This was written for @impala-dreamer 's Through His Eyes - A Dean Winchester Writing Challenge. Thanks, Beka! The prompt (in bold in the fic) was the quote "Goddamn it, you need to hear me!"
Pairing: Dean x Reader, established relationship
Word Count: 2060
Warnings: Angst, Dean going out of his mind, maybe a little hurt/comfort
Impala dividers by @firefly-graphics
We’re flying low, the trees just look like a green blur outside the windows, and I’m just hoping the cops are busy with something besides speed traps today. All I can think about is getting there faster. I keep thinking there had to be something I could have said that would have stopped her, but fuck, I know better.
She’s just as stubborn as I am.
We just finished up a case in Hawthorne, Nevada – and I was thinking, hey, not too far to Reno. Maybe a mini-vacation before we head home. Then my phone rang.
“Hey, Dean!”
“Hey, sweetheart – on your way home?” She’s been in Greenville, North Carolina, visiting her sister, and it’s been way too fucking long.
“God, I’ve missed you, baby.” Her voice warms me all the way up. “Can’t wait to see you. But – and don’t get mad – I ran into a little snag on the road.”
“What kind of snag? Why would I be mad?”
“Kind of ran into a case.”
Okay, now I was mad. “Damn it, you promised no hunting on your own.”
“I know, I know – but how can I not do something, Dean?” I’m grinding my teeth, trying to be patient and let her finish, but I’m about to snap off a molar or something. “Dean, my sister’s friend – her daughter went missing. And I started checking things out – I’m pretty sure it’s a djinn.”
“Jesus Christ, you know how dangerous it is messing with a djinn without backup! You can’t – look, listen, we just finished up here, we’ll hit the road and go in and take care of that thing together, okay?”
“Dean, you’re clear across the country from me.”
“I don’t care. You need to wait for us. Promise me you’ll wait.”
“She could be dying in there.”
“So you already know where they are?”
“Yeah. I do. I’ve been careful, but Dean…”
“No! Goddamn it! Promise me you’ll wait, babe. Please.” Sometimes ‘please’ works. Not usually.
I could hear her breathing on the other end, probably trying to think of some way to tell me no that wouldn’t make me explode.
“Dean – I know you’re worried, but don’t be. I’ve been hunting for a long time, I can handle it. You’re two days away, baby, and that girl might not have that long.”
“Son of a bitch.” At least I didn’t yell. “I don’t like it. You should have backup, it’s too fucking dangerous. Is there anybody out there? Hunters?”
“Not that I know. Dean, I know you’re pissed and I know you’re worried, but I’ve gotta do this. I’ll be okay. I’ll call you later.”
“Sweetheart, wait… Hey! Damn it!” She’d already hung up, and I knew she wouldn’t answer if I called her back to try and talk her out of it.
So here we are. I’m driving like a fucking idiot because I’m going out of my mind. I need to be there now. Fuck, that’s it, I’m never letting her go anywhere alone again, I should have known she’d find something to hunt, that fucking instinct of hers…
Sam keeps offering to drive, but if I’m not doing that then I’m going insane. The only thing I’ve heard from her since that phone call is a text with the coordinates and a message – ‘I know you’re driving like a maniac trying to get here, please be careful and don’t worry.’ Yeah, like that’s happening.
I can’t stop thinking about the djinn I’ve dealt with, how close I came… Fuck. I can’t. I can’t lose her. I never thought – never – that I’d find somebody like her. Sometimes it’s almost like we’re one person, say the same things at the same time, laugh at the same stupid shit. She knows everything about me. Everything. The only person besides Sammy that really knows me. That I can depend on.
I fucking need her.
Shit, it feels like something’s trying to claw its way out of my chest right now. What if we’re too late? What if…”
“Dean? You okay?” Sam’s voice interrupts my doom spiral.
“I’m fine.”
“Want me to try and call her again?”
I nod my head, biting down hard on my lip to try and get back in control. Can’t afford to lose it right now, gotta focus, stay on the road, get there as fast as we can.
“No answer. Straight to voice mail.”
I nod. I don’t want to say it out loud, but I can’t help it. “Sammy, what if…”
“Don’t even think it, Dean. She’s gonna be fine. We have to believe she’s gonna be fine.”
I nod again. I’m trying like hell to believe. But that monster inside my chest is telling me there’s something wrong, and I’m having a real hard time keeping my shit together.
Endless road. Feels like one of those fucking nightmares where you’re running but you’re not getting anywhere. Every once in a while Sam bugs me about letting him drive so I can get some sleep, but I mostly just ignore him, or tell him I’m fine.
I’m not fine. I turn the radio on for a while, until I can’t stand the music mixed in with the noise in my head, so I turn it off again. Until the quiet gets to me, then I turn it back on again. Endless thoughts about what we might find when we finally get there, to go along with the endless driving down the endless highway.
Sam finally bitches at me enough that I agree to let him drive for a while. I probably won’t be able to sleep anyway, but at least he’ll quit nagging. I slouch down in the passenger seat, closing my eyes even though I know it’s hopeless.
Next thing I know, I’m waking up in a cold sweat, my heart is pounding. “Dean, you okay?” Sam asks, and I nod after a minute.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
He clears his throat. Here we go again with the positive thoughts. “You know she’s a good hunter, Dean. I’m sure she’s fine.”
Yep. And I’m done. “You keep saying that, Sam. Over and over. But if she’s fine, why haven’t we heard from her? She’s not answering her phone. If she broke it, or lost it, she’d get another one and let us know. She’s either hurt, or that djinn has her, or…” I can’t say it out loud, but it’s screaming in my head – ‘or she’s dead.’ But it’s not his fault, he’s just trying to help, so I take a breath and try to calm down. “Sorry, Sammy. I just… How much farther?”
“We’re about five hours away, I think.”
“Pull over at that station, I’m gonna get some coffee, and I’ll drive the rest of the way.”
He looks at me for a second, then finally nods. “Okay.”
We finally drive through the small town close to the coordinates she sent, and it feels like everything inside me is vibrating. I’m holding on to the steering wheel so hard I’m not sure I’ll be able to let go when we get there.
Sam gives me directions, turn left here, right there, 2 more miles and finally – finally – we’re pulling up to an old abandoned building, looks like it used to sell farm equipment or something. I’m out of the car almost before it’s completely stopped, heading for the trunk, the lamb’s blood and the knives so we can kill this fucker and find her.
She has to be alive.
Sun’s going down, it’s all shadows and dim light as we go inside, quiet, adrenaline has me so alert I don’t even think I’m blinking. We go down a dark hallway and into the main room, junk sitting everywhere, but we make our way around, scanning every inch for the djinn. I step around a pile of boxes, Sam goes a little farther ahead to come in a different way, and I see a familiar sight, like stepping back into one of my nightmares.
There’s a girl strung up by her wrists not ten feet in front of me, looks like she’s about 16 or so. Just as I get close to her, I hear a commotion and then Sam busts into the room, wrestling with that glowing blue sonofabitch. I tear ass over there, and we all go down in a pile, but he’s not strong enough to fight both of us at once. Sam drives that knife right into its heart, gives it a twist and sends it to Purgatory. Hopefully that was the only one – they’re usually loners, but we need to be careful.
I send Sam over to where I saw the girl, and I pull out my flashlight, start looking. There are a couple of other bodies hanging, but they’re long gone. I’m starting to panic, but then I move behind another pile of boxes and there she is.
I run over there, saying her name over and over again, begging her to wake up. I lift her off off the hook she’s hanging from, cut the ropes and go down to my knees with her in my lap while I carefully pull that fucking needle out of her neck. “Come on, sweetheart, you gotta wake up for me.” She’s breathing, she has a pulse, but she’s still unconscious, and I’m fucking scared.
My hands are shaking so bad, but I try to get her hair out of her face, lift her eyelids and look, but her eyes are rolled back and her mouth is dropped open. She probably put up a fight – of course she did, and that motherfucker probably gave her an extra strong dose to knock her out.
I keep talking to her, patting her face, and I finally lose it. “Goddamn it, you need to hear me! Come on, baby – fucking WAKE UP!” I’m holding her by her shoulders and shaking her, and she finally tries to open her eyes. “Hey, sweetheart – yeah, that’s it, come on, open your eyes for me. Jesus, baby, come on.”
“Dean?” She’s trying like hell to keep her eyes open, still limp in my arms. “Where – where are the kids?”
Fuck. “Hey, sweetheart, come on, open your eyes and come back to me. Look at me, baby.”
She slowly tips her head back and looks up into my face, it takes her a minute, but finally she’s actually looking at me. “Dean? What happened?”
I can’t help it, I just wrap my arms around her and pull her up into my chest and hold her. I don’t ever fucking want to let go, and I’m trying not to cry like a fucking kid. “Goddamnit, baby, you scared the shit out of me.”
Sam walks up just then. “Dean?” I can tell he’s worried, scared I’m just sitting there holding your body.
“She’s okay, Sammy. She’s okay.” I look up at him, and he lets out a sigh of relief, a half-tearful smile on his face.
“We should get her to the car. I have that girl in the back seat, she’s barely awake, I think we should get her to a hospital. We should get them both to a hospital.”
I nod, and manage to stumble my way to my feet with her in my arms. “I can walk, I’m okay,” she mumbles, and I can’t help but laugh a little.
“Maybe after we get you checked out.”
After checking that young girl in at the hospital with a bullshit story about a kidnapping, escape, and Sam and I rescuing them from a road ditch, we managed to get out of there before the cops came in, and headed down the road. I let Sam drive and sat in the back seat with her still in my arms. “Maybe we should get a room for the night, let you get some sleep?” I asked her, but she shook her head.
“I just wanna go home. Can we just go home?”
Sam smiled at me in the rear view and nodded, and I gave her a squeeze. “Okay, baby. We’ll go home.” We stretched out on the back seat, her laying halfway on top of me, my arms wrapped around her tight.
