#emoglobin

[encountersltd]

mar 2022

mario menagerie

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Emoglobin

Debut: Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story

Have you ever wondered what’s in your body? It’s a question that has plagued mankind for centuries. There is, of course, no way of knowing for sure. Many have made educated guesses, like Osmosis Jones, or that obligatory cartoon episode where they become really tiny and travel inside someone’s body. But the closest scientists have ever come to an accurate depiction was, as we all know, 2009′s Bowser’s Inside Story! 

Emoglobins are cell-ish blocky things that show up all over Bowser’s body. If you hit them, they’ll give you tutorials! But don’t you worry- these aren’t your grandma’s boring, snoring tutorials: they’re funny tutorials! Emoglobins speak funny, you see! They replace random words with “globin”, add “-ish” to the end of adjectives, and refer to you with an O traveler, that kind of thing. And I can’t get enough of them! They’re just plain silly-ish!

As for what I said earlier... well, ignore that. Emoglobins are in fact based on something real: hemoglobins! Now, I’ve got absolutely no idea what I’m looking at here, but I took this image from Wikipedia, and I’m pretty sure that they look nothing like Emoglobins. They don’t exactly act like them either- these guys live in red blood cells and carry oxygen. But that’s okay! Globin is just a funny sounding word. Can we blame anyone for thinking so?

While that’s the basic Emoglobin covered, there are a number of Globin-ish NPCs found all over the game! So, what else? Under the cut! More Globin! More action! More drama! 

While never actually referred to as a separate type of Globin, the game’s Challenge Node (a fantastic pun, by the way) features these guys! They look like a Nintendo DS. Which is funny, because this game is also on the Nintendo DS! Do you get it? Some can even transform into bosses you fight from the story mode, which is like... okay! 

Bowser’s Rump Command, which is code for his b*ttom, is home to the Evoglobins! Aside from participating in the famous video-game tournament, EVO, these Globins have: limbs! Hooray! They also help you bring Bowser back from the dead and transform him into a giant. Man... I wish my body had stuff like that. 

In the Flab Zone, you’ll meet the Nutsoglobins! And man, are they cool! The shades, the afro-shaped lumps... what could be cooler? Quizzes, apparently! The Nutsoglobins will quiz you in order to give you hints on how to traverse the area. Don’t want hints? Don’t talk to them! Also fun: their Japanese name is Waruglobin, as in bad-globin. Meaning they’re either total bad boys, or the Emoglobin’s equivalent to Wario.

Liftoglobins are of course, lifts! Or platforms, if you will. What’s a platform game without platforms? While usually motionless, when they’re frozen, they grow a face. And it’s not a happy face. The only thing to bring them joy is when Mario and Luigi step on them. Then you can slide them around with the stylus. Look, I won’t judge! 

Last, but not least (arguably the most!), is Totemglobin! And they’re pretty self-explanatory, really. It’s a bunch of stacked globins. They block your path, and will only let you through if you hit some blocks in a certain order. Why, Totemglobin? Do you get some kind of sick kick from watching others do block puzzles? ...Don’t answer that. 

[twinkbosmer]

the emoglobins in my body speak in a mixture of dial-up sounds, windows error noises, earthbound sound effects, and that sound you get when you wiggle laminated paper

[recreantic]

[ulezak]

incandescence (prog in work - nightly build 0.1=) by mau∞uam - http://bit.ly/1gYXJhC - prog in work