#empathy things

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Ro wrote me (!!!!!) a really beautiful gift fic for Kinktober and you should all go read it. Go. Shoo!

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4 Signs You’re An Intuitive Empath (Not Just An Empath)

Here are 4 signs that you are an empath with a high degree of intuition.

1. You Can Tell The Difference Between Your Feelings And Those Of Others

One of the major struggles facing many empaths is the assimilation of other people’s feelings into their own mind and body. The energy they absorb merges with their own and pollutes their inner river. They often become like those around them because they cannot tell what’s theirs and what’s not.

For instance, if they encounter angry people, they grow angrier; if they meet an anxious person, this feeds their own anxieties; and if they come across sadness in others, they become sad themselves.

It’s very different for an intuitive empath. They are so in-tune with their inner state that they are able to easily differentiate between it and anything they might soak up from their surroundings.

They are less influenced by the emotions of others. While they can still recognize and feel these emotions, the impact upon their own mental state is less noticeable than it is for other empaths.

They are better at creating a permeable, but controllable, barrier between their own feelings and those of others. They are able to let the two merge should they wish, but they can also keep them separate for the most part.

2. You Can See Beyond Feelings To The Reasons For Them

While empathy allows you to detect and embody the feelings of others, it cannot, by itself, tell you why they are feeling that way.

For non-intuitive types of empaths, this can be a source of great confusion because they end up feeling something that they can’t fully understand or explain.

One of the traits of an intuitive individual, however, is the ability to take a step back and view things from a broad perspective, and this allows them to identify the links – both direct and indirect – between cause and effect.

Intuitive empaths spot things that other empaths don’t; they let their unconscious reflect on what they see, and it provides them with insight into why a person may be feeling they way they are.

They don’t necessarily do this with any conscious intent; it is simply a natural instinct and skill that comes from having both empathy and intuition in abundance.

Sometimes an intuitive empath may even have a better understanding of a person’s feelings than the person does themselves. This is a major reason for the next sign.

3. You Help People Understand Their Own Feelings

If you’re an intuitive empath, there is a good chance that you’ve helped many people figure out what they are feeling and, more importantly, why they are feeling it.

You probably enjoy talking with others about their emotions, their thoughts, their dreams, and their worries. You just seem to be able to ‘get’ what it is they are telling you even if they can’t really put it into words.

Like most people, you have probably experienced the full spectrum of feelings during your lifetime and these are stored, along with the relevant context, deep within your unconscious. It is your intuitive ability to perceive and understand the signals sent by this part of your mind that prove so valuable in identifying why others feel a certain way.

You aren’t just able to put yourselves in their shoes from an emotional standpoint; you can grasp their rationale and the wider circumstances too. These help you to piece together a more detailed picture and give them potential reasons for their feelings.

4. You Are The Go-to Person For Advice And Counselling

With their abilities to understand and appreciate the feelings of others and their inclination towards taking a bird’s eye view of things, intuitive empaths make ideal counselors.

You are probably the person others turn to first when they are facing a problem and are unable to see a solution to it. Once you have spoken to them, felt what they feel, and understood why they feel that way, you have one last trick up your sleeve: your creativity.

Intuitives tend to be creative people and their knack for thinking outside of the box means they are exemplary problem-solvers. You are able to suggest various ways of approaching the situation and offer the pros and cons of each.

Where third parties are involved, your empath traits mean you are also adept at stepping into their shoes so as to consider how they might respond to each given option – even if you have never met them and are simply going on what you’ve been told.

All of these things mean you are often called upon by friends and family members to lend an ear and provide advice. You become a confidant of sorts; someone that they can discuss anything with and someone they know will give a frank, but constructive response.

Source: A Conscious Rethink

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15 Things To Remember If You Love An Empath

1.  We cannot change, so please don’t expect that. 

Nothing will drive an Empath further away more than if you try to change our sensitivity and emphatic abilities. YES, we are different from the majority of the people you know but so what? We’re sensitive. We’re intuitive. We get easily overstimulated. We cry. We see the beauty in everything. We feel the pain of others. Don’t try to change us. It won’t work and we will close ourselves off to you immediately.

2.  Caging us will cause damage. 

We are like birds; we need to be able to fly freely to wherever our emotions take us. There will be highs and lows and twisting and turning in-betweens. Caging us is like clipping our wings. We will lose the light that guides our way if you try to control us. If that happens, we will shut down and the love we have to give gets tucked pretty deep inside of us. The damage is hard to undo but can be avoided by not trying to cage us.

3.  Time alone is non-negotiable.

Empaths need to re-energize in a space that is all their own. It will look differently for everyone but chances are they need time to be alone. It can be tiring always feeling the energy of the people surrounding us, please don’t be mad or annoyed when we need to refuel on our own. It doesn’t mean we don’t love or want to be around you. It means we need to quiet our mind and replenish our energy. We will come back happier than before, I promise.

4.  Take what we say seriously.

Empaths are extremely creative folks. There’s always a next idea that’s popping up in their head, listen to them. Take them seriously. Believe in them, even as crazy as the idea sounds. Empaths, arguably more than anyone else, have the ability to truly change the world. Listen to them when they pour their hearts out to you. Because somewhere in between their excitement, their passion and words that get jumbled, something quite amazing is ready to be created.

5.  Being supportive helps us open up.

We know we’re different, this isn’t new to us. We know the way we see life doesn’t make sense to a lot of non-empathetic people. We also know there’s a whole world of people out there trying to change us. If you want to love us, support us. Step out on a limb and put a little faith in us. This actually helps us feel safe enough to more open about who we are.

6.  Our intuition is usually spot on.

Contrary to popular belief, we actually do know what we’re talking about. We’re empathetic, remember? We feel everything. So, when we have a good feeling about something, trust us. When we have a bad feeling about something, trust us. When we go after a dream because it speaks to our hearts, trust us. When we think somebody is lying, trust us. For a non-empathetic person I understand this is putting a lot of “blind faith” in someone but trust me, trusting the Empath in you life will show her that you believe in what she’s saying.

7.  Be honest; dishonesty destroys us.

As an Empath, most people think sugar-coating things is the way to go. I will tell you with 100% certainty being honest is the ONLY way to go. The betrayal we feel from being lied to, after we have opened up our hearts and souls to you, is something that will take a very long time to recover from. It can, and most likely, will ruin your relationship. Just be honest.The couple of days of crying sure beats losing an Empath for good.

8.  Don’t compete with the love we have for our animals.

MOST, not all, but most Empaths feel unbelievably connected to animals and have a one or two (or seven) furry friends that they ABSOLUTELY LOVE. When I say connected what I really mean is they would do anything for them. Some days you will feel like you come second to them. If you want the honest truth, you kinda do. They can’t help it. The love they feel for their pets is different from the love they feel for you and it shouldn’t be competed with. Don’t try. I guarantee your wife will love you more if you can accept and appreciate the deep love she has for her dog.

9.  We need you to make us laugh.

Some days we need someone to pull us out of our non-stop minds and remind us what it is to laugh until our bellies hurt. To have fun like children do. To live in the moment and not be so serious all the time. We need someone to push the pause button for a moment and let us know it’s OK to enjoy ourselves.

10.  Know there are some things we will never give up.

There are things in this world that speak so clearly and directly to our hearts it feels like it’s apart of us. As dramatic as it may sound, it’s almost like we won’t be ourselves without it. It could be music, painting, photography, working for a non-profit organization, feeding the homeless. It’s love and passion. Some of the most passionate people in the world are Empaths. If we lose our passion, we lose ourselves. Please don’t ask or expect us to give up on something that has changed our hearts for the better.

11.  Our hearts break daily.

It’s overwhelming being an Empath. Some days all it takes is for somebody to say one “wrong” thing to me or to see an image of something terrible or hear a story about a person I don’t know who’s gone through the unthinkable and I’m crying like a baby. Our hearts break easily. It can be devastating at times to be an Empath so on those days, let us cry. No questions or advice needed, just accept our hearts are heavy from this world and we need to cry it out.

12.  Understand we love with great intensity.

It’s no surprise that when you feel deeply connected to almost everything, you love with great intensity. We truly feel “one” with our surroundings! So when we love somebody we feel one with them and our love is intense. It’s powerful. It can heal but in the wrong hands, it can be dangerous. In the right hands, it will change you forever. And for the better.

13.  Accept our abilities to feel the world around us.

Poking fun at our sensitivity is one thing. Judging, ridiculing and belittling who we truly are is another. Acting as if “this” is something we will “get over” is a kiss of death when in a relationship with an Empath. Accept us. Love us. We have a unique ability to see and feel the world differently. Don’t judge us, please.

14.  Don’t cast your insecurity on us.

It takes a secure man to really love an Empathetic woman. That is the God’s honest truth. If you want to tear her down by casting your insecurity on her, sadly it may work. Feeling how others feel isn’t something she can turn off. But I know if you do that, she will hide the best of her from you. She will temporarily clip her own wings and it will be your loss. The beauty and most amazing parts of her happen when she’s in motion.

15.  If it is too much, please leave gracefully.

Maybe you’ve met her at the wrong time, or it wasn’t meant to be forever or this is too much for you right now. Either way, love her by leaving gracefully. Do not cage her or put her down or make her feel insecure about who she is. Love her by leaving with respect and honesty. She will love and thank you for it.

If you get the chance to love an Empath even just once in your life, you are lucky. It won’t always be easy but it will most definitely be worth it.

Source: Ashley Gulla

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