorrow.”
The agitation in Michael was immediate. “Cancel it.”
“Kyle and I are picking up an artifact that looks like it goes with one of the things we pulled from the facility we raided a couple of months ago. It’s important, Michael. And Deep Sky is paying for it, which helps us out a lot considering we couldn’t get ahold of it otherwise unless we stole it.” Alex did his best to remain patient. He knew the main reason Michael was upset was the bondprint and their uncertainty of the strain it was going to place on it.
“So then we steal it.”
“We’re not stealing it. We have enough problems coming our way with the raids,” he sighed. “I’m sorry. Had I known how we’d react to this,” Alex waved at the handprint on his chest, “I wouldn’t have suggested we do it now.”
Michael shook his head, exhaling slowly. “No, it’s not your fault. I didn’t realize it either. Fuck, this sucks.”
“Yeah, it does.” Alex had to wonder, though, if Michael’s apprehension wasn’t just because of the bondprint. The last time Alex had left on a trip for Deep Sky, he’d fallen into a sinkhole to another dimension and nearly died. But Alex was fairly certain there weren’t any other pocket dimensions lying around–at least not in Amarillo, Texas.
Alex felt the hopefulness before Michael said anything and he knew what was coming. “I could go with you.”
“Michael, you lose your cool when you see someone with any piece of alien tech.”
“Because none of them are Oasian. They don’t even know what they have, they just see sparkly shit.” Michael was already working himself into a tizzy, pacing by the coffee table. “Buying and selling this shit on the dark web, no idea of the cultural significance behind it–”
Alex watched him from his perch on the couch, eyebrow lifted and a knowing smile on his face.
Michael met his gaze and stopped, his mind catching up with his actions. “I… maybe see your point.”
“Our secondary objective is to build a rapport with these collectors so that we can repeat business with them if they happen to have more authentic tech.”
“Or you can just take every authentic piece of tech they have the first time you’re there so that there’s no need to go back,” Michael suggested unhelpfully.
Alex made a humming noise in the back of his throat before responding dryly, “And get shot by their private security teams. Because I absolutely love getting shot at, it’s one of my favorite pastimes.”
Michael deflated instantly, his eyes darting down to the shooting injury Alex had gotten on the last raid. “Right. Not that, then.”
“Our tertiary objective after they trust us is to milk them for information about other collectors and product acquisition, which in turn could lead us to–” he held a hand out to Michael expectantly.
“–to other Project Shepard sites,” he mumbled, defeated. “Okay fine. You and your smart strategic brain, always thinking ahead. If you had just gone into music, I wouldn’t have to deal with being out-schemed so much.”
Alex snorted. “I wouldn’t have any discipline if I had.”
“Nah, maybe a little. Our methods would be kinda messy, sure, but–”
“Oh, we’d both be dead,” Alex supplied bluntly. “There’s no way I would’ve been able to deal with you.”
“Hey!” Michael’s mock indignation died down to a smoldering discomfort and Alex held his hand out to him. His husband lay down on the sofa with his head in Alex’s lap and he started to thread his fingers through unruly curls.
“It’s going to be fine, Michael.”
Michael moved his hand softly over the end of Alex’s stump. “That’s what we thought last time and look how that went.”
He sighed, scratching lightly at the other man’s scalp. “I can’t live my life always looking over my shoulder for the next disaster to happen, Michael. Neither of us can.”
“I know,” Michael breathed out so softly, Alex barely heard him. He leaned down and kissed Michael’s brow and they stayed like that for a while, trying to let the comforting touch wash out the melancholy.
— — — —
“Why are you so damn fidgety, Alex?”
Alex grunted and sunk down in his seat a little more, sipping from his coffee to avoid answering the question.
“Jesus, are you pouting right now?” Kyle asked, looking over at him in unrestrained amusement.
“Fuck off, Kyle,” Alex offered lamely.
“Hmm yep, definitely living up to that Guerin namesake now.” Kyle clapped him on the shoulder. “Really proud of you, bud.”
He rubbed a hand through his hair and over his face. “Sorry. It’s… things are weird right now.”
Kyle raised an eyebrow. “You have a fight with the hubby or something?”
“No, practically the opposite. We uh–”
“Let me just stop you right there. I love you, but I don’t need to hear the details of your sex life with Guerin.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “It’s not about sex, you dipshit. He used a handprint on me.”
“He can heal now?” Kyle’s surprise was so loud it nearly startled Alex into spilling his coffee. “Wait, how the hell did you get hurt again?”
“No, I didn’t get hurt, it’s just the handprint. You know when Max healed you and you could feel his emotions?”
Kyle’s brow furrowed. “Not really. I don’t think that happened with us, but I remember Liz mentioning it when Max healed her.” He looked over at Alex. “So it’s just a way to share feelings?”
“That’s all we can tell so far. But it’s associated with the healing power since one is always left behind when they use it; we’re just trying to figure out the correlation.”
“So the reason you’re sulking is because you and Michael are in your feels about being separated from each other?” Kyle smirked.
“I fucking hate you.”
“No, no, I understand now. You’re confused by Michael’s emotions. You love me.”
“I’m actually going to beat you over the head with my leg,” Alex groaned.
“Hmm, see I’m still getting Michael from that.” Kyle shook his head. “You need to figure out how to just be Alex again.”
Even though Kyle was kidding, it did give Alex a theory. There might be a way to block out the emotional bleeding and that’s why Kyle didn’t have a touchy-feely bonding sesh with Max. It would make sense that Liz and Max, just like Alex and Michael, wouldn’t find it necessary to hide their emotions from each other. So if it was happening subconsciously, that meant it was possible to accomplish at will. He tugged out his notepad and jotted down the new insight.
“You were being an idiot, but you did give me an idea. Thanks.”
Kyle nodded. “You can pay me back by taking over. Your turn to drive.”
—
Alex’s first question about proximity had been answered soon enough. Even as they were arriving in Amarillo, he could still feel Michael’s displeasure just as easily as if he was standing next to him to say goodbye.
AG: We’re here. I’ll call you later after our meeting.
MG: Ok love you
AG: Love you too, Michael.
He felt some of the worry ease, but none of the agitation. Alex thought about suggesting that he go visit Isobel, but he knew Michael would just brush it off. It didn’t feel right that Alex had company right now and Michael was alone, though.
“Kyle,” Alex drew his name out and Kyle narrowed his eyes. “No, just… could you subtly hint to Isobel that she should go spend some time with Michael while we’re both gone? Y’know, sibling bonding time or something?”
“Oh yeah, sure.” Kyle pulled out his phone and tapped out a text to Isobel and when he set his phone face-up on the table, Alex physically cringed at what he read.
“What the fuck, Kyle? I said subtle!”
Kyle just scoffed at him. “She’s not stupid, Alex. She would immediately be suspicious if I even tried. Better to go with honesty.” When Kyle’s phone pinged back, he said, “There, see?”
Isobel: I should have thought of that. I’ll head over there now. Thanks babe.
Alex pretended to be annoyed, but he was glad that Isobel understood why Michael could use the company during Alex’s first trip away. He wasn’t sure if Michael would graciously accept her companionship, but at least it was an effort.
When they’d finished eating, they headed to the hotel to check in and took time to decompress and go over the plan before their meetup with the collector. This Álvarez was well respected, extremely wealthy, and from what they could gather from their sources–a huge asshole. All the more reason that having Michael there would’ve been a mistake. Even Kyle was going to be difficult to keep reined in; he wasn’t exactly trained for this line of work.
“Just try not to let him bait you,” Alex dropped a file down on the coffee table and scrubbed a hand over his face. He needed to go take a shower soon.
“Excuse me. I am a professional.” Kyle tried to look scandalized.
“You put my father in a coma.”
“He tried to kill me!” Kyle had a point there, but Alex was unfazed.
“You stabbed him in the neck. He had a stroke.” He raised a hand when Kyle opened his mouth to argue. “You weren’t wrong to do it. Far from it. The point being that you can’t let this guy needle you into any emotional reactions. Deep Sky has no idea how much influence Álvarez really has, so he might be able to press on some bruises that haven’t quite healed.”
While in the shower, Alex smiled at the exasperated fondness he felt coming from Michael. Isobel must have descended upon her sibling with her usual flair and Alex could only hope he let her stay around for the duration of Alex’s time away. He doubted it, but a husband could dream.
Before they left, they tested the recording devices to make sure everything was in working order and hidden from view in cufflinks or jacket buttons. There was a decent chance that Álvarez had scrambling devices in his home, but with separate video and audio recordings, they might get away with at least one making it out unscathed.
The Álvarez mansion was just as ostentatious as expected and the security detail was a presence that made Alex’s hands itch. He squeezed Kyle’s shoulder to reassure him and to ground his own mind when they entered through the lavish entranceway. A guard led them through to the gallery and told them to wait. Nothing on display here was alien in nature–though the paintings and artifacts were certainly illegal for private ownership.
Kyle whistled under his breath.
"Yeah, just… keep focused on the goal," Alex gritted.
“You’re the boss,” Kyle dismissed him. Alex wouldn’t take it personally considering the circumstances. There was enough appropriation in this hall to piss off all of his friends and then some. But Alex needed to keep his grievances in check, not only for the mission, but to stop Michael from worrying that something was going wrong.
He focused on Álvarez when the man finally entered the room, cutting an impressive figure despite his shorter stature. He was all devilish smiles as he strode up to them and Alex held out a hand, which the other man shook before taking Kyle’s as well.
“Nice to finally meet you, Mr. Álvarez. This is Dr. Kyle Valenti and I’m–”
“Former U.S. Air Force Captain Alexander Manes. Now… Alex Guerin?” The way he rattled off Alex’s name and rank only solidified what Alex had expected–the man had connections to intelligence in some form or another.
“Yes, that’s correct, sir.”
“Congratulations on your recent nuptials. It’s so nice that your people are allowed to get married now,” the man said with a dismissive air that made Alex clench his fists.
“My… people. Native Americans?” Alex challenged, his back straightening a little more.
Álvarez barrelled on like Alex hadn’t said a word. “You won’t mind that I took the liberty of checking into you both. I think you’re aware that in my line of work one can't be too careful." He gestured around the room.
"Collecting art?" Kyle suggested and Alex glared at him when Álvarez wasn’t looking.
But he just laughed when he turned back around. “Boys,” he gave them a patronizing look that made both Alex and Kyle rankle. “Let’s cut to the chase.” Álvarez waved for them to follow to a nondescript door at the end of the long hall that required a handprint and eye scan to enter. It had a similar setup as the previous gallery hall, just with more exclusionary items on display. Namely alien artifacts and government relics no man should have access to. Alex bit the inside of his cheek.
“Impressive,” Kyle said, probably to keep himself from saying something inappropriate like ‘what the fuck’. Alex was proud of his restraint.
“Thank you, Dr. Valenti. I’ve been curating this collection for quite a while. I’m proud of it, but there are new pieces I’d like to add and I don’t have the space for them, as you can see.” Álvarez gestured around the room.
“Our agreement is for Item 54, but would you mind us taking a look around?” Alex asked. “Just curiosity, of course. We didn’t realize your collection was quite this vast.”
Álvarez narrowed his eyes, but the look morphed into amusement just as quickly. “Already plotting for future investments, Captain Manes?”
“I’m no longer Air Force, and it’s Guerin,” he said, a little too harshly. “But you have the measure of me. Once a businessman, always a businessman.”
The curator let out a guffaw. “Of course, take a look. I’ll have my assistant prepare 54 and my men will stay with you while you peruse.” Not a threat, just a statement of fact. Alex nodded as the man swept out of the room and Kyle sidled up to him.
“Not here,” Alex warned under his breath. He took stock of the pieces on display. They already knew that what they were buying was authentic, but Álvarez had two other pieces of Oasian glass there as well. A few things were obvious fakes, but some objects were evocative of the Lockhart machine and gave Alex pause. Could be they were built by humans in an attempt to replicate, could be they were made by other Oasians, but there was still that very slim chance…
Kyle squeezed his forearm, an indication that he saw the same thing Alex did. They’d have to stay in Álvarez’s good graces if they wanted those pieces. He was looking forward to more thinly veiled homophobia in the future. Still, if his past military ties helped keep the collector comfortable, he was more than happy to exploit it. He had a feeling that Álvarez knew his family name too, which was unsettling. It gave credence to their theories of Project Shepard selling off alien tech for monetary resources, though.
Alex was pleased when they put the Álvarez mansion in the rearview mirror. They stopped halfway to the hotel and ditched the container that they’d been given to hold the tech, swept the object and their persons for any planted bugs or trackers, then swapped cars before continuing the rest of the way. They didn’t talk again until they were inside Alex’s hotel room where he’d set up a white noise machine to drown out their conversations from any prying ears. His paranoia was probably higher than warranted, but he wouldn’t take any chances.
“I need a shower after talking to that prick.” Kyle slowly unhooked his recording devices from his clothing to hand over to Alex. “How deep do you think he is?”
“He has ties to the military installments,” Alex packed up their devices to analyze later, “but he doesn’t know the difference between the real and fake tech. I think he had contact with my dad at some point since he seemed eerily attached to the Manes name.”
Kyle rolled up his sleeves and sat down on the chair across from Alex. “Do you think that’s going to help or hinder us in the future?”
“Little from column A, little from column B,” Alex offered. “I think he agreed to the sale because of who I was and wanted to take his measure of me before he decided to continue business down the road.”
“You don’t think the blatant homophobia is going to be a problem?”
Alex shook his head. “He knew I was gay before he took the deal. He wanted to make remarks to see how I would react. It went fine. I’m mostly interested in the pieces–”
“–that looked like they were made by Nora, yeah. I figured.” Kyle tapped his fingertips together on both hands. “You think it’s something like the Lockhart machine?”
“No way of knowing just by seeing them. We can’t even verify they were made by her, which is why we can’t mention it to Michael. He’d go ballistic.” Alex sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. Was it keeping a secret when he had no idea if the pieces were, in fact, something Nora had made? Fuck.
Kyle held up his hands. “I’m not saying shit. That moral quandary is all on you.”
Alex gave him the finger and Kyle just laughed.
—
Alex’s contentment was palpable when he was able to remove his prosthesis and lie down in the hotel bed later. Enough so that his phone started to ring, revealing Michael’s ability to feel it too. “Hey.”
“Figured you were about to call, judging by the sudden comfort.” Michael’s voice was soft. “How’d it go?”
“Uh, no big surprises, Kyle didn’t die, so overall mission success,” Alex tried for brevity.
Michael wasn’t impressed. “You were pissed about something. It was extremely obvious.”
Alex shrugged even though Michael couldn’t see. “It wasn’t directly related to the acquisition.”
“Right. Just indirectly,” Michael’s tone was flat.
“I can’t tell you over the phone, Michael,” Alex sighed. He was genuinely sorry, but he didn’t trust it.
“Yeah, okay. I get it.” He did, Alex could feel it. “So I got an unwelcome visit from Isobel today. Know anything about that?” He sounded amused.
“Why would I?” Alex asked in mock-confusion. “Why’s her visit unwelcome, though?”
“I don’t need a babysitter, Alex.”
“Who said anything about a babysitter? Since when is spending quality time with your sister a bad thing?” He tried to keep his voice neutral.
“You were trying to distract me from the bond. And…” Michael couldn’t even say it. That wasn’t a good sign.
“I suppose she’s gone, then?” Alex asked, redirecting the conversation.
“I kicked her out an hour ago. She was trying to braid my hair.” Despite his annoyance, he still felt fond of the time with his sister. Alex would call it a success. “Thanks for calling her,” he added quietly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never contacted her.”
“Of course. Valenti thought of it all on his own.”
“He’s a real doll, that Kyle,” Alex tried to say without laughing and failed miserably.
Michael laughed too. “You’re an idiot.”
“So Kyle said that he didn’t share any emotions with Max whenever they were connected.”
Michael groaned. “You told Valenti?”
“It wasn’t a secret. And he said I was sulking and wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to get him off my back.”
“Miss me that much, huh?” Michael teased, sounding more upbeat already.
Alex snuggled further into the blankets. “Because your consistent angst is so different.”
“It’s really hard.” Michael blew out a long breath.
“I’m sorry.”
“Right, so what were you saying?” Michael sidestepped the apology, which was fair seeing as it wasn’t anyone’s fault.
“Well, it seems like there’s a way to open and close the flow, if that’s anything to go by. It was probably subconscious, but there’s gotta be a way to do it like, manually.”
“Is that even important in the long run?” Michael’s trepidation was full force. Alex had some idea as to why.
“I don’t want to close it, baby,” Alex assuaged and Michael calmed again. “My thoughts are that the more control you have over the flow, the more control you have over the print itself.”
“Like working out a muscle. The more I flex it, the easier it will be to use it,” Michael agreed. “Makes sense. But if it’s possible to close it, what the hell is the point of it being there in the first place? Seems to defeat the purpose.”
“It’s probably not meant to be completely shuttered or completely open, just used as a relief valve of some sort. Or an early warning detection system?” Considering these powers evolved on a planet full of Oasians, there was a good chance things worked differently between them than they did between a human-Oasian pair. “There could also be uh… biological interference that’s making it more complicated than it was originally meant to be.”
“Shit, you’re right. It evolved because of the differences in biology. Which means your thoughts could be correct.” Michael was excited as he ran through the theories in his head and it made Alex grin. He placed a hand over the mark on his chest while he listened to Michael talk. “It might be just as simple as a baby monitor of sorts, to keep an eye out for any irregularities after the healing process.”
“But there were enough similarities in biology that it turned out more like a telephone?” Alex mused.
“Exactly. So Max might have inadvertently been using the baby monitoring feature with Kyle because they aren’t as close as him and Liz.”
Alex laughed. “That sounds so fucking weird and yet makes total sense.”
“Our lives are weird,” Michael agreed as Alex yawned. “You should go to sleep. I’ll stay up for a bit to make it easier for you. I’ll try closing it and see what happens.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Night, Alex.”
“Goodnight.”
— — — —
Alex slept surprisingly well considering how it had been going for him recently. When he checked his phone he realized it was morning and he shot up in the bed, confusion overtaking him. How had he slept so well? Did Michael stay up all night? Come to think of it, he didn’t feel much of anything from Michael right then. He rubbed at his chest, looking down at the shimmering print just to reassure himself that it was still there, then called Michael.
It rang multiple times before rolling over to voicemail. He must have passed out really late and either wasn’t dreaming much or he really had managed to close the bond. Would he have left it closed, though? As anxious as he had felt when Alex had mentioned even the possibility of closing it, that seemed highly unlikely. Something just didn’t sit right in the pit of his stomach.
Alex made quick work of getting ready and packing up his things, before he banged thoughtlessly on Kyle’s door. The doctor was awake, though he was half dressed and looked concerned when he answered. “What’s wrong?”
“Let’s go. Something’s up.”
To his credit, Kyle didn’t ask any questions, just followed the directive. They were checked out and on the road in the next ten minutes. Alex was tapping the steering wheel nervously when they hit the highway.
“Wanna let me in on the situation?”
“I can’t feel Michael,” Alex started out evenly but his words became more erratic the longer he spoke. “We were talking last night about it being possible to close the bond and he said he might practice, but there’s no fucking way he would’ve left it closed. He was practically jumping out of his skin at the idea of it.”
Kyle placed his hand on Alex’s arm. “Take a breath, Alex.” He waited until the other man did before continuing. “Couldn’t he just be asleep?”
“I mean, maybe. But we had a really fucked up time sleeping the first night because our emotions still bled into each other’s dreams and eventually we started trading off sleep to make it easier. So he’d have to be hard fucking passed out to not be dreaming much.”
Kyle looked appalled. “Ignoring how bad that is for both your healths, there is still a chance that he is just that tired, Alex. You could be working yourself up over nothing.”
“Rationality doesn’t come easy with this thing.” He tapped his chest. “It makes everything feel stupidly potent.”
“Wanna give it an hour and then call Iz if there’s no change?”
“Yeah.”
—
Nothing had changed after they drove for an hour, so they pulled over and swapped seats so Kyle could drive since Alex was a nervous wreck. Kyle asked Isobel to go check on Michael and about twenty minutes later Alex’s phone lit up.
“Hello, dear brother-in-law,” Isobel sang over the car speaker in mock cheerfullness. “Were you and my brother experimenting with untested alien powers unsupervised?”
Alex groaned. “Isobel, this isn’t a secured line–”
“Not important right now, Alex,” she snapped.
“What’s happened?”
“Oh, aside from the wreckage of your house?” Alex had no idea what that meant, but it couldn’t be so bad if there were no emergency vehicles to contend with. He could deal with that later. “Michael is curled in the fetal position on the bathroom floor staring blankly at the wall.”
Alex felt his stomach sink into the floorboards. “What… is he–”
“Yes, of course he’s alive, but he looks damn near catatonic! What the hell were you two thinking? What did you even do, Alex?”
“Oh god.” Alex’s chest was so tight he could hardly breathe. Was it his fault for suggesting that Michael practice trying to close the connection? But why would that cause something physically extreme like this to happen? Max had a closed bond with Kyle and nothing like this had occurred. Maybe their relief valve theory had been completely wrong and it was meant to be a logic AND gate only.
“If he really is catatonic, we can pull him out of it,” Kyle spoke up. “Iz, you need to shock him.”
“You want me to electrocute him?” she asked incredulously.
“No! Absolutely not.” Kyle eyed Alex helplessly. “Do you have something that she could shock him with?”
“Um…” The question pulled Alex from his spiraling thoughts. “I have a stun gun in the gun safe.”
“Probably going to be overkill, but better than trying to rig something up and risking actual electrocution. Isobel, get it from the safe and use it on the back of his calf.”
“Ugh, he’s gonna be so pissed at me. Alex, you owe me big time.”
“I’m so sorry, Iz. We didn’t know.”
The only noise for a few minutes was Isobel shifting through the house and the tires on the road as they drove. Alex felt like his heart was going to fail at any moment. How had things gotten so bad in only a few hours? Why did Isobel say the house was a wreck? None of it made any sense.
“Okay, here goes,” Isobel said and Alex held his breath.
There was a loud yelp followed by, “What the fuck, Iz?” and Alex started to cry and laugh all at once. Kyle grinned at him, patting his leg reassuringly.
“That’s better,” she cooed. “Hurry home, boys. You’re in so much trouble.”
“Wait, what did I–” Kyle started, but she hung up on them. “Thanks a lot, Alex.”
Alex was too relieved to give a damn.
—
Kyle drove them the rest of the way home, which was just as well because Alex wouldn’t have been able to concentrate properly anyway. Michael texted and said that he was sorry, but wouldn’t explain further until Alex got home. Even though he was fully conscious again, Alex still couldn’t feel him through the bond like before. It was like being an incomplete person.
Michael was standing outside the house when Kyle pulled into the driveway and Alex could hardly get his car door open before his husband had shoved his hand up Alex’s shirt and pressed his hand back over the bondprint on his chest. It was coming up for air after being underwater too long. The floodgates opened and they both gasped in unison as all the relief-worry-desperation crashed back and forth in tidalwaves.
Alex grabbed his face between his hands. “Jesus, Michael, what happened?”
“I tried closing it like we talked about and then it wouldn’t open again. I couldn’t get it open no matter what I tried. Fuck Alex, it was hell.” He wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist and buried his face into his neck and Alex could feel tears against his skin.
“I never should have told you to try that,” he whispered against Michael’s curls.
Michael shook his head, but he didn’t say anything, just breathed against Alex’s shoulder while Alex ran his fingers through his hair. When they’d both calmed some, Michael helped Alex out of the car and walked him inside. The first thing Alex felt from Michael was shame, which made sense once he saw the state of their house.
“Holy hell…” Alex’s eyes were wide as he took in the disaster that had once been a generally tidy space. The furniture was in complete chaos–knocked over and misplaced, some pieces missing legs or splintered down the middle like it’d been struck by lightning. The sofa cushions were torn and stuffing was littered across the rooms while pots, pans, and other items from the kitchen were scattered through the living room and down the hallway. There were broken dishes and what appeared to be exploded light bulbs shattered all around. Stranger still was that Alex’s clothes were strewn around in the mix as well, trailing down the hall from the bedroom like breadcrumbs. “Um…”
“Oh good, you’re back!” Isobel appeared from their bedroom and gave Alex a quick hug. He was still too astonished to respond. “I’m going to leave whatever this is for you two to sort out and we’ll talk about your stupidity tomorrow. Kyle left your bags by the door, Alex.”
The front door closed before he’d even fully registered that Isobel had spoken to him. “Michael, what exactly did you do?”
“I lost it.” He scrubbed his hand through his hair roughly. “At first I was just angry with myself when I couldn’t figure out how to get the bond open again. I figured I was just being stupid and needed to concentrate harder or something but after an hour I started panicking.” Michael was still holding Alex’s hand and he squeezed it tightly. “It-it felt like something was sitting on my chest and I could barely breathe. I could feel you missing from inside me, like I’d had you scooped out of me. It hurt so fucking bad.”
Alex lifted his hand to Michael’s face. “Why didn’t you call me? Maybe I could’ve fixed it on my end.”
“By that point I was so completely manic I couldn’t think straight. I grabbed your clothes to see if smelling them would trigger it back open for me. I… don’t really remember doing most of this.” He gestured around vaguely.
“Okay.” Alex tugged at Michael’s hand, pulling him back toward the bedroom, weaving his way as carefully as he could manage through the carnage.
“What do you mean, ‘okay’? I trashed our fucking home, Alex!” Despite his incredulity, Michael followed Alex obediently like a puppy.
The bedroom was blissfully intact (aside from Alex’s tornado of clothing). He closed the door behind them and began unbuttoning Michael’s shirt without another word. Michael was blatantly staring at him as Alex pushed the fabric over his shoulders and onto the floor. When Alex pulled his own shirt off, Michael’s hand automatically covered the mark on his chest, making him smile.
He tugged Michael closer to the bed, then started unhooking the belt on Michael’s jeans. His husband finally caught on and undid the snap of Alex’s jeans at the same time, both of them pulling zippers and tugging denim over hips with practiced ease. Michael helped Alex remove his prosthesis, carefully unrolling the liner and setting it aside with the rest of their discarded clothes.
When they were both on the bed, all naked limbs tangled together, Alex caressed the side of Michael’s face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
“It’s not your fault, Alex. We didn’t know what would happen. We were woefully underprepared.”
“No shit,” Alex gave a contemptuous laugh.
Michael moved a hand to Alex’s face, slowly tracing his thumb over his husband’s lips. “None of that.”
Alex kissed the pad of his thumb. “Okay,” he said softly.
“Neither of us was wrong about it, I just couldn’t manage to pull it back open with you being that far away, I don’t think.” He kissed Alex’s forehead. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t tell me to do it, I made the decision to try it on my own.”
Alex frowned. “I’m the one who brought it up in the first place.”
“Doesn’t make a difference, sweetheart. Stop trying to create fault where there is none.”
“Okay,” Alex said again. “I’m sorry Isobel used the stun gun on you. Maybe touching the mark would’ve pulled you out of it, but… we didn’t want to leave you that way for two more hours.”
“Considering how worried she was about the state of me, it was probably fitting payback.” Michael laughed softly, tracing his fingertips down the edge of Alex’s cheekbone. “She’s so fucking pissed at us.”
“She might have alluded to that once or twice. Apparently we need supervision,” Alex grinned.
“Well that’s nothing new.” Michael carded fingers through Alex’s hair. “So what happened in Amarillo that pissed you off?”
Alex’s face fell at the abrupt subject change. He knew Michael wasn’t going to drop it. “The guy had a lot of illegally appropriated art outside of just the alien stuff. I hadn’t really prepared for that, I guess. He’s a homophobe–not a huge surprise–but he respects business more so he kept the comments to a minimum. Mostly he wanted to test my temperament when he said anything.”
Michael’s arm around his waist tightened and Alex could feel the anger rolling off him. He started brushing his fingers up and down Michael’s neck to try and distract him.
“He knew my dad in some capacity or another; I’m assuming it’s where he got some of the tech from. He’s not actually involved in any of the operations, but he has had contact with them in the past. He’s only got a couple more pieces of glass that are authentic. I haven’t had a chance to review the viability of our recordings, but if the video is there I can show you what else he had.” Some of it, anyway.
“And you think it’s worth putting up with him when he might not even have more information to give?” Michael’s jaw was tight and Alex ran his fingers across it, forcing him to ease off.
“Yes,” Alex said simply.
“I don’t like it.”
“Oh, I can tell,” Alex teased, making Michael laugh despite himself. Alex fit his lips over that smile and drew Michael closer by the back of the neck. Kissing Michael had felt monumental even from that first time in their teens; Alex would happily lose himself in it for hours if he could. But it hit differently when they had the bond flowing back and forth between them, because it was far more than just the physical he could feel from the act right then.
The touch of Michael’s tongue across his bottom lip was a provocation and a promise. Alex opening for him and inviting him in was its own vow and when their tongues met, it felt like they were floating through stardust. Alex gripped the back of Michael’s hair tightly to prevent himself from drifting away–it seemed like a real possibility just then. He never wanted to pull away and yet he felt like he was going to run out of oxygen out here among the stars if he didn’t.
“How?” Alex breathed across Michael’s face, their foreheads pressed hard together.
“I don’t know, but I’m never taking that thing off you again.”
Alex chuckled softly. “After what happened last night?”
“What even happened? I don’t remember now.” Michael cradled Alex’s face between his hands and kissed him again; Alex couldn’t find it in him to complain. He pushed against his husband so that he rolled onto his back, taking Alex with him on top. Michael helped him redistribute his weight before Alex removed the hand from his hip, lacing their fingers together and holding it to the bed above Michael’s head.
Alex only stopped kissing Michael’s mouth this time so that he could place a constellation of open mouth kisses along his jaw, neck, and collarbone. His husband was clutching to the back of his head like a tether, moaning out Alex’s name when he pushed his hips up. Alex could see the nova on the backs of his eyelids when they came together and he groaned, pushing harder into it himself.
“Are you gonna fuck me, Alex?” Michael tried to tease, but he already sounded half-gone.
“We aren’t gonna make it to that.” Best to be realistic about what was actually happening here–they were going to hump each other like teenagers and it was going to blow them away. Neither of them seemed to care because they just kept thrusting, mouths slamming together sloppily. Gravity was pulling them into one another with each movement; they were on a collision course with the only means of stopping being the inevitable explosion when they crashed.
Michael gasped into his mouth first followed by Alex not long after, stars bursting in the back of his head as he came. Alex rested his head on Michael’s shoulder, breathing heavily, while his brain tried to catch up with the rest of him. Michael wrapped his arms around his waist and held him close while they came down.
“Pretty sure we could manage more than that when we were seventeen,” Michael said and Alex snorted.
“Pretty sure it never felt like that when we were seventeen,” he countered.
“I can’t believe we’ve been missing out on the fuckprint this whole damn time.”
“Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what it’s for,” Alex rolled his eyes, scooting back to rest his chin on his arm over Michael’s chest so he could see his face.
“There’s certainly no other purpose it could serve.”
“Fucking always trumps emotional bonding,” Alex agreed sarcastically.
“We have the best track record with it.” Alex pinched his nipple making Michael laugh. “I’m kidding!”
He nuzzled his nose against Michael’s jaw and Michael slowly moved his hand up and down the length of his spine, making him hum in the back of his throat. “I’d say we’ve figured out a lot about it, though, even if it was disastrous.”
“Definitely. You’re my new favorite research partner.”
Alex shook his head. “We’re not calling sex ‘research’, Michael.”
“I think it’s necessary considering our new findings. In fact, this is going to require more thorough testing…”
Title: Hopeful Hands
W/C: 2356
Summary: Alex wants to keep searching for Project Shepard facilities but he's still as reckless as ever.
A/N: Part 2 of Marriage Ain’t Easy, Major Character Injury
[ AO3 Link or read under the cut ]
Kyle and Bonnie came flying around the corner of the hallway where Michael was trying to pack up what little of the alien tech he could fit into the bag he’d brought. It would never be enough–he wanted it all out of their hands, but they didn’t have the time or manpower. They hadn’t expected to run into any opposition out here.
“Where's Alex?” he asked as soon as he saw them.
Kyle skidded to a halt, looking behind them in bewilderment. “Wha–he was right behind us a second ago. He shot one of them and then Bonnie locked the rest behind a blast door, but we don’t know how long it’s going to hold.”
“Goddammit. Finish this, I’ll get him.” Michael shoved the bag into Bonnie’s hands and went back the way they had come from.
Michael found Alex sitting at a computer, obviously trying to get as much information as he could from their database. They hadn’t been able to get deep enough into the facility to reach the actual server room, so he was trying to remote in from a workstation. “Whatcha doing there, soldier?” he asked casually, walking up behind him.
“Trying to make this trip worth a damn,” he replied without looking back at Michael.
“I know it’s not what you wanted to get, but we need to leave before we all get shot at again.” He was doing his very best not to yell at Alex that he was being ridiculous.
Alex’s words were clipped. “Just give me a minute, Guerin.”
“Don’t you ‘Guerin’ me, Manes.” It was an unscrupulous attack, Michael knew. He could see it in the cold fury that Alex directed at him now when he finally met Michael’s gaze. He’d have to pay for it later when the risks to their lives were far fewer.
Alex turned his attention back to the screen without saying a word. Michael could see he was downloading to an external drive, but there were still muffled noises coming from other areas of the complex and he wasn’t sure they’d have time for it to finish.
A few tense minutes ticked by where they both remained silent, yet there was something about Alex’s demeanor (aside from being royally pissed at Michael) that didn’t sit right. He was breathing heavier than usual and listing a little to the left. The warning bells started to go off in Michael’s head and he grasped Alex’s shoulders, spinning his chair around.
Michael dropped to his knees in front of the other man. “You were shot?”
“I’m handling it,” Alex said steadily, because of course he could keep his composure at a time like this.
“You’re handling being shot?” Michael whined, reaching up toward Alex with shaking hands. Every time he felt like he was getting his life in order, something else started spiraling out of his control.
“Michael,” Alex said in a low voice and Michael could hear the slight quiver it held. Fuck, how long had he been bleeding? How bad was it? “I need you to calm down and get your shit together.”
He sucked in a shaky breath and looked at Alex’s face instead of his wound. “How?”
“You need to go find Kyle–”
“Fuck that, I’m not leave–”
Alex forcefully cut over him. “Go get Kyle. I can’t move without losing more blood than I can spare right now. He’ll have something to stabilize me.”
Michael looked over to the barricaded hallway and then back at Alex. “What if they get through?” he asked weakly.
Alex glanced at the desk where his gun sat and back to Michael. “I’ll handle that too. Go.”
Michael had never run so fast in his fucking life.
----
“This is so much easier when it’s you in the bed,” Kyle muttered and side-stepped Michael as he checked on Alex’s vitals.
“Shut it, Valenti.” Sadly, it lacked his usual bite. He was exhausted and too worried about Alex to do anything but hover uselessly while Kyle took care of his husband. Where was sanctimonious Max when he needed him? Right–off attempting to save a fucking planet. Prick.
Why couldn’t he tap into his dickhead dad’s healing powers already? After Max left and it had become apparent that Alex had no intention of stopping the search for the other Project Shepard facilities, Michael had been trying to access the healing. He wasn’t upset that Alex didn’t want to stop searching (quite the opposite), but without Max around they needed someone who could fill in the gap. That person was supposed to be Michael, yet it felt like he had some mental block keeping him from gaining access to that ability.
Fuck, it sucked. Having to watch as Valenti shoved staples into Alex’s skin to close the tattered holes left from the bullet impact was gut-wrenching. Alex survived losing half a leg in Iraq just to get shot trying to help Michael back in Roswell. If that wasn’t the worst kind of irony, he didn’t know what was.
Kyle held his hands up in placation. “I just mean that there’s nothing to be done right now. Surgery went well, he’s completely stable. Nothing vital was injured–”
“Nothing vital?” Michael growled, indicating the entirety of Alex lying in the bed.
Kyle’s eyes closed and he took a deep breath before allowing himself to respond. His voice held the same cadence. “Vital organs that he needs in order for his body to continue functioning properly, Michael. It went through cleanly, which from a medical perspective, is the best we could have hoped for.”
“I’d say the best we could have hoped for was no one getting shot,” Michael mumbled, but he knew what Kyle meant. He didn’t have the energy to start a fight with him over nothing right now.
Kyle nodded and squeezed his bicep. “You need to get some rest.”
“I can’t.” Michael scrubbed a hand over his face and through the disarray of curls. He plopped down heavily in the chair and groaned in annoyance when Kyle left the room, graciously not prodding him further.
He must have zoned out for a while because he jerked when a knock sounded at the door. Bonnie stepped quietly over to him, leaning against the wall near his chair. “How’s he doing?”
“Valenti says it’s the best outcome it could be. Just waiting for him to wake up.”
She touched his shoulder lightly. “How are you doing?”
“Feel like shit,” he admitted. “I shouldn’t have left him alone.”
Bonnie was quiet for a bit. “So far, he hasn’t struck me as the type to suffer hovering.”
Michael snorted. “You’re not wrong about that.”
“We had no idea, Michael. He didn’t so much as flinch.”
“Oh, I’m sure. It’s not really his style.” He glanced sideways up at her. “I don’t blame you guys.”
Bonnie squeezed his shoulder and stepped away. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Bonnie.” Michael dragged the chair to the side of the bed so he could lie his head down on his folded arms while he waited. Eventually he drifted into a fitful sleep in which Alex was bleeding all over the ground and Michael was attempting to heal the wound but his hands just kept uselessly slipping through the wetness.
He woke up to Alex running his fingers through his hair and shushing him, so he must’ve been making some sort of noise. Michael took his hand between his own and kissed it. “Hey, you,” he said far more calmly than he actually felt.
“Hey.” Alex smiled weakly and fidgeted uncomfortably in the bed. “Ugh, I feel like I got shot.”
Michael let out a choked sob and his hands started to shake. “That’s not fucking funny, Alex.”
“It’s a little funny.” Alex used his free hand to cup Michael’s face and push through his curls. “I’m alright.”
“You don’t know that. How could you possibly know that?”
“Because I trust Kyle. And I trust you. I knew you’d get us out of there and I knew he would patch me up.”
Michael shook his head, kissing Alex’s hand again. “You could have died.”
Alex hummed. “I’m a little tougher than that.”
“Stubborn, more-like,” Michael muttered and Alex laughed.
“Yeah, that too. I wasn’t going to leave you, Michael.”
Michael just nodded. “I know you wouldn’t.”
----
It wasn’t a huge surprise that Alex forced his way out of Deep Sky as quickly as he could, regardless of Kyle’s requests for him to stay a little longer. “I’ve been shot at before, Kyle. I know how it works.”
That didn’t put Michael at ease, but there wasn’t a lot he could say to dissuade Alex once he’d set his mind to something, like the recent data recovery. Alex had actually made Michael wait at the computer for the download to finish while Kyle and Bonnie took him from the facility. Michael realized later that it was to keep him grounded on a task that wasn’t visually agonizing over Alex’s well-being, though he also hadn’t wanted to waste the opportunity to get the data.
Even upon arriving at home, Alex had wanted to get to work decoding the data right away.
“You could also maybe, I dunno, take it a little easy,” Michael suggested sarcastically. “After being shot and all.”
“That doesn’t sound like me at all.” Alex settled on the couch, leaving the crutches nearby as he pulled his laptop bag toward him.
Michael sat down on the coffee table and put his hand over the other man’s to stop him. “Alex, about what I said…”
Alex’s face pinched up and he removed his hand from the bag and leaned back into the couch with a sigh. Michael could tell by the range of emotions flitting over his husband’s face that he knew what Michael was talking about. “Has it really been bothering you?” he ventured.
“Hasn’t it been bothering you?” Michael put his hand on Alex’s knee, looking incredulous. “You were pissed, Alex.”
“I mean, yeah, I was. I was also frustrated and partially delirious and I’d just snapped at you too, Michael.” Alex seemed like he was explaining away Michael’s actions and he didn’t like that.
“You were bleeding out!”
“You had no way of knowing that at the time.”
“Why are you making excuses for me?”
Alex placed his hand over Michael’s. “I’m not, but I’m not blameless either. You’re absolving me because I was injured.”
“It’s a pretty good fucking excuse, Alex.”
Alex shook his head. “What I should have done was tell you immediately. Instead I was deflecting because I didn’t want you to freak out about it.”
“Fat chance,” Michael laughed derisively.
“Hey,” Alex squeezed his hand, then lifted his other to cup Michael’s cheek. “Don’t do that. I don’t expect you to remain collected in stressful situations like that. Few people can. That isn’t a character flaw. It shows you have a beautiful soul.” Alex’s thumb brushed along Michael’s cheekbone and he turned his face into his husband’s palm, sighing heavily.
“I’m sorry for calling you Manes like that.” Michael still slipped up sometimes–it was only natural since Alex had been Manes to him for as long as he’d known him–but they both knew that had been deliberate.
“I know you are. I shouldn’t have called you Guerin like that, either.” Alex didn’t call him Guerin much anymore unless he was beyond frustrated or just kidding around. It was obvious which situation this had been. “I’m sorry too.”
Michael leaned in to kiss him, something slow and cautious even though Alex had already told him he hadn’t been shot in the face and “My mouth works just fine, Michael.”
When he pulled back, Alex rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. Michael frowned at him. “If I had these healing powers figured out, I could’ve saved you from having a stapler shoved into your skin.”
“Alien powers aren’t just a magic eraser, you know. We can’t just expect to have a power to fix every problem we run into.”
“This is a pretty fucking important one. Quite a few of us wouldn’t be here without Max’s help.”
Alex looked down at Michael’s left hand, rubbing his fingers over the smooth skin. “It’s not your job to replace Max, Michael. I know Jones was your dad, but how do we know that all of the powers are hereditary? And what if something from Nora negates part of the powers he had?” Alex could probably tell that Michael had a rebuttal because he kept talking. “I’m just saying, I don’t want you to set your expectations too high and crush yourself because you can’t achieve something that might not even be possible.”
He knew that Alex was right. There was a chance he might never be able to heal, but he also knew that he couldn’t just stop trying. Alex would never stop putting himself into these situations and if there was some way that Michael could make it just a little safer, he’d damn well do it. “Maybe… I need to start at a different level first.”
“How do you mean?”
“I’ve always been trying to go straight to the healing, but the other part that always comes with it is the handprint, right? And how it shares feelings back and forth. Maybe if I can get the print figured out, then the healing will come after.”
Alex tapped Michael’s forehead. “That’s my genius. Good thing you have a willing participant.”
“Oh god,” Michael chuckled. “Are you sure we could survive sharing feelings like that? I’m kind of a lot.”
“You think I don’t already know what’s going on in there, Guerin?” Michael felt oddly breathless when Alex pressed his palm to the center of his chest, as if he could somehow make the print on Michael. Fuck, he already had in all the ways that mattered.
Michael covered Alex’s hand with his own. “I know you do, Guerin.” The smile that spread across Alex’s face at the name was like staring into the face of the sun. He’d never get enough of it.
Alex accidentally becoming the favorite dad in kidfic is basically my favorite thing in the universe. Especially when he is in denial that it is happening while everyone else is pouting about it.
This is from the next part of marriage!verse. I’m not working on anything else at the moment! Also this is completely unedited, so it’s kinda shit.
Michael tried to keep himself busy, but tonight he was too restless and wound up at the Wild Pony trying to drink away his loneliness. He rolled his eyes when Kyle slid into the booth across from him. “Go away, Valenti.” This was not the company he was hoping for.
Kyle had a drink of his own and settled in, completely ignoring Michael’s direction. “We need to talk about Alex and Isobel.”
“I’m not gossiping with you about our significant others. Especially not when one of them is my sister.”
Kyle opened his mouth but then made a face and seemed to change tactics. “You think that stops Isobel gossiping with Alex?”
Michael wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Don’t care, Valenti. Why are you still here?”
“I mean we need to talk about what they are up to,” Kyle picked up his earlier statement.
“What they are up to? Aren’t they shopping or something?” He was fairly certain Alex said they were going to go shopping of some form or another.
Kyle scoffed in disbelief. “You think they are out… shopping? On an extended month-long shopping spree?”
“What the hell are you talking about, Valenti?”
“What the fuck have you been doing, Guerin?” Kyle looked at him like he was an idiot. “Do you even know what’s going on? Isobel and Alex are building something and it’s big.”
“Building? What would they–he wouldn’t even have time. He’s been working on something at work. Aren’t you guys looking for the mole?” Michael was a little worried at how adamant Kyle was. Alex was busy all the time, he wouldn’t have time to do much of anything.
“Guerin, Alex hasn’t been in the office for weeks. Whatever he’s working on, it’s not for Deep Sky.”
Writing kid!fic hadn't been my plan when I fleshed out Project Týr. I wanted them to find a pod and for it to have an alien inside, but I hadn't decided who it would be until halfway through writing it and by then there was no turning back.
I am so excited to see Ava grow as a character, but also to see how Alex and Michael change as they take on these new roles. This situation literally just fell into their laps and while they would never send Ava anywhere else (because they both have that sense of responsibility ingrained in them), they're also scared shitless about taking care of a small person who has unique circumstance all of her own.
It was important to me that the child not be a baby because I wanted there to be an independent personality already developing. I wanted them to be able to have actual conversations with the kid where she would understand them. It could just be personal preference on my part, but it feels more personal that way.
I've got about 11K written right now. I don't actually have a clear-cut ending for it yet. I have some vague scene ideas in place, but it may be a bit of slice-of-life with their new kid because I don't have any huge plots planned, I just wanted to have the family getting to know Ava and vice versa. 🙃
And I have noticed since I had Milo beta for me I am being a little more critical with my editing so a lot of the writing feels off to me and is going to need heavy re-writes 😬
Have some Hobbs and Alex talking in the middle of the night about him being a dad in the marriage!verse kidfic.
“That’s all very admirable,” Hobbs said, ever the realist, “but how do you plan on handling this when your husband just started school and you literally created a clandestine pro-alien, anti-government operation out of your own living room?”
He wasn’t wrong; it was already going to be a challenge to juggle their current lives without adding a child into the mix. That still didn’t change the outcome. “I was hoping my friends and family would help out,” Alex said, eying him pointedly.
Hobbs looked unimpressed. “So after my first mission you expect to make me an uncle just like that?”
Alex shrugged. “It was going to happen eventually.”
“Was it?” Hobbs looked skeptical. “Pretty sure the few times we ever discussed kids you were of the ‘no fucking way in hell’ variety. And I know it wasn’t just because you’re gay.”
“Things change. I was still stuck pretty far up my father’s ass at that point.”
Hobbs raised an eyebrow. “Oh that changed?”
“Fuck you,” Alex shot back, his tone low.
“So the truth is that you and Guerin only talked about this recently. Like after you tied the knot.” It wasn’t a question, but it didn’t need to be. Hobbs knew him well enough by now.
Alex didn’t see the need to respond affirmatively. “It’s not easy, but… obviously I know I’m better off without him. And that the bar to surpass for fatherhood has basically been set on the ground.”
Hobbs stood up from the table and got them both beers from the fridge. He pointed the neck of his bottle at Alex. “Yet you still think you’ll screw some other kid up as much as he did you.”
“Not physically, but yeah.” Alex popped the cap off his bottle against the edge of the table and took a long drink.
“Well you are fucked up, Manes,” Hobbs said unrepentantly, “but that wouldn’t make you a bad dad. And there’s fuck all I think you could manage to do that would churn out a kid like Manes senior.”
“Thanks?”
His friend shrugged. “I know Michael’s already told you this shit; you sure as hell don’t need my validation.”
“I guess not. Your validation isn’t worth shit anyway.” Alex smirked.
“You’re not wrong. Which is why you should rethink letting me around your hellspawn. You know my approach to unclehood would be better suited to the money in a birthday card once a year sort of thing.”
Alex scoffed at that. “Right because your nagging me about my leg all the time just screams ‘I don’t give a fuck about your wellbeing’.”
Post five or so sentences from the section of your current WIP that you are stuck on, and kind readers can reply with guesses as to what will happen next or what they hope will happen next. You don't have to provide any other information unless you want to.
tagged by the lovely @bekkachaos
I am taking a little bit of a break after taking a month to crank out the Holiday AU, but I've been thinking about what comes next in my fics recently. This is from marriage!verse part 6 (KidFic). I have a general outline of what's next, I just need to get it written when my mojo comes back.
“Okay, so we both have things we could teach her,” Michael said, in lieu of going into a slew of other shit just then, “but if you think she’s latched onto you because you’re some unfeeling robot, then you’re an idiot.”
Alex raised his eyebrows. “She hasn’t ‘latched onto me’.”
“So you are an idiot,” Michael deadpanned.
“Fuck you,” Alex huffed, smiling. “It was just a matter of circumstances. If Isobel wasn’t so affected by her powers right now, I doubt Ava would be nearly as interested in me. And Kyle is great with kids, but she has that whole doctor–related PTSD, so…”
“Why are you deflecting so hard against this?” Michael asked, baffled by his husband’s disregard for the breakthroughs he’d already had with Ava so far. If Michael wasn’t able to be useful for his sister, at least his husband had stepped up for him.
“I’m not,” Alex argued instantly, which only made Michael roll his eyes. “I’m being realistic.”