"Nicky, please," Charmaine insisted. "Checking on him again isn't going to work. Joe's Immortality is gone. The wound is going to need time to heal. More time than before. I can't imagine how much this is hurting you but we need to keep our heads. Once we're out of here, you can take him Malta to live into old age. But we're not there yet. Please. We've lost Andy, we're losing Joe. You need to step up and be the leader here."
breaking mine and nicky’s heart | nicky.
He was as pale as a corpse and the dark circles under his eyes were even more prominent. When Charmaine spoke to him he barely reacted, not even with a simple blinking of his eyes. As if the words flew right by him or that he hadn't heard her speak at all. This new reality had hit him hard, and in fact, it hadn't settled with him yet. He didn't, or rather couldn't, understand that it was happening. That Yusuf Al-Kaysani was going to die and not wake up again. The pain in his chest was an aching that made him anxious and restless. He couldn't stop this, not his own grief or the loss of the man that meant everything to him.
"I need to see him." There was an attempt at being calm and quiet, the way he was most of the time, but the trembling in his voice was unmistakable. Almost like the sound of a plea, because they were words he had repeated in the last twelve hours. He had been to see Joseph as much as he could be, then been guided out of the room only to return again to make sure that Joseph was still breathing. When Charmaine told him to be the leader he wanted to yell at her. A glare in his eyes was all he ended up pointing at her. How could she tell him to pull it together at a time like this? Even if she was right, he had no interest in what was right. The man he was losing was the very reason he had decided to be a better man, every day since his wrongdoings in the eleventh century. "Don't say that, don't you speak like he is already gone. I can't ... I won't."
Nicky pushed his way passed Charmaine, for once not caring about whether he came across as demeaning. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that he should do as she asked of him. He even knew that Joseph might tell him the same that she was, but he still couldn't help but let his selfish desires take over. Didn't they understand that he was nothing without the man he loved? That he was a brutal fighter with no hope and who killed anybody without caring about their background. Because of Yusuf Al-Kaysani he was a better man and what was he going to become now that he was losing him? On his way to Joe's bed and some distance between him and Charmaine, it was impossible to keep his emotions in check. As the pain in his chest grew harder to handle, silent tears rolled down his cheeks.