With all of the pirate weirdness in town, there are many people who have a lot of questions. Frankly, they seem to be the tip of the iceberg in terms of things people have questions on. That's why I have decided to formally launch my junior private investigation service! Enigmas, Inc. is officially up and running. If you are a UMWR student or faculty member (or really anybody, but jobs off campus will cost more.) with a sneaking suspicion that something isn't 100% as it seems, then please feel free to reach out.
I've gone ahead and attached an image of my 100% official professional business card. Please reach out only if you have a serious business inquiry! I look forward to cracking some cases with you all.
[user attaches the following very professional and serious looking image]